DMT: The Spirit Molecule: A Doctor's Revolutionary Research into the Biology of Near-Death and Mystical Experiences

«We do not possess imagination enough to sense what we are missing.» — el epígrafe del volumen, que la capa de texto firma Jean Toomer1 con la llamada de nota pegada al apellido; la nota de la plana 355 lo remite a Essentials, editado con Rudolph P. Byrd

«In 19901 began the first new research in the United States in over twenty years on the effects of psychedelic, or hallucinogenic, drugs on humans.» — Strassman abre la Introduction fechando el estudio: dice haber iniciado en 1990 la primera investigación nueva en los Estados Unidos en más de veinte años sobre psicodélicos en humanos. La capa de texto funde el año con el verbo y deja 19901 donde el volumen imprime 1990 I

«These studies investigated the effects of N,N-dimethyltryptamine, or DMT, an extremely short-acting and powerful psychedelic.» — Strassman nombra la sustancia estudiada y la caracteriza como psicodélico muy breve y muy potente

«During the project's five years, I administered approximately four hundred doses of DMT to sixty human volunteers.» — Strassman da las cifras del estudio: unas cuatrocientas dosis a sesenta voluntarios en cinco años

«This research took place at the University of New Mexico's School of Medicine in Albuquerque, where I was tenured Associate Professor of Psychiatry.» — Strassman sitúa el estudio en la Facultad de Medicina de la Universidad de Nuevo México, en Albuquerque, donde era profesor asociado titular de Psiquiatría

«I was drawn to DMT because of its presence in all of our bodies. I believed the source of this DMT was the mysterious pineal gland, a tiny organ situated in the center of our brains.» — Strassman declara el motivo de su interés: el DMT está en todos los cuerpos, y él suponía que la fuente era la glándula pineal. El verbo con que lo dice es de creencia, no de hallazgo

«Modern medicine knows little about this little gland's role, but it has a rich "metaphysical" history. Descartes, for example, believed the pineal was the "seat of the soul," and both Western and Eastern mystical traditions place our highest spiritual center within its confines.» — Strassman contrapone el poco saber médico sobre la pineal a su historia metafísica, y remite a Descartes, para quien la glándula era el asiento del alma, y a las tradiciones místicas que ponen ahí el centro espiritual más alto

«I therefore wondered if excessive pineal DMT production was involved in naturally occurring "psychedelic" states. These might include birth, death and near-death, psychosis, and mystical experiences.» — la hipótesis de partida, enunciada como pregunta: si un exceso de DMT pineal interviene en los estados psicodélicos que ocurren solos, entre ellos el nacimiento, la muerte, la psicosis y la experiencia mística

«Only later, when the study was well underway, did I also begin considering DMT's role in the "alien abduction" experience.» — Strassman fecha la entrada del asunto de las abducciones en su investigación: no estaba al principio, llegó con el estudio ya andando

«The DMT project was founded on cutting-edge brain science, especially that which dealt with the psychopharmacology of serotonin.» — Strassman declara la base científica del proyecto, que es la psicofarmacología de la serotonina

«Although all of us believed in the potentially beneficial properties of psychedelic drugs, the studies were not intended to be therapeutic, and so our research subjects were healthy volunteers.» — Strassman acota el diseño: el equipo creía en las propiedades benéficas de los psicodélicos, pero los estudios no eran terapéuticos y por eso los sujetos eran voluntarios sanos

«The project generated a wealth of biological and psychological data, much of which I have already published in the scientific literature. On the other hand, I have written nearly nothing about volunteers' stories.» — Strassman distingue lo ya publicado en la literatura científica de lo que este libro trae por primera vez, que son los relatos de los voluntarios

«Problems inside and outside of the research environment led to the end of these studies in 1995.» — Strassman fecha el final del estudio en 1995 y lo atribuye a problemas dentro y fuera del entorno de investigación

«am optimistic about the possible benefits of the controlled use of psychedelic drugs.» — Strassman declara su optimismo sobre el uso controlado de los psicodélicos pese a las dificultades encontradas. El verbatim arranca después del corte de chunk, que reemite la marca de la plana 13 a media oración: la frase entera empieza con las palabras que preceden al corte, *Despite the difficulties we encountered, I*

«Based upon what we learned in the New Mexico research, I offer a wide-ranging vision for DMT's role in our lives and conclude by proposing a research agenda and optimal setting for future work with DMT and related drugs.» — Strassman anuncia lo que el libro propone al final: una visión amplia del papel del DMT y una agenda de investigación con su entorno óptimo

«The late Willis Harman possessed one of the most discerning minds to apply itself to the field of psychedelic research. Earlier in his career, he and his colleagues administered LSD to scientists in an attempt to bolster their problem-solving skills. They found that LSD demonstrated a powerfully beneficial effect on creativity. This landmark research remains the first and only scientific project to use psychedelics to enhance the creative process.» — Strassman presenta a Willis Harman y le adjudica, con sus colegas, la única investigación científica que haya usado psicodélicos para potenciar la creatividad: administraron LSD a científicos para mejorar su capacidad de resolver problemas

«When I met Willis thirty years later, in 1994, he was president of the Institute of Noetic Sciences, an organization founded by the sixth man to walk on the moon, Edgar Mitchell.» — Strassman fecha su encuentro con Harman en 1994 y lo sitúa al frente del Institute of Noetic Sciences, fundado por Edgar Mitchell

«study phenomena outside the range of traditional science that nevertheless might yield to a broader application of the scientific method.» — según Strassman, la experiencia mística de Edgar Mitchell al ver la Tierra en el regreso lo llevó a esto. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana: la oración empieza en la plana 13 y el tramo se corta ahí

«During a long walk together along the central California coastal range one day, Willis said firmly, "At the very least, we must enlarge the discussion about psychedelics.» — el encargo de Willis Harman en boca de Harman, que Strassman reproduce como la razón de incluir en el libro ideas especulativas y motivaciones personales

«It is in response to his request that I include in this book highly speculative ideas and my own personal motivations for performing this research.» — Strassman declara que las ideas altamente especulativas y sus motivaciones personales entran al libro por pedido de Harman

«This approach will satisfy no one in every respect. There is intense friction between what we know intellectually, or even intuitively, and what we experience with the aid of DMT.» — Strassman enuncia la fricción entre lo que se sabe intelectual o intuitivamente y lo que se experimenta con DMT, y advierte que su modo de tratarla no contentará a nadie del todo

«Or as Dogen, a thirteenth-century Japanese Buddhist teacher, said, "We must always be disturbed by the truth.» — Strassman cita a Dogen, maestro budista japonés del siglo XIII, para decir que la verdad tiene que perturbar

«Proponents of drug control may condemn what they read as encouragement to take psychedelic drugs and a glorification of the DMT experience.» — Strassman anticipa la objeción de los partidarios del control de drogas, que pueden leer el libro como estímulo para consumir

«Practitioners and spokespersons of traditional religions may reject the suggestion that spiritual states can be accessed, and mystical information gained, through drugs.» — Strassman anticipa la objeción de las religiones tradicionales a la idea de que los estados espirituales y el saber místico se alcancen con drogas

«Brain researchers may object to the suggestion that DMT affects the brain's ability to receive information, rather than only generating those perceptions.» — la hipótesis del cerebro como receptor y no solo como generador de percepciones, enunciada por Strassman como objeción que los investigadores del cerebro le harán

«They also may dismiss the proposal that DMT can allow our brains to perceive dark matter or parallel universes, realms of existence inhabited by conscious entities.» — la propuesta más arriesgada del volumen en palabras de Strassman: que el DMT permita al cerebro percibir materia oscura o universos paralelos habitados por entidades conscientes

«However, if I did not describe all the ideas behind the DMT studies, and the entire range of our volunteers' experiences, I would not be telling the entire tale.» — Strassman justifica la inclusión de lo especulativo: sin todas las ideas y sin el rango entero de las sesiones no estaría contando la historia completa

«Nor would I be honest if I did not share my own speculations and theories, which are based on decades of study and listening to hundreds of DMT sessions.» — Strassman apoya sus especulaciones y teorías en décadas de estudio y en haber escuchado cientos de sesiones con DMT

«It is so important for us to understand consciousness. It is just as important to place psychedelic drugs in general, and DMT in particular, into a personal and cultural matrix in which we do the most good, and the least harm.» — Strassman enuncia el fin declarado: entender la consciencia y colocar los psicodélicos en una matriz personal y cultural que haga el mayor bien y el menor daño

«In such a wide-open area of inquiry, it is best that we reject no ideas until we actually disprove them.» — la regla de método que Strassman propone para un campo tan abierto: no rechazar ninguna idea mientras no se la haya puesto a prueba

«ne morning in December 1990, I gave both Philip and Nils an injection of a large dose of intravenous DMT. These two men were the first people in the study to receive DMT, and they were helping me determine the best dose and manner of injecting it.» — la escena que abre el prólogo: Strassman fecha en diciembre de 1990 la sesión con dosis alta intravenosa de Philip y Nils, los dos primeros del estudio. La capitular del volumen se pierde en la capa de texto y el renglón arranca en *ne morning* donde el impreso pone *One morning*

«They were our "human guinea pigs."» — el término con que Strassman nombra a los dos primeros voluntarios

«Two weeks earlier, I had given the very first dose of DMT to Philip. As I will describe, the intramuscular injection, into his shoulder, didn't give completely satisfactory results. We then switched to the intravenous route, and Nils received the drug that way for the first time a week later.» — Strassman ordena los primeros ensayos: la intramuscular en el hombro de Philip no dio resultado satisfactorio y se pasó a la vía intravenosa, que Nils recibió una semana después

«It was hard to believe we really were giving DMT to human volunteers. A two-year process of obtaining permission and funding, which I felt would never end, was finally over. Attaining the goal never seemed as likely as the continual struggle to do so.» — Strassman describe el trámite: dos años de permisos y financiamiento, y la sensación de que alcanzar la meta nunca pareció tan probable como la lucha por alcanzarla

«About a year before starting our study, they had attended a ceremony in which a Peruvian folk healer gave all participants ayahuasca, the legendary DMT-containing tea.» — Strassman sitúa la experiencia previa de Philip y Nils en una ceremonia con ayahuasca conducida por un curandero peruano, un año antes del estudio

«Philip's and Nils's experiences smoking DMT were typical: a startlingly rapid onset of effects, a kaleidoscopic display of visual hallucinations, and a separation of consciousness from the physical body.» — Strassman resume los efectos típicos de fumar DMT: aparición rapidísima, despliegue caleidoscópico de alucinaciones visuales y separación de la consciencia respecto del cuerpo

«And, most curiously, there was a feeling of "the other" somewhere within the hallucinatory world to which this remarkable psychedelic allowed them entrance.» — el rasgo que Strassman destaca por curioso: la sensación de que hay otro dentro del mundo alucinatorio al que el DMT da entrada

«Since recreational users of DMT usually smoke it, I wanted to approximate as closely as possible the effects as they occur when taken in this manner.» — el criterio de diseño: Strassman busca aproximar por vía inyectada los efectos de fumar, que es como lo usan quienes lo toman fuera de la investigación

«However, since all but one of the previously published human research papers on DMT reported giving it intramuscularly, I was obliged to begin this way.» — Strassman explica por qué empezó por la vía intramuscular: salvo uno, todos los trabajos publicados sobre DMT en humanos la habían usado

«Philip was forty-five years old when he began participating in our research. Bespectacled, bearded, and of medium height and build, he was an internationally known clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, and» — la presentación del voluntario que el libro llama Philip: cuarenta y cinco años, psicólogo clínico y psicoterapeuta de renombre internacional. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y sigue en la 19 con *workshop leader*

«workshop leader. He was soft-spoken but direct, and he elicited great affection from his friends and clients.» — la continuación del retrato de Philip en la plana siguiente: de hablar suave y directo, y muy querido por amigos y pacientes

«He liked to say that the title of his self-help best-seller would be Surviving Your Life.» — el rasgo con que Strassman cierra el retrato de Philip, en pleno divorcio: el título que decía que tendría su libro de autoayuda

«Philip was to be the scout. Cindy, our research nurse, and I were to remain at "base camp," to hear about where he went after his return.» — el reparto de papeles que Strassman describe con la figura del explorador y el campamento base: Philip iba de avanzada y él y la enfermera Cindy se quedaban a oír el relato

«I'll wipe your shoulder with some alcohol. Take as much time as you need to collect yourself. Then I'll inject the needle into your arm, draw back to make sure I'm not in a blood vessel, and then push in the plunger on the syringe. It might sting, or it might not. I don't really know. You ought to feel something in a minute or less. But I'm not sure what that something will be. You're the first.» — lo que Strassman le dice a Philip antes de la primera inyección, con la reserva declarada de que no sabe qué va a sentir

«He opened his eyes widely to briefly gaze at us one more time, then closed them again, took a deep breath, and on his exhalation said, "I'm ready.» — el asentimiento de Philip antes de la inyección, en la narración de Strassman

«About 25 minutes after the injection, Philip opened his eyes and looked up at Robin. Smiling, he said, / could have done more.» — lo primero que dice Philip veinticinco minutos después de la inyección intramuscular, en la narración de Strassman; lo del voluntario va en cursiva en el impreso y la capa de texto convierte su I cursiva inicial en una barra, que es la única marca con que el troceo distingue la voz del voluntario de la del narrador

«never lost touch with my body. Compared to smoking DMT, the visuals were less intense, the colors were not as deep, and the geometric patterns did not move as fast.» — el informe de Philip sobre la vía intramuscular comparada con fumar: menos intensidad visual, colores menos hondos y patrones geométricos más lentos. Va en cursiva en el impreso y la capa de texto vuelve barra la I inicial

«He felt "spaced-out," fuzzy in his mind, awkward» — Strassman describe el estado de Philip al levantarse tras la dosis intramuscular: aturdido, con la mente borrosa y torpe al caminar

«When we spoke, Philip told me that Robin and he went to eat lunch after leaving the hospital. He immediately became more alert and focused. On the ride home, he felt euphoric, and colors seemed brighter everywhere he looked. He sounded quite happy.» — Strassman reporta lo que Philip le contó esa noche: alerta y foco inmediatos, euforia en el camino a casa y colores más brillantes

«expected to jump to a higher level, to leave the body and ego consciousness, the jump into cosmic space. But this did not happen.» — del informe escrito que Philip envió unos días después, en cursiva en el impreso: esperaba saltar a un nivel más alto y salir del cuerpo y de la consciencia del yo, y no ocurrió. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«This threshold to which Philip referred is what we now call the "psychedelic threshold" for DMT. You cross it when there is a separation of consciousness from the body and psychedelic effects completely replace the mind's normal contents. There is a sense of wonder or awe, and a feeling of undeniable certainty in the reality of the experience.» — la definición del umbral psicodélico del DMT que Strassman fija a partir del informe de Philip: separación de la consciencia respecto del cuerpo, reemplazo completo de los contenidos normales de la mente, asombro y certeza indudable de la realidad de lo vivido

«It was great to have Philip in this explorer's role. He was psychologically mature and stable and was familiar with the effects of psychedelics in general, and DMT in particular. He could make clear, understandable comparisons between different drugs and different ways of receiving them. His case was powerful validation of our decision to enroll only experienced psychedelic users.» — Strassman justifica con el caso de Philip el criterio de admitir solo a usuarios experimentados de psicodélicos

«During this "rush," which usually happens in the first 15 to 30 seconds after smoking DMT, the shift from normal consciousness to an overwhelming psychedelic reality takes place with breathtaking speed.» — Strassman describe el golpe inicial de fumar DMT: en los primeros quince a treinta segundos el paso de la consciencia normal a una realidad psicodélica abrumadora

«It is this "nuclear cannon" effect that users find so frighteningly attractive. We definitely needed a more rapid way of getting DMT into the system.» — el término con que Strassman nombra ese golpe y la conclusión práctica que saca: hacía falta una vía más rápida

«The smell of burning DMT is intensely nauseating, like that of burning plastic.» — Strassman describe el olor del DMT quemado al fumarlo en pipa

«The fastest and most efficient way to administer DMT is by injection. Intramuscular injections depend on the relatively limited blood flow through muscles to drain away the drug, and it is the slowest type of injection. Drugs also may be given into the skin, or subcutaneously, where the slightly richer blood flow makes for a faster, though usually painful, method. Injection into a vein is the best method.» — Strassman ordena las vías de administración por rapidez y concluye que la intravenosa es la mejor

«The time for this entire process, what physiologists call "arm-to-tongue time," is usually about 16 seconds.» — el dato fisiológico con que Strassman mide la rapidez de la vía intravenosa, el llamado tiempo brazo-lengua, con la llamada de nota pegada a la cifra tal como la imprime la capa de texto

«I consulted with my colleague who had made the DMT, David Nichols, Ph.D., at Purdue University in Indiana. He agreed that I needed to switch to the intravenous route. Reflecting upon our mutual anxiety about this change in plans, he added dryly, "I'm glad it's you and not me.» — Strassman reproduce lo que le dijo David Nichols, de Purdue, al coincidir en el cambio a la vía intravenosa

«You are the only research scientist in the world giving DMT. You're the expert. You decide.» — lo que el médico de la FDA a quien el libro llama Dr. W. le responde cuando Strassman le pide opinión sobre el cambio de vía

«There was only one previously published report that described giving DMT intravenously» — Strassman sitúa el único antecedente publicado de administración intravenosa de DMT; el tramo se corta antes del cruce de plana y la acotación de que fue con pacientes psiquiátricos y no con voluntarios sanos sigue en la plana 23

«That 1950s project studied severely impaired patients with schizophrenia, most of whom were unable to report much about their experiences. In fact, one unfortunate woman's pulse was not detectable for a short while after she received IV DMT. It was in deference to this report that I was so cautious about heart function in all prospective volunteers.» — Strassman explica de dónde le viene la cautela cardiaca: en aquel estudio de los años cincuenta con pacientes con esquizofrenia, a una mujer no se le detectó el pulso durante un rato tras recibir DMT intravenoso

«That will probably give you lower blood and brain levels of DMT than you produced by giving it intramuscularly, and you should have some room to maneuver," he said. "You probably won't overdose anyone this way.» — la recomendación del Dr. W. en su propia voz: pasar a un quinto de la dosis intramuscular al cambiar de vía

«Nils was thirty-six years old when he began in our research. As a younger man, Nils had enlisted in the Army, desiring to specialize in explosives. However, he quickly saw that he was unfit for the armed services, and he applied for an early discharge for psychological reasons. Philip happened to be the psychologist who performed this evaluation on Nils, and they had remained friends afterward.» — la presentación del voluntario que el libro llama Nils: treinta y seis años, paso breve por el Ejército y baja temprana por razones psicológicas evaluada por el propio Philip

«He had written several popular pamphlets, including one announcing his discovery of the psychedelic properties of the venom of the Sonoran Desert toad. This venom contains high levels of 5-methoxy-DMT, a compound closely related to DMT. When smoked, this toad product is quite impressive.» — Strassman adjudica a Nils el anuncio de las propiedades psicodélicas del veneno del sapo del desierto de Sonora, rico en 5-metoxi-DMT

«It made strong telepathic impressions, causing mental bonds with the people around me. This was confusing and overwhelming. I became very excited as an inner voice spoke to me. This was my intuition directly relating to me. It was the most intense experience of my life. I want to go back. I saw a different space with bright bands of color. I couldn't raise my hands, I tripped so hard. It is a mental Mecca, an excellent reference point for all other psychedelics. Those around me looked like alien space insects. I realized they were all part of it, too.» — el informe de Nils sobre su primera vez fumando DMT, en la casa de Philip el año anterior, impreso en cursiva: impresiones telepáticas, una voz interior que él identifica con su intuición, bandas de color y los presentes con aspecto de insectos espaciales

«Nils turned out to be one of the few volunteers who could taste intravenous DMT as the drug-rich blood rushed through his mouth and tongue on the way to his brain. It was a metallic, slightly bitter taste.» — Strassman consigna que Nils era de los pocos que alcanzaban a saborear el DMT intravenoso al pasarle la sangre por la boca

«My notes are sketchy as to the effects of this dose of IV DMT on Nils. This may have been due to his taciturn nature, or because neither of us were especially impressed with the intensity of the experience.» — Strassman declara el límite de su propio registro para esa sesión y da dos explicaciones posibles, sin decidir entre ellas

«Perhaps feeling a little overconfident from how easy these first two sessions—Philip's IM, and Nils's IV—had been, I decided to proceed immediately to triple Nils's IV dose: from 0.2 to 0.6 mg/kg.» — Strassman se adjudica el exceso de confianza con que triplicó de golpe la dosis intravenosa de Nils

«My confidence was premature. In retrospect, a more cautious move to doubling it, to 0.4 mg/kg, would have been more reasonable.» — el juicio retrospectivo de Strassman sobre ese salto de dosis

«I infused the solution of DMT somewhat more quickly than I did for Nils's previous 0.2 mg/kg dose, over 30 seconds rather than a minute. I thought a faster injection might allow for less dilution of the DMT in the bloodstream. This then would generate higher peak levels of DMT in the blood and, therefore, the brain.» — el razonamiento farmacológico con que Strassman acelera la infusión a treinta segundos: menos dilución, niveles máximos más altos en sangre y cerebro

«He then sat up with a start, exclaiming, I'm going to vomit!» — la reacción de Nils a la dosis de 0.6 mg/kg, que el equipo no había previsto

«He mumbled, But I didn't have any breakfast. . . so there's nothing to throw up.» — lo que Nils murmura enseguida, en cursiva en el impreso

«Nils became agitated and pulled the pillow and sleeping bag over his face. He curled into the fetal position, away from us and the blood» — Strassman narra la agitación de Nils y la posición fetal en que se replegó, que dejó sin lectura el aparato de presión. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y sigue en la 26

«We could not get a reading at either 2 or 5 minutes, when we knew his blood pressure and heart rate would be at their highest» — Strassman consigna el hueco de medición en los minutos dos y cinco, cuando la presión y el pulso estarían en su punto más alto

«think the best high dose is between 0.2 and 0.6.» — el dictamen de Nils sobre la dosis, diecinueve minutos después de la inyección; el impreso lo pone en cursiva y la capa de texto vuelve barra su I inicial, de modo que el verbatim arranca en *think*

«There was the movement of the self. I am disappointed that it's ending. It was a cafeteria of colors. A familiar feeling. Yes, I've returned. "They" were there and we recognized each other.» — el informe de Nils en cursiva: movimiento del sí mismo, una cafetería de colores, un sentimiento familiar y un reconocimiento mutuo con unos ellos que el impreso entrecomilla

«I asked, "Who?" No one or thing identifiable as such.» — la respuesta de Nils cuando Strassman le pregunta quiénes eran: nadie ni nada identificable como tal

«smoked it last year. It was a lonely feeling leaving there.» — el cierre del informe de Nils, que compara con lo fumado el año anterior y llama solitaria la sensación de irse de ahí

«I thought I had gotten really sick. I felt you hovering over me, like I was dying, and you all were trying to resuscitate me. I hoped everything was all right. I was just trying to catch what was happening inside.» — el informe de Nils sobre lo que sintió mientras el equipo lo atendía: creyó estar enfermo y percibió que lo rodeaban como si lo estuvieran reanimando

«We clearly had broken through the "psychedelic threshold." The suddenness and intensity of onset, the irrefutable nature of the experience, the inhabited sense Nils described, all added up to a "full" DMT trip.» — el juicio de Strassman sobre esa sesión: lo súbito y lo intenso del arranque, el carácter irrefutable de lo vivido y el sentido de estar habitado suman un viaje completo

«Nils was a self-acknowledged "hard head," requiring higher doses than many to attain comparable levels of altered perceptions from the same drug.» — Strassman consigna que Nils se reconocía duro de cabeza y necesitaba dosis más altas que otros

«This tendency in our volunteers, to persevere even under the possibility of an annihilating psychedelic experience, was marked. It was most apparent during our tolerance study, which took place the next year, in 1991, in which volunteers received four large doses of DMT, each separated by only 30 minutes. Not one volunteer, no matter how worn out, refused that fourth and final high dose of DMT.» — el rasgo que Strassman mide en el estudio de tolerancia de 1991: ningún voluntario rechazó la cuarta dosis alta, por agotado que estuviera

«Philip's desire to take the same dose as Nils confronted me with a scientific, personal, and ethical dilemma.» — Strassman nombra el dilema que le planteó la insistencia de Philip en recibir la misma dosis

«It was within my authority and responsibility as the principal investigator of the project to tell Philip I did not want him to repeat a Nils-like 0.6 mg/kg DMT experience.» — Strassman consigna que tenía autoridad para negarle la dosis a Philip

«I liked Philip, and he did want his 0.6 mg/kg dose. But how much of a role did our friendship play? I didn't want to do as he requested just so that I wouldn't jeopardize our relationship, but I wanted his participation in this early stage of the study to be worth his while. He was, in some ways, "doing us a favor." Philip lived far from Albuquerque, and asking him to return once more to get 0.6 mg/kg, if 0.4 or 0.5 were not a fullenough dose, would have inconvenienced him. There were many competing priorities. I hoped I made the right decision by agreeing to give Philip 0.6 mg/kg.» — Strassman expone sin resolverlo el peso de la amistad en su decisión, y la deja como esperanza de haber acertado; el troceo parte por guion a fin de renglón y span() une *full-enough* en *fullenough*: el impreso lleva el guion léxico y el verbatim va como lo devuelve la herramienta

«He had taped a poster of Avalokitesvara, the one-thousand-armed Buddhist saint of compassion, on the outside of the closed wooden bathroom door that faced his bed.» — el detalle que Strassman consigna del cuarto de Philip: el póster de Avalokitesvara, a quien el volumen llama santo budista de la compasión de mil brazos

«Philip, fresh from Nils's unnerving session only an hour ago, needed little preparation. He knew what to expect from us while he was lying in his bed under the influence. He had seen that we would help him immediately if he seemed in need of assistance. We wished him luck. He closed his eyes, lay back, took some deep breaths, and said, "I'm ready."» — Strassman describe la disposición de Philip una hora después de la sesión de Nils

«The director of the Research Center laboratory was waiting outside the door. I stepped into the hall, out of earshot from the room. He said that the previous blood samples for DMT analyses were collected incorrectly, and that we needed to change how we did this. I told him we would modify our technique accordingly.» — la interrupción que Strassman narra justo antes de inyectar: el director del laboratorio venía a decir que las muestras de sangre se habían tomado mal

«He seemed unaware of the interruption, having begun the inward turning and letting go that we found allows for the smoothest possible entry into the DMT realms. For him, the trip had already begun.» — Strassman describe el repliegue interior que el equipo halló que permite la entrada más suave a los reinos del DMT

«Halfway through the injection, Philip's breath caught in his throat, sounding like a cough that never quite got out. We quickly learned that whenever this catching in the throat followed a high-dose injection, we were in for a wild ride.» — el signo que el equipo aprendió a leer: el aliento atorado en la garganta tras una dosis alta anunciaba una sesión brava

«His blood pressure rose moderately, but his heart rate jumped to 140 beats per minute, up from his resting level of 65. This increase in pulse is equivalent to that which might occur after racing up three or four flights of stairs. But in this case, Philip hadn't moved an inch.» — el dato fisiológico con que Strassman mide la sesión de Philip: el pulso de 65 a 140 sin que el cuerpo se moviera

«At 1 minute, Philip sat up, looking at Cindy and me with saucer-sized eyes. His pupils were hugely dilated. His movements were automatic, jerky, puppetlike. There seemed to be "no one home" behind Philip's actions.» — Strassman describe los movimientos automáticos y de marioneta de Philip al minuto, y dice que no parecía haber nadie en casa detrás de ellos

«To our relief, he laid back down without prompting or assistance. His skin was cold and clammy, as had been Nils's. His body was in a classic "fight-or-flight" reaction: high blood pressure and heart rate, blood moving from the skin deeper into the vital internal organs, but all while he was performing almost no actual physical activity.» — Strassman clasifica el cuadro de Philip como reacción clásica de lucha o huida sin actividad física

«How beautiful, how beautiful!» — lo que Philip suspira a los diez minutos, en cursiva en el impreso, mientras le corren las lágrimas

«Now that was what you would call a transcendent experience. I died and went to heaven.» — el informe de Philip sobre esa sesión, en cursiva: la llama experiencia trascendente y dice haber muerto y ido al cielo

«It was flying within a vastness. There was no relative space or size.» — el informe de Philip sobre el espacio de la experiencia: un volar dentro de una vastedad sin espacio ni tamaño relativos

«I felt a cold, contracting feeling in my throat. It frightened me. I thought maybe I would stop breathing. The thought, "Let go, surrender, let go," was therefor a split second, then the rush of the drug swept even that away.» — lo que Philip responde cuando Strassman le pregunta por el aliento atorado: miedo a dejar de respirar y un pensamiento de soltar y rendirse que la oleada se llevó. La capa de texto funde therefor donde el impreso pone there for

«Amazingly, these are all the notes I have from that session and the next day's report. This contrasts strikingly with Philip's usually quite eloquent descriptions of his drug sessions. Perhaps his getting through the morning safely was the most important information we needed to learn.» — Strassman consigna lo escaso de su propio registro de esa sesión y lo contrasta con la elocuencia habitual de Philip

«Why were Nils's and Philip's reports so sparse?» — la pregunta con que Strassman abre el examen de por qué los dos informes salieron tan pobres

«One possibility was "state-specific memory." This refers to the phenomenon in which events experienced in an altered state of consciousness can be recalled clearly only upon reentering that state, and not in the normal one.» — la primera explicación que Strassman considera: la memoria dependiente del estado, que solo devuelve lo vivido al reentrar en ese mismo estado

«In Philip's and Nils's cases, this explanation would be likely if they later recalled more of their 0.6 mg/kg sessions while working with lower, more manageable doses of DMT. However, this did not occur to any extent in either man during their subsequent participation in the project.» — Strassman pone a prueba esa explicación con el propio estudio y consigna que no se cumplió en ninguno de los dos

«Another possibility is that Nils and Philip suffered a brief delirium, an "acute organic brain syndrome," or "acute confusional state."» — la segunda explicación que Strassman considera: un delirio breve, que la psiquiatría nombra síndrome cerebral orgánico agudo

«Delirium derives from the Latin de, meaning "from" or "out of," and lira, "a furrow"; literally, "going out of the furrow," or "out of it."» — la etimología con que Strassman glosa el término delirio: salirse del surco

«That is, climbing a ladder to view a scene of unimaginable shock value might throw one into a delirious or confused state, but it is not the ladder but rather the view the ladder provides that is responsible.» — el símil de la escalera con que Strassman distingue el efecto directo de la droga de la reacción a lo que la droga deja ver

«Was what Nils and Philip saw so bizarre, so incomprehensible, so utterly aberrant that their minds simply turned off to spare them from seeing clearly what was there? Maybe it was better to forget.» — la pregunta que Strassman deja abierta: si lo visto fue tan aberrante que la mente se apagó para no verlo

«It was a cosmic blowtorch, a tempest of color, bewildering, like I was thrown overboard into a storm and was spinning out of control, being tossed like a cork.» — el informe posterior de Philip sobre la dosis de 0.6 mg/kg, en cursiva en el impreso: un soplete cósmico y una tempestad de color en que se sintió lanzado por la borda

«Keeping the effects of Philip's and Nils's 0.6 mg/kg sessions in the forefront of our discussion, we decided to make 0.4 mg/kg the top DMT dose for the study.» — la decisión de dosis que Strassman toma con David Nichols tras esas dos sesiones: 0.4 mg/kg como tope del estudio

«"First, do no harm" is the overriding dictum for medicine in general, and even more so for human research. Creating a group of psychically damaged volunteers was not an option.» — el principio médico que Strassman invoca para acotar la dosis, y el límite que se pone: no dejar voluntarios dañados psíquicamente

«Dr. Szara had discovered the psychedelic effects of DMT by injecting it into himself in his laboratory in Budapest, Hungary, in the mid-1950s.» — Strassman adjudica a Stephen Szara el hallazgo de los efectos psicodélicos del DMT, inyectándoselo a sí mismo en Budapest a mediados de los años cincuenta

«During the first phases of human psychedelic research, it was common for the researchers themselves to "go first."» — la costumbre que Strassman consigna de los primeros años de la investigación psicodélica con humanos: el investigador probaba primero

«Yes. They could not remember anything. They could not bring back memories of the experience. The only thing that remained with them was the feeling that something frightening had happened. We did not believe it worthwhile administering those kinds of doses.» — la respuesta de Stephen Szara en su propia voz cuando Strassman le pregunta si alguna vez dio demasiado DMT a sus voluntarios: solo quedaba la sensación de que algo aterrador había ocurrido

«It is fascinating how many of the themes that would emerge over the next five years appeared that December morning when I administered 0.6 mg/ kg IV DMT doses to Philip and Nils. We hear about near-death and spiritual experiences, and contact with "them" in the DMT realms.» — Strassman señala que los temas de los cinco años siguientes ya estaban en aquella mañana de diciembre: experiencias cercanas a la muerte, experiencias espirituales y el contacto con unos ellos

«The drawbacks of the hospital setting and medical model quickly were apparent. The need to give full psychedelic doses was already tempered by an awareness of their potential for negative reactions.» — Strassman consigna dos límites que se hicieron visibles desde el principio: el entorno hospitalario y el modelo médico, y el riesgo de las dosis plenas

«he history of human use of plants, mushrooms, and animals for their psychedelic effects is far older than written history, and probably predates the appearance of the modern human species.» — la tesis con que abre el capítulo primero: el uso humano de plantas, hongos y animales por sus efectos psicodélicos es anterior a la escritura y quizá a la especie. La capitular se pierde en la capa de texto y el renglón arranca en *he history* donde el impreso pone *The history*

«Ronald Siegel and Terence McKenna, for example, suggest that our apelike ancestors imitated other animals by eating things that caused unusual behavior. In this way, they discovered the earliest mind-altering substances.» — según Strassman, Ronald Siegel y Terence McKenna proponen que los ancestros simiescos imitaron a otros animales comiendo lo que les causaba conducta inusual

«There is growing physical evidence that many ancient cultures used psychedelics for their effects on consciousness. Archaeologists have uncovered ancient African images of mushrooms sprouting from a human body, and recent discoveries of prehistoric northern European rock art strongly suggest the influence of psychedelically altered consciousness.» — Strassman enumera la evidencia material que adjudica a la arqueología: imágenes africanas de hongos que brotan de un cuerpo humano y arte rupestre prehistórico del norte de Europa

«Some authors have proposed that language developed out of psychedelically enhanced appreciation of, and associations with, early hominid mouth sounds. Others suggest that psychedelic states formed the basis of humans' earliest awareness of religious experience.» — dos propuestas que Strassman atribuye a otros sin nombrarlos: que el lenguaje salió de una apreciación psicodélica de los sonidos bucales homínidos, y que los estados psicodélicos fundaron la primera conciencia de la experiencia religiosa

«Hundreds of years of anthropological research have demonstrated that these societies used psychedelics to maintain social solidarity, aid the healing arts, and inspire artistic and spiritual creativity.» — según Strassman, la investigación antropológica adjudica a los psicodélicos tres funciones en las sociedades antiguas: sostener la solidaridad social, auxiliar el arte de curar e inspirar la creación artística y espiritual

«Most of what we know about psychedelics comes from investigating chemicals first found in Western Hemisphere materials: DMT, psilocybin, mescaline, and several LSD-like compounds.» — Strassman consigna que casi todo lo sabido sobre psicodélicos viene de materiales del hemisferio occidental: DMT, psilocibina, mescalina y compuestos parecidos al LSD

«The depth and breadth of psychedelic plant use by New World residents surprised and alarmed European settlers. Their reaction may have been due to the relative lack of psychedelic plants and mushrooms in Europe. Just as important was the association of mind-altering substances with witchcraft.» — Strassman adjudica la alarma de los colonos europeos a dos causas: la escasez de plantas psicodélicas en Europa y la asociación de esas sustancias con la brujería

«The Church effectively suppressed information about the use of those materials in both the Old and New Worlds and persecuted bearers and practitioners of that knowledge.» — Strassman adjudica a la Iglesia la supresión de la información sobre esos materiales en los dos mundos y la persecución de quienes los portaban

«It is only in the last fifty years that we have realized that Mexican Indian use of magic mushrooms did not entirely die out in the sixteenth century.» — Strassman fecha en el último medio siglo el saber de que el uso mexicano de los hongos sagrados no se extinguió en el siglo XVI

«German chemists isolated mescaline from peyote in the 1890s. The more literary among those exploring its effects hailed its ability to open the gates of an "artificial paradise."» — Strassman fecha en la década de 1890 el aislamiento de la mescalina del peyote por químicos alemanes, y recoge el paraíso artificial con que los literatos nombraron su efecto

«However, medical and psychiatric interest in mescaline was surprisingly restrained, and researchers published only a limited number of papers by the end of the 1930s. The unpleasant nausea and vomiting that often occur with mescaline may have had something to do with the lack of interest in it.» — Strassman consigna lo limitado del interés médico por la mescalina hasta los años treinta y propone como causa parcial la náusea y el vómito que suele producir

«Freudian psychoanalysis was that era's predominant force in psychiatry. While Freud himself was strongly attracted to mind-altering drugs such as cocaine and tobacco, his students were less so. In addition, Freud distrusted religion and believed spiritual or religious experience was a defense against childish fears and wishes.» — Strassman adjudica a Freud la desconfianza ante la religión y la lectura de la experiencia espiritual como defensa frente a miedos y deseos infantiles

«In 1938 the Swiss chemist Albert Hofmann was working with ergot, a rye fungus, in the natural products division of Sandoz Laboratories, even then a major pharmaceutical company. He hoped to find a drug that might help stop uterine bleeding after childbirth.» — Strassman fecha en 1938 el trabajo de Albert Hofmann con el cornezuelo del centeno en Sandoz y da el propósito buscado: detener la hemorragia uterina del parto

«One of these ergot-based compounds was LSD-25, or lysergic acid diethylamide. It had little effect on the uterus of laboratory animals, and Hofmann shelved it. Five years later, "a curious presentiment" called Hofmann back to examine LSD, and he accidentally discovered its powerful psychedelic properties.» — el relato que Strassman da del hallazgo del LSD: archivado por su poco efecto uterino y recobrado cinco años después por un curioso presentimiento

«The remarkable thing about LSD was that it brought on psychedelic effects at doses of millionths of a gram, which meant that it had more than one thousand times the strength of mescaline.» — el dato con que Strassman mide la potencia del LSD: efectos con millonésimas de gramo, más de mil veces la fuerza de la mescalina

«In fact, Hofmann nearly overdosed himself with what he thought was too small a quantity to possibly be mind-altering: a quarter milligram.» — Strassman consigna que Hofmann casi se sobredosificó con un cuarto de miligramo. La capa de texto escribe Hoffman con dos efes en el renglón siguiente y Hofmann con una en este: las dos grafías quedan tal cual

«Because of the highly altered state of mind LSD produced, and the traditional psychiatric context in which researchers explored it» — Strassman adjudica al estado alterado que producía el LSD y al contexto psiquiátrico tradicional la decisión de los científicos de subrayar sus propiedades imitadoras de psicosis. El tramo se corta donde el troceo reemite la marca de la plana 38 al abrir chunk, a media oración: la frase sigue dentro de la misma plana con *emphasize its psychosis-mimicking properties*

«In addition to LSD, scientists also discovered the "antipsychotic" properties of chlorpromazine, or Thorazine. Thorazine made it possible for severely mentally ill patients to improve enough that they could leave asylums in unprecedented numbers. This and other antipsychotic medications finally allowed doctors to make progress in treating some of our most disabling illnesses.» — Strassman sitúa en los años de posguerra el hallazgo de la clorpromazina y el vaciamiento de los manicomios que siguió

«mind and its brain chemistry, was the child of these two strange bedfellows: LSD and Thorazine. And serotonin was the matchmaker.» — Strassman hace nacer la psiquiatría biológica del encuentro del LSD con la torazina, con la serotonina de casamentera. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana: la oración empieza en la 38 con la definición de la disciplina

«In 1948 researchers discovered that serotonin carried in the bloodstream was responsible for contracting the muscles lining veins and arteries. This was vitally important in understanding how to control the bleeding process.» — Strassman fecha en 1948 el hallazgo de que la serotonina de la sangre contrae los músculos de venas y arterias. La capa de texto imprime *controlling* donde el volumen pone *control*

«The name for serotonin came from the Latin sew, "blood," and tonin, "tightening."» — la etimología que Strassman da de la serotonina; la capa de texto imprime *sew* donde el volumen pone *sero*

«A few years later, in the mid-1950s, investigators discovered serotonin in the brain of laboratory animals. Subsequent experiments demonstrated its precise localization and its effects on electrical and chemical functions of individual nerve cells. Drugs or surgery that modified serotonin-containing areas of an animal's brain profoundly altered sexual and aggressive behavior as well as sleep, wakefulness, and a diverse array of basic biological functions. The presence and function of serotonin in the brain and in animal behavior clinched its role as the first known neurotransmitter.» — Strassman fecha a mediados de los años cincuenta el hallazgo de la serotonina en el cerebro animal y lo que la consagró como primer neurotransmisor conocido

«At the same time, scientists showed that LSD and serotonin molecules looked very much like each other. They then demonstrated that LSD and serotonin competed for many of the same brain sites. In some experimental situations, LSD blocked the effects of serotonin; in others, the psychedelic drug mimicked serotonin's effects.» — Strassman consigna el doble comportamiento medido del LSD frente a la serotonina: en unos casos la bloquea y en otros la imita

«These findings established LSD as the most powerful tool available for learning about brain-mind relationships. If LSD's extraordinary sensory and emotional properties resulted from changing the function of brain serotonin in specific and understandable ways, it might be possible to "chemically dissect" particular mental functions into their basic physiological components.» — la lectura que Strassman hace de esos hallazgos: el LSD como herramienta para disecar químicamente funciones mentales

«Sandoz Laboratories distributed LSD to researchers so they might induce a brief psychotic state in normal volunteers. Scientists hoped such experiments might shed light on naturally occurring psychotic disorders like schizophrenia.» — Strassman consigna el propósito con que Sandoz repartía LSD: inducir psicosis breve en voluntarios sanos para alumbrar la esquizofrenia

«Sandoz also recommended giving LSD to psychiatric interns to help them establish a sense of empathy for their psychotic patients. These young doctors were amazed by this temporary encounter with insanity. The raw encounter with their own previously unconscious memories and feelings led these psychiatrists to believe that these mind-loosening properties might enhance psychotherapy.» — el segundo uso que Strassman adjudica a Sandoz: dar LSD a residentes de psiquiatría para que empatizaran con sus pacientes, de donde salió la idea de usarlo en psicoterapia

«Dozens of scientific articles described remarkable success in helping previously untreatable patients suffering from obsessions and compulsions, post-traumatic stress, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, alcoholism, and heroin dependence.» — Strassman enumera los cuadros en que la literatura reportó éxito con psicoterapia psicodélica, de las obsesiones a la dependencia de heroína

«While there was little effect on the underlying medical conditions, psychedelic psychotherapy in these patients had striking psychological effects. Depression lifted, requirements for pain medication fell dramatically, and patients' acceptance of their disease and its prognosis improved markedly.» — Strassman acota los resultados en enfermos terminales: poco efecto sobre la enfermedad y mucho sobre la depresión, el dolor y la aceptación del pronóstico

«Some therapists believed that a transformative, mystical, or spiritual experience was responsible for many of these "miraculous" responses to psychedelic psychotherapy.» — Strassman consigna la explicación que algunos terapeutas daban de esas respuestas: una experiencia transformadora, mística o espiritual

«In addition, it soon became apparent that the experiences described by volunteers under deep psychedelic influences were strikingly similar to those of practitioners of traditional Eastern meditation.» — Strassman señala el parecido entre lo descrito bajo psicodélicos y lo descrito por practicantes de la meditación oriental tradicional

«Huxley underwent his own remarkably positive mescaline and LSD experiences under the watchful eye of the Canadian psychiatrist Humphrey Osmond, who visited him in Los Angeles in the 1950s.» — Strassman sitúa las sesiones de Aldous Huxley con mescalina y LSD bajo la mirada del psiquiatra canadiense Humphrey Osmond, en Los Ángeles y en los años cincuenta

«Despite that fact that his ideas stimulated a massive movement toward popular experimentation with the psychedelics, Huxley was a staunch advocate of the theory that only an elite group of intellectuals and artists should have access to them. He did not believe that the common man or woman was capable of using psychedelics in the safest and most productive ways possible.» — la restricción que Strassman adjudica a Huxley: solo una élite de intelectuales y artistas debía tener acceso a los psicodélicos. La capa de texto imprime *Despite that fact that* donde el volumen pone *Despite the fact that*

«However, terminal illness studies and discussions of similarities between psychedelic drug effects and mystical experiences brought religion and science together in an uneasy mix. The research was moving further away from Sandoz's original agenda.» — Strassman señala el punto en que la investigación se apartó de la agenda de Sandoz: religión y ciencia mezcladas sin comodidad

«The highly publicized abandonment of scientific research principles by Timothy Leary, Ph.D., and his research team at Harvard University ultimately resulted in their dismissals.» — Strassman consigna el abandono de los principios de investigación por Timothy Leary y su equipo en Harvard y el despido que siguió

«The media exaggerated and emphasized psychedelic drugs' negative physical and psychological effects. Some of these reports resulted from poor research; others were simply fabricated.» — Strassman adjudica a la prensa la exageración de los efectos negativos y dice que parte de esos reportes fueron fabricados

«In order to address these concerns in my own study, I read every paper describing such negative effects and published the results.» — el método con que Strassman dice haber tratado las reacciones adversas antes de su propio estudio: leyó cada trabajo publicado sobre ellas y publicó el resultado

«It was clear that rates of psychiatric complications were extraordinarily low in controlled research settings, for both normal volunteers and psychiatric patients. However, when psychiatrically ill or unstable individuals took impure or unknown psychedelics, combined with alcohol and other drugs, in an uncontrolled setting with inadequate supervision, problems occurred.» — el resultado de esa revisión en palabras de Strassman: las complicaciones psiquiátricas son rarísimas en entornos controlados, y los problemas aparecen con sustancias impuras, mezcla de alcohol y otras drogas y supervisión inadecuada

«In response to the public's anxiety about uncontrolled LSD use, and over the objections of nearly every investigator in the field, the United States Congress passed a law in 1970 making LSD and other psychedelics illegal.» — Strassman fecha en 1970 la ley del Congreso de los Estados Unidos que ilegalizó el LSD y los demás psicodélicos, y consigna que se hizo sobre la objeción de casi todos los investigadores del campo

«With the new drug laws in place, interest in human psychedelic research died off almost as rapidly as it had begun. It was as if the psychedelic drugs became "un-discovered."» — la figura con que Strassman describe lo que siguió: los psicodélicos quedaron como desdescubiertos

«By the time I was a medical student in the mid-1970s, less than ten years after the drug laws changed, psychedelics were the topic of just two lectures in my four years of study.» — Strassman mide con su propia formación el olvido académico: dos clases sobre psicodélicos en cuatro años de carrera

«I taught a psychedelic drug research seminar to senior psychiatric residents at the University of New Mexico—probably the only one of its kind in the country in decades.» — Strassman consigna su seminario a residentes de psiquiatría en la Universidad de Nuevo México a mediados de los años noventa, y lo da como probablemente el único del país en décadas

«Instead, their study went through a highly unnatural evolution. They began as "wonder drugs," turned into "horror drugs," then became nothing.» — la fórmula con que Strassman resume la evolución del campo: drogas milagro, drogas de horror, nada

«I believe that medical students and psychiatric trainees learn so little about psychedelic drugs not because research did end, but because of how it ended. This process deeply demoralized academic psychiatry, which then turned its back on psychedelic drugs.» — la tesis de Strassman sobre la causa del olvido: no es que la investigación terminara, sino cómo terminó, y la desmoralización que dejó en la psiquiatría académica

«The most powerful members of their profession discovered that science, data, and reason were incapable of defending their research against the enactment of repressive laws fueled by opinion, emotion, and the media.» — Strassman consigna lo que aprendieron los investigadores más poderosos del campo: la ciencia y la razón no bastaron frente a leyes movidas por la opinión, la emoción y la prensa

«Biology-based psychiatrists had little patience with colleagues who "found religion" and touted the spiritual effects of these drugs. These latter researchers viewed their brain-only associates as narrow-minded and repressed.» — Strassman describe la escisión dentro de la psiquiatría: los biologicistas contra los que hablaban de efectos espirituales, y el desprecio mutuo

«Psychiatry has never been especially comfortable with spiritual issues, and in fact, an entirely new division appeared in the field to contend with results from psychedelic research: the "transpersonal" area of theory and practice.» — Strassman adjudica al malestar de la psiquiatría con lo espiritual la aparición de la corriente transpersonal

«Psychedelics exert their effects by a complex blending of three factors: set, setting, and drug.» — la fórmula de tres términos con que Strassman ordena todo el libro

«Set is our own makeup, both long term and immediate.» — la definición de *set* con que Strassman abre: lo que uno es, de largo y de corto plazo. El troceo reemite aquí la marca de la plana 44 al abrir chunk y corta la frase, que sigue dentro de la misma plana

«our present, and our potential future; our preferences, ideas, habits, and feelings. Set also includes our body and brain.» — la continuación de la definición de *set* tras el corte: el presente y el futuro posible, las preferencias, las ideas, los hábitos y los sentimientos, con el cuerpo y el cerebro dentro

«The psychedelic experience also hinges on setting: who or what is or isn't in our immediate surroundings; the environment we're in, whether natural or urban, indoor or outdoor; the quality of the air and ambient sound around us; and so on. Setting also partakes of the set of who is with us while we take the drug, whether they be a friend or a stranger, relaxed or tense, a supportive guide or a probing scientist.» — la definición de *setting* que da Strassman, que incluye el *set* de quien acompaña

«Even if we agree to call it a drug, look at how many different names it has: hallucinogen (producing hallucinations), entheogen (generating the divine), mysticomimetic (mimicking mystical states), oneirogen (producing dreams), phanerothyme (producing visible feelings), phantasticant (stimulating fantasy), psychodysleptic (mind-disturbing), psychotomimetic and psychotogen (mimicking or producing psychosis, respectively), and psychotoxin and schizotoxin (a poison causing psychosis or schizophrenia, respectively).» — la lista entera de nombres que Strassman levanta para la misma clase de sustancia, con la glosa de cada uno: alucinógeno, enteógeno, misticomimético, oniroógeno, fanerótimo, fantasticante, psicodisléptico, psicotomimético, psicotógeno, psicotoxina y esquizotoxina

«This focus on name is not trivial. If everyone agreed about what a psychedelic is or does, there certainly would not be so many words for the same drug. The multitude of labels reflects the deep-seated and ongoing debate about psychedelic drugs and their effects.» — Strassman sostiene que la multiplicidad de nombres no es trivial: mide el desacuerdo de fondo sobre qué son y qué hacen estas sustancias

«These experiments injected volunteers with adrenaline, the "fight-or-flight" hormone, under different sets of expectations. Adrenaline caused a calm and relaxed state in volunteers told they were receiving a sedative. If told that the experimental drug was stimulating, volunteers felt the more typical anxiety and energy.» — el experimento de los años sesenta con que Strassman ilustra el peso de la expectativa: la misma adrenalina calma o agita según lo que se le diga al voluntario

«Thus, what we call a drug we take, or give, influences our expectations of what that drug will do. It also modifies the effects themselves, and how we interpret and deal with them. No other drug's name feeds back so powerfully upon the responses they elicit as do the psychedelics, because they greatly magnify our suggestibility.» — la tesis que Strassman saca de ahí: ningún otro nombre de droga realimenta tanto la respuesta como el de los psicodélicos, porque magnifican la sugestionabilidad

«In addition to what we call psychedelics, the terms we apply to the people involved in their use also impact set and setting, and therefore drug response. As one who takes the drug, are we research subjects or volunteers? Clients or celebrants? As the one giving them, are we guides, sitters, or research investigators? Shamans or scientists?» — las parejas de términos con que Strassman muestra que el nombre del papel también modifica el efecto: sujeto de investigación o voluntario, cliente o celebrante, guía o investigador, chamán o científico

«Try this mental exercise: Consider how you might look forward to your day as a "research subject" under the influence of a "psychotomimetic agent." Then reconsider: How would you feel about your role as a "celebrant" in a "ceremony" involving an "entheogenic sacrament"? How would these different contexts affect your interpretation of the hallucinations and intense mood swings brought on by the drug? Would you be "going crazy" or having an "enlightenment experience"?» — el ejercicio con que Strassman pide al lector medir el peso del marco: el mismo día vivido como sujeto bajo un agente psicotomimético o como celebrante de un sacramento enteogénico

«You might encourage an "out-of-body experience" in a "shamanic" context, but abort the same effects by giving an antipsychotic antidote in a "psychotomimetic" one.» — el caso con que Strassman muestra que el marco decide la conducta del que administra: alentar la salida del cuerpo en un contexto chamánico y abortarla con un antipsicótico en uno psicotomimético

«Hallucinogen is the most common medical term for psychedelic drugs, and it emphasizes the perceptual, mostly visual effects of these drugs. However, while perceptual effects of psychedelics are usual, they are not the only effects, nor are they necessarily the most valued.» — Strassman consigna que alucinógeno es el término médico más común y acota su alcance: lo perceptual es lo habitual pero no lo único ni lo más apreciado

«I prefer the term psychedelic, or mind-manifesting, over hallucinogen. Psychedelics show you what's in and on your mind, those subconscious thoughts and feelings that are are hidden, covered up, forgotten, out of sight, maybe even completely unexpected, but nevertheless imminently present.» — la elección de término que Strassman declara y la razón: lo psicodélico manifiesta la mente, esos pensamientos y sentimientos subconscientes que están tapados y aun así presentes. La capa de texto repite *are are*

«Psychedelic has taken on its own cultural and linguistic life. It now can refer to a particular style of art, clothing, or even an especially intense set of circumstances. When it comes to rational discourse about drugs, psychedelic also stirs up powerful 1960s-based emotions and conflicts over unrelated political and sociological issues.» — Strassman consigna la carga cultural del término psicodélico, que remite a un estilo y remueve los conflictos políticos de los años sesenta

«I will take my chances, however, and use it throughout this book. I think it is the best term we have. I hope not to offend anyone who finds the word objectionable.» — Strassman asume el riesgo del término y se disculpa de antemano con quien lo halle objetable

«There are two main chemical families of psychedelic drugs: the phenethylamines and the tryptamines.» — la división química con que Strassman ordena el campo: fenetilaminas y triptaminas

«The best-known phenethylamine is mescaline, which is derived from the peyote cactus of the American Southwest. Another famous phenethylamine is MDMA, or "Ecstasy."» — Strassman nombra las dos fenetilaminas conocidas: la mescalina del peyote del suroeste estadounidense y el MDMA o éxtasis

«The other main chemical family of psychedelic drugs is the tryptamines. These all possess a nucleus, or basic building block, of tryptamine. Tryptamine is a derivative of tryptophan, an amino acid present in our diet.» — Strassman define la segunda familia química: las triptaminas, derivadas del triptófano de la dieta

«Serotonin is a tryptamine—5-hydroxy-tryptamine, to be exact—but it is not psychedelic. It contains one more oxygen atom than does tryptamine.» — la precisión con que Strassman deslinda la serotonina de los psicodélicos: es triptamina y no es psicodélica, y le sobra un átomo de oxígeno

«DMT is also a tryptamine and is the simplest psychedelic. Simply add two methyl groups to the tryptamine molecule and the result is "di-methyl-tryptamine": DMT.» — Strassman define el DMT como el psicodélico más simple y da su composición: dos grupos metilo sobre la triptamina; la llamada de nota va pegada a la sigla tal como la imprime la capa de texto

«The "grandfather" of all modern psychedelics, LSD, contains a tryptamine core, as does ibogaine, the African psychedelic with highly publicized anti-addictive properties.» — Strassman llama abuelo de los psicodélicos modernos al LSD por su núcleo de triptamina, y pone ahí también a la ibogaína africana con sus propiedades antiadictivas

«One of the best-known tryptamine psychedelics is psilocybin, the active ingredient of "magic mushrooms."» — Strassman identifica la psilocibina como principio activo de los hongos mágicos

«When these mushrooms are ingested, the body removes a phosphorous atom from the psilocybin, converting it to psilocin.» — Strassman describe la conversión de psilocibina en psilocina al ingerir los hongos

«Psilocin differs from DMT by only one oxygen. I like to think of psilocybin/psilocin as "orally active DMT."» — la equivalencia que Strassman propone: la psilocibina y la psilocina como DMT activo por vía oral

«Many of the plants, fungi, and animals containing DMT also possess 5-MeO-DMT. As with DMT, those who use 5-MeO-DMT usually smoke it.» — Strassman consigna que el 5-MeO-DMT acompaña al DMT en muchas plantas, hongos y animales, y que suele fumarse

«DMT and 5-MeO-DMT effects are remarkably rapid in onset and brief in duration. We gave DMT through a vein, or intravenously, in which case volunteers felt it within several heartbeats. They were "highest" at 1 to 2 minutes and were "back to normal" within 20 to 30 minutes.» — los tiempos que Strassman mide en su propio estudio: efecto a los pocos latidos, cumbre al minuto o dos y regreso a los veinte o treinta minutos

«LSD, mescaline, and ibogaine are longer-acting. Effects begin 30 to 60 minutes after swallowing them. The effects of LSD and mescaline may last 12 hours, ibogaine up to 24 hours. Psilocybin effects are slightly shorter; they begin within 30 minutes and last 4 to 6 hours.» — la tabla de duraciones con que Strassman contrasta el DMT con los psicodélicos largos

«Another more basic aspect of pharmacology is "mechanism of action," or how drugs affect brain activity. This is a crucial issue, because it is by altering brain function that psychedelics change consciousness.» — Strassman fija por qué el mecanismo de acción es la cuestión decisiva: es alterando la función cerebral como los psicodélicos cambian la consciencia

«The earliest psychopharmacological experiments in humans and animals suggested that LSD, mescaline, DMT, and other psychedelic drugs exerted their primary effects on the brain's serotonin system. Animal research, in contrast to human studies, has continued over the last thirty years and has established conclusively this neurotransmitter's crucial role.» — Strassman consigna que la investigación animal ha seguido treinta años donde la humana se detuvo, y que ella fijó el papel de la serotonina

«We now believe that psychedelics mimic the effects of serotonin in some cases and block them in others. Researchers are now concerned with determining which of the twenty or so different types of serotonin receptors psychedelics attach to.» — el estado de la cuestión en voz de Strassman, con verbo de creencia: los psicodélicos imitan a la serotonina en unos casos y la bloquean en otros

«It is important to remember that while we understand a great deal about the pharmacology of psychedelics, we know nearly nothing about how changes in brain chemistry directly relate to subjective, or inner, experience. This is as true for psychedelics as it is for Prozac.» — la reserva central de Strassman sobre la farmacología: se sabe mucho de ella y casi nada de cómo el cambio químico se vuelve experiencia interior

«We don't "feel" a serotonin receptor blockade; rather, we feel ecstasy. We don't "see" frontal lobe activation; instead, we observe angels or demons.» — la fórmula con que Strassman marca la distancia entre el dato neuroquímico y lo vivido

«It is impossible to predict accurately what will happen after taking a psychedelic drug on any particular day. Nevertheless, we will generalize about their subjective effects because we must gain a sense of a "typical" response. We can do this by averaging all of our own and others' experiences, all of the "trips" that have gone before us.» — Strassman declara imposible predecir el efecto de un psicodélico en un día dado y explica cómo construye el efecto típico: promediando los viajes anteriores

«The following descriptions do not apply to "mild" psychedelics such as MDMA or usual-strength marijuana, nor do they describe responses to low doses of psychedelics, for which effects are similar to those of other non-psychedelic drugs, like amphetamine.» — Strassman acota a qué no se aplica su descripción: a los psicodélicos suaves ni a las dosis bajas

«Psychedelics affect all of our mental functions: perception, emotion, thinking, body awareness, and our sense of self.» — la lista de funciones mentales que Strassman da por afectadas: percepción, emoción, pensamiento, conciencia del cuerpo y sentido de sí

«Perceptual or sensory effects often, but not always, are primary. Objects in our field of vision appear brighter or duller, larger or smaller, and seem to be shifting shape and melting. Eyes closed or open, we see things that have little to do with the outside world: swirling, colorful, geometric cloud patterns, or well-formed images of both animate and inanimate objects, in various conditions of motion or activity.» — la descripción de los efectos perceptivos: objetos que cambian de brillo, tamaño y forma, y con los ojos abiertos o cerrados figuras geométricas y formas animadas e inanimadas

«Our emotions overflow or dry up. Anxiety or fear, pleasure or relaxation, all feelings wax and wane, overpoweringly intense or frustratingly absent. At the extremes lie terror or ecstasy.» — la descripción de los efectos emocionales por pares opuestos, con el terror y el éxtasis en los extremos

«The significance of things takes on more importance than the things themselves. Time collapses: in the blink of an eye, two hours pass. Or time expands: a minute contains a never-ending march of sensations and ideas.» — lo que Strassman señala del pensamiento bajo psicodélicos: el significado pesa más que las cosas, y el tiempo se colapsa o se expande

«Our bodies are hot or cold, heavy or light; our limbs grow or shrink; we move upward or downward through space. We feel the body no longer exists, or that the mind and body have separated.» — la descripción del cambio de la conciencia corporal, hasta la sensación de que el cuerpo no existe o de que mente y cuerpo se separaron

«Psychedelics affect every aspect of our consciousness. It is this unique consciousness that separates our species from all others below, and that gives us access to what we consider the divine above.» — la tesis con que Strassman cierra el recuento: los psicodélicos tocan la consciencia, que es lo que separa a la especie de lo de abajo y le da acceso a lo divino de arriba

«Maybe that's another reason why the psychedelics are so frightening and so inspiring: They bend and stretch the basic pillars, the structure and defining characteristics, of our human identity.» — la explicación que Strassman propone del miedo y la inspiración que despiertan: doblan y estiran los pilares de la identidad humana

«They ushered in the modern era of biological psychiatry, and their highly publicized abuse prematurely ended an extraordinarily rich human research endeavor.» — el balance con que Strassman cierra el capítulo primero: inauguraron la psiquiatría biológica moderna y su abuso publicitado cortó antes de tiempo una investigación riquísima

«It was into this seething matrix of conflict, ambivalence, and controversy that I looked for a point of traction and a clear line of sight in order to formulate my own research agenda.» — Strassman sitúa su propia agenda dentro de esa matriz de conflicto y ambivalencia

«Out of this virtual swamp emerged one small obscure molecule: DMT. Its call was one I could not ignore, even though I had little idea of how I might get to it. Nor could I possibly expect where it would lead me once I found it.» — el cierre del capítulo primero: de ese pantano emerge el DMT como la molécula que Strassman no pudo ignorar

«N-dimethyltryptamine, or DMT, is the remarkable main character of this book. While chemically simple, this "spirit" molecule provides our consciousness access to the most amazing and unexpected visions, thoughts, and feelings. It throws open the door to worlds beyond our imagination.» — la presentación del DMT como personaje principal del libro: la molécula del espíritu que abre la puerta a mundos fuera de la imaginación. La capa de texto arranca en *N-dimethyltryptamine* donde el impreso pone la capitular de *N,N-dimethyltryptamine*

«DMT exists in all of our bodies and occurs throughout the plant and animal kingdoms. It is a part of the normal makeup of humans and other mammals; marine animals; grasses and peas; toads and frogs; mushrooms and molds; and barks, flowers, and roots.» — Strassman consigna la ubicuidad del DMT: está en el cuerpo humano y en los reinos vegetal y animal, de los mamíferos marinos a las cortezas y las raíces

«Psychedelic alchemist Alexander Shulgin devotes an entire chapter to DMT in TIHKAL: Tryptamines I Have Known and Loved. He aptly entitles this chapter "DMT Is Everywhere" and declares: "DMT is . . . in this flower here, in that tree over there, and in yonder animal. [It] is, most simply, almost everywhere you choose to look.» — según Strassman, Alexander Shulgin, a quien llama alquimista psicodélico, dedica al DMT un capítulo entero de TIHKAL titulado DMT Is Everywhere, y ahí declara que está casi dondequiera que uno mire

«Indeed, it is getting to the point where one should report where DMT is not found, rather than where it is.» — la vuelta de tuerca de Strassman sobre esa ubicuidad: convendría reportar dónde no se halla DMT

«DMT is most abundant in plants of Latin America. There, humans have known of its amazing properties for some tens of thousands of years.» — Strassman sitúa la abundancia del DMT en las plantas de América Latina y da por milenaria la relación humana con sus propiedades

«Beginning in the mid-1800s, explorers of the Amazon, particularly Richard Spruce from England and Alexander von Humboldt from Germany, described the effects of exotic mind-altering snuffs and brews prepared from plants by indigenous tribes.» — Strassman nombra a Richard Spruce y a Alexander von Humboldt como los primeros en describir los rapés y brebajes amazónicos

«In the twentieth century, the American botanist Richard Schultes continued this dangerous yet exciting line of fieldwork. Especially striking were the effects of, and the manner of administering, the psychoactive snuffs.» — Strassman pone al botánico Richard Schultes como continuador de ese trabajo de campo en el siglo XX

«Latin American indigenous tribes continue to use these snuffs and have given them many names, including yopo, epena, and jurema. They take huge doses, sometimes an ounce or more. One dramatic technique is for one's snuffing partner to blow the powdery mixtures with considerable force through a tube or pipe into the other's nose. The energy of the blast may be sufficient to drop the recipient to the ground.» — Strassman consigna los nombres indígenas de los rapés, yopo, epena y jurema, y la técnica de soplarlos con fuerza por un tubo en la nariz del otro

«Spruce and von Humboldt reported that natives were immediately incapacitated by these psychedelic snuffs. Neither, however, went so far as to see for themselves what they were like. It was enough to watch the intoxicated Indians, twitching, vomiting, and babbling incoherently.» — Strassman acota el testimonio de Spruce y von Humboldt: describieron los efectos sin probarlos ellos mismos

«These early explorers heard tales of fantastic visions, "out-of-body travel," predictions of the future, location of lost objects, and contact with dead ancestors or other disembodied entities.» — lo que según Strassman oyeron aquellos exploradores: visiones, viaje fuera del cuerpo, predicción del futuro, localización de objetos perdidos y contacto con los muertos y con otras entidades sin cuerpo

«Another plant mixture, this one consumed as a beverage, seemed to produce similar effects at a slower pace. This brew also went by several names, including ayahuasca and yage. This drink inspired much rock art and paintings drawn on the walls of native shelters—what would be called "psychedelic" art today.» — Strassman introduce la ayahuasca, también llamada yagé, y le adjudica la inspiración del arte rupestre y mural de los refugios indígenas

«While psychedelic plants languished in natural history museum archives, Canadian chemist R. Manske, in unrelated research, synthesized a new drug called N,N-dimethyltryptamine, or DMT. As he described in a 1931 scientific article, Manske had made several compounds derived by chemically modifying tryptamine. He was interested in these products because they occurred in a toxic North American plant, the strawberry shrub.» — Strassman adjudica al químico canadiense R. Manske la síntesis del DMT, descrita en un artículo de 1931, a partir del interés por un arbusto tóxico norteamericano

«As far as anyone knows, Manske made DMT, noted its structure, and then placed his supply in some isolated corner of his laboratory, where it quietly collected dust. No one yet knew about DMT's existence in mind-altering plants, its psychedelic properties, or its presence in the human body.» — Strassman consigna que el DMT quedó guardado y olvidado: nadie sabía aún de su presencia en plantas psicoactivas, de su efecto psicodélico ni de su presencia en el cuerpo humano

«In the early 1950s, the discoveries of LSD and serotonin rocked the staid foundations of Freudian psychiatry and laid the groundwork for the new world of neuroscience.» — Strassman sitúa a comienzos de los años cincuenta el sacudimiento de la psiquiatría freudiana por el LSD y la serotonina

«In 1946, 0. Gongalves isolated DMT from a South American tree used for psychedelic snuffs and published his findings in Spanish.» — Strassman fecha en 1946 el aislamiento del DMT de un árbol sudamericano; la capa de texto imprime el nombre como *0. Gongalves*, con cero por o y ge por ce cedilla, donde el volumen pone Gonçalves

«In 1955, M. S. Fish, N. M. Johnson, and E. C. Horning published the first English-language paper describing DMT's presence in another closely related snuff-producing tree.» — Strassman fecha en 1955 el primer artículo en inglés sobre la presencia de DMT en otro árbol usado para rapés

«However, although they knew that DMT was a constituent of plants that produced psychedelic effects, scientists didn't know if DMT itself was psychoactive.» — la acotación de Strassman: saber que el DMT estaba en plantas psicodélicas no probaba que el DMT mismo fuera psicoactivo

«In the 1950s, Hungarian chemist and psychiatrist Stephen Szara read about the profoundly mind-altering effects of LSD and mescaline. He ordered some LSD from Sandoz Laboratories so he could begin his own studies into the chemistry of consciousness. Since Szara was behind the Iron Curtain, the Swiss drug company was unwilling to risk letting their» — Strassman cuenta por qué Szara acabó en el DMT: Sandoz le negó el LSD por estar del otro lado de la Cortina de Hierro. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la oración termina en la 60

«Undaunted, he looked up recent papers describing DMT's presence in psychedelic Amazonian snuffs. He then synthesized some DMT in his Budapest laboratory in 1955.» — Strassman fecha en 1955 la síntesis de DMT por Szara en su laboratorio de Budapest

«Szara swallowed ever-increasing doses of DMT, but felt nothing. He tried taking up to one full gram, hundreds of thousands of times more than an active dose of LSD. He wondered whether something in his gastrointestinal system was preventing oral DMT from working. Maybe it needed to be injected. His hunch predated the later discovery that there is a mechanism in the gut that breaks down oral DMT as quickly as it is swallowed—a mechanism South American natives found a way to bypass thousands of years ago.» — Strassman narra el fracaso de Szara por vía oral y su corazonada, que anticipó el hallazgo del mecanismo intestinal que degrada el DMT ingerido y que los pueblos sudamericanos aprendieron a sortear

«In the spirit of "who goes first," Szara gave himself an intramuscular, or IM, injection of DMT in 1956. In this case, he used about half of what we now know to be a "full" dose:» — Strassman fecha en 1956 la autoinyección intramuscular de Szara, con cerca de la mitad de lo que hoy se tiene por dosis plena

«In three or four minutes I started to experience visual sensations that were very similar to what I had read in descriptions by Hofmann [about LSD] and Huxley [about mescaline]. . . . I got very, very excited. It was obvious this was the secret.» — el informe de Szara sobre su primera inyección, en su propia voz: reconoce lo leído en Hofmann sobre el LSD y en Huxley sobre la mescalina, y dice que era obvio que ese era el secreto. Los corchetes del volumen son del propio libro

«Szara quickly recruited thirty volunteers, mostly young Hungarian physician colleagues. They all received full psychedelic doses.» — Strassman consigna el reclutamiento de Szara: treinta voluntarios, casi todos médicos jóvenes húngaros, todos con dosis psicodélicas plenas

«The whole world is brilliant.... The whole room is filled with spirits. It makes me dizzy.... Now it is too much!... I feel exactly as if I were flying. . . . I have the feeling that this is above everything, above the earth. It is comforting to know I am back on earth again. . . . Everything has a spiritual tinge but is so real. . . . I feel that I have landed.» — el informe de un médico varón del estudio de Szara, en su propia voz: el cuarto lleno de espíritus, la sensación de volar y la de haber aterrizado de vuelta

«How simple everything is. .. . In front of me are two quiet, sunlit Gods. . . . I think they are welcoming me into this new world. There is a deep silence as in the desert. . . . I am finally at home. . . . Dangerous game; it would be so easy not to return. I am faintly aware that I am a doctor, but this is not important; family ties, studies, plans, and memories are very remote from me. Only this world is important; I am free and utterly alone.» — el informe de una médica del estudio de Szara, en su propia voz: dos dioses quietos y soleados que la reciben, un silencio de desierto, la advertencia de que sería fácil no volver y el saberse libre y del todo sola

«The Western world had discovered DMT, and DMT had entered into its consciousness.» — la frase con que Strassman cierra el episodio húngaro

«Despite the occasional bad trip among his volunteers, Szara liked the short-acting DMT. It was relatively easy to use, fully psychedelic, and experiments could be done in just a few hours.» — Strassman da las razones por las que Szara prefería el DMT: fácil de usar, plenamente psicodélico y de experimento corto

«While he found the effects interesting, its twelve-hour duration was too long for his liking.» — Strassman consigna el juicio de Szara sobre el LSD cuando al fin pudo probarlo en Berlín: interesante pero demasiado largo

«He served as the Director of Preclinical Research at the National Institute on Drug Abuse for many years before retiring in 1991.» — Strassman cierra la biografía de Szara en el National Institute on Drug Abuse, del que se retiró en 1991

«For example, after Szara left Hungary, his former laboratory reported only that DMT in normal volunteers caused "a [psychotic] state ... dominated by colored hallucinations, loss of time and space reality, euphoria, some delusional experiences and sometimes by anxiety and clouding of consciousness.» — la única descripción que, según Strassman, dio el antiguo laboratorio de Szara de los efectos del DMT en voluntarios sanos; los corchetes son del volumen

«One of the busiest American centers for human psychedelic research was the Public Health Service Hospital in Lexington, Kentucky. There, men serving prison sentences for narcotic law violations received dozens of mind-altering drugs, hoping their research participation might lead to more favorable treatment.» — Strassman consigna qué era el hospital del Servicio de Salud Pública de Lexington, Kentucky: presos por delitos de narcóticos que recibían decenas de drogas con la esperanza de un trato más favorable

«Even less revealing were studies at the U.S. National Institute of Mental Health. Here, a group of research subjects with experience using psychedelics needed only to provide a number indicating "how high" they were on a full dose of DMT. The authors do comment, however, that most of these seasoned volunteers were "higher than they had ever been.» — Strassman mide la pobreza del registro en el NIMH: a los sujetos solo se les pedía un número de qué tan elevados estaban

«The "psychedelic subculture" discovered DMT soon after the research community did, but the earliest reports of its effects earned it the title of a "terror drug."» — Strassman consigna el mote con que la subcultura psicodélica bautizó al DMT por sus primeros reportes

«William Burroughs, author of The Naked Lunch, was one of the earliest field users of DMT. Burroughs's and his British colleagues' encounters with it were unpleasant.» — Strassman nombra a William Burroughs, autor de The Naked Lunch, como uno de los primeros usuarios de campo del DMT

«Leary relates Burroughs's tale of a psychiatrist and his friend who injected DMT together in a London apartment. The friend began panicking and, to the psychiatrist, appeared to transform into a "writhing, wiggling reptile." "The doctor's dilemma: where to make an intravenous injection [of an antidote] in a squirming, orientalmartian snake?» — según Strassman, Leary refiere el relato de Burroughs sobre el psiquiatra que vio a su amigo transformarse en un reptil que se retorcía y no supo dónde inyectarle el antídoto

«This is as good an example of the power of a negative set and setting as there is: two people high on injected DMT in a seedy flat at the same time, one being responsible for the other. "Terror" drug, indeed.» — la lectura que Strassman hace de ese episodio: no es propiedad de la molécula sino del *set* y el *setting*

«individuals thought it possible to take DMT during lunch, and so it gained the dubious nickname, "businessman's trip."» — el apodo que Strassman consigna, viaje del hombre de negocios, ganado por la brevedad del efecto. El tramo arranca tras el cruce de plana: la oración empieza en la 62

«This all changed, however, when researchers discovered DMT in the brains of mice and rats, and then uncovered the pathways by which these animals' bodies made this powerful psychedelic.» — Strassman fija el punto de giro: el hallazgo de DMT en cerebros de ratones y ratas y de las vías por las que esos cuerpos lo fabrican

«In 1965 a research team from Germany published a paper in the flagship British science journal Nature announcing that they had isolated DMT from human blood.» — Strassman fecha en 1965 el anuncio, en Nature, del aislamiento de DMT en sangre humana por un equipo alemán

«In 1972 Nobel-prize winning scientist Julius Axelrod of the U.S. National Institutes of Health reported finding it in human brain tissue.» — Strassman fecha en 1972 el hallazgo de DMT en tejido cerebral humano por Julius Axelrod

«It was not long before scientists discovered the pathways, similar to those in lower animals, by which the human body made DMT. DMT thus became the first endogenous human psychedelic.» — la afirmación que ordena todo el libro: el DMT es el primer psicodélico humano endógeno

«Endogenous means that a compound is made in the body: endo, "within," and genous, "generated" or "formed." Endogenous DMT, then, is DMT made within the body.» — la glosa etimológica con que Strassman define endógeno

«However, the discovery of DMT in the human body stimulated much less fanfare than did that of endorphins. As we will see later in this chapter, anti-psychedelic-drug sentiment sweeping the country at the time actually turned researchers against studying endogenous DMT. The discoverers of endorphins, in contrast, won Nobel Prizes.» — el contraste que Strassman traza: el hallazgo del DMT endógeno se recibió con poco ruido mientras los descubridores de las endorfinas ganaban premios Nobel, y el clima antipsicodélico apartó a los investigadores del asunto

«The crucial question then naturally arose: "What is DMT doing in our bodies?" Psychiatry's answer was: "Perhaps it causes mental illness."» — la pregunta que Strassman pone en el centro y la respuesta que adjudica a la psiquiatría de entonces

«By limiting themselves to investigating DMT's role in psychosis, scientists lost a unique opportunity to probe deeper into the mysteries of consciousness.» — la objeción de Strassman a esa respuesta: reducir el DMT a la psicosis costó la ocasión de sondear la consciencia

«Scientists believed that LSD and other "psychotomimetics" induced a short-term "model psychosis" in normal volunteers. They thought that by finding an "endogenous psychotomimetic," the cause of, and potential cures for, serious mental illnesses might be at hand. DMT, as the first known endogenous psychotomimetic, suggested the search might be over.» — Strassman expone el razonamiento de la época: hallado un psicotomimético endógeno, la causa y la cura de la enfermedad mental parecían al alcance

«These DMT investigations just were getting up to speed when, in 1970, Congress passed the law placing it and other psychedelics into a highly restricted legal category. It became nearly impossible to conduct any new human DMT research.» — Strassman fecha en 1970 el cierre legal que volvió casi imposible investigar el DMT en humanos

«Like any good scientific theory, the DMT model of schizophrenia will ultimately live or die by the data that it heuristically generates. We hope that, within the foreseeable future, forthcoming data will give this theory either a new lease on life or a decent burial.» — la conclusión del artículo del NIMH de 1976 que, según Strassman, tocó a muerto por los estudios de DMT en humanos, en la voz de sus autores

«Was DMT buried alive by those whose careers and reputations were endangered by a controversial area of research? The DMT-psychosis field was no different from any other biological psychiatry research endeavor investigating complex and uncertain relationships between the mind and brain. Encouraging its abandonment appears to have been as much politically as scientifically motivated.» — la pregunta que Strassman deja planteada sobre el entierro del campo, y su juicio de que el abandono fue tan político como científico

«In general, there were two types of studies investigating the DMT-psychosis theory. One compared blood levels of DMT between ill patients and normal volunteers. The other study design compared the subjective effects of psychedelic drugs to those of naturally occurring psychotic states.» — Strassman ordena en dos los diseños con que se ensayó la teoría del DMT y la psicosis

«Essentially all DMT studies measured its concentration in blood drawn from forearm veins. However, it seems unreasonable to expect these levels to accurately reflect DMT's function in extraordinarily small, highly specialized, distinct brain areas.» — la objeción metodológica de Strassman: medir DMT en sangre del antebrazo no dice lo que hace en áreas cerebrales pequeñas y especializadas

«Dozens of studies have failed to convincingly relate serotonin levels in blood drawn from the forearm to psychiatric diagnoses with presumed abnormalities in brain serotonin. Therefore, it was unlikely, using DMT blood levels, that any real conclusions could be drawn regarding differences between normal and psychotic individuals. If psychiatric researchers demand such data for all brain chemicals, where is the call to bury serotonin?» — el argumento con que Strassman devuelve la objeción: con la serotonina pasa lo mismo y a nadie se le ocurre enterrarla

«Stuck in the quicksand of trying to prove its role in schizophrenia, and trampled underfoot in the stampede of anti-psychedelic sentiments, no one studying DMT dared continue asking the most obvious and pressing question, which the first round of human research had failed to address. It was a riddle I could not ignore: "What is DMT doing in our bodies?» — Strassman formula el acertijo que dejó sin responder la primera ronda de investigación: qué hace el DMT en el cuerpo

«Its weight is 188 "molecular units," meaning that it is not significantly larger than glucose, the simplest sugar in our bodies, which weighs 180, and only ten times heavier than a water molecule, which weighs 18.» — los pesos moleculares con que Strassman mide lo pequeño del DMT frente a la glucosa y al agua

«There, sites rich in these DMT-sensitive serotonin receptors are involved in mood, perception, and thought.» — Strassman sitúa en el cerebro el efecto más interesante del DMT, en receptores ligados al ánimo, la percepción y el pensamiento. El troceo reemite aquí la marca de la plana 67 al abrir chunk y corta la frase anterior

«Although the brain denies access to most drugs and chemicals, it takes a particular and remarkable fancy to DMT. It is not stretching the truth to suggest that the brain "hungers" for it.» — la figura con que Strassman describe la relación del cerebro con el DMT: le tiene un gusto particular, y no exagera quien diga que lo tiene hambre

«A nearly impenetrable shield, the blood-brain barrier, prevents unwelcome agents from leaving the blood and crossing the capillary walls into the brain tissue. This defense extends even to keeping out the complex carbohydrates and fats that other tissues use for energy. The brain burns instead only the purest form of fuel: simple sugar, or glucose.» — Strassman describe la barrera hematoencefálica y la dieta única del cerebro, que quema solo glucosa

«Twenty-five years ago, Japanese scientists discovered that the brain actively transports DMT across the blood-brain barrier into its tissues. I know of no other psychedelic drug that the brain treats with such eagerness.» — el dato que Strassman pone por central: científicos japoneses hallaron que el cerebro transporta activamente el DMT a través de la barrera, y él no conoce otro psicodélico tratado así

«If DMT were only a insignificant, irrelevant by-product of our metabolism, why does the brain go out of its way to draw it into its confines?» — el argumento que Strassman saca de ese transporte activo, en forma de pregunta; la capa de texto imprime *a insignificant* donde el volumen pone *an insignificant*

«Once the body produces or takes in DMT, certain enzymes break it down within seconds. These enzymes, called monoamine oxidases (MAO), occur in high concentrations in the blood, liver, stomach, brain, and intestines. The widespread presence of MAO is why DMT effects are so short-lived. Whenever and wherever it appears, the body makes sure it is used up quickly.» — Strassman explica la brevedad del efecto del DMT por la monoaminooxidasa, abundante en sangre, hígado, estómago, cerebro e intestinos

«In a way, DMT is "brain food," treated in a manner similar to how the brain handles glucose, its precious fuel source. It is part of a "high turnover" system: quick in, quick used. The brain actively transports DMT across its defense system and just as rapidly breaks it down.» — la figura con que Strassman resume el trato que el cerebro le da al DMT: alimento cerebral de recambio rápido

«It is as if DMT is necessary for maintaining normal brain function. It is only when levels get too high for "normal" function that we start undergoing unusual experiences.» — la hipótesis que Strassman enuncia con un *es como si*: el DMT haría falta para el funcionamiento normal del cerebro y solo el exceso daría lo inusual

«My answer is: "Because it is the spirit molecule.» — la respuesta de Strassman a por qué el cuerpo fabrica DMT, que da título al libro

«Visionary artist Alex Grey has sketched an inspiring rendition of the DMT molecule. Alex's art helped me begin thinking about these questions much more clearly.» — Strassman adjudica al artista visionario Alex Grey el dibujo de la molécula de DMT que le ayudó a pensar el asunto

«A spirit molecule needs to elicit, with reasonable reliability, certain psychological states we consider "spiritual." These are feelings of extraordinary joy, timelessness, and a certainty that what we are experiencing is "more real than real."» — la primera condición que Strassman le pone a una molécula del espíritu: provocar con fiabilidad razonable alegría extraordinaria, atemporalidad y la certeza de que lo vivido es más real que lo real

«Such a substance may lead us to an acceptance of the coexistence of opposites, such as life and death, good and evil; a knowledge that consciousness continues after death; a deep understanding of the basic unity of all phenomena; and a sense of wisdom or love pervading all existence.» — el resto de la lista de Strassman: aceptación de la coexistencia de los opuestos, saber que la consciencia continúa tras la muerte, comprensión de la unidad de todo y sentido de una sabiduría o un amor que lo llena todo

«A spirit molecule also leads us to spiritual realms. These worlds usually are invisible to us and our instruments and are not accessible using our normal state of consciousness. However, just as likely as the theory that these worlds exist "only in our minds" is that they are, in reality, "outside" of us and freestanding. If we simply change our brain's receiving abilities, we can apprehend and interact with them.» — la segunda condición, y con ella la hipótesis del cerebro como receptor: esos mundos pueden estar solo en la mente o estar fuera y ser independientes, y cambiar la capacidad receptora bastaría para tratarlos

«Furthermore, keep in mind that a spirit molecule is not spiritual in and of itself. It is a tool, or a vehicle. Think of it as a tugboat, a chariot, a» — la acotación que Strassman pone a su propia figura: la molécula del espíritu no es espiritual, es herramienta o vehículo, y las imágenes con que la nombra son el remolcador, el carro y el explorador a caballo. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la enumeración termina en la 70

«We need to hold on tight, and we must be prepared, for spiritual realms include both heaven and hell, both fantasy and nightmare. While the spirit molecule's role may seem angelic, there is no guarantee it will not take us to the demonic.» — la advertencia de Strassman sobre los reinos espirituales: incluyen el cielo y el infierno, y nada garantiza que el vehículo no lleve a lo demoniaco

«Equally important is that DMT occurs in our bodies. We produce it naturally. Our brain seeks it out, pulls it in, and readily digests it.» — la segunda razón por la que Strassman elige al DMT como candidato: el cuerpo lo produce y el cerebro lo busca, lo mete y lo digiere

«As an endogenous psychedelic, DMT may be involved in naturally occurring psychedelic states that have nothing to do with taking drugs, but whose similarities to drug-induced conditions are striking.» — la hipótesis enunciada con *puede*: el DMT endógeno estaría metido en estados psicodélicos que ocurren sin droga alguna

«It may be upon endogenous DMT's wings that we experience other life-changing states of mind associated with birth, death, and near-death, entity or alien contact experiences, and mystical/spiritual consciousness.» — la lista de estados que Strassman pone bajo esa hipótesis: nacimiento, muerte y cercanía de la muerte, contacto con entidades o alienígenas, y consciencia mística o espiritual

«ne of my deepest motivations behind the DMT research was the search for a biological basis of spiritual experience.» — la motivación que Strassman declara al abrir el capítulo de la pineal: buscar una base biológica de la experiencia espiritual. La capitular se pierde en la capa de texto y el renglón arranca en *ne of my* donde el impreso pone *One of my*

«Much of what I had learned over the years made me wonder if the pineal gland produced DMT during mystical states and other naturally occurring, psychedelic-like experiences.» — la hipótesis de la pineal en su forma de pregunta: si la glándula produce DMT en los estados místicos y en otros estados psicodélicos espontáneos

«These are ideas I developed before performing the New Mexico research. In chapter 21, I enlarge these hypotheses to incorporate what we discovered during the experiments themselves.» — Strassman fecha sus hipótesis antes del estudio y anuncia que las amplía en el capítulo 21 con lo hallado en él

«While at Stanford, I took classes on sleep and dreams, hypnosis, the psychology of consciousness, physiological psychology, and Buddhism—all cutting-edge material in California universities in those days.» — Strassman enumera lo que estudió en Stanford: sueño y sueños, hipnosis, psicología de la consciencia, psicología fisiológica y budismo

«Little did I know that Jim had worked with Willis Harman, who was administering psychedelic drugs in an attempt to enhance creativity, at a nearby research institute. The published results of this work, over thirty years old, remains the only such data in the literature and showed great potential for stimulating the creative process.» — Strassman consigna el vínculo de James Fadiman con Willis Harman y con el estudio de creatividad, que sigue siendo el único de su tipo en la literatura

«You ought to look into the pineal gland," he said at last. "My wife Dorothy is making a film about the experience of inner light described by mystics. The pineal gland is drawing her in as the metaphysical source of this light, the crowning achievement of many traditions. Maybe it really does generate that light inside our heads.» — el consejo de James Fadiman en su propia voz, que da origen a toda la investigación: la pineal como fuente metafísica de la luz interior descrita por los místicos y coronación de muchas tradiciones, según la película que preparaba su esposa Dorothy

«Western and Eastern mystical traditions are replete with descriptions of a blinding bright white light accompanying deep spiritual realization. This "enlightenment" usually is the result of a progression of consciousness through various levels of spiritual, psychological, and ethical development. All mystical traditions describe the process and its stages.» — Strassman consigna que las tradiciones místicas describen una luz blanca cegadora en la realización espiritual honda, al cabo de una progresión por etapas

«In Judaism, for example, consciousness moves through the sefirot, or Kabbalistic centers of spiritual development, the highest being Keter, or Crown.» — Strassman nombra el recorrido de la consciencia por las sefirot y su cima en Keter, y lo adjudica al judaísmo con el adjetivo cabalístico

«In the Eastern Ayurvedic tradition, these centers are called chakras, and particular experiences likewise accompany the movement of energy through them. The highest chakra is also called the Crown, or the Thousand-Petaled Lotus. In both traditions, the location of this Crown sefira or chakra» — Strassman equipara los chakras de la tradición ayurvédica con las sefirot del judaísmo y nombra la más alta Corona o Loto de Mil Pétalos. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la correspondencia anatómica con la pineal se completa en la 74

«We first read about the physical pineal gland in the writings of Herophilus, a third-century B.C. Greek physician from the time of Alexander the Great. Its name comes from the Latin pineus, relating to the pine, pinus.» — Strassman fecha el primer registro de la pineal en Herófilo, médico griego del siglo III antes de Cristo, y da la etimología del nombre por la piña. El troceo reemite aquí la marca de la plana 74 al abrir chunk y corta la frase siguiente

«The pineal gland is unique in its solitary status within the brain. All other brain sites are paired, meaning that they have left and right counterparts; for example, there are left and right frontal lobes and left and right temporal lobes. As the only unpaired organ deep within the brain, the pineal gland remained an anatomical curiosity for nearly two thousand years. No one in the West had any idea what its function was.» — Strassman consigna lo que hace singular a la pineal: es el único órgano impar dentro del cerebro, y por eso quedó dos mil años como curiosidad anatómica

«Interest in the pineal accelerated after it attracted Rene Descartes's attention. This seventeenth-century French philosopher and mathematician, who said, "I think, therefore I am," needed a source for those thoughts. Introspection showed him that it was possible to think only one thought at a time. From where in the brain might these unpaired, solitary thoughts arise?» — Strassman adjudica a Descartes el renacer del interés por la pineal, a partir de la introspección de que solo se piensa un pensamiento a la vez

«Descartes proposed that the pineal, the only singleton organ of the brain, generated thoughts. In addition, Descartes believed the pineal's location, directly above one of the crucial byways for the cerebrospinal fluid, made this function even more likely.» — la propuesta que Strassman adjudica a Descartes: la pineal genera los pensamientos, y su sitio sobre una vía del líquido cefalorraquídeo lo hacía más verosímil

«If the pineal gland "secreted" thoughts into the cerebrospinal fluid, what better means for the "stream of consciousness" to make its way to the rest of the brain?» — la figura con que Strassman completa el modelo cartesiano: el flujo del líquido como corriente de la consciencia

«Descartes also had a deeply spiritual side. He believed that thinking, or the human imagination, was basically a spiritual phenomenon made possible by our divine nature, what we share with God.» — Strassman consigna el lado espiritual de Descartes: pensar es fenómeno espiritual hecho posible por la naturaleza divina que el hombre comparte con Dios. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y sigue en la 75

«Although the soul is joined with the entire body, there is one part of the body [the pineal] in which it exercises its function more than elsewhere. . . . [The pineal] is so suspended between the passages containing the animal spirits [guiding reason and carrying sensation and movement] that it can be moved by them . . . ; and it carries this motion on to the soul. . . . Then conversely, the bodily machine is so constituted that whenever the gland is moved in one way or another by the soul, or for that matter by any other cause, it pushes the animal spirits which surround it to the pores of the brain.» — la cita de Descartes que el volumen reproduce, en la voz de Descartes: hay una parte del cuerpo en que el alma ejerce su función más que en otras, suspendida entre los conductos de los espíritus animales. Los corchetes son del volumen y la llamada de nota sale como cero en la capa de texto. Tramo largo releído entero en el crudo

«Descartes thus proposed that the pineal gland somehow was the "seat of the soul," the intermediary between the spiritual and physical. The body and the spirit met there, each affecting the other, and the repercussions extended in both directions.» — la fórmula con que Strassman resume a Descartes: la pineal como asiento del alma e intermediaria entre lo espiritual y lo físico

«The pineal gland of evolutionarily older animals, such as lizards and amphibians, is also called the "third" eye. Just like the two seeing eyes, the third eye possesses a lens, cornea, and retina. It is light-sensitive and helps regulate body temperature and skin coloration—two basic survival functions intimately related to environmental light.» — Strassman consigna que en lagartos y anfibios la pineal se llama tercer ojo y tiene lente, córnea y retina, y regula temperatura y color de la piel

«As animals climbed the evolutionary ladder, the pineal moved inward, deeper into the brain, more hidden and removed from outside influences. While the bird pineal no longer sits on top of the skull, it remains sensitive to outside light because of the paper-thin surrounding bones. The mammalian, including human, pineal is buried even deeper in the brain's recesses and is not directly sensitive to light, at least in adults.» — Strassman traza el hundimiento de la pineal hacia dentro del cerebro a lo largo de la escala evolutiva, hasta perder la sensibilidad directa a la luz en el mamífero adulto

«The human pineal gland becomes visible in the developing fetus at seven weeks, or forty-nine days, after conception. Of great interest to me was finding out that this is nearly exactly the moment in which one can clearly see the first indication of male or female gender. Before this time, the sex of the fetus is indeterminate, or unknown. Thus, the pineal gland and the most important differentiation of humanity, male and female gender, appear at the same time.» — el dato en que Strassman apoya la hipótesis del día cuarenta y nueve: la pineal se hace visible en el feto a las siete semanas, el mismo momento en que se ve por primera vez el sexo

«The human pineal gland is not actually part of the brain. Rather, it develops from specialized tissues in the roof of the fetal mouth. From there it migrates to the center of the brain, where it seems to have the best seat in the house.» — Strassman consigna el origen embrionario de la pineal fuera del cerebro, en el techo de la boca fetal, y su migración al centro

«These sensory or perceptual hubs are called the visual and auditory colliculi, little mounds of specialized brain tissue. They are relay stations for the transmission of sense data to brain sites involved in their registration and interpretation. That is, electrical and chemical impulses that begin in the eyes and ears must pass through the colliculi before we experience them in our minds as sights and sounds. The pineal gland hangs directly over these colliculi, separated by only a narrow channel of cerebrospinal fluid. Anything secreted by the pineal into that fluid would settle onto the colliculi in a moment.» — Strassman describe la posición de la pineal sobre los colículos visual y auditivo, separada solo por un canal de líquido, y lo que eso implica para cualquier secreción suya

«In addition, the limbic, or "emotional," brain surrounds the tiny pineal. The limbic "system" is a collection of brain structures intimately involved in the experience of feelings, such as joy, rage, fear, anxiety, and pleasure. Therefore, the pineal also has direct access to the brain's emotional centers.» — Strassman consigna la vecindad de la pineal con el sistema límbico y el acceso directo que eso le da a los centros emocionales

«For many years physiologists considered the mammalian pineal gland the equivalent of the "brain's appendix." It was a residual, vestigial organ, a» — el desprecio con que Strassman dice que la fisiología trató a la pineal: el apéndice del cerebro, órgano residual y vestigial. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la frase termina en la 77

«That changed when American dermatologist Aaron Lerner discovered melatonin in 1958. This and related findings began what might be called the era of the "melatonin hypothesis of pineal function."» — Strassman fecha en 1958 el hallazgo de la melatonina por el dermatólogo Aaron Lerner y con él la era de la hipótesis melatonínica

«He ground up over twelve thousand cow pineals and finally found the skin-lightening compound. He named it melatonin because it lightened skin by contracting the black pigment in special cells: melas, black; and tonin, contract or squeeze.» — Strassman cuenta cómo Lerner aisló la melatonina de doce mil pineales de vaca y da la etimología del nombre

«Despite all of Lerner's work, there is little evidence today that melatonin plays a role in vitiligo.» — la acotación que Strassman pone al propio punto de partida de Lerner: hoy hay poca evidencia de que la melatonina intervenga en el vitíligo

«They found that constant darkness blocked reproductive function and shrank the sexual organs; it also stimulated pineal growth and the production of melatonin. On the other hand, constant light shrank the pineal, reduced melatonin levels, and turned on sexual function.» — el experimento de luz y oscuridad que Strassman resume: la oscuridad constante frena la reproducción y engorda la pineal, y la luz constante hace lo contrario

«I firmly believed that there was a spirit molecule somewhere in the brain, initiating or supporting mystical and other naturally occurring altered states of consciousness. My first best guess was that pineal melatonin was this "spirit molecule," the chemical interpreter through which the body and spirit met and communicated.» — Strassman declara su convicción de partida y su primer candidato: la melatonina pineal como molécula del espíritu

«It is the "hormone of darkness." Light turns off melatonin production, both during daylight hours and in the presence of artificial light during nighttime hours. The longer the nighttime dark hours, the more melatonin. The greater the daylight hours, the less melatonin.» — la regla de la melatonina en palabras de Strassman: hormona de la oscuridad, que la luz apaga

«Besides indicating whether it is day or night, the patterns of melatonin production also inform the animal about the time of year. These longer-term melatonin effects help prepare for the appropriate seasonal responses—pregnancy in spring or fall, hibernation during the winter, or fat loss in summer.» — Strassman consigna la función estacional de la melatonina: además del día y la noche, informa del tiempo del año y prepara la preñez, la hibernación o la pérdida de grasa

«Noradrenaline and adrenaline (or norepinephrine and epinephrine) are the two neurotransmitters that turn on melatonin synthesis in the pineal. They are released directly onto the pineal gland by nerve cells that almost touch it. The neurotransmitters attach to specialized receptors, which then begin the chemical process of melatonin formation.» — Strassman nombra los dos neurotransmisores que encienden la síntesis de melatonina y describe cómo la alcanzan

«Since the pineal gland does not originate from brain tissue, it exists outside the blood-brain barrier and ought to be responsive to blood-borne chemicals and drugs.» — la anomalía que Strassman señala: por su origen fuera del cerebro, la pineal debería responder a lo que trae la sangre

«Nevertheless, the body protects the pineal gland with a fierce tenacity. The stress-related surges of adrenal-gland adrenaline and noradrenaline secreted into the blood never get to the pineal. The pineal security system, made up of "vacuuming" nerve cells, simply cleans up the blood-borne adrenaline and noradrenaline in an incredibly efficient manner.» — Strassman describe el sistema de seguridad de la pineal, que limpia de la sangre la adrenalina y la noradrenalina antes de que le lleguen

«The function of melatonin in humans is uncertain, despite major advances in our understanding of its effects in other animals. There is great interest in determining whether melatonin has the same effects on reproductive function in humans as it does in other mammals. Melatonin levels fall dramatically at human puberty. Some investigators think this may allow the sexual apparatus to free itself from pineal restraint and thus begin functioning in an adult manner. Conclusive evidence remains elusive. Neither is it scientifically established that melatonin plays a role in jet lag, winter depression, sleep, cancer, or aging.» — la acotación con que Strassman mide lo poco asentado sobre la melatonina humana, incluido su papel en el desfase horario, la depresión invernal, el sueño, el cáncer y el envejecimiento

«For any chemical to qualify as a spirit molecule, it must at least possess psychedelic effects. Does melatonin's striking chemical similarity to DMT and 5-methoxy-DMT mean that it also is profoundly psychoactive?» — el requisito mínimo que Strassman pone a una molécula del espíritu y la pregunta que le hace a la melatonina

«Some early studies suggested that melatonin has mind-altering properties. For example, administering high doses before bedtime seemed to induce vivid dreams.» — Strassman consigna lo que sugerían los estudios antiguos sobre la melatonina: dosis altas antes de dormir parecían inducir sueños vívidos

«There was only one way for me to find out if melatonin was psychedelic, and that was to administer it to my own human volunteers.» — el método que Strassman se impone para decidirlo: administrarla él mismo a voluntarios humanos

«Glenn, Jonathan, and I performed a comprehensive three-year study of melatonin effects in normal human volunteers. Out of this emerged the first, and so far only, documented role for melatonin in human physiology: melatonin contributes to the early morning drop in body temperature.» — el único papel documentado de la melatonina en la fisiología humana según Strassman, salido de su propio estudio de tres años

«We studied nineteen male volunteers who stayed awake all night in light that was bright enough to prevent any melatonin formation. The drop in body temperature was not nearly as deep as normal in these melatonindeprived men, and we wondered if the lack of melatonin was responsible.» — el diseño del estudio de melatonina: diecinueve voluntarios varones despiertos toda la noche bajo luz que impedía formarla

«Most important to me were results from several rating scales that measured the psychological properties of melatonin. My reading led me to hope for some profound mind-altering effects of this pineal product. However, we found that melatonin produced little more than sedation and relaxation.» — el resultado que más le importaba a Strassman y que echó abajo su primer candidato: la melatonina no hizo más que sedar y relajar

«No such luck for you, Dr. Strassman," she laughed in reply.» — la respuesta de la enfermera de investigación, en su propia voz, cuando Strassman pregunta esperanzado si el voluntario con diez veces la dosis de melatonina alucinaba

«This event, more than any other, convinced me that melatonin was not psychedelic. However, my reading continued to persuade me that the pineal gland was the prime site in which to search for a spirit molecule.» — el punto de giro que Strassman consigna: la melatonina queda descartada y la pineal sigue siendo el sitio donde buscar

«ven before I began the melatonin study, my review of the literature indicated it might not be the spirit molecule. I wondered if the pineal gland made other compounds with psychedelic properties.» — Strassman consigna que ya antes del estudio sospechaba de la melatonina y se preguntaba por otros compuestos pineales. La capitular se pierde y el renglón arranca en *Lven* donde el impreso pone *Even*

«Let me tell you this, Rick," he said very slowly and firmly. "The pineal has nothing to do with psychedelic drugs.» — la reprimenda del profesor a quien el libro llama Dr. K., en su propia voz, cuando Strassman le propone un papel psicodélico para la pineal

«That was the last time that year I said the words pineal and psychedelic in the same breath to anyone.» — el efecto que Strassman consigna de esa reprimenda sobre su propio trabajo

«These hypotheses are not proven, but they derive from scientifically valid data combined with spiritual and religious observations and teachings. Many of these ideas are testable using available tools and methods.» — la declaración con que Strassman marca el estatuto de lo que sigue: hipótesis no probadas, salidas de datos válidos combinados con observaciones espirituales y religiosas, y muchas de ellas comprobables

«The most general hypothesis is that the pineal gland produces psychedelic amounts of DMT at extraordinary times in our lives. Pineal DMT production is the physical representation of non-material, or energetic, processes. It provides us with the vehicle to consciously experience the movement of our life-force in its most extreme manifestations.» — la hipótesis general del libro en su forma más completa: la pineal produce cantidades psicodélicas de DMT en los momentos extraordinarios de la vida, como representación física de procesos no materiales

«When our individual life force enters our fetal body, the moment in which we become truly human, it passes through the pineal and triggers the first primordial flood of DMT. Later, at birth, the pineal releases more DMT.» — los dos primeros casos de esa hipótesis: la entrada de la fuerza vital en el cuerpo fetal y el nacimiento

«In some of us, pineal DMT mediates the pivotal experiences of deep meditation, psychosis, and near-death experiences. As we die, the life-force leaves the body through the pineal gland, releasing another flood of this psychedelic spirit molecule.» — los otros dos casos: la meditación profunda, la psicosis y la cercanía de la muerte, y la salida de la fuerza vital por la pineal al morir

«The pineal gland contains the necessary building blocks to make DMT. For example, it possesses the highest levels of serotonin anywhere in the body, and serotonin is a crucial precursor for pineal melatonin. The pineal also has the ability to convert serotonin to tryptamine, a critical step in DMT formation.» — el argumento bioquímico de Strassman: la pineal tiene los niveles más altos de serotonina del cuerpo y sabe convertirla en triptamina

«The unique enzymes that convert serotonin, melatonin, or tryptamine into psychedelic compounds also are present in extraordinarily high concentrations in the pineal. These enzymes, the methyltransferases, attach a methyl group—that is, one carbon and three hydrogens—onto other molecules, thus methylating them. Simply methylate tryptamine twice, and we have di-methyl-tryptamine, or DMT.» — Strassman describe las metiltransferasas de la pineal y el paso que bastaría para producir DMT

«Because it possesses the high levels of the necessary enzymes and precursors, the pineal gland is the most reasonable place for DMT formation to occur. Surprisingly, no one has looked for DMT in the pineal.» — la conclusión de Strassman y el hueco que declara en el mismo renglón: nadie ha buscado DMT en la pineal

«The pineal gland also makes other potentially mind-altering substances, the beta-carbolines. These compounds inhibit the breakdown of DMT by the body's monoamine oxidases (MAO). One of the most striking examples of how beta-carbolines work is ayahuasca. Certain plants that contain beta-carbolines are combined with other plants that contain DMT to make this psychedelic Amazonian brew, which allows the DMT to become orally active. If it weren't for the beta-carbolines, MAO in the gut would rapidly destroy this swallowed DMT, and it would have no effect on our minds.» — Strassman introduce las beta-carbolinas pineales y explica con la ayahuasca cómo inhiben la degradación del DMT y lo vuelven activo por boca

«It is uncertain whether beta-carbolines by themselves are psychedelic. However, they do markedly enhance the effects of DMT. Thus, the pineal gland may produce both DMT and chemicals that magnify and prolong its effects.» — la acotación de Strassman sobre las beta-carbolinas, con su incertidumbre declarada

«The guiding principle of the first wave of human DMT research was to compare DMT and schizophrenic states. Therefore, this was the context in which scientists studied these four different elements of the human DMT system.» — Strassman consigna que los cuatro elementos del sistema humano del DMT se estudiaron solo dentro del marco de la psicosis

«My emphasis on the relationship between DMT and psychosis, therefore, is not because I believe that this is the only role for endogenous DMT. Rather, psychosis is the only naturally occurring altered state of consciousness for which we have any real data. I believe that other "spontaneous psychedelic" conditions, such as near-death and spiritual experiences, also share a similar relationship with endogenous DMT. Those studies, however, have yet to be performed.» — Strassman acota por qué insiste en la psicosis: no porque crea que es el único papel del DMT endógeno, sino porque es el único estado alterado espontáneo del que hay datos reales

«Most likely, the primary factor inhibiting excessive pineal DMT production is the supremely efficient pineal security system discussed in the last chapter. The best-known example of this defense is the difficulty we encounter when trying to stimulate daytime melatonin production.» — Strassman señala el sistema de seguridad pineal como el freno principal a una producción excesiva de DMT

«Elite athletes ran a high-altitude marathon, spending much of it above 10,000 feet. We measured melatonin before and after the race. For many of the runners, this was "nearly" a near-death experience. Yet melatonin levels in these athletes rose only to those observed at night during normal sleep—hardly an explosion of brain chemistry!» — el experimento del maratón de altura con que Strassman mide el escudo pineal: la melatonina apenas subió a niveles de sueño normal

«Nevertheless, we did see that it is possible to override the pineal's defense shield if the stress is great enough.» — la conclusión que Strassman saca de ese experimento: el escudo pineal se puede vencer si el estrés es bastante grande

«Neuroscientists believe this barrier to pineal activation exists because it would be problematic for an animal to experience its environment as "dark" during daylight hours. Since the pineal normally releases melatonin only at night, daytime melatonin release would "feel" as if it were dark at the "wrong" time, and the animal would be disoriented.» — la explicación corriente del escudo pineal que Strassman expone antes de objetarla

«However, this explanation is weak. Daytime melatonin secretion is hardly "dangerous" enough to merit such a complex and efficient» — la objeción de Strassman a esa explicación: la melatonina diurna no es bastante peligrosa para justificar un sistema de seguridad tan complejo y eficiente. El troceo reemite aquí la marca de la plana 86 al abrir chunk y corta la frase

«However, consider what might happen if stress easily triggered the pineal to produce DMT, rather than melatonin. DMT is physically immobilizing and produces a flood of unexpected and overwhelming visual and emotional imagery. Certainly, frequent bursts of DMT release would be much more dangerous for an animal than would be those of melatonin.» — el contraste con que Strassman apoya su hipótesis: una descarga de DMT sí sería peligrosa para un animal, y la melatonina no

«It may be that melatonin is so hard to make during the day because any breach in the pineal security system is intolerable. The pineal erects a barrier to inordinate stress that protects equally everything behind it. So, one set of circumstances in which pineal DMT may form is when stress-induced catecholamine output is just too great for the pineal shield to withstand.» — la hipótesis que Strassman deriva: la melatonina cuesta de día porque toda brecha en el escudo es intolerable, y un estrés bastante grande dejaría pasar la formación de DMT

«Stress worsens hallucinations and delusions in psychotic patients. DMT levels in those patients are related to the degree of psychosis—the more intense the symptoms, the higher the levels of DMT.» — el dato indirecto que Strassman alega: los niveles de DMT en pacientes psicóticos van con la intensidad de los síntomas

«Another factor normally protecting the body from pineal production of psychedelic amounts of DMT resides within the pineal gland itself. A particular kind of small protein, first discovered in blood, has been shown to interfere with the activity of the DMT-forming enzymes. The pineal has quite high levels of this protein, a sort of "anti-DMT." If this inhibitor itself were blocked, DMT formation is more likely. Where better to provide an anti-DMT for preventing potentially dangerous excessive DMT formation than where it is made—in the pineal gland?» — Strassman describe la anti-DMT pineal: una proteína pequeña que estorba a las enzimas formadoras y que la pineal tiene en alto nivel

«Individuals with schizophrenia received pineal gland extracts as an experimental treatment in the 1960s. Their symptoms improved markedly. The explanation for this finding was that the pineal extracts provided patients with an additional dose of the anti-DMT that their own pineal glands lacked. Thus, they were better able to combat pathologically high levels of DMT, and their psychotic symptoms improved.» — el dato de los años sesenta con que Strassman apoya esa idea, y la explicación que se le dio: los extractos pineales aportaban la anti-DMT que faltaba

«Researchers have found that the methyltransferase enzymes that form DMT are more active in schizophrenia than in normal conditions. This would raise production of DMT. Scientists looked at many human tissues for the source of this abnormal enzyme function, but unfortunately did not study the pineal gland.» — Strassman consigna el hallazgo sobre las metiltransferasas en la esquizofrenia y el hueco que le importa: nadie miró la pineal

«The most likely time for us to dream is also the time at which melatonin levels are highest, that is, around 3 A.M. Since melatonin itself has such mild psychological effects, it suggests a role for another pineal compound whose levels parallel those of melatonin. DMT is a likely prospect for such a substance. However, no one has looked at 24-hour DMT rhythms in normal volunteers in an attempt to relate DMT levels to dream intensity or frequency.» — la hipótesis del sueño: la hora de más melatonina es la de más ensueño, y como la melatonina es floja Strassman propone al DMT; y declara que nadie ha medido el ritmo de veinticuatro horas del DMT

«Jace Callaway, Ph.D., has suggested that pineal derived beta-carbolines may mediate dreams. While the uncertain psychological effects of the beta-carbolines shed some doubt on this hypothesis, pineal beta-carbolines certainly could, by virtue of their DMT-boosting effects, indirectly stimulate dream production.» — según Strassman, Jace Callaway propone que las beta-carbolinas pineales medien los sueños, y él lo acota por lo incierto de sus efectos psicológicos

«All spiritual disciplines describe quite psychedelic accounts of the transformative experiences, whose attainment motivate their practice. Blinding white light, encounters with demonic and angelic entities, ecstatic emotions, timelessness, heavenly sounds, feelings of having died and being reborn, contacting a powerful and loving presence underlying all of reality—these experiences cut across all denominations.» — la lista de fenómenos que Strassman dice comunes a todas las disciplinas espirituales: luz blanca cegadora, encuentros con entidades demoníacas y angélicas, emociones extáticas, atemporalidad, sonidos celestiales, morir y renacer, y el contacto con una presencia amorosa bajo toda la realidad

«Several meditative disciplines bring about an intense fine-tuning of attention and awareness; for example, one-pointed focus on the breath. The brain's electrical activity, as measured by the electroencephalogram, reflects this synchronization, or bringing together, of brain activity.» — Strassman describe el afinamiento de la atención en las disciplinas meditativas y su reflejo en el electroencefalograma

«Other techniques supplement these attentional practices with methods like chanting. Chants, using words from ancient languages with supposedly unique spiritual properties, may cause profound psychological effects. Visualization practices, in which one builds up increasingly complex and dynamic images in the mind's eye, also can lead to blissful and sublime states of mind.» — Strassman enumera las técnicas que acompañan a la atención: el canto con palabras de lenguas antiguas y la visualización

«An example of the powerful effects of resonance is when a particular note shatters a glass, even though the sound is not especially loud. The glass vibrates sympathetically, or resonates, at the same frequency as that of surrounding sound. Certain notes can create intolerable stress within the unique structure of the glass, and it bursts.» — el ejemplo de la copa que estalla con que Strassman explica la resonancia

«In a similar way, meditative techniques using sound, sight, or the mind may generate particular wave patterns whose fields induce resonance in the brain. Millennia of human trial and error have determined that certain "sacred" words, visual images, and mental exercises exert uniquely desired effects. Such effects may occur because of the specific fields they generate within the brain.» — la hipótesis de la resonancia aplicada a la meditación: milenios de ensayo y error fijaron palabras sagradas, imágenes y ejercicios cuyo efecto vendría de los campos que generan en el cerebro

«A resonance process may occur in the pineal similar to that of the shattering glass, although not quite as destructive. The pineal begins to "vibrate" at frequencies that weaken its multiple barriers to DMT formation: the pineal cellular shield, enzyme levels, and quantities of anti-DMT. The end result is a psychedelic surge of the pineal spirit molecule, resulting in the subjective states of mystical consciousness.» — el mecanismo que Strassman propone para la experiencia mística: la pineal vibra hasta debilitar sus barreras y suelta una oleada de la molécula del espíritu

«It is no exaggeration to say that birth, near-death, and death are extraordinarily "stressful" events. The life-force is doing all it can to sustain its struggling residence. Tremendous outpourings of stress-related hormones occur at these times, including the pineal-stimulating catecholamines adrenaline and noradrenaline.» — Strassman agrupa nacimiento, cercanía de la muerte y muerte como los tres momentos de mayor descarga de hormonas de estrés

«The birth experience is highly psychedelic for the unanesthetized mother. How much more so for the newborn! We know that DMT is present in newborn laboratory animals. There's no reason to believe it's not also present in newborn humans. However, no one has yet looked for DMT in human newborns or their mothers during delivery.» — la hipótesis del parto y el hueco declarado en el mismo renglón: hay DMT en animales recién nacidos y nadie lo ha buscado en recién nacidos humanos ni en sus madres

«Normal vaginal delivery produces an enormous outpouring of catecholamine release. The massive flooding of these stress hormones over the mother's and fetus's pineal glands may be enough to override the pineal defense system and set in motion DMT release. If the mother is anesthetized, catecholamine production is less, and the least occurs when the baby is delivered by Cesarean section. Therefore, these latter two situations may result in less robust, if any, DMT release by mother's and baby's pineals.» — la predicción que Strassman deriva: el parto vaginal sin anestesia daría más descarga de DMT que el parto anestesiado y que la cesárea

«experience, much of what takes place during psychedelic therapy sessions is a reenactment of the birth process. He has found that those born by Cesarean section are less able to "let go" in psychedelic therapy than those born vaginally.» — según Strassman, Stanislav Grof sostiene que buena parte de la sesión psicodélica reactúa el parto, y que los nacidos por cesárea sueltan menos que los nacidos por vía vaginal. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana: la oración empieza en la 90 nombrando a Grof

«The presence of psychedelic levels of DMT at normal birth, and inadequate levels during Cesarean births due to too little stress-hormone-induced DMT output, may explain this finding.» — la explicación que Strassman ofrece del dato de Grof, con verbo de posibilidad

«Massive surges of stress hormones also mark the near-death experience, or NDE. Much of the literature on the NDE describes this as a mystical, psychedelic, overwhelming psychological experience. It also may be a time when the protective mechanisms of the pineal are flooded and otherwise inactive pathways to DMT production turn on.» — la hipótesis de la experiencia cercana a la muerte: la descarga de hormonas inundaría los mecanismos protectores de la pineal

«We know very little about the physiology of death itself. What happens to our bodies, our brains, and our minds when we die? How long is the process? Does it end when we stop breathing? Or is there a reason many traditions counsel us about when to move or bury the dead? Why are they concerned about not wanting to disturb residual consciousness?» — las preguntas que Strassman deja abiertas sobre la fisiología de la muerte y sobre por qué tantas tradiciones piden no mover ni enterrar pronto al muerto

«Pineal tissue in the dying or recently dead may produce DMT for a few hours, and perhaps longer, and could affect our lingering consciousness. While our "dead" brain wave readings are "flat," who knows about our inner mental state at this time?» — la conjetura de Strassman sobre el tejido pineal en descomposición y la consciencia que quede, con la pregunta que no responde

«To begin testing the hypothesis that decomposing pineal tissue produces psychedelic compounds, many years ago I collected pineal glands from about ten human cadavers to which I had access at a local morgue. I sent them to another laboratory to measure DMT.» — el experimento que Strassman hizo con pineales de unos diez cadáveres de una morgue local. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y el resultado negativo llega en la 92

«We found no DMT in these pineal glands.» — el resultado del experimento de los cadáveres: ningún DMT en esas pineales

«If there were any, it is possible the long delay in processing the tissue, several days in some cases, resulted in its loss before analysis.» — la reserva que Strassman pone a su propio resultado negativo: el retraso en procesar el tejido pudo perder el DMT

«There are LSD receptors on the pineal gland, and mescaline raises serotonin levels in the pineal.» — los datos con que Strassman propone a la pineal como intermediaria de los psicodélicos administrados. El troceo reemite aquí la marca de la plana 92 al abrir chunk y corta la enumeración, que sigue con las beta-carbolinas

«DMT promoting the formation of its own possible building blocks is similar to the kindling process, in which a tiny match can start a huge bonfire. The match begins by burning paper, which then lights larger twigs. Burning twigs ignite branches until ultimately, a raging blaze ensues.» — la figura de la yesca con que Strassman describe la producción endógena de DMT: un cerillo que enciende papel, ramitas y ramas hasta la hoguera

«Finally, there is a "flash point" for a full psychedelic burst of pineal DMT. The psychedelic "fire" burns itself out after it has run its course and exhausted the supply of raw materials.» — el remate de esa figura: un punto de ignición para la descarga pineal de DMT, y un fuego que se apaga al agotar la materia prima

«That is, the body so ruthlessly defends the pineal gland so that we are not disabled by everyday levels of stress releasing psychedelic levels of DMT.» — la respuesta que Strassman da, desde su hipótesis, a por qué la pineal está tan defendida

«Traditionally, we believe that the placement of the pineal is such that it can respond best to lighting conditions. However, the route from the eyes to the pineal is curiously tortuous. Nerves from the eyes to the pineal actually exit the head and detour through the neck before returning to the pineal deep within the skull.» — la anomalía anatómica que Strassman alega: el nervio del ojo a la pineal sale de la cabeza y da un rodeo por el cuello

«Finally, melatonin's psychological properties are rather insignificant. These minor mind-altering effects do not justify immediate access to the colliculi and limbic system, the deep brain structures that regulate perceptions and emotions.» — el argumento de Strassman contra la hipótesis melatonínica: los efectos psicológicos de la melatonina no justifican su acceso inmediato a los colículos y al sistema límbico

«If the pineal gland were producing DMT, however, that would certainly warrant its strategic location.» — la conclusión de Strassman: solo la producción de DMT justificaría la posición estratégica de la pineal. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la frase sigue en la 94

«Because of its extraordinarily short life span of just a few minutes, DMT would also benefit from the small distances, only millimeters wide, between the pineal and important brain structures. It could diffuse directly onto these brain sites by way of the cerebrospinal fluid, without first having to enter the blood circulation. If DMT first entered the blood, MAO enzymes would destroy it long before it returned to the brain to exert its profound mental effects.» — el argumento de distancia: la brevísima vida del DMT hace que le convenga estar a milímetros de esas estructuras y difundir por el líquido sin pasar por la sangre

«These considerations also effectively dispense with one of the major objections to the DMT theory of psychosis: the lack of differences between DMT blood levels in normal volunteers and in patients with psychosis. We now see that DMT concentrations in forearm vein blood may have little to do with its effects at discrete brain sites, sites at which DMT is broken down nearly as quickly as it is produced.» — la respuesta de Strassman a la objeción principal contra la teoría del DMT y la psicosis: la sangre del antebrazo no dice lo que pasa en sitios cerebrales discretos

«It is as if within the pineal gland there is a powerful dynamic or tension between the two roles it may play—one spiritual and the other sexual.» — la tensión que Strassman propone dentro de la pineal entre su papel espiritual y su papel sexual

«It's fascinating to note that many religious disciplines believe celibacy is necessary to attain the highest spiritual states. The explanation for this idea is that sexual activity diverts the energy required for full spiritual development. One chooses either the life of the flesh or the life of the spirit.» — Strassman consigna la razón que dan las disciplinas religiosas para el celibato: la actividad sexual desvía la energía del desarrollo espiritual

«This conflict may be played out biologically in the pineal gland. Valuable resources may go to the formation of either the reproductively important melatonin or the spiritually indispensable DMT, the hormone of darkness or the chemical of inner light.» — la fórmula con que Strassman opone melatonina y DMT dentro de la pineal: la hormona de la oscuridad y la química de la luz interior

«However, this opposition may be more apparent than real. Consider the possibility that pineal DMT release mediates sexual ecstasy, resulting from the strenuous exertion, hyperventilation, and intense emotions of the sex act. Psychedelic features do emerge at orgasm. In fact, the highly pleasurable effects of sexually activated DMT production may be one of the major factors motivating reproductive behavior.» — la vuelta con que Strassman disuelve esa oposición: el DMT pineal mediaría también el éxtasis sexual

«Practitioners of Tantra attempt to achieve the best of both these worlds. This spiritual discipline recognizes that sexual excitation and orgasm produce highly ecstatic states, and therefore uses sexual intercourse as a meditative technique. By combining sex and meditation, Tantric practitioners access states of consciousness not available with either practice alone. Pineal DMT release, stimulated by both deep meditation and intense sexual activity, may then result in especially pronounced psychedelic effects.» — Strassman nombra a los practicantes del Tantra como quienes juntan meditación y coito, y les adjudica estados no alcanzables por ninguna de las dos prácticas sola

«It is difficult to introduce the concept of "spirit" into any discussion of science in general, or biology in particular. However, it is even more difficult not to do so when the phenomena beg for it. In order to deal directly and deeply with the issues raised by the material I have presented, we must address this issue.» — la declaración de método con que Strassman se autoriza a hablar de espíritu dentro de un libro de biología

«There is something that "enlivens" us when joined with our body. When present in matter, it shows itself by way of movement and heat. In the brain, it provides the power to receive, and transform into awareness, our thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. When it is gone, the light is extinguished and the engine stops. Whatever it is, the presence of this enlivening force provides us the opportunity to interact with this time and place.» — la definición operativa de la fuerza vital que da Strassman: lo que al unirse a la materia se muestra como movimiento y calor, y en el cerebro da el poder de volver consciencia lo que llega

«While not "personal," this spirit or life-force has a "history" associated with our particular collection of animated matter. It has experienced things with us, while being essentially unchanged by those events. Its movements have created unique fields of influence by the notes or sounds it has generated by our body's mental and physical activities. When the body is too weak to contain it, it leaves. Some goes to other matter, and some joins the ambient background of fields. The unique fields produced by its cleaving to our body, however, remain for a while before dissipating. The stronger the field, or the louder the note, the more time it takes to fade.» — la descripción que hace Strassman de esa fuerza: no personal, con historia, que al irse deja campos que tardan en disiparse según su fuerza

«I already knew that the Tibetan Buddhist Book of the Dead teaches that it takes forty-nine days for the soul of the recently dead to "reincarnate." That is, seven weeks from the time of death of one person elapses until the life-force's "rebirth" into its next body.» — la premisa que Strassman toma del Libro tibetano de los muertos: cuarenta y nueve días entre la muerte y el renacimiento

«I remember very clearly, several years later, feeling the chill along my spine when, reading my textbook of human fetal development, I discovered this same forty-nine-day interval marking two landmark events in human embryo formation.» — el escalofrío que Strassman dice haber sentido al hallar en su libro de embriología el mismo intervalo de cuarenta y nueve días para dos hitos de la formación del embrión humano

«It takes forty-nine days from conception for the first signs of the human pineal to appear. Forty-nine days is also when the fetus differentiates into» — los dos hitos: la primera señal de la pineal y la diferenciación sexual del feto. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la frase termina en la 97

«Thus the soul's rebirth, the pineal, and the sexual organs all require forty-nine days before they manifest.» — la formulación de esa coincidencia con que Strassman abre la plana siguiente

«I unearthed this synchronicity when I was in my early twenties. I didn't know exactly how to make sense of it at the time. I still do not.» — la reserva con que Strassman mantiene esa coincidencia: la halló a los veintipocos años, no supo qué hacer con ella entonces y dice que sigue sin saberlo

«What is left over settles onto the next physical life-form that seems most appropriate for subsequent processing of unresolved issues. There is a resonance, a sympathetic vibration, of similar fields: C-minor gravitates to C-minor, animal traits to animals, plant qualities to plants, human issues to humans.» — el mecanismo de reencarnación que Strassman describe por resonancia entre campos semejantes

«In the case of human beings, these unmetabolized tendencies, this unfinished business, can enter the fetus only when it is "ready." This readiness may require forty-nine days, too, and may take the form of a pineal gland able to synthesize DMT. The pineal could act as an antenna or lightning rod for the soul.» — la pieza que cierra la hipótesis: lo no resuelto entra al feto cuando está listo, y esa disposición podría ser una pineal capaz de sintetizar DMT, pararrayos del alma

«The movement of this energy, the residual life-force of the past into the present, through the pineal and into the fetus, might be the first and most primordial DMT flash. This is the dawning of consciousness, of mind, of awareness as a distinct biological and sexual entity. The blinding light of pineal DMT, secreted within the developing brain, marks the passage through this threshold.» — lo que Strassman llama el primer y más primordial destello de DMT: el alba de la consciencia marcada por la luz cegadora del DMT pineal

«Until this forty-nine-day watershed, the fetus may be only a physical, rather than a physical-spiritual, being. Therefore, is forty-nine days when we truly can consider a fetus to be an individual sentient, and therefore spiritual, entity?» — la pregunta con que Strassman deja planteada la consecuencia más delicada de su hipótesis, sin responderla

«However, what might happen if someone does not have a pineal gland, due to pineal cancer or a stroke destroying it? Would he or she have the same access to conscious experiences from endogenous DMT as someone with an intact pineal?» — la objeción que Strassman se plantea a sí mismo: qué pasaría con quien no tiene pineal por cáncer o infarto

«The enzymes and precursors in the pineal gland are not unique to it, but the high concentrations of these compounds, and the gland's remarkably convenient location, make it an ideal source of the spirit molecule.» — la respuesta de Strassman a su propia objeción: las enzimas y precursores no son exclusivos de la pineal, y lo que la hace ideal son su concentración y su sitio

«In fact, for some years researchers jokingly referred to schizophrenia as a lung disease because of the high concentrations of DMT-forming enzymes within the lung!» — la broma que Strassman recoge de los investigadores: llamar a la esquizofrenia enfermedad pulmonar por las enzimas formadoras de DMT en el pulmón

«As radical as these theories were, I believed they could be tested using the traditional scientific method: designing experiments, analyzing data, and redefining the theories based upon results of this step-by-step research.» — Strassman reafirma que sus teorías, por radicales que sean, se pueden probar por el método científico corriente

«So, the next step in this hypothesis-building process was to determine if DMT given to people reproduced the features of those experiences. If outside-administered DMT elicited effects similar to those presumably resulting from inner-produced DMT, such as near-death and mystical states, my hypotheses would be much stronger.» — el paso que Strassman se fija: ver si el DMT administrado reproduce los rasgos de las experiencias que atribuye al endógeno

«A paper I wrote in San Diego on adverse reactions to psychedelics, published while I was performing the melatonin project, drew the attention of Rick Doblin, a tireless fund- and consciousness-raiser for psychedelic drug research.» — Strassman consigna el artículo que le abrió la puerta y nombra a Rick Doblin como promotor incansable de la investigación con psicodélicos

«Do what you really want in research. Who cares what other people think?» — el consejo de Glenn Peake que Strassman recuerda en su funeral, en la voz de Peake, y que decide el cambio de campo

«I decided to stop my melatonin research and attempt a DMT project. I talked these ideas over with the chairmen, directors, and heads of the university divisions supporting my melatonin experiments. They all believed a change in fields involved a real but reasonable risk. However, all were supportive of a psychedelic research project, "if that's what you really want to do." The years of preparation were over. It was now or never. It was 1988.» — Strassman fecha en 1988 la decisión de abandonar la melatonina y emprender el proyecto de DMT

«The Human Research Ethics Committee at the University of New Mexico reviews any project intending to study humans. This committee stamps all such proposals with a number. The first two digits correspond to the year, and the next three digits reflect the order in which the protocol arrives. I submitted the DMT proposal in late 1988. It was the committee's first study up for review at their January meeting. Thus, it became 89-001.» — Strassman explica de dónde sale el número que da título al capítulo: el orden de llegada al comité de ética en enero de 1989

«of the tryptamine hallucinogen of abuse, N,N-dimethyltryptamine (DMT), which is also an endogenous hallucinogen.» — el final de la primera oración del protocolo, que Strassman dice haber reescrito durante horas: el DMT como alucinógeno triptamínico de abuso y a la vez endógeno. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana: la oración empieza en la 102

«We have completed our review . . . and have concluded that it is reasonably safe to proceed with your proposed study.» — la respuesta de la FDA del 15 de noviembre de 1990, en su propia letra, casi dos años después de la solicitud

«In the early 1980s, a loose-knit network of therapists was giving this drug to their patients as an aid to psychotherapy. It was not illegal, and these psychiatrists and psychologists found that its effects were more reliable and easier to use than those of LSD. To their dismay, this "wonder drug," like LSD decades before, soon became widely abused across college campuses. In addition, scientific papers began reporting that MDMA caused brain damage in laboratory animals. The U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) placed MDMA into the most restrictive legal category for drugs, Schedule I, in 1985.» — Strassman cuenta el caso del MDMA: terapeutas que lo usaban legalmente, el abuso en los campus, los reportes de daño cerebral en animales y la clasificación de la DEA en 1985

«Nearly all the therapists using MDMA tried to make the DEA reverse its opinion. I went a different route and requested permission to give MDMA within its new legal status.» — Strassman distingue su estrategia de la de los demás terapeutas: pedir permiso dentro del nuevo estatuto legal en vez de pelear por revertirlo

«Even the terminally ill have rights, and you don't want to waste their death. And besides, sometimes the diagnosis of terminal is wrong.» — la respuesta del director de la división de la FDA, a quien el libro llama Dr. L., en su propia voz, cuando Strassman propone estudiar MDMA en enfermos terminales

«First, DMT clearly was the drug to study. It was incredibly interesting, and we all had some circulating in our bodies.» — la primera de las dos conclusiones a que Strassman llega con un colega en agosto de 1988

«Second, any psychedelic research project must not conflict with, and in fact must be consistent with, the current concerns about drug abuse.» — la segunda conclusión, que fija la estrategia del proyecto frente a la política antidrogas

«to remove legal restrictions, it made more sense to appeal directly to the scientific thinking that ultimately drives research. We all wanted to know what drugs like DMT did, and how they did it.» — la táctica que Strassman elige: apelar al pensamiento científico que mueve la investigación en vez de pelear con el gobierno por las restricciones legales. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana: la oración empieza en la 104

«you couldn't do it. Look at how your MDMA protocol fared.» — el pronóstico de un colega psicodélico, en su propia voz, sobre lo único que saldría del proyecto: el trabajo que contara por qué no se pudo. El verbatim arranca donde el troceo reemite la marca de la plana 105 al abrir chunk, a media oración

«A diminutive, gnomelike man, Dr. Freedman was arguably the most powerful individual in American psychiatry at the time.» — el retrato que Strassman hace de Daniel X. Freedman y el poder que le adjudica dentro de la psiquiatría estadounidense

«Rather than take a government health position, he chose to wield his power as the editor of psychiatry's most influential academic journal, the Archives of General Psychiatry. He routinely made and dashed careers by accepting or rejecting any one of the thousands of papers aspiring researchers endlessly submitted to him.» — Strassman describe cómo Freedman ejercía su poder desde la dirección de Archives of General Psychiatry

«He also testified in front of the 1966 U.S. Senate committee, chaired by Senator Robert Kennedy, that sealed the fate of psychedelic drugs' placement into their restricted legal category.» — Strassman consigna el testimonio de Freedman ante el comité del Senado de 1966, presidido por Robert Kennedy, que selló la suerte legal de los psicodélicos

«Freedman had serious doubts about the possibility of performing good human psychedelic research. He believed volunteers had too many expectations of drug effects. He also was worried about the risk of "unreliable personnel," a euphemistic reference to drug-taking by members of a research team.» — las dudas de Freedman que Strassman consigna: las expectativas de los voluntarios y el personal poco confiable, eufemismo por el consumo dentro del equipo

«This latter concern unerringly predicted some of the problems our own group would encounter in New Mexico.» — Strassman reconoce que esa segunda advertencia de Freedman anticipó problemas propios del grupo de Nuevo México

«In our meetings and correspondence, Freedman predicated any help he would provide me upon the premise that my DMT research would focus solely on pharmacology. He thought psychotherapy research would result in irrational enthusiasm, questionable results, and scientific controversy.» — la condición que Freedman le puso a su ayuda: solo farmacología, porque la investigación psicoterapéutica traería entusiasmo irracional y controversia

«While his logic was unassailable, our adherence to this biomedical model did set the stage for certain problems that developed later on in our research.» — la reserva con que Strassman acepta esa condición y la consecuencia que le adjudica

«I noted that one of the best reasons for choosing DMT was that very few people had heard of it. When the media discovered my research, it would draw much less attention than would an LSD project.» — la razón táctica que Strassman declara haber puesto en el protocolo: casi nadie había oído hablar del DMT y llamaría menos la atención de la prensa

«Finally, DMT had a track record of safe use in previously published human research, especially that of Dr. Szdra.» — el último argumento del protocolo; la capa de texto imprime el apellido como *Szdra* donde el volumen pone Szara

«I would recruit only experienced psychedelic users for the study. Experienced volunteers would be better able to report drug effects than those with no idea what to expect.» — el primer criterio de reclutamiento y su razón

«Finally, there were unpleasant, but real, liability issues. I had to protect myself from any lawsuits that might result if people claimed they began using psychedelics because of their participation in the study. If they had used psychedelics in the past, it would be more difficult for them to claim the study had introduced them to these drugs.» — el tercer motivo, que Strassman declara sin adornos: protegerse de demandas de quien alegara haber empezado a usar psicodélicos por el estudio

«Volunteers also would be required to be functioning at a relatively high level, working or in school, and in stable relationships. This would help assure me that they were grounded enough in everyday reality to handle what would be a rigorous and demanding study.» — el criterio de estabilidad que Strassman exige a los voluntarios

«In reviewing the techniques for measuring psychedelics' psychological effects, I concluded that all previous questionnaires presumed their effects to be unpleasant and psychotic. A newer scale with less of a bias, based on responses in people who liked psychedelics, might provide a broader perspective on their effects.» — la objeción de Strassman a los cuestionarios previos, que daban por sentado que el efecto era desagradable y psicótico, y la escala nueva que propone

«I wanted to give as much DMT as possible, so I decided that each volunteer in the study would receive a placebo and four doses of DMT—one high, one low, and two medium.» — el diseño de dosis que Strassman fija para cada voluntario

«Volunteers would receive the different DMT doses in a randomized and double-blind manner. Randomized means that the sequence of doses is in no particular order, as if a roll of the dice determined which day would involve any particular dose. Clifford Quails, Ph.D., the University of New Mexico General Clinical Research Center's biostatistician, generated a random sequence of the required doses on his computer, sealed it in an envelope, and delivered it to the pharmacy for their use.» — Strassman explica qué significa aleatorizado en su estudio y cómo el bioestadístico Clifford Quails generó y selló la secuencia

«Doubleblind means that neither the volunteers nor I would know which dose any volunteer was to receive on any particular day. Only the pharmacist possessed the list detailing the unique ordering of doses for each person.» — Strassman explica qué significa doble ciego en su estudio y quién guardaba la lista de dosis; el troceo parte por guion a fin de renglón y span() une *Double-blind* en *Doubleblind*: el impreso lleva el guion léxico y el verbatim va como lo devuelve la herramienta

«An introductory low dose of 0.05 mg/kg would let people settle in to the research setting without having an effect so strong that it might disorient them. A subsequent high dose, 0.4 mg/kg, would let volunteers experience the greatest level of intoxication they would ever reach on any subsequent double-blind day.» — el diseño de las dos primeras dosis abiertas y su razón

«We called this the "calibration dose."» — el nombre que el equipo le da a la dosis alta abierta

«Placebo comes from the Latin, meaning I shall please, or to paraphrase, I shall meet your expectations.» — la etimología con que Strassman glosa el placebo

«To expect a single drug given one time to a normal person to mimic schizophrenia is not reasonable. No one today contends that this is possible. Rather, the consensus even then was that the syndromes of psychedelic drug intoxication and schizophrenia possessed significant overlap.» — la acotación de Strassman sobre el modelo: nadie sostiene hoy que una sola dosis imite la esquizofrenia, y el consenso de entonces era solo de traslape

«In psychiatry, there are always both similarities and differences between the diseases we seek to understand and the models we use to study them. We are always in search of better models, but we use the ones we have, keeping in mind their shortcomings. The NIMH group's rejection of DMT effects as producing a "valid" psychotic state was not consistent with accepted psychiatric research theory, practice, or the data.» — la objeción de Strassman al rechazo del NIMH: en psiquiatría siempre hay parecidos y diferencias entre la enfermedad y su modelo, y se usa el que hay sabiendo sus límites

«DMT was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Rational research into its function was swept aside by the anti-psychedelic furor that accompanied these drugs' uncontrolled use and abuse.» — el juicio con que Strassman cierra el asunto: el DMT estuvo en el sitio y el momento equivocados

«The first line of response to a panic reaction would be talking people down using reassurance and support. If this didn't work, we would use a minor tranquilizer, such as injectable Valium; we would use a injection of a major tranquilizer, like Thorazine, if anyone got completely out of control. For allergic reactions, such as wheezing or a severe rash, an intravenous antihistamine was available. If blood pressure went up too high, nitroglycerin tablets under the tongue, much like the way people with angina heart pain use them, would be effective.» — el protocolo de urgencia que Strassman describe para la reacción de pánico y los efectos adversos físicos

«In it, I suggested that if people were mentally healthy, well prepared, and closely supervised before, during, and after the experience, the chances of serious and prolonged psychiatric side effects were extremely low.» — la conclusión de su propia revisión de efectos adversos que Strassman pone en el protocolo como garantía de seguridad

«In the United States, the Controlled Substances Act of 1970 exists to protect the public from potentially harmful drugs. This law also is a barrier preventing access to those drugs by the clinical research community. It is the labyrinth through which anyone who wishes to perform human research with psychedelic drugs must pass.» — Strassman define la Ley de Sustancias Controladas de 1970 por su doble efecto: protege al público y cierra el paso a la investigación clínica

«The Controlled Substances Act placed all drugs into "schedules," depending on their "abuse potential," "currently accepted medical use," and "safety of use under medical supervision."» — Strassman explica el sistema de listas y la definición de la Lista I, la más restringida

«Over the objections of dozens of high-level psychiatric researchers, including Dr. Daniel Freedman, Congress placed LSD and all the other psychedelic drugs into Schedule I.» — Strassman consigna que el Congreso puso el LSD y los demás psicodélicos en la Lista I pese a la objeción de decenas de investigadores, entre ellos Daniel Freedman

«In the case of the psychedelics, the high abuse potential that lawmakers noted was not the compulsive, out-of-control use commonly seen with drugs like heroin and cocaine. Psychedelics don't cause craving or withdrawal. In fact, one of their hallmarks is that they produce almost no effects after three or four daily doses, and abruptly stopping them causes no withdrawal.» — la precisión farmacológica de Strassman: los psicodélicos no causan ansia ni síndrome de abstinencia, y el abuso que se les atribuyó no es el del opiáceo ni el de la cocaína

«Rather, it was their acute effects that were so profoundly disruptive and at times disabling. Because of those highly destabilizing effects, Congress decided psychedelics must be tightly regulated.» — la razón que Strassman adjudica al Congreso: lo disruptivo del efecto agudo

«In order to turn this tide of abuse, Congress emphasized psychedelics' negative properties at the expense of their positive or neutral ones. What one day was "safety under medical supervision" became "lack of safety under medical supervision" the next. "Medical utility" as research and training tools and aids to psychotherapy quickly changed into "no currently acceptable medical use."» — la inversión de términos que Strassman describe: lo que un día era seguridad bajo supervisión médica pasó a ser falta de seguridad, y la utilidad médica a no tener uso aceptado

«The process began in December 1988. I kept a log during the next two years of every phone call, letter, meeting, fax, and discussion related to 89-001, the DMT protocol.» — Strassman consigna el registro que llevó durante dos años de cada llamada, carta, reunión y fax del trámite

«I referred to this article as the "what if I'm run over by a bus?" paper. It was important that other people knew how to wind their way through this maze. It was possible, and there was a route through it. If nothing else came of the DMT project, I wanted to leave behind this map for success.» — el nombre y el propósito que Strassman le da al artículo con que documentó el trámite: dejar el mapa del laberinto por si él faltaba

«It was incredibly fortunate that the chairman of the crucial ethics committee was a firm believer in libertarianism; that is, that the individual takes precedence over the state. He believed that educated people could make up their own minds. His motto, as head of one of the first and most important review panels, was great encouragement: "We're not here to play God.» — Strassman adjudica al presidente del comité de ética una convicción libertaria y recoge su lema en su propia voz

«The informed consent document is a crucial element of human research. In it, the researcher describes the objectives of the protocol, and why he or she is performing it. The consent states exactly, and in mind-numbing detail, what to expect from participating. It lists the potential risks and benefits associated with volunteering, details how the research team will manage risks, and notes that volunteers will receive all necessary treatment for adverse effects free of charge. The consent reminds the potential research subject that participation is totally voluntary and ongoing.» — Strassman describe qué debe decir el consentimiento informado y qué derechos consigna al voluntario. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y el derecho de retirarse se completa en la 115

«The DEA would decide if I would be allowed to possess DMT. If granted, this permission would take the form of a Schedule I permit.» — el reparto de competencias que Strassman describe: la DEA decide sobre la posesión

«The FDA would decide if it was safe and worthwhile to give DMT to human research volunteers in my study. If granted, the FDA's permission would take the form of an Investigational New Drug (IND) permit.» — la otra mitad del reparto: la FDA decide sobre la administración a humanos

«I did not want to lull volunteers into thinking it would be an easy day, but I also did not want to scare them away by emphasizing potential negative effects.» — el equilibrio que Strassman dice haber buscado al redactar el consentimiento

«I understand that the primary effects of this drug are psychological. Visual and/or auditory hallucinations or other perceptual distortions may occur. My sense of time may be altered (short lengths of time passing slowly or vice versa). I may experience very powerful emotions, pleasurable or unpleasant. Opposite feelings or thoughts may be experienced at the same time. I may be extremely sensitive» — la primera mitad del texto del consentimiento informado, en primera persona del voluntario: alucinaciones, distorsión del tiempo, emociones muy poderosas y sentimientos opuestos a la vez. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y sigue en la 116

«and aware of the environment; on the other hand, I may not notice anything at all in the environment. It may feel like my body and mind have separated. Feelings of impending or actual death or confusion may occur. Euphoria is very common. The onset of the experience is rapid, the experience being very intense with the higher doses within 30 seconds. It peaks within 2 to 5 minutes and is usually felt as only a mild intoxication within 20 to 30 minutes. I will quite likely feel like my normal self within an hour after the injection.» — la segunda mitad del consentimiento, en la plana siguiente: la separación de cuerpo y mente, el sentimiento de muerte inminente o real, la euforia, y los tiempos del efecto desde los treinta segundos hasta la vuelta a la normalidad en una hora. Tramo largo releído entero en el crudo

«The main effects of DMT are psychological and have been described above. These usually last less than 1 hour. Rarely, emotional reactions to these effects may last longer (i.e., 24 to 48 hours). I can stay at the Research Center as long as necessary to regain my equilibrium, including overnight if desired. . . . DMT is physically safe. Mild to moderate brief increases in blood pressure and heart rate occur.» — el apartado de riesgos del consentimiento, en primera persona: efectos de menos de una hora, reacciones emocionales raras de hasta cuarenta y ocho horas, y la declaración de que el DMT es físicamente seguro

«There are no benefits to me personally as a result of participating in this research. However, the potential benefits are a greater» — la cláusula de beneficios del consentimiento, que Strassman redactó sin prometer ninguno al voluntario. El troceo reemite aquí la marca de la plana 116 al abrir chunk y corta la frase, que termina dentro de la misma plana con la comprensión del mecanismo de los agentes alucinógenos

«Within a week of submitting the DMT study, the ethics committee asked me to include the phrase "no currently accepted medical use" in the informed consent's introductory paragraph. I replied by suggesting this phrase would unnecessarily frighten off prospective volunteers. In addition, if I ever did get permission to run the study, the phrase would no longer, strictly speaking, be true. It then would have currently accepted medical use; in this case, as a clinical research tool. They accepted this answer.» — el forcejeo con el comité de ética por la frase sobre el uso médico aceptado, y el argumento con que Strassman lo ganó: si el estudio se autorizaba, la frase dejaría de ser cierta

«Nearly all the DMT volunteers had jobs and families, neither of which they cared to endanger by admitting to the use of illegal drugs. Confession to having broken the law was a prerequisite for enrolling in the study, since only experienced psychedelic drug users could participate.» — la razón del anonimato que Strassman explica: confesar un delito era requisito de ingreso, porque solo entraban usuarios experimentados

«Each volunteer then received a code number, such as DMT-3. From that point on, this anonymous identification was the only one they possessed, and I was the only person who knew the key.» — el mecanismo de anonimato: un número de código por voluntario y una sola persona con la clave

«As it turns out, in five years of studies with over sixty DMT volunteers, not one breach of confidentiality or anonymity ever occurred. Neither have there been, five years since the studies' completion, any requests by the authorities to review volunteers' charts.» — el balance que Strassman da del anonimato cinco años después: ninguna brecha y ninguna solicitud de las autoridades

«The Research Center asked me to keep volunteers in the hospital overnight, to make sure they were watched by the nursing staff for a full day after their participation. I replied that this would cut down on the number of prospective volunteers. Previous DMT studies had sent their volunteers home in the afternoon, following morning studies, with good safety results. They accepted this.» — otro forcejeo, ahora con el centro de investigación, sobre la pernocta obligatoria de los voluntarios

«Within a month, on February 19,1989, the Research Center approved the DMT protocol. They also agreed to fund my request for testing hormone levels and for developing a method of measuring DMT in human blood.» — Strassman fecha el 19 de febrero de 1989 la aprobación del centro de investigación; la capa de texto funde el año con el día y deja *19,1989*

«Three days later, the Human Research Ethics Committee also approved the study.» — Strassman fecha tres días después la aprobación del comité de ética

«She found several breaches in security and asked us to get a locked freezer. That freezer was to be placed in the locked narcotics vault. She said I could not have a copy of the freezer key—only the hospital pharmacists should. If any of the drug ended up missing, they didn't want to suspect me of stealing it.» — lo que la agente de la DEA a quien el libro llama Agent D. exigió en la farmacia, incluida la prohibición de que Strassman tuviera llave del congelador

«Well, that won't land you in jail." And, "Don't worry—we won't take you away in handcuffs for that.» — las bromas de la agente D. en su propia voz, que Strassman consigna como inquietantes

«It's your ass on the line. If anything goes wrong—theft, loss, bad record keeping—we look to you for explanations.» — el resumen de la agente D. en su propia voz sobre de quién es la responsabilidad

«By the way, where will you get the DMT you'll give to your volunteers?» — la última pregunta de la agente D., que Strassman consigna como la más perturbadora de la visita

«Obtaining human-grade DMT was going to be more complicated, as it called for Sigma putting together specific documentation for the FDA, a "drug master file." Sigma recommended contacting the investigators who administered DMT to humans in previous studies to find out who had supplied them. Sigma then would know how much detail to provide the FDA.» — el nudo del capítulo: conseguir DMT de grado humano exigía un expediente maestro del fármaco ante la FDA

«I obtained a list of all the currently active investigational drug permits in the country so that I could contact anyone who possessed one for DMT. Unfortunately, there weren't any. My request to find out about the existence of old permits, using the Freedom of Information Act, was not successful. There were no records or files at the FDA for previous DMT permits.» — el resultado de la búsqueda de antecedentes: ningún permiso activo para DMT en el país y ningún expediente viejo en la FDA

«Sigma replied that their European DMT supplier refused to release any such information—it was a trade secret.» — el obstáculo comercial que Strassman consigna: el proveedor europeo de Sigma se negó a revelar cómo se fabricaba el DMT

«I asked Ms. R. why the FDA was requiring more information about DMT than they did about melatonin for my previous research. She replied, "It's case by case.» — la respuesta de la química de la FDA a quien el libro llama Ms. R., en su propia voz, cuando Strassman pregunta por qué le piden más que para la melatonina

«A densely worded letter arrived from the FDA in August 1989, spelling out twenty separate requirements the human-grade DMT must meet. There were no questions about general toxicity, which would require complicated and expensive animal testing. Nor were there concerns about the study's scientific merit. On those counts, in any event, I was encouraged.» — Strassman fecha en agosto de 1989 la carta de la FDA con veinte requisitos para el DMT de grado humano, y consigna lo que la carta no pedía: toxicidad general ni mérito científico

«He recommended Dr. K. at the National Institute of Mental Health, who directed a program that made hard-tofind research drugs. Dr. K. said his contract prohibited use of his compounds in humans, although perhaps in the future he might request to synthesize human-grade drugs.» — la cadena de recomendaciones que Strassman va siguiendo y el límite contractual con que se topa

«We just told them it was pure— '95 percent, more or less.' Things were a lot looser then.» — lo que le dice el proveedor de Chicago a quien el libro llama Lou G., en su propia voz, sobre cómo se surtía el DMT a los investigadores de antes

«I don't want the liability. I don't have insurance for human use. It's not in my contract.» — la negativa del director del laboratorio a quien el libro llama Dr. C., en su propia voz

«We've got a contract with Dr. C. They make what we ask them. There's another laboratory that prepares their drugs for human use. I think the bigger issue is that there's not a lot of movement on DMT these days. It wouldn't be very cost-effective for us to use much money from our contract for such an obscure drug. Let me see what I can find out.» — la respuesta del funcionario de NIDA a quien el libro llama Mr. W., en su propia voz: no sería costeable gastar el contrato en un fármaco tan oscuro

«Dr. C.'s estimate of the cost was over $50,000. "Well," I said, "thanks for looking into it." Another door closed.» — la cifra que cierra esa vía y la fórmula con que Strassman la consigna

«The data in them are terrible," she said. "There's nothing—no animal data, no chemistry data. We closed it. They never responded to our requests for progress reports. It won't help you.» — lo que Ms. R. encuentra en el Archivo Federal sobre los estudios viejos de DMT, en su propia voz: ningún dato animal ni químico y el expediente cerrado

«How did you ever approve that study?" "I don't know. I didn't work here then.» — el intercambio con Ms. R. sobre cómo se aprobó aquel estudio antiguo, con su respuesta en su propia voz

«The information she sent was designed for a large drug company such as Lilly, Merck, or Pfizer. It had nothing to do with an individual investigator.» — la desproporción que Strassman señala entre el formato que la FDA maneja y un investigador solo

«This is Dr. W.!," boomed the friendly but commanding voice on the other end of the line. "I'm the only physician on the drug abuse staff in this new division. I know what you've been going through. We're here to help. Don't despair.» — la entrada del médico de la FDA a quien el libro llama Dr. W., en su propia voz, que Strassman marca como el punto de giro del trámite

«I felt something shift with that phone conversation.» — la frase con que Strassman marca ese giro

«I called Dave Nichols. He quoted me a price of $300—just the cost of supplies.» — el precio que David Nichols le pone al DMT, que es el costo de los insumos

«In looking over some of the old DMT and schizophrenia research, it appeared that the Scottish Rite Foundation, a branch of the Freemasons, had funded some of it through their Schizophrenia Research program.» — Strassman consigna de dónde salió parte del financiamiento de la investigación antigua sobre DMT y esquizofrenia: la Scottish Rite Foundation, que llama rama de los francmasones

«I wrote Dr. Freedman, telling him of my grant submission to the Scottish Rite Foundation. He replied that he was on their scientific review committee, and "maybe" they would fund a year's support. Within a month, in September 1989, a notification of award arrived announcing a one-year grant for the project.» — Strassman consigna que Freedman estaba en el comité de revisión de esa fundación y que el apoyo llegó en septiembre de 1989

«Strassman needs someone at NIDA responsive. Any suggestions??» — la nota telegráfica de Daniel Freedman al director de NIDA, en su propia letra, con los dos signos de interrogación tal como los imprime el volumen

«I've looked everywhere for human-grade DMT: Sigma and another chemical supply house, the National Institute on Drug Abuse, the National Institute of Mental Health, former investigators, Dr. C. in North Carolina. Dave Nichols is willing to make some for me, incredibly cheap. He needs your okay. I've got an outside grant, and the Research Center at the university is behind this project. I'm losing my mind. I'm pulling out my hair. My gums are bleeding. I'm getting on my wife's nerves.» — el desahogo de Strassman ante la funcionaria de la DEA a quien el libro llama Ms. B., que él mismo consigna como el momento en que sintió que perdía el control

«Oh," she said, sounding genuinely concerned. "Let me see here. . . Yes, there's a 'coincidental activities' clause in the regulations. Dr. Nichols can make a small batch if you're collaborating. This won't require any additional security for his laboratory.» — la cláusula de actividades coincidentes con que Ms. B. destraba el trámite, en su propia voz

«He confided that "off the record," my project was pointing out a flaw in the drug laws: How do researchers study drugs of abuse?» — lo que el Dr. W. le confía fuera de registro: el proyecto dejaba ver una falla de las leyes de drogas

«The DEA would approve neither Dave's request to make DMT nor my Schedule I permit to possess it until the FDA approved the protocol. The FDA couldn't give me permission until I possessed the drug and tested it for safety. The DEA also required verification from the FDA that Dave could go ahead and make the drug.» — el círculo cerrado del trámite que Strassman describe: cada agencia esperaba a la otra

«Two grants approved, but no drug! It was bizarre. Everyone wanted the study done, but no one knew how to get me the drug necessary to perform it.» — la paradoja con que Strassman resume la situación a principios de 1990

«Diversion Control blocked the permit.» — el aviso de la funcionaria de la DEA a quien el libro llama Ms. L., en su propia voz

«I'm sorry. Dr. Nichols is making another drug, and we mixed up that one with your DMT request. My error. You may go ahead as you were planning.» — la rectificación de Ms. B. en su propia voz tras confundir el pedido de Nichols con otro

«You'd be sued first, then your university, then maybe the FDA, and last and most remotely Dr. Nichols. All he's doing is making it according to FDA regulations. He's not deciding who gives what dose to whom—that's your responsibility.» — el reparto de responsabilidad legal que le da el abogado de NIDA, en su propia voz

«I hope you know what you're doing. This is a real leap of faith for me and our lawyers.» — lo que David Nichols le dice al aceptar fabricar el DMT, en su propia voz

«By July 1990, Dave had made the drug and was running all the tests» — Strassman fecha en julio de 1990 la fabricación del DMT por David Nichols y las pruebas de identidad y pureza que la FDA exigía. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la frase termina en la 130

«In early July he sent five grams of DMT to my clinic by overnight courier. I kept it in my office that day and drove to the hospital pharmacy to deliver it before going home.» — el envío de cinco gramos de DMT a la clínica por mensajería de un día, y el trayecto que Strassman hace con ellos hasta la farmacia del hospital

«Get everything together, and send it to Ms. R. the chemist and Ms. P. Call them a week later. They'll say they never saw your letter. Then call me in two weeks if you don't hear anything after that. Some poor guy got his approval and waited a month before we found someone to type the letter to him.» — el consejo práctico del Dr. W. sobre cómo tratar con su propia oficina, en su propia voz

«By late October all the tests were complete, and the DMT passed every one. I put together my package and sent it to the FDA by overnight mail.» — Strassman fecha a fines de octubre de 1990 el envío del expediente completo a la FDA

«On November 5,1990, Ms. M., my project officer, called at the end of the day. "Your hold has been removed.» — el aviso con que se levanta la suspensión, en la voz de la oficial de proyecto; la capa de texto funde la fecha y deja *5,1990*

«They said I could start." I lay down on the cold cement floor, staring up at the ceiling.» — la escena con que Strassman consigna el momento en que llega el permiso, tendido en el piso de cemento del taller de tejido de su entonces esposa

«That day, the university laboratory called to tell me the DMT in the glass vials had decomposed by 30 percent; it was too weak to use.» — el susto de última hora: el laboratorio reporta que el DMT se había descompuesto un treinta por ciento

«It's not free base. It's a salt.» — la corrección que Strassman le hace al técnico, que deshace el susto: el cálculo se había hecho sobre la base libre y no sobre la sal

«Four days later, I gave Philip the first dose of DMT.» — la frase con que cierra el capítulo del laberinto y empalma con el prólogo

«I was reluctant to advertise. Such an announcement might have resulted in a flood of calls, and I did not have the time to speak to everyone with a casual interest. A public call for research subjects also might find its way to the local media and would draw unwanted attention.» — las dos razones por las que Strassman no anunció el estudio: el volumen de llamadas y la atención de la prensa local

«Upon considering recruiting UNM students, I remembered the trouble that Leary and his associates encountered at Harvard when they included undergraduates into their program. If I were to canvas the university for volunteers, they would need to be graduate students, rather than the younger and less mature undergraduates.» — Strassman explica su criterio de reclutar solo estudiantes de posgrado por lo que recuerda del caso de Leary en Harvard. La capitular del capítulo se pierde en la capa de texto

«dents developed an "us" versus "them" mentality that contributed to intense conflicts within departments between those participating in psychedelic research and those who were not. Such envious and competitive ill will at Harvard was a significant factor in the ultimate expulsion of Leary's group.» — la lectura que Strassman hace del caso Harvard: una mentalidad de nosotros contra ellos que enfrentó a los departamentos y pesó en la expulsión del grupo de Leary. El verbatim arranca a media palabra tras el cruce de plana, donde el troceo parte *students*

«The nearly three dozen remaining people found out about the study by word of mouth; they were friends of volunteers, received psychedelic newsletters describing the Albuquerque research, or just happened to be in a conversation during which the studies were discussed.» — Strassman consigna cómo llegó la mayoría de los voluntarios: de boca en boca, por boletines psicodélicos o por conversación

«For the sake of convenience, I will invent a hypothetical volunteer named Alex, a thirty-two-year-old married male who worked as a software programmer outside of Santa Fe. Since most of our research subjects were men, I hope no one is put off by making our generic volunteer male.» — el recurso narrativo que Strassman declara: un voluntario inventado, Alex, y la razón de hacerlo varón

«stage, he might decide to leave the area halfway through the study. If his ability to sustain relationships appeared tenuous, he might not be able to bear up in the face of the powerfully destabilizing effects of DMT.» — el criterio de estabilidad vital con que Strassman filtra a los candidatos: la vida en caos, la etapa de transición y la dificultad para sostener relaciones. El verbatim arranca donde el troceo reemite la marca de la plana 135 al abrir chunk, a media oración

«The number of his experiences was not as important as their having been fully psychedelic. Because his high-dose DMT sessions probably would propel him further into psychedelic space than he had ever gone before, I wanted to be reasonably certain Alex was at least familiar with the terrain.» — el criterio de experiencia previa: no importa cuántas veces sino que hayan sido plenamente psicodélicas

«What's the furthest out you've ever been on a psychedelic?" I asked Alex. "Have you thought you died? What about losing all connection to your body and the outside world?» — las preguntas con que Strassman sondea el alcance de la experiencia previa del candidato

«Just as critical was finding out if Alex was steady and responsible under the influence. In a way, I was more interested in hearing about bad trips than I was the beautiful ones, because I knew our setting would tend toward producing some unpleasant moments.» — el segundo criterio, y la razón por la que a Strassman le interesan más los malos viajes que los hermosos

«The nature of psychedelic research ideally is highly collaborative. In addition to my comfort level with Alex, he had the right, and the responsibility to himself, to know how he'd feel about my giving him DMT. Alex asked about my motivations for the research, what I hoped to find, and how we supervised sessions. He wondered if I had a religious practice, and about my own experience with psychedelics. The way I handled his concerns and questions provided him with important emotional information.» — la reciprocidad que Strassman declara: el voluntario también lo examina a él, y le pregunta por sus motivos y por su propia práctica religiosa

«Asking Alex sometimes embarrassing health questions, touching, and otherwise relating at a fundamental and physical level helped establish a foundation of trust and familiarity upon which I hoped we could rely when he was in the throes of powerful, disorienting, and potentially regressive DMT sessions.» — el uso que Strassman le da al examen físico: fundar confianza y familiaridad antes de la sesión

«In women's cases, we needed to standardize when in the menstrual cycle we studied them. We arranged for the women's first two doses, and all subsequent ones, to occur during the first ten days after their menstrual bleeding stopped.» — el criterio con que Strassman estandariza las sesiones de las voluntarias dentro del ciclo menstrual

«Hi, DMT-22," she said. "How are you doing?" "Fine, although it's weird being called DMT-22." "Oh, don't worry. We're used to it. Here, let me put your ID band on you.» — el diálogo con la enfermera de planta que Strassman reproduce para mostrar cómo se vivía el anonimato por número

«For example, occasionally we had to use a lead-lined room at the very end of the ward designed for patients who were receiving radioactive implants for cancer. Other days we might need to use the "traction room," where patients stayed who suffered from multiple trauma and fractured bones. A "cage" over the bed provided several convenient access points from which to attach ropes, pulleys, and cables for suspending casted broken limbs.» — los cuartos con que el estudio tuvo que arreglarse al principio: el forrado de plomo para implantes radiactivos y el de tracción con su jaula sobre la cama

«A few volunteers professed that they didn't mind the cage, but I found it intimidating and disconcerting. After one or two sessions maneuvering around it, I made certain to disassemble this structure before we got started.» — la decisión que Strassman toma sobre esa jaula, y su propio malestar declarado

«We needed a nicer room. I requested to remodel a room on the ward over which we would have scheduling priority. The budget in my grant from the National Institute on Drug Abuse included funds for this renovation. We chose Room 531.» — Strassman consigna la remodelación del cuarto 531 con fondos del National Institute on Drug Abuse

«And, after one particularly unnerving session in which the public address system blared repeatedly from the speaker in the ceiling, the electrician designed a switch, controlled at the nurses' station, that turned off the room's speaker.» — una de las modificaciones del cuarto, nacida de una sesión arruinada por el altavoz del hospital

«My former wife, a tapestry artist, and I pored over dozens of swatches of material for the chairs before finding one that met all our needs. The design needed to be relatively soothing, but not so dull as to dampen or depress the volunteers' mood and perceptions upon opening their eyes. Another requirement was that it be consistent with the particular type of visual effects wrought by DMT, but not so stimulating that volunteers would be startled or disoriented looking at the furniture in their highly altered state.» — el cuidado con que se eligió la tela de los sillones, entre no deprimir el ánimo y no sobreestimular la vista bajo DMT

«The best fit was a pleasing blue, subtly multicolored, with speckles, flecks, and patterns embedded within it. A solid light blue carpet and soothing pale blue paint covering the formerly bright white walls were the final pieces of the refurbishing effort.» — el resultado de esa elección: azul con motas y vetas, alfombra azul claro y paredes azul pálido en lugar del blanco

«In addition, the bathroom shared a wall with the shower between our room and the next. When someone used the shower, we could hear it quite well. If that person happened to be ill, their coughs, groans, and cries were audible through the wall.» — uno de los límites que quedaron pese a la remodelación: la regadera compartida con el cuarto vecino, con las toses y quejas de quien la usara. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana: la enumeración empieza en la 138

«The busy Albuquerque International Airport and a major U.S. Air Force base were only five miles south of the hospital. While flight patterns usually were concentrated south of town, away from the hospital, weather occasionally forced jets to fly overhead. The noise, although buffered by double-paned windows, could be jarring. Sounds from the hospital grounds also could be grating, especially those arising from the trash compactor located right below Room 531's window.» — los ruidos de fuera que el estudio no pudo controlar: los aviones y el compactador de basura bajo la ventana

«measure temperature several times before, during, and after DMT administration. The least trouble was to have the thermometer in place throughout the session, rather than requiring Alex to actively interact with yet one more piece of equipment. And the most accurate temperature readings are from the rectum. All these factors added up to a rectal probe.» — el razonamiento que llevó al equipo a la sonda rectal para medir la temperatura sin que el voluntario tuviera que interactuar con otro aparato. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana: el nombre del aparato se da en la 139

«The probe was about an eighth of an inch in diameter; it was made out of rubber-coated wire and was quite flexible. It went in about four to six inches and rarely caused any discomfort, except in those with hemorrhoids. Despite being taped in place, it sometimes slipped out if a volunteer was especially restless during the session. Only Nils refused the rectal probe.» — la descripción de la sonda y el único voluntario que la rechazó

«In bold letters, a sign commanded, "DON'T RING MORE THAN ONCE. PUSH GENTLY AND QUICKLY AFTER THE DOOR UN-LOCKS.» — el letrero de la farmacia del hospital, en versales tal como lo imprime el volumen; las versales son del letrero y no de un encabezado corrido, aunque folio-en-verbatim las marque

«He only capped the syringe, because attaching a needle was cumbersome and potentially dangerous—he might accidentally inject himself with DMT.» — la precaución del farmacéutico que Strassman consigna

«The drug solution in the syringe was frozen, and I put it in my breast pocket so that it could begin to thaw while I signed various forms.» — el detalle del traslado: la jeringa congelada en el bolsillo de la camisa mientras firmaba

«They had heard enough strange stories from the volunteers, and sometimes even yells and cries from the study room, to know that something serious was about to begin.» — lo que el personal de enfermería sabía de esas sesiones, por los relatos y por los gritos que llegaban del cuarto

«They were afraid that if a drop or two of DMT leaked into one of their vials, it might cause an unwelcome and unexpected "trip" in one of the ward's other residents.» — el temor del personal que Strassman consigna, y por el que se separaban los frascos de solución salina

«Initiating my own ritual while talking and listening, I placed my yellow notepad in a clipboard and wrote down Alex's DMT number, the date, the protocol number, and the dose. In the left-hand margin, I scribbled a column of minutes at which I would measure blood pressure and heart rate: -30, -1, 2, 5, 10, 15, 30.» — el ritual propio de Strassman antes de cada sesión, con la columna de minutos en que tomaría presión y pulso

«A volunteer's dreams the night before a study might give us insights into fears, hopes, and wishes about the upcoming session, or about previous ones.» — el uso que Strassman le da a la pregunta por los sueños de la víspera

«sessions. Relationship problems, career or school concerns, spiritual or religious issues raised by participation in this research—all these were important to air before beginning such deep and profound journeying through the DMT realms.» — Strassman consigna qué se ventilaba en esas conversaciones previas, incluidas las cuestiones espirituales o religiosas que la investigación levantaba. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana: la oración empieza en la 142

«We won't do much after the DMT's in you. We'll sit quietly, be alert, pay attention to you, be available, hold good thoughts and feelings for you. If you need human contact, just put out your hand and someone will take it. If you lose control, we're here to help. Otherwise, this is your experience, not ours. You're pretty much on your own.» — las instrucciones que Strassman le da al voluntario antes de inyectar, con el límite declarado: la experiencia es suya, no del equipo

«In the first series of DMT studies, I recommended that volunteers close their eyes to start, and open them as effects began fading. Sometimes, however, the shock of the first minute or two of the high-dose DMT experience would cause an almost reflex opening of the eyes in an attempt to orient. This almost always made things worse. The room, already rather forbidding, could take on even more troubling overtones, and the research nurse and I, our visages hopelessly transfigured, did not look much more appealing.» — por qué el equipo cambió de método: abrir los ojos en el primer minuto de dosis alta empeoraba casi siempre las cosas

«Now we placed black eyeshades on all the volunteers at this point in the session. The eyeshades were the soft satin ones airline travelers use, or those who need to sleep during daylight hours. It was difficult finding any at the local drugstores.» — la solución que adoptaron, los antifaces negros, con la dificultad práctica de conseguirlos

«Spend as much time as you like getting ready. It might help to focus on your breath, how your body feels on the bed. That will start the process of letting go.» — la indicación de Strassman para la preparación inmediata: atender a la respiración y al cuerpo sobre la cama

«The ebb and flow of tension in the room at this point was always fascinating. Only one of our many volunteers had ever used a recreational drug intravenously before, and no one had taken a psychedelic that way. The novelty of this element itself was sufficient to get all our nerve endings more alert than usual.» — lo que Strassman consigna de la tensión del cuarto: casi nadie había usado nunca una droga por vía intravenosa, y ninguno un psicodélico así

«However, there was no guarantee that this minor dose might not have some major effects. Several people did drop out after this first session. Others we had to excuse because their blood pressure surpassed our predetermined cutoff point.» — la reserva de Strassman sobre la dosis baja: hubo quien se salió del estudio tras esa primera sesión y a quien hubo que excluir por presión arterial

«Alex, it starts fast. Perhaps even before the injection is done. It can be a little frightening. Do your best to remain alert and relaxed, poised but passive. The effects will peak in a couple of minutes.» — la instrucción de Strassman al voluntario sobre el arranque del efecto: alerta y relajado, dispuesto pero pasivo

«Then relax and wait a while until you decide to start talking. It's tempting to speak right away, but you'll miss some of the subtle coming-down effects if you don't wait at least 10 or 15 minutes, even today.» — la segunda instrucción: no hablar enseguida para no perderse los efectos sutiles de la bajada

«For the deep letting go and relaxing necessary to successfully experience the full effects of DMT, it was best if the volunteers were lying down for the injection. Otherwise, there might be a lot of fussing involved with maneuvering Alex into a more comfortable position as he was losing normal awareness of his body and the rush of psychedelic effects began.» — la razón práctica de inyectar con el voluntario acostado

«Gently pressing on the plunger of the syringe, I hoped there would be no obstruction, which would indicate a clot or that the needle had worked its way loose out of the vein.» — lo que Strassman vigila al empujar el émbolo: que no haya obstrucción por coágulo o aguja suelta

«Don't eat or drink too much tonight. Get a good night's sleep. Remember to skip breakfast. If you must have coffee, make sure you drink it at least two hours before you come in.» — las indicaciones de Strassman para la víspera de la dosis alta

«This was commonsense advice. If the DMT brought on intense nausea, it was best to have an empty stomach. However, it wasn't worth bringing on a coffee-withdrawal headache.» — la razón de esas indicaciones, con su matiz: estómago vacío, pero sin provocar dolor de cabeza por abstinencia de café

«Low dose tolerated without incident. Patient sent home on overnight pass from the hospital. Will return tomorrow a.m. for high dose.» — la nota que Strassman escribe en el expediente del voluntario tras la dosis baja

«It comes on just as fast, but it's a lot stronger. It may startle you. Don't bother trying to resist, because it's usually impossible.» — la advertencia de Strassman antes de la dosis alta: no vale la pena resistirse

«I usually breath deeply and slowly. That's something I learned from my years of meditation. Or I may touch these," he said, fingering his necklace of Tibetan prayer beads.» — el recurso del voluntario en su propia voz, que sale de sus años de meditación, y el rosario tibetano que lleva al cuello. La capa de texto imprime *breath* donde el volumen pone *breathe*

«Other volunteers might hold a fetish, a rock or piece of wood. Some might hum, sing, or chant. A few evoked the image of a teacher, friend, or loved one. Those with a deep and sustained meditation practice started meditating before the DMT went in and tried to maintain that mental balance throughout the session.» — los recursos que Strassman recoge de otros voluntarios: un objeto, el canto, la imagen de un maestro o un ser querido, y la meditación sostenida desde antes de la inyección

«Sometimes people think they've died, or are dying, or that we've overdosed them. So far, no one's been injured. This is a physically safe dose, although your blood pressure and heart rate will probably take a nice jump. We can respond if there are problems.» — lo que Strassman previene al voluntario sobre la sensación de morir, con la garantía de seguridad física

«If you think you've died, there's two ways I tell people they can deal with it. One is 'Man, I'm dying, and I'm going to kick and scream and try and stop it.' The other is 'Okay, I'm dying, now let's see what this is like. Very interesting.' Easier said than done, of course.» — las dos maneras de tratar con la sensación de morir que Strassman ofrece, con su propia acotación de que es más fácil decirlo que hacerlo

«My feelings at this point were always intense and contradictory: jealousy of his impending fantastic experience, sadness for any pain he might undergo, doubt mixed with certainty regarding the wisdom of what I was doing.» — lo que Strassman declara sentir al inyectar: envidia por la experiencia del otro, tristeza por el dolor posible, y duda mezclada con certeza sobre la sabiduría de lo que hacía

«Time was speeding up and slowing down at the same time. My movements felt quick, but also leaden. Was Alex going to be all right? Could he manage his trip? I felt my heart beating in my chest. Could we manage his trip?» — el estado del propio Strassman en los segundos que siguen a la inyección

«welve subjects participated in the original dose-response study, which took most of 1991 to perform. They each received non-blind low and high doses of DMT and subsequently got the same doses double-blind. Two intermediate doses and a saline placebo completed this series of injections.» — el diseño y el tamaño del estudio de dosis y respuesta, que ocupó casi todo 1991. La capitular se pierde en la capa de texto y el renglón arranca en *welve* donde el impreso pone *Twelve*

«Tolerance occurs when the same dose of a drug produces smaller effects when taken repeatedly. LSD, psilocybin, and mescaline all produce rapid and nearly complete tolerance after three or four daily doses. In other words, an amount that had quite profound psychedelic effects on the first day, given every day, would be barely noticeable on the fourth.» — la definición de tolerancia que da Strassman y el comportamiento del LSD, la psilocibina y la mescalina

«DMT appeared unique in that tolerance was quite difficult to demonstrate, even in animals given full doses every two hours around the clock for twenty-one days in a row. The only published human study couldn't elicit tolerance when researchers gave full intramuscular doses twice a day for five days.» — la singularidad del DMT que Strassman consigna: ni en animales con dosis cada dos horas durante veintiún días ni en el único estudio humano publicado se logró tolerancia

«DMT's lack of tolerance development also was one of the factors making it a likely naturally occurring schizotoxin. If tolerance to endogenous DMT did develop, psychotic symptoms of schizophrenia, for example, would last only as long as it took for tolerance to build up. Since psychotic symptoms are usually chronic and constant, demonstrating that DMT could not elicit tolerance would be powerful evidence that it could play a role in these disorders.» — el argumento que Strassman construye desde la falta de tolerancia hacia la hipótesis de la esquizotoxina endógena

«The brevity of DMT's action seemed to limit its usefulness as a tool for any inner psychological or spiritual work. All one could do was hold on tight through the rush. By the time volunteers got their bearings, they were already coming down. Repeated entrance into the DMT state might provide better conditions for applying its incredibly profound psychedelic properties.» — la razón práctica del estudio de tolerancia: la brevedad del efecto limita su uso para el trabajo interior

«After two months of trial and error, I determined that the best regime was four injections of 0.3 mg/kg DMT given at 30-minute intervals. This dose, while highly psychedelic, was just below our highest, 0.4 mg/kg.» — el régimen que Strassman fija para el estudio de tolerancia tras dos meses de ensayo y error

«One man, Cal, was able to manage four 0.4 mg/kg injections at half-hour intervals. However, his wife, Linda, was completely spent after three doses and refused the fourth and final one during this preliminary work. Remembering the harrowing nature of giving too much DMT to Philip and Nils, I backed off without argument and settled for one notch less.» — la razón por la que Strassman baja la dosis del estudio de tolerancia: la voluntaria a quien el libro llama Linda rechazó la cuarta, y él prefirió no discutir

«While the tolerance experiment was double-blind and saline-placebo-controlled, the "blind" became apparent within a few seconds of the first injection. It was either a big dose of DMT or saline. And, if it was DMT, there would be three more big trips before the morning was over.» — la acotación de Strassman sobre el doble ciego en ese estudio: se rompía solo a los pocos segundos de la primera inyección

«This study showed that there was no tolerance to the psychological effects of repeated DMT injections. The experience was as intensely psychedelic the fourth time as it was the first. Because of this, and as I had hoped, subjects were much more able to process and do something with the repeated high dose than with a single isolated experience. Many of the most moving tales from DMT volunteers in the following chapters derive from this study.» — el resultado del estudio de tolerancia y su consecuencia para el libro: la cuarta vez era tan intensa como la primera, y de ahí salen muchos de los relatos que siguen

«The first of these was the pindolol project. Pindolol is a drug used in medical practice to lower high blood pressure. It does this by blocking certain adrenaline receptors. Another property of pindolol is that it obstructs one particular type of serotonin receptor in the brain, the serotonin "1A" site. Since DMT attaches firmly to 1A receptors in animal brains, this site might be involved in DMT's effects.» — el planteamiento del estudio con pindolol: bloquea el receptor de serotonina 1A, al que el DMT se fija con fuerza en cerebros animales

«As it turned out, pindolol markedly enhanced the psychological and blood pressure effects of DMT.» — el resultado del estudio con pindolol, contrario a lo buscado: lejos de bloquear, potenció los efectos psicológicos y de presión arterial del DMT

«The next serotonin receptor blockade study used cyproheptadine, an antihistamine drug with additional anti-serotonin properties. In this case, cyproheptadine prevents drugs from attaching to the serotonin "2" site, the receptor researchers believe is the most important in controlling how psychedelics work.» — el diseño del estudio con ciproheptadina y el receptor que bloquea, el que la investigación tiene por central en los psicodélicos

«However, the sedating properties of the drug were so pronounced that they complicated interpretation of the data.» — el límite del estudio con ciproheptadina que Strassman declara: la sedación era tan marcada que enturbiaba la lectura de los datos. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la frase sigue en la 152

«At this juncture, it was becoming difficult to bring in first-time research subjects, or to induce experienced ones to return. Who wanted to take a drug that would suppress the effects of DMT? I could draw people in to this study by emphasizing that they would get two unadulterated high doses: one on the first screening day, and the other in combination with placebo-cyproheptadine. However, I heard myself sounding apologetic for this project, a bit like a used-car salesman.» — la dificultad de reclutamiento que Strassman consigna y el registro con que se oía a sí mismo al convencer a los voluntarios

«We began preliminary work in three volunteers for this project. However, one fellow felt so bad on naltrexone alone that he dropped out after his first session. In the other two men, we saw little effect one way or the other, and so we went no further.» — el final del estudio con naltrexona: un voluntario se salió y en los otros dos no se vio efecto

«We divided the cycle into early, middle, and late in one woman, Willow, who usually had quite deep and insightful DMT experiences. In this sole volunteer, no obvious differences in psychological effects emerged. Since we didn't have funding to pursue this fascinating line of DMT research, we brought in no more volunteers for it.» — el estudio piloto sobre el ciclo menstrual con una sola voluntaria, a quien el libro llama Willow, y la falta de fondos que lo cerró

«These were difficult studies, as the EEG machine was extraordinarily bulky and noisy and required constant adjustments. As well, there were eighteen electrodes firmly attached to volunteers' scalps, glued in place by some of the strongest-smelling contact cement I have ever encountered. While all three subjects had "full" responses to DMT, the setting was terribly unpleasant. I recruited no more volunteers than these three, wanting first to be sure the data were so impressive as to justify the discomfort. The results were not especially striking, and we ran no more EEG experiments.» — el estudio con electroencefalograma y por qué Strassman lo cortó: entorno muy desagradable y resultados poco notables

«To an even greater extent than the EEG equipment, the MRI equipment absolutely dominated the setting. This scanner, support equipment, and staff required their own building on the other side of campus. These were the only DMT studies ever performed outside the Research Center.» — Strassman consigna que los estudios de resonancia magnética funcional fueron los únicos hechos fuera del centro de investigación

«For all of the effort, stress, and expectations, these data, too, were not especially revealing. The MRI team believed that major and expensive modifications to the scanner might have helped in increasing its ability to reveal DMT-induced brain changes. However, I didn't like the machine, and I didn't want to expose any more volunteers, or myself, to its deafening sound, claustrophobic quarters, and powerful magnetic fields.» — el cierre de los estudios de resonancia: datos poco reveladores y la decisión de no exponer a nadie más al aparato

«While it may sound as if I had lost all modesty, or common sense, regarding what sort of studies I enrolled volunteers in, I did draw the line at radioactivity. Positron emission tomography (PET) scans provide very nice color photographic images of brain activity using what I thought were negligible amounts of radioactivity. I located some colleagues who were interested in a DMT PET scan study. PET scans would most certainly provide a more refined analysis of where DMT was acting in the brain. However, after learning about the amount of radiation involved, I decided against it.» — el límite que Strassman declara haberse puesto: no usar tomografía por emisión de positrones por la cantidad de radiación

«escribing what it's like in the DMT realms is about as easy as giving words to scaling a mountain peak, sexual orgasm, undersea diving, and other nonverbal but breathtakingly profound experiences.» — la dificultad que Strassman declara al abrir el capítulo sobre el efecto. La capitular se pierde en la capa de texto y el renglón arranca en *Uescribing* donde el impreso pone *Describing*

«In our volunteers, a full dose of IV DMT almost instantly elicited intense psychedelic visions, a feeling that the mind had separated from the body, and overpowering emotions. These effects completely replaced whatever had occupied their minds just before drug administration.» — la descripción general del efecto de una dosis plena en los voluntarios del estudio

«Effects began within seconds of finishing the 30-second DMT infusion, and people were fully involved in the psychedelic worlds by the time I finished clearing the intravenous line with sterile saline 15 seconds later. The peak of the DMT response occurred by 2 minutes, and volunteers felt as if they were coming down at 5 minutes.» — los tiempos del efecto medidos por Strassman, del inicio a la bajada

«We measured levels of DMT in the blood frequently after injecting it and verified that the time course of psychological effects and DMT blood levels overlapped exactly. That is, blood levels of DMT reached their peak at 2 minutes and were nearly undetectable at 30. Since the brain actively transports DMT across the blood-brain barrier into its confines, it's reasonably certain brain levels of DMT rose as quickly as blood levels.» — la correspondencia exacta que Strassman mide entre el curso del efecto psicológico y el nivel de DMT en sangre

«Lower doses of DMT, 0.1 and 0.05 mg/kg, generally were not psychedelic, but certainly produced some psychological effects. These were primarily emotional and physical, although some particularly sensitive people had significant psychedelic and physical responses to even these low doses.» — el efecto de las dosis bajas, sobre todo emocional y físico, con la salvedad de los especialmente sensibles

«The body initially reacted to a high dose of DMT with a typical "fight-or-flight" stress reaction. Heart rate and blood pressure jumped radically, their time course closely following the psychological responses. After a while we could almost predict how intense a volunteer's session was by the rise in their blood pressure.» — la reacción física a la dosis alta y el atajo clínico que el equipo aprendió: la intensidad de la sesión se adivinaba por la subida de la presión

«On average, heart rate, or pulse, bolted from about 70 beats per minute up to 100. The range, however, was wide. Some subjects' pulse climbed up to 150, while others' got no higher than 95. Blood pressure also jumped from values of about 110/70 to an average of 145/100.» — las cifras de pulso y presión que Strassman mide en las sesiones de dosis alta

«Every pituitary gland hormone we measured increased rapidly. For example, blood levels of the endogenous morphine-like chemical beta-endorphin begin a steep ascent at 2 minutes following DMT administration» — las hormonas hipofisarias que el DMT dispara según la medición de Strassman, empezando por la beta-endorfina. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la lista sigue en la 157

«and reached their peak at 5 minutes. DMT also stimulated sharp spikes in the release of vasopressin, prolactin, growth hormone, and corticotropin.» — la continuación de esa lista en la plana siguiente: vasopresina, prolactina, hormona del crecimiento y corticotropina

«Pupil diameter doubled, from 4 millimeters to nearly 8, with a high dose of DMT, with biggest responses at 2 minutes. Body temperature took longer to rise, beginning at 15 minutes and continuing to climb by the time we removed the rectal temperature monitor at 60 minutes.» — las otras dos medidas objetivas que Strassman reporta: la pupila, que se duplica, y la temperatura, que tarda en subir

«Of all the biological factors we measured, the only one that did not increase was the pineal gland hormone melatonin. This was startling, and again brought home to me the incredibly mysterious nature of this potential spirit gland.» — el resultado que Strassman destaca por desconcertante: la melatonina fue lo único que no subió

«It may be that outside-administered DMT was not a powerful-enough stimulus to overcome the pineal defense mechanism we've discussed previously. While it's clear that stress hormones rose in response to the spirit molecule, they may not have gotten high enough to stimulate daytime melatonin production.» — la primera explicación que Strassman ofrece de ese resultado, con verbo de posibilidad

«Another possibility is that exogenous DMT actually did stimulate the pineal to make more of its own endogenous DMT. However, our method of measuring DMT in the blood would not have been able to distinguish between the two sources of the spirit molecule.» — la segunda explicación posible y el límite de método que la acompaña: su ensayo no distinguía el DMT propio del administrado

«The initial moments of the first non-blind high dose of DMT overwhelmed almost everyone. There was an intense, rapidly developing, and at least temporarily anxiety-provoking "rush" throughout the body and mind. This rush began even before I had finished the saline flush.» — lo que Strassman consigna del arranque de la primera dosis alta abierta

«Almost without thinking, several volunteers blurted out, as effects began, "Here we go!" Some compared this feeling to a "freight train," "ground zero," or a "nuclear cannon."» — las expresiones con que los voluntarios nombraron el golpe inicial, recogidas por Strassman en la voz de ellos

«Several people reported that the "breath caught in my throat" or "the wind was knocked out of me." Those who previously had smoked DMT were at an advantage in being able to anticipate its disorienting onset. However, they believed the rush of IV DMT was more rapid and powerful than that of the smoked method.» — lo que reportaron quienes ya habían fumado DMT: el golpe intravenoso les pareció más rápido y potente

«Nearly everyone remarked on the "vibrations" brought on by DMT, the sense of powerful energy pulsing through them at a very rapid and high frequency. Typical comments were: "I was worried that the vibration would blow my head up," "The colors and vibration were so intense I thought I would pop," "I didn't think I would stay in my skin.» — las vibraciones que casi todos los voluntarios reportan, con tres de sus frases en la voz de ellos

«This tidal wave of DMT effects quickly led to losing awareness of the body, causing some volunteers to think they had died. This dissociation of body and mind paralleled the development of peak visual effects. We typically heard phrases like: "I no longer had a body," "My body dissolved—I was pure awareness." There seemed to be a clearly identifiable sense of movement of consciousness away from the body, such as "falling," "lifting up," "flying," a feeling of weightlessness, or rapid movement.» — la disociación de cuerpo y mente que Strassman describe, con las frases de los voluntarios sobre la disolución del cuerpo y el movimiento de la consciencia

«Some male volunteers, but no females, experienced localized sensations in their genitals. While sometimes these were pleasurable, for others they were emotionally neutral or bland. No one ejaculated.» — el dato sexual que Strassman consigna sin interpretarlo

«Visual images were the predominant sensory effects of a full dose of DMT. Usually there was little difference between what volunteers "saw" with their eyes opened or closed. However, opening the eyes often caused the visions to overlay what was in the room. This had a disorienting effect, and it was less confusing to keep their eyes closed.» — el efecto sensorial predominante que Strassman consigna y por qué convenía tener los ojos cerrados

«Subjects saw all sorts of imaginable and unimaginable things. The least complex were kaleidoscopic geometric patterns, which sometimes partook of "Mayan," "Islamic," or "Aztec" qualities. For example, "beautiful, colorful pink cobwebs; an elongation of light," "tremendously intricate tiny geometric colors, like being one inch from a color television.» — las imágenes menos complejas que los voluntarios describieron, con los adjetivos maya, islámico y azteca en la voz de ellos. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana

«The colors of this imagery were brighter, more intense, and deeper than those of normal awareness or dreams: "It was like the blue of a desert sky, but on another planet. The colors were a hundred times deeper." Background and foreground distinctions might merge so that countless images would occupy a volunteer's visual field. It was impossible to tell what was "in front" and what was "behind." Many used the term "fourdimensional" or "beyond dimensionality" to describe this effect.» — el color y la dimensionalidad de esas visiones en las palabras de los voluntarios, hasta la cuarta dimensión y lo que llaman más allá de la dimensionalidad; el troceo parte por guion a fin de renglón y span() une *four-dimensional* en *fourdimensional*: el impreso lleva el guion léxico y el verbatim va como lo devuelve la herramienta

«There were more formed, specific visual images, too. These included "a fantastic bird," "a tree of life and knowledge," and "a ballroom with crystal chandeliers." There were "tunnels," "stairways," "ducts," and "a spinning golden disc." Others saw the "inner workings" of machines or bodies: "inside a computer's boards," "DNA double helices," and "the pulsating diaphragm around my heart.» — las imágenes formadas que los voluntarios describieron, en la voz de ellos: un pájaro fantástico, un árbol de la vida y del conocimiento, túneles, escaleras y las entrañas de máquinas y cuerpos

«Even more impressive was the apprehension of human and "alien" figures that seemed to be aware of and interacting with the volunteers. Non-human entities might be recognizable: "spiders," "mantises," "reptiles," and "something like a saguaro cactus.» — la clase de visión que Strassman destaca por más impresionante: figuras humanas y alienígenas conscientes del voluntario e interactuando con él, con las formas no humanas que los voluntarios nombran

«A few participants told us of a peculiar breakdown in the normal fluidity of their vision: "Your movements were not your own, they were no longer smooth and coordinated," and "You guys looked robotic; moving jerkier, more mechanical, geometric.» — lo que algunos voluntarios vieron al mirar al equipo: movimientos robóticos y geométricos, en la voz de ellos

«About half the volunteers experienced auditory effects: sounds were different, or they heard things that we did not. These were most pronounced during the DMT rush. Sometimes this was little more than intensification of normal hearing. Others became functionally deaf and did not hear the grinding motor of the blood pressure machine or any other outside sounds.» — los efectos auditivos que Strassman mide en cerca de la mitad de los voluntarios

«However, it was quite rare for volunteers to hear formed voices or music. Rather, there were simply sounds, variously described as "high-pitched," "whining and whirring," "chattering," "crinkling and crunching.» — la acotación de Strassman sobre lo auditivo: voces o música formadas eran rarísimas, y lo que había eran sonidos que los voluntarios describen así

«Sometimes volunteers did lose their bearings and forgot that they were in a hospital or involved in a research study. Bespeaking their mental strength and agility, some retained their perspective even in this condition: "My mind was definitely in a different place, but it was commenting on the state as it was going on.» — lo que Strassman consigna de la desorientación y de quienes conservaban la perspectiva, en la voz de un voluntario

«Most people found the high dose of DMT exciting, euphoric, and extraordinarily pleasurable. Sometimes this ecstasy related to the visions. The elation also might come from new insights gained during the session: "I feel great, like I had a revelation." Often, it was pure bliss without any particular object.» — el tono predominante de las sesiones de dosis alta y la dicha sin objeto que Strassman distingue

«For others the fear and anxiety were nearly unbearable. Comments such as "I hated it. I've never been so frightened," "menacing," "incredible torture; I thought it would never end" refer to these feelings.» — el reverso que Strassman consigna sin suavizarlo, con tres frases de voluntarios sobre el miedo y la tortura

«While many research subjects experienced powerful feelings on DMT, both negative and positive, some commented on how unemotional their high-dose sessions were: "I tried to get myself worked up over what I was seeing, but I just wasn't able to respond emotionally.» — la tercera reacción que Strassman consigna, la de quienes hallaron sus sesiones poco emotivas, en la voz de uno de ellos

«Once DMT effects established themselves, the drug had surprisingly little effect on volunteers' ability to think and reason. "My intellect wasn't altered at all. I was just alert to what was unfolding during the experi» — lo que Strassman consigna del pensamiento bajo DMT, con un voluntario que declara su intelecto intacto. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana a media palabra, donde el troceo parte *experience*

«Others, however, sensed their thinking was abnormal and, in fact, even wondered if DMT might cause psychotic thought processes. "Everything looked right, but just a little off. It seemed as if the clock was just starting to move every time I looked at it. The colors in the room were malevolent." Another said, "You know how schizophrenics talk about different meanings to things? A leaf on the ground takes on great significance? That kind of thing.» — el reverso: voluntarios que sintieron anormal su propio pensar y lo compararon con el modo esquizofrénico de cargar de sentido las cosas, en la voz de ellos

«One common effect was a loss of normal time perception. For example, nearly everyone was surprised at how late in the session it was by the time they found out the time, believing only a few minutes had passed. Nevertheless, there was a sense of timelessness in the peak DMT state: they experienced an enormous amount in those first few minutes.» — lo que Strassman consigna de la percepción del tiempo: sorpresa por lo tarde que era y a la vez sensación de atemporalidad

«Volunteers usually found the high dose caused an almost complete loss of control. They felt utterly helpless, incapacitated, unable to function or interact in the "real" world: "I felt like an infant, helpless, unable to do anything." DMT volunteers decided, at this point, they were happy to be in the hospital!» — la pérdida de control que Strassman describe y la vuelta irónica sobre el entorno hospitalario

«Beyond their own loss of control, some volunteers felt another "intelligence" or "force" directing their minds in an interactive manner. This was especially common in cases of contact with "beings."» — el dato que anuncia los capítulos de contacto: algunos sintieron otra inteligencia o fuerza dirigiendo su mente de manera interactiva

«Almost every research subject believed their first non-blind high dose of DMT brought them "higher than they had ever been." However, this first session usually was more anxiety-ridden than any other high doses they received subsequently. Once volunteers were prepared to lose control, it was easier for them to do so. They understood that the drug experience was essentially safe, that they would live through it and not suffer any psychological or physical damage. What also helped was their growing confidence in our ability to support their regressed condition as our work together progressed.» — lo que Strassman mide entre la primera dosis alta y las siguientes: la primera fue la más angustiosa, y la confianza en el equipo facilitó soltar

«The 0.1 mg/kg dose was the least popular. The vibratory energizing effects predominated, but there never was a breakthrough into a full psychedelic experience. Volunteers felt "left hanging," uncomfortably tense, both physically and mentally. "My body feels like pepper tastes," one said. "This dose has all the negative physical effects without any of the positive mental ones.» — la dosis menos apreciada y las dos frases con que un voluntario la describe, incluida la del cuerpo que se siente como sabe la pimienta

«The lowest dose of DMT, 0.05 mg/kg, was pleasant, and almost all volunteers said they felt like smiling or laughing after receiving it. One volunteer who previously had used heroin thought this dose felt something like that drug: "There was a warm cotton batting sensation.» — la dosis más baja y la comparación con la heroína que hace un voluntario que la había usado

«While its properties are similar in many ways to those of LSD, mescaline, and psilocybin, there is something peerless about the spirit molecule.» — lo que Strassman sostiene que distingue al DMT de los demás psicodélicos, sin decidir por qué

«ouring each DMT session, I took detailed notes of every aspect of that day's events: what volunteers said and did; how they looked, sounded, and felt to me; the state of the research ward, weather, and world politics; the behavior and emotional tone of others in the room with us, including the research nurse, family or friends of the volunteer, and visitors; and my own thoughts and feelings.» — el método de registro que Strassman declara para las sesiones. La capitular se pierde en la capa de texto y el renglón arranca en *-Louring* donde el impreso pone *During*

«After I got back to my office, I dictated these notes, and my secretary transcribed the dictation into a word-processor file. When printed, these records occupy more than one thousand pages of single-spaced text.» — el volumen del archivo que Strassman declara: más de mil planas a renglón seguido

«Upon completing a particular DMT experiment, I sent the volunteer a copy of these notes to review. I asked him or her to edit for clarity, accuracy, and completeness, as well as to add anything that may have come to mind since finishing the study. Some volunteers supplemented my records with journal entries, letters, art, and poetry related to their encounters with the spirit molecule.» — el procedimiento de validación que Strassman declara: cada voluntario revisaba y corregía las notas de su propia sesión, y algunos añadieron diarios, cartas, arte y poesía

«The shock waves elicited by a big DMT experience extended far beyond a single session, continuing to reverberate in all aspects of someone's life for days, months, or years.» — lo que Strassman consigna del alcance de una sesión fuerte más allá del día

«Another reason to categorize these experiences is to support the hypothesis that outside-administered DMT elicits altered states of consciousness similar to those that people report during spontaneous psychedelic experiences: near-death and mystical states and the phenomenon we call alien abduction. If drug-induced and naturally occurring conditions appear to have sufficient overlap, it supports a role for endogenous DMT in the production of these spontaneous psychedelic experiences.» — el uso argumentativo que Strassman le da a la clasificación de los relatos: sostener que el DMT administrado provoca estados semejantes a los espontáneos, entre ellos el que llama abducción alienígena

«These three categories are personal, invisible, and transpersonal experiences.» — los tres grupos con que Strassman ordena los relatos de los voluntarios

«The hallmark of the invisible category is an encounter with seemingly solid and freestanding realities coexisting with this one. When these planes of existence were inhabited, contact by our research subjects with these "beings" made for the most disturbing and unexpected type of DMT session.» — la definición de la categoría de lo invisible y el juicio de Strassman sobre esos relatos: los más perturbadores e inesperados

«We allowed the volunteer to have his or her own experience, with no more than the barest minimum of "coaching." However, we could not maintain absolutely neutral and passive stances when someone began talking about confusing or anxiety-ridden experiences. If a volunteer needed our help and support, we provided it.» — la regla de conducta del equipo durante la sesión y su límite declarado

«There is a fine line between supporting a person and telling him or her what sort of experience he or she has just undergone. After a big dose of DMT, volunteers were extraordinarily suggestible, open, and vulnerable. These factors demanded exquisite sensitivity to the interpersonal field existing in the room at the time. Reflection, support, education, advice, and interpretation are quite different from criticism, argument, persuasion, and brainwashing.» — la cautela que Strassman declara ante la sugestionabilidad del voluntario tras una dosis alta, con la línea que traza entre apoyar y decirle qué vivió

«However, DMT, as a true spirit molecule, gave our volunteers the trip they needed, rather than the one they wanted.» — la fórmula con que Strassman resume lo que la molécula hacía con las expectativas de los voluntarios

«Stan was married, had a young daughter, and held a highly responsible position in the local government. He was of medium height and build, good-looking and attentive to his appearance. He was rather disinclined to talk about his inner experience, and he stated his interest in the DMT studies in a typically concise manner: "To further legitimate studies and for personal exploration.» — la presentación del voluntario a quien el libro llama Stan, con su motivo declarado para entrar al estudio en su propia voz

«It's not as useful as LSD or psilocybin. It's too much too fast. You can't really work with it. You're totally out of control. It wasn't a spiritual experience. There was very little emotional flavor to it at all.» — el juicio de Stan sobre el DMT tras su primera dosis alta, en cursiva en el impreso: demasiado y demasiado rápido para trabajar con ello, y sin sabor espiritual ni emocional

«I wondered if the DMT sessions might provide him with some emotional clarity for these trying times. While the goals of the research remained unchanged, Stan was a fellow human being undergoing a major loss, and if we could help him within the project's context, all the better.» — lo que Strassman se plantea al recibir a Stan en pleno divorcio, con el límite de que los fines de la investigación no cambiaban

«Mmm. There were the usual colors. I guess I'll do the next several doses, in spite of the anxiety.» — lo que Stan dice tras las dos primeras inyecciones del estudio de tolerancia, en cursiva en el impreso

«There's a lot more going on in your life now. I wonder if the anxiety is related to the uncertainty and loss of control in your life right now. This is a drug that causes loss of control. That might be uncomfortable.» — la interpretación que Strassman le ofrece a Stan: la ansiedad ligada a la pérdida de control de su vida y a una droga que hace perder el control

«I've noticed that nausea in an altered state of consciousness often is a way for the body to distract us from anxiety and sadness. During meditation or hypnosis, or on psychedelic drugs or even marijuana, it's somehow easier to feel sick than sad.» — la lectura clínica que Strassman propone de la náusea en estado alterado: el cuerpo distrae de la angustia y la tristeza

«Part of my anxiety relates to my daughters school next year. She s in fifth grade. I need to decide this morning. She s having a hard time with the divorce, especially having difficulties with her mom. It's hard on me but it's harder on my daughter.» — lo que Stan nombra como origen de su ansiedad, en cursiva en el impreso; la capa de texto pierde los apóstrofos de *daughter's* y de *She's*

«I have two very opposite emotions: fear and anticipation of pleasure.» — los dos sentimientos opuestos con que Stan encara las dosis restantes, en su propia voz

«will do a fourth for you, Rick.» — lo que Stan dice al aceptar la cuarta dosis; Strassman lo retoma después como el conflicto entre la necesidad de datos y la del voluntario. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«The emotions are intense. They're there, but I think I'm shielding myself from them to get through the divorce. It's not entirely pleasant. That's an understatement, I guess. The emotional intensity builds each time, but I feel most at peace now. That unresolved feeling is gone. Maybe something's been done. Maybe 15 minutes from now I won't be saying this.» — el informe de Stan tras la tercera dosis, en cursiva: dice blindarse de sus emociones para atravesar el divorcio y declara que ese sentimiento sin resolver se fue, con la reserva de que quizá no lo sostenga un rato después

«It's a much nicer ride this time. It's like three waves you catch bodysurjing. They knock you down getting ready for the fourth, which is great. I want to do it again!» — el informe de Stan a los diez minutos de la cuarta dosis, con la imagen de las tres olas que derriban antes de la cuarta. La capa de texto imprime *bodysurjing* donde el volumen pone *bodysurfing*

«I'm feeling fine. I felt some mild euphoria yesterday and today, probably related to the experience. I wasn't sure about continuing with all four doses. Something finally clicked and got resolved. Maybe it was surrendering. It really put me through some changes. The first one was mixed emotions. The second and third ones were overwhelming. Just a lot of unresolved anxiety. The fourth one really did it.» — lo que Stan reporta por teléfono dos días después, en su propia voz: algo se resolvió y quizá fue el rendirse

«Very little. It's like a roto-rooter for your nervous system. It clears some things free. It was purely energetic. There are cumulative effects. Something happened, something changed between the third and fourth doses. After the third, I just gave up.» — la imagen con que Stan describe el efecto acumulado de las cuatro dosis, en su propia voz: un destapacaños para el sistema nervioso

«Stan kept his feelings at bay. Like many of our volunteers, he enjoyed psychedelics because of their emotional intensity. He could feel something on high doses of LSD—perhaps not pleasant or enjoyable feelings, but at least more than nothing.» — la lectura que Strassman hace del caso de Stan y del atractivo que los psicodélicos tienen para él

«His "free-floating" anxiety was anything but nameless. His life was in turmoil and simply making that interpretation helped him to start a process. The emotional power of DMT then drew it to some resolution.» — el cierre interpretativo del caso de Stan: la ansiedad flotante tenía nombre, y nombrarla bastó para que el poder emocional del DMT la llevara a una resolución

«Stan's joking about taking his last dose of DMT for me, rather than for himself, pointed out an interesting conflict: We needed data, but we were also concerned with the volunteers' own needs. If Stan were having a clearly traumatic experience and seemed to be decompensating, we would have called off the study. But he seemed willing, on his own part, to continue, and we never seriously thought about stopping early. Nevertheless, his comment did have a ring of truth about it.» — el conflicto que Strassman reconoce en la broma de Stan: el equipo necesitaba datos y a la vez atendía al voluntario, y él admite que la broma tenía algo de verdad

«The approach we took to supervising DMT sessions was as clinically neutral as possible, but ignoring psychological issues emerging from volunteers' experiences would have been negligent. Sometimes I had to decide quickly whether or not to take up the personal psychological thread a research subject had begun, whether to push that volunteer forward just» — el dilema de conducción que Strassman declara: neutralidad clínica frente a la negligencia de ignorar lo psicológico. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la frase termina en la 174

«Upon entry into the DMT study, Marsha was forty-five years old, had been divorced twice, and had been with her current husband for six years. She was of African-American descent, while her husband was white. Marsha possessed a delightful sense of humor and frankness. Her mood was significantly better this past year than it had been for some time. She felt a great sense of relief after dropping out of a graduate school program she found dehumanizing and unsupportive of her racial and ethnic background. Continued problems at home, however, revolved around her husband "being more depressed than I was," and she had been thinking of leaving him.» — la presentación de la voluntaria a quien el libro llama Marsha, con su situación conyugal y su salida de un posgrado que halló deshumanizante

«Marsha had taken psychedelic drugs perhaps thirty times in her life, and she found them "very mind-opening." She volunteered for our research "to help out my friends," "to experience this drug out of curiosity and wonder," "to be challenged," and "because my husband can't—therefore he can vicariously share this with me." Her husband had slightly elevated blood pressure, which disqualified him.» — los motivos declarados de Marsha para entrar al estudio, en su propia voz, incluido el de compartirlo con su marido, a quien la presión arterial descalificó

«thought I had died, and that I might not ever come back. I don't know what happened. All of a sudden, BAM!, there I was. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.» — el informe de Marsha sobre su primera dosis alta, en cursiva en el impreso, con la I inicial vuelta barra por la capa de texto: creyó haber muerto y se halló en lo que describe como un Taj Mahal

«I hope to meet some of my ancestors today, to help me deal with my current life stresses.» — lo que Marsha declara esperar de su última sesión, en su propia voz

«never would have imagined it would be like this. There was no transition. There was no universe with stars and a pinpoint of light like last time. You know what happened? I was on a merry-go-round!» — el arranque del informe de Marsha, en cursiva: ninguna transición y un carrusel en lugar de lo esperado. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«There were all these dolls in 1890s outfits, life-sized, men and women. The women were in corsets. They had big breasts and big butts and teeny skinny waists. They were all whirling around me on tiptoes. The men had top hats, riding on two-seater bicycles. One merry-go-round after another after another. The women had red circles painted on their cheeks, and there was calliope music in the background. And there were some clowns, flitting in and out, not really the main characters, but busier, somehow more aware of me than the mannequins.» — el informe de Marsha sobre el carrusel, en cursiva: maniquíes de los años noventa del siglo XIX, música de calíope y payasos más atentos a ella que los maniquíes

«Yes, but it was no Taj Mahal. I hoped to see my ancestors, a temple, or that I would see tall African people in old clothing.» — lo que Marsha dice al comparar esa sesión con la anterior: esperaba a sus ancestros y un templo

«Big time! I was the only human there. They had these painted-on smiles, there was no change in their expression. I thought, "Hey, what's going on?» — el informe de Marsha sobre lo que sintió entre los maniquíes de sonrisa pintada

«There was a sexual energy of wanting more, of being stimulated, of wanting more. I've never felt that way on DMT. I guess the mannequins were so beautiful that it was a turn-on.» — lo que Marsha reporta de la energía sexual de esa sesión, en cursiva en el impreso

«Were the mannequins white? Were they Anglo?" Yes, they all were. There were no colored people in any of the things I've ever seen from the gay '90s.» — la pregunta con que Strassman entra a interpretar el sueño de Marsha y la respuesta de ella

«They sound like an exaggeration or a caricature of Anglo beauty. It's interesting within the context of what we were talking about— your concerns about your weight.» — la interpretación que Strassman le propone a Marsha: los maniquíes como caricatura de la belleza anglosajona, leída junto a lo que ella le había dicho de su peso

«When I was young I was quite thin. When my husband and I met I was 20 pounds less than I am now. I looked like a stick figure. That's not my culture at all. Rather, the desired form is heavy and full, big breasts and big waists and big rear. Skinny was terrible in my culture. They used a slang word that meant skinny but when they used it, I didn't know what it meant. It seemed like they were talking about ugly, ill, not well.» — el informe de Marsha sobre el canon de figura de su propia cultura, en cursiva: lo deseable era la forma llena, y lo flaco se nombraba con una palabra que a ella le sonaba a fea o enferma

«I usually was not as directive with volunteers as I was with Marsha that day. However, her DMT vision seemed so perfectly related to her current conflicts that I could not ignore the message the spirit molecule was giving us.» — Strassman declara que con Marsha fue más directivo de lo habitual y por qué

«Marsha's Anglo husband was comparing her with his image of the ideal woman, and she was lacking. Her figure was not "right." However, the "mannequin" Anglo women and men were lifeless, painted images, going round and round aimlessly. Marsha remembered the pride with which her family greeted the full figure of womanhood, and tried owning that herself. She felt her inherent sexuality was good enough. She wanted to have sex with her husband, to reconnect at that basic level. Surprised and nonplussed, it was difficult for him to address her emotional needs at that moment. It was a miniature version of their ongoing problems.» — la lectura con que Strassman cierra el caso de Marsha: maniquíes sin vida girando sin rumbo frente al orgullo por la figura plena que ella recuerda de su familia

«Another way in which DMT affects the mind and body in potentially useful ways is through creating a controlled and supported traumatic experience. Trauma derives from a Greek word meaning "wound." My dictionary defines trauma as "a severe emotional shock having a deep, often lasting effect upon the personality.» — la tercera vía terapéutica que Strassman propone: una experiencia traumática controlada y acompañada, con la etimología y la definición de trauma

«Traumatic experiences usually are out of our control. For example, we do not choose our abusive childhoods, exposure to natural or manmade disasters, or real threats to our life. Once we have experienced such events, the mind's natural tendency is to wall off the feelings of fear, helplessness, and anxiety that threatened to overwhelm us at the time.» — la caracterización del trauma que da Strassman y la reacción de la mente: amurallar el miedo y el desamparo

«Nevertheless, unprocessed trauma seeps out into our lives. We may find ourselves in situations that produce ghosts or shadows of those traumabased feelings over and over again. It is as if we feel forced to repeat certain types of relationships that bring out feelings we couldn't master or control the first time, usually when we were powerless children. For example, an abusive spouse recreates the feelings brought on by an abusive parent. We may notice it's difficult to make deep emotional attachments because being close means being dangerously vulnerable.» — lo que Strassman sostiene sobre el trauma no procesado y la repetición de vínculos que devuelven los mismos sentimientos

«In many ways, a high dose of DMT is traumatic, bringing about a loss of control and annihilation of personal identity. "Shock" is a word we heard many times during the DMT studies. I even began using the term when I prepared people for their first 0.4 mg/kg session. Several volunteers recommended we print t-shirts with the words "I Survived 0.4" to hand out to those who successfully negotiated that morning's events.» — la equiparación que Strassman traza entre la dosis alta y el trauma, con la camiseta que los propios voluntarios propusieron

«I am certain that many of our volunteers were at some level attracted to the DMT project because it promised an overwhelming but structured voluntary traumatic experience. By experiencing absolute loss of control in a safe and supportive situation, it might be possible to more fully contact, and thereby own and let go of, certain painful emotions.» — la hipótesis de Strassman sobre lo que atraía a sus voluntarios: un trauma voluntario, abrumador pero estructurado, que permitiera soltar emociones dolorosas

«Cassandra was twenty-two years old, the next-to-youngest volunteer, when she signed on for the DMT project. Her manner and appearance brought out conflicting feelings in most people she met, and I was no exception.» — la presentación de la voluntaria a quien el libro llama Cassandra, con los sentimientos encontrados que Strassman declara que le provocaba a él mismo

«She also possessed sharp intelligence, laconic humor, and a direct manner. Cassandra was a complicated young woman, and it took some effort to see with whom you were really dealing.» — el cierre del retrato de Cassandra: inteligencia aguda, humor lacónico y trato directo, y el esfuerzo que costaba ver con quién se trataba de veras

«Cassandra suffered in relationships. Her parents divorced before she was a year old, and her mother raised her neglectfully. This came to a head at the age of sixteen, when her mother left her alone with her stepfather for a week. He raped her repeatedly during that time, and this cemented her stark ambivalence toward men and women: distrusting and hating them on one hand, but needing their love and protection at the same time.» — la historia de Cassandra que Strassman consigna, incluida la violación por su padrastro a los dieciséis años y la ambivalencia que le dejó

«After this, she developed symptoms of a post-traumatic stress disorder, experiencing flashbacks of the rape during sexual relations in her first long-term relationship. When she was twenty, she decided that she never wanted to have children and had a tubal ligation.» — las consecuencias que Strassman consigna: cuadro de estrés postraumático, reviviscencias durante las relaciones sexuales y la ligadura de trompas a los veinte años

«I include Cassandra's story here although it could also belong in the entity contact or mystical experience chapters. Her sessions did include interactions with the "clowns" and led to a deep serene peace she had never previously known. However, the beings' primary effect was to make her feel loved and happy, and the mystical resolution to her conflicts came only after a painful psychological process. Cassandra's sessions were, like many of the ones I will present, hybrids of more than one type.» — Strassman declara que las categorías de su clasificación se mezclan y que el caso de Cassandra podría ir en tres capítulos distintos

«So placement into the feeling-thinking, personal category of experiences relates to the type of response her session evoked in me as much as in her.» — la reserva metodológica con que Strassman clasifica el caso de Cassandra: la categoría depende también de lo que la sesión despertó en él

«We knew she could be volatile, and that it was important to be especially careful to avoid making her feel we were forcing anything on her. We didn't want to replay any rape themes in Room 531.» — la precaución que Strassman declara haber tomado con Cassandra, a partir de su historia de violación

«Something took my hand and yanked me. It seemed to say, "Let's go!" Then I started flying through an intense circus-like environment. I've never been that out-of-body before. First there was an itchy feeling where the drug went in. We went through a maze at an incredibly fast pace. I say "we" because it seemed like I was accompanied. It was cool. There was a crazy circus sideshow—-just extravagant. It's hard to describe. They looked like Jokers. They were almost performing for me. They were funny looking, bells on their hats, big noses. However, I had the feeling they could turn on me, a little less than completely friendly.» — el informe de Cassandra sobre su primera dosis alta, en cursiva: algo la toma de la mano y la lleva por un entorno de circo con figuras como bufones que podrían volverse contra ella

«It's impossible to make sense of it. I'd rather do it again, to see what it's like. It's refreshing to get a change of perspective, to see how insignificant my everyday problems are. I felt peaceful this afternoon. There was a brief moment of wanting it to be over because it was so intense, but I remembered to breathe and settled back into it. It's so weird, impossible to prepare for, to know what to expect. I'd rather not introspect too much.» — lo que Cassandra reporta al día siguiente, en su propia voz: prefiere repetirlo a entenderlo, y le refresca ver lo insignificantes que son sus problemas diarios

«Coming down last month from the big dose, I really felt in my body for the first time in my life. I usually live in my head. I remember that feeling. It was therapeutic. I liked the feeling of being in my body.» — lo que Cassandra declara del efecto de la primera sesión alta: sintió su cuerpo por primera vez en su vida y lo llama terapéutico

«It's funny. I let go more this time. This was no problem at all. It was all about feeling good. There was no revelation, no meaningful overtones.» — el informe de Cassandra tras la segunda dosis del estudio de tolerancia, en cursiva: soltó más, fue todo sentirse bien y no hubo revelación. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y sigue en la 182

«body is a real hindrance, isn't it? I definitely felt the presence of others. They were kind to me, nice and caring. They seemed small, as if they could enter my body and mind in that space. There was a total sense of losing my body, but the little presences know how to enter it somehow.» — la continuación de ese informe en la plana siguiente: presencias pequeñas, amables y cuidadosas, que sabían entrar en su cuerpo. El verbatim arranca a media palabra, donde el troceo parte *body*

«You should patent it. I guess it's too late for that. If I could only hold onto this feeling. If everybody did this every day the world would be a much better place. Life would be a lot better. The potential for good is so great. Feeling good within yourself. I guess meditation is supposed to get you to the same place.» — lo que Cassandra dice entre la segunda y la tercera dosis, en cursiva, y su propia equiparación con la meditación

«can still feel it. I hold all this stuff, the shit, in the left side of my abdomen. I got the message this time to let go of all that. lean still feel the relaxation. It's warm and tingly.» — el informe de Cassandra a los diez minutos de la tercera dosis: el mensaje de soltar lo que guarda en el lado izquierdo del abdomen. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial y funde *I can* en *lean*

«What do you hold on to?" The pain. "What pain?" I guess all the pain. She began crying. / guess all the pain I ever felt.» — el intercambio en que Strassman abre el punto que llevará a Cassandra a llorar, con la respuesta de ella

«These aren't sad tears, they are tears of enlightenment.» — lo que Cassandra dice de su propio llanto, y con que enmienda a Strassman cuando él lo da por indiferente

«Yes. I'll be a guru after this morning. You know how everyone's quest is to find the meaning or the purpose of life? Well, it's to feel this way. Life doesn't cut it normally.» — lo que Cassandra sostiene sobre el sentido de la vida a partir de esa sesión, en cursiva en el impreso

«You know that question in your rating scale about "higher power or God"? Well, I'm uncomfortable with that idea because it implies outside, but I do contact something deeper and more inside.» — la objeción que Cassandra le hace a la propia escala del estudio: el término poder superior le implica un afuera, y lo que ella contacta es más adentro

«It feels like there are thousands and thousands of separate parts of me and this drug brings them all together. It feels very complete.» — lo que Cassandra reporta tras la cuarta dosis: miles de partes suyas que la droga reúne

«It was a feeling in my chest. It was warm. My whole chest felt inflated. It was a really good feeling. I was loved by the entities or whatever they are. It was very pleasant and comforting.» — el informe de Cassandra sobre sentirse amada, y por quién: por las entidades o lo que fueran

«There have been profound physical changes, very beneficial ones. It feels as if I got my stomach back. Now for the first time in years I'm able to breathe deep into my stomach. I'm more optimistic. That's worn off a little bit by now, but not extremely. I can remember the optimism in meditation. It's like having the deepest possible tissue massage. On the third trip I was really able to let go. I guess I was hurt in there when I was raped. That's where I hide things and protect myself, constantly clenching them. Years of keeping those feelings tightly kept in my abdomen. I feel a lot freer.» — el balance que Cassandra da por teléfono unas semanas después, en su propia voz, y que ella misma liga al sitio donde fue violada

«DMT is far better than any therapy ever was for me. All therapy reminds me of is how bad things were and are. On DMT I saw and felt myself as a good person, as loved by the DMT elves.» — lo que Cassandra sostiene comparando el DMT con la terapia, y el nombre que les da a los seres

«There was a sense of many visitors. They were jovial, and they had a» — la descripción de Cassandra de esos visitantes: muchos, joviales. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la frase termina en la 185

«great time giving me the experience of being loved. With each dose there was more and more of a fulfilling safe and comfortable familiar feeling.» — la continuación en la plana siguiente: los visitantes se dieron gusto haciéndole sentir amada, y con cada dosis creció la sensación familiar de seguridad

«Freud coined the term transference, which refers to how people habitually react to others as if they were important figures from that person's earlier life. In therapy, countertransference feelings are those in the therapist similarly projected toward his or her client.» — la definición de transferencia y contratransferencia que Strassman adjudica a Freud y con la que lee el caso de Cassandra

«I wonder if you had some difficulty at first trusting a male physician who was going to incapacitate you with a drug.» — la pregunta con que Strassman aborda con Cassandra el fondo de la relación clínica

«I went for it. I trusted you. I never really was worried about it. You changed my life.» — la respuesta de Cassandra, en su propia voz

«Knowing Cassandra put people on pedestals before knocking them down, I countered very carefully, "I helped create the context for you to change your life.» — cómo Strassman devuelve ese elogio, sabiendo que Cassandra encumbraba y derribaba a la gente

«I remember an idea of Samuel Coleridge: If you have a wonderful dream and bring a rose back with you and then you wake up and the rose is in your hand, that meant the dream was real. When I came home and saw the bruises and the holes in my arm I really felt like that—that it really did happen, and that I really was where I was, and felt what I felt.» — la imagen que Cassandra toma de Samuel Coleridge, la rosa traída del sueño, y lo que le hicieron sentir los moretones del brazo al volver a casa

«Cassandra's case shows us how critically important it is to respond appropriately to whatever issues DMT raises. I said the bare minimum to keep her process going, without trying to judge, take credit, or otherwise betray her trust. To do so would have derailed the important work she was doing, and most likely she'd experience it as another violation of her integrity.» — la lección que Strassman saca del caso de Cassandra sobre su propia conducta en el cuarto

«With Cassandra, there was a blending of several different themes. However, the primary one seems to have been reencountering the psychological trauma of her rape through the symptom of her abdominal pain. DMT made it easier for her to make the emotional contact with what her physical pain represented and, indeed, where it began. The spirit molecule helped her by demonstrating that she could lose control, particularly around a powerful man, and be safe and loved at the same time.» — la lectura con que Strassman cierra el caso: el reencuentro con el trauma por la vía del dolor abdominal, y el haber podido perder el control ante un hombre poderoso y seguir a salvo

«Rather, they suggest freestanding, independent levels of existence about which we are at most only dimly aware. These reports challenge our world view, and they raise the emotional intensity of debate: "Is it a dream? A hallucination? Or is it real?" "Where are these places? Inside or out?» — el asunto que Strassman abre en el capítulo de los mundos invisibles, con las preguntas que él mismo formula sin responderlas todavía

«An interesting aspect to these reports is that they are mostly excerpts rather than records of entire sessions.» — la acotación de Strassman sobre la forma de estos relatos: son fragmentos y no sesiones enteras. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la razón se da en la 188

«There were spirals of what looked like DNA, red and green.» — el informe del primer voluntario del estudio, a quien el libro llama Karl y numera DMT-1, en cursiva en el impreso

«The visuals were dropping back into tubes, like protozoa, like the inside of a cell, seeing the DNA twirling and spiraling. They looked gelatinlike, like tubes, inside which were cellular activities. It was like a microscopic view of them.» — el informe de Philip sobre su dosis doble ciego de 0.4 mg/kg, en cursiva: el ADN girando dentro de tubos gelatinosos

«There was a spiral DNA-type thing made out of incredibly bright cubes. I "felt" the boxes at the same time that my consciousness shifted.» — el informe de la voluntaria a quien el libro llama Cleo, en cursiva en el impreso

«I felt the DMT release my soul's energy and push it through the DNA. It's what happened when I lost my body. There were spirals that reminded» — el informe de la voluntaria a quien el libro llama Sara, en cursiva: el DMT soltó la energía de su alma y la empujó por el ADN. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y las espirales de Chaco Canyon siguen en la 189

«me of things I've seen at Chaco Canyon. Maybe that was DNA. Maybe the ancients knew that. The DNA is backed into the universe like space travel. One needs to travel without one's body. It's ridiculous to think about space travel in little ships.» — la continuación del informe de Sara en la plana siguiente: el ADN plegado en el universo como viaje espacial, y su conclusión de que hay que viajar sin cuerpo

«Vladan, a forty-two-year-old Eastern European filmmaker, was one of our busiest research subjects; he volunteered for many of the pilot studies in which we worked out doses and combinations of medications to use with DMT. He also received more psilocybin in our preliminary dose-finding work than anyone else.» — la presentación del voluntario a quien el libro llama Vladan, cineasta de Europa del Este

«There were visuals at the peak, soft and geometric. They were 3-D circles and cones with shading. They moved a lot. It was almost like looking at an alphabet, but it wasn't English. It was like a fantasy alphabet, a cross between runes and Russian or Arabic writing. It felt like there was some information in it, like it was data. It wasn't just random.» — el informe de Vladan con 0.1 mg/kg durante el estudio con pindolol, en cursiva: un alfabeto de fantasía entre runas y escritura rusa o árabe que le parecía portar información

«Like seeing panels with a cut-out shape, rounded edges, hieroglyphics of some sort. They weren't painted on but more cut out, through which I saw the colors.» — el segundo informe de Vladan, en cursiva: paneles recortados con jeroglíficos

«At twenty-seven years of age, she was one of our most experienced volunteers. Heather had taken psychedelics close to two hundred times, had over a dozen experiences with smoked DMT, and was quite familiar with marijuana, stimulants, and MDMA. In addition, she had drunk the DMT-containing tea ayahuasca ten times.» — la presentación de la voluntaria a quien el libro llama Heather, con el recuento de su experiencia previa, incluida la ayahuasca diez veces

«There was a woman speaking Spanish all the time throughout the trip. She had quite a unique accent. Maybe it wasn't Spanish, but it sounded» — el informe de Heather tras su primera dosis alta abierta, en cursiva: una mujer que hablaba español con un acento único, o algo que lo parecía. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y sigue en la 190

«like it. At one point she said, "Regular. "3 She threw a white blanket over the scene and then pulled it back repeatedly. It was really weird. There were numbers. It was like numerology and language. There were all these colors and then there were all these numbers, Roman numerals. The numbers became words. Where do words come from? The woman would cover them with her blanket—the words and the numbers.» — la continuación del informe de Heather en la plana siguiente: la manta blanca sobre la escena, los números romanos que se vuelven palabras y su pregunta por de dónde vienen las palabras

«It started out typically as DMT but then I went past it, beyond where Vve been on DMT. There is that ringing sound as you're getting up there, and then I went to the language or number thing. It was totally inexplicable. Maybe it was trying to teach me something. The first number I saw was a 2 and I looked around and there were numbers all around. They were separate in their little boxes, and then the boxes would melt and the numbers would all merge together to make long numbers.» — la continuación del informe de Heather, en cursiva: el zumbido de la subida y el paso a lo que llama la cosa del lenguaje o de los números. La capa de texto imprime *Vve* donde el volumen pone *I've*

«Eli was a thirty-eight-year-old architect and one of our most fearless research subjects. He previously had "regressed under LSD through childhood to a point where I was sitting above the room, watching myself.» — la presentación del voluntario a quien el libro llama Eli, con su experiencia previa de regresión bajo LSD en su propia voz

«What's interesting is that I began experiencing sets of hallucinations, and then I said to myself, "Ah, this is the Logos." There's the blue-yellow core of meaning and semantics, basically.» — el informe de Eli durante el estudio con ciproheptadina, en cursiva: nombra Logos al núcleo azul y amarillo de sentido y semántica

«know! It's like threads of words or DNA or something. They're all around there, they're everywhere. After the blue amoebic shapes, there were several pulsating places. I thought, "There are lots of these." It's a good feeling. Then it breaks into a ruffled reality. When I looked around, it seemed like the meaning or symbols were there. Some kind of core of reality where all meaning is stored. I burst into its main chamber.» — la continuación del informe de Eli, en cursiva: hilos de palabras o de ADN y un núcleo de realidad donde se guarda todo significado. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«It is! I don't know if it's because of my interest in computers or not, but it seems like it's the raw bits of reality. It's a lot more than only ones and zeros. It's a higher level, very potent bits.» — la respuesta de Eli a la glosa que le ofrece Strassman: los bits crudos de la realidad, mucho más que unos y ceros

«was in a white room, experiencing certain emotions and feelings that gave me an intense feeling of being a co-reality. Like a dream I had of bumping into some Hispanic kids with my car, into their car. They were really mad at me. I said to them "If you hate me, you hate yourself. Our cultures are merged, so there's no defending against that." Their culture, our culture, they were co-real, existing simultaneously. The white room consisted mostly of light and space. There were cubes stacked with icons on the surfaces, like a Logos of consciousness. It was light but there was a lot of other information coming in.» — el informe de Eli sobre el cuarto blanco, en cursiva: cubos apilados con iconos en la superficie, que él llama un Logos de la consciencia. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«There are no doors, there's nothing to go through. It's either over here— its dark; or over there—there are images. You just can't do anything with them. It was Mayan hieroglyphics. It was interesting. The hieroglyphics turned into a room, like I was a child. There were toys there, like I was a kid. It was like that. It was cute.» — el informe del voluntario a quien el libro llama Gabe, en cursiva: jeroglíficos mayas que se vuelven un cuarto de juguetes donde él es un niño

«Tyrone was thirty-seven years old when he participated in the dose-response study. He was a former student of mine, a junior psychiatrist I had supervised for a year.» — la presentación del voluntario a quien el libro llama Tyrone, antiguo alumno de Strassman

«The places to sit, do things, the counters, they were molded out of the walls. I've never seen anything like it. It was really modern looking. The almost organic nature of the apartment was beautiful. It wasn't just functional. There was life in the furniture, like it was molded out of something alive, an animal, a living being. I felt in awe of the apartments. An artistic appreciation, like looking at a beautiful painting and getting lost in it, lost in the happiness. At the end I went past, beyond the apartments. I entered into a space, a crack in the earth. It wasn't horizontal, it was vertical. A crack in space.» — el informe de Tyrone sobre los departamentos del futuro, en cursiva: muebles moldeados de la pared como de algo vivo, y al final una grieta vertical en el espacio

«There was no turning back. After a moment or two I became aware of something happening to my left. I saw a psychedelic, Day-Glo—colored space that approximated a room whose walls and floor had no clear separations or edges. It was throbbing and pulsing electrically. Rising in front of "me" was a podium-like table. It seemed that some presence was dealing/serving something to me. I wanted to know where I was and "sensed" the reply that I had no business there. The presence was not hostile, just somewhat annoyed and brusque.» — las notas manuscritas del voluntario a quien el libro llama Aaron, enviadas días después de su sesión con electroencefalograma: una presencia que le sirve algo y le hace sentir que no tiene nada que hacer ahí. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 192 a la 193

«The relentless scratchy, crackling visuals didn't last long. Then I was above a strange landscape, like Earth, but very unearthly. Mountains of some sort. It was very friendly and inviting. It was so real I had to open my eyes. When I did the scene was overlaid on top of the room. I closed my eyes, and that removed the interference with what I had been seeing.» — el informe de Philip sobre su dosis doble ciego de 0.4 mg/kg, en cursiva: un paisaje como la Tierra y a la vez nada terrestre, tan real que tuvo que abrir los ojos y se le sobrepuso al cuarto. La capa de texto escribe *Phillip* con dos eles en la presentación

«It was like a super-bright Day-Glo poster, but much more complex. I was hovering miles above it. I had the very distinct sense of doing this, not just the visual perception. There were some telescopes, or microwave dishes, or water-tower things with antennae on them. I wish I could take you by the hand and show you. A vast expanse of horizon. The sun was different, different colors and hues than our sun.» — la continuación del informe de Philip, en cursiva: sobrevolar a millas de altura, las antenas o platos de microondas y un sol de colores distintos del nuestro

«Oh yeah, there were people and guides. I was with a Mexican family, on a porch of a house in the desert. There was a garden scene outside. There were kids and stuff. I was playing with the kids. I was part of the family. I had a sense of an old man standing behind me or around me someplace. I wanted to talk with him, but he let me know somehow that it was more important to visit with the young girl.» — el informe del voluntario a quien el libro llama Sean, en cursiva: una familia mexicana en el porche de una casa del desierto, y un viejo que le hace saber sin palabras que importa más visitar a la muchacha

«It was pretty laid-back, benign. It seemed so natural and complete as it was happening. It wasn't a dream at all. I thought, "It seems like a pretty common day," and then I stopped and thought, "No, I'm tripping." There were some black people, too, sort of pulling at me. There was a curious feeling of being extracted. It was a jarring feeling. I was being called away.» — la continuación del informe de Sean, en cursiva: la escena le parecía un día común hasta que se dijo a sí mismo que estaba de viaje, y la sensación de ser extraído

«It sounds like something out of Carlos Castaneda's books."5 It does, doesn't it? No, I hadn't thought of that.» — la sugerencia que Strassman le hace a Sean y el rechazo con que Sean la recibe, que Strassman retoma después como ejemplo de lo que no hay que hacer

«However, our volunteers not only saw these things, but felt an unshakeable certainty that they actually were there. Opening their eyes at any time superimposed this reality with their now-manifest but previously invisible one.» — la distinción que Strassman traza entre el sueño y lo que reportan sus voluntarios: la certeza inquebrantable de estar ahí

«Neither were they asleep. They were hyperaware and awake, able to tell themselves to do things in this new space. It's amazing how often I heard them say, "I looked around and saw» — la segunda diferencia con el sueño: los voluntarios estaban hiperalertas y podían decidir qué hacer en ese espacio, y lo decían con esa fórmula

«Listening to these experiences also began stretching my limits as a clinical psychiatrist and researcher. I made few comments regarding people's reports of these unseen realms. It was hard to keep up, and I didn't know what to say. It was at this point that I began having to fight a tendency to regard these stories as dreams, or figments of their DMTamplified imaginations. On the other hand, I also began doubting my own model for what exactly happens on DMT. Were people really somewhere else? What exactly were they witnessing?» — lo que Strassman declara de su propio límite como psiquiatra ante estos relatos, con la tentación de tomarlos por sueños y la duda sobre su propio modelo; el troceo parte por guion a fin de renglón y span() une *DMT-amplified* en *DMTamplified*: el impreso lleva el guion léxico y el verbatim va como lo devuelve la herramienta

«We get an intimation of this in Sean's flat rejection of my suggestion that his Mexican family scene was based upon a memory of Carlos Castaneda books. He was with them; it wasn't something else.» — la lección que Strassman saca del rechazo de Sean a la remisión a Castaneda

«When reviewing my bedside notes, I continually feel surprise in seeing how many of our volunteers "made contact" with "them," or other beings. At least half did so in one form or another.» — la cifra con que Strassman mide el contacto con seres en su estudio: al menos la mitad de los voluntarios. La capitular se pierde en la capa de texto y el encabezado imprime *Throegh* por *Through*

«Research subjects used expressions like "entities," "beings," "aliens," "guides," and "helpers" to describe them. The "life-forms" looked like clowns, reptiles, mantises, bees, spiders, cacti, and stick figures.» — los nombres con que los voluntarios llamaron a esos seres y las formas que les vieron, en la voz de ellos

«It is still startling to see my written records of comments like "There were these beings," "I was being led," "They were on me fast." It's as if my mind refuses to accept what's there in black and white.» — lo que Strassman declara de su propia resistencia ante sus propias notas

«It may be that I have such a hard time with these stories because they challenge the prevailing world view, and my own.» — la explicación que Strassman da de su propia dificultad: estos relatos desafían la visión del mundo dominante y la suya propia

«instruments, as the only ways of knowing. If we can't see, hear, smell, taste, or touch things in our everyday state of mind, or using our technologyamplified senses, it's not real. Thus, these are "nonmaterial" beings.» — el criterio moderno de realidad que Strassman describe y del que saca el adjetivo con que nombra a esos seres. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana: la oración empieza en la 196; el troceo parte por guion a fin de renglón y span() une *technology-amplified* en *technologyamplified*: el impreso lleva el guion léxico y el verbatim va como lo devuelve la herramienta

«In contrast, indigenous cultures are in regular contact with denizens of the invisible landscape and have no problems with straddling both worlds. Often they do this with the aid of psychedelic plants.» — el contraste que Strassman traza con las culturas indígenas, en contacto regular con esos habitantes y a menudo con ayuda de plantas psicodélicas

«Many modern-day scientists possess an abiding faith in the spiritual. However, these same scientists are caught in a profound conflict between their personal and professional beliefs. What they say and what they feel may contradict each other profoundly. It is difficult to be "objective" about matters of the heart and spirit. Scientists may compartmentalize their faith and can't conceive of verifying or validating their spiritual intuition.» — lo que Strassman sostiene del conflicto entre las creencias personales y las profesionales de muchos científicos, que compartimentan su fe y no conciben cómo verificar su intuición espiritual

«Perhaps they simply ignore the presence of angels and demons in essential scriptures, or regard them as symbolic or as hallucinatory manifestations of an overactive religious imagination.» — el otro modo de resolver ese conflicto que Strassman describe: ignorar a los ángeles y demonios de las escrituras o tomarlos por símbolo o alucinación

«What would happen to the study of spirit realms if we could access them reliably using molecules like DMT?» — la pregunta que Strassman deja planteada sobre el estudio de los reinos del espíritu

«The stories we're about to hear go beyond reasonably "straightforward" encounters with the Divine or angels, nor are they especially neat, tidy, or in accordance with what we consider within the realm of "expectable" spiritual experiences.» — la advertencia de Strassman sobre lo que sigue: los relatos no caben en lo esperable de un encuentro con lo divino o con ángeles

«especially the freewheeling fields of cosmology and theoretical physics, than on our more conservative religious traditions for satisfactory models and explanations of these "spirit-world" experiences.» — la salida que Strassman propone, y que él mismo llama irónica: buscar modelos en la cosmología y la física teórica antes que en las tradiciones religiosas más conservadoras. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana: la oración empieza en la 197

«I was familiar with Terence McKenna's tales of the "self-transforming machine elves" he encountered after smoking high doses of the drug. Interviews conducted with twenty experienced DMT smokers before beginning the New Mexico research also yielded some tales of similar meetings. Since most of these people were from California, I admittedly chalked up these stories to some kind of West Coast eccentricity.» — Strassman consigna lo que ya conocía de los relatos de Terence McKenna sobre los elfos-máquina que se transforman a sí mismos, y admite que los había atribuido a una excentricidad de la costa oeste

«Therefore, I was neither intellectually nor emotionally prepared for the frequency with which contact with beings occurred in our studies, nor the often utterly bizarre nature of these experiences. Neither, it seemed, were many of the volunteers, even those who had smoked DMT previously. Also surprising were the common themes of what these beings were doing with so many of our volunteers: manipulating, communicating, showing, helping, questioning. It was definitely a two-way street.» — lo que Strassman declara sobre su propia falta de preparación y los temas comunes de esos encuentros: manipular, comunicar, mostrar, ayudar, preguntar

«What is even more striking is that I have been unable to locate any similar reports in research subjects taking other psychedelics. Only with DMT do people meet up with "them," with other beings in a nonmaterial world.» — el hallazgo comparativo que Strassman declara: no halla relatos semejantes con otros psicodélicos, solo con DMT

«These older clinical excerpts derive from patients with schizophrenia, many of whom had been hospitalized for years, if not decades. They were not especially verbal, insightful, or personable. They received DMT in studies attempting to determine how similar the DMT state was to schizophrenia. Researchers also were interested in gauging whether naturally psychotic patients were more or less sensitive to DMT's effects.» — la procedencia de los testimonios antiguos que Strassman cita: pacientes con esquizofrenia, muchos hospitalizados por años, en estudios sobre el parecido entre el estado de DMT y la esquizofrenia

«saw such strange dreams, but at the beginning only.... I saw strange creatures, dwarves or something, they were black and moved about.» — el testimonio de un paciente con esquizofrenia del antiguo laboratorio de Szara en Hungría, en cursiva: criaturas extrañas, enanos o algo así, negros y en movimiento. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«I was in a big place, and they were hurting me. They were not human. . . . They were horrible! I was living in a world of orange people.» — el testimonio de la única paciente de un estudio estadounidense que pudo decir algo tras 1.25 mg/kg intramusculares, en cursiva en el impreso

«These little vignettes should keep us from becoming too complacent in believing that what our volunteers reported is purely a New Age, 1990sin-Santa Fe phenomenon. The spirit molecule revealed unseen worlds, and their inhabitants, to Western science long before our research began.» — la conclusión que Strassman saca de esos dos testimonios antiguos: lo reportado no es un fenómeno New Age de los años noventa

«That was real strange. There were a lot of elves. They were prankish, ornery, maybe four of them appeared at the side of a stretch of interstate highway I travel regularly. They commanded the scene, it was their terrain! They were about my height. They held up placards, showing me these incredibly beautiful, complex, swirling geometric scenes in them. One of them made it impossible for me to move. There was no issue of control; they were totally in control. They wanted me to look! I heard a giggling sound— the elves laughing or talking at high-speed volume, chattering, twittering.» — el informe del voluntario a quien el libro llama Karl, herrero de cuarenta y cinco años, en cursiva: elfos bromistas junto a una carretera que él recorre a diario, que le muestran carteles y le impiden moverse

«First there was a mandala-like series of visuals, fleurs-de-lis—type visions. Then an insectlike thing got right into my face, hovering over me as the drug was going in. This thing sucked me out of my head into outer space. It was clearly outer space, a black sky with millions of stars. I was in a very large waiting room, or something. It was very long. I felt observed by the insect-thing and others like it. Then they lost interest. I was taken into space and looked at.» — el informe de Aaron tras su primera dosis alta abierta, en cursiva: una cosa insectoide que lo succiona al espacio exterior y una sala de espera muy larga donde se siente observado. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 199 a la 200

«There is a sinister backdrop, an alien-type, insectoid, not-quite-pleasant side of this, isn't there? Its not a "We're- going-to get-you-motherfucker." It's more like being possessed. During the experience there is sense of someone, or something else, there taking control. It's like you have to defend yourself against them, whoever they are, but they certainly are there. I'm aware of them and they're aware of me. It's like they have an agenda. It's like walking into a different neighborhood. You're really not quite sure what the culture is. It's got such a distinct flavor, the reptilian being or beings that are present.» — el informe de Aaron tras una dosis alta doble ciego, en cursiva: no es una amenaza sino algo más parecido a una posesión, con una agenda propia y un sabor reptiliano distinto

«That's what it's about. It's the sense of the possibility that's so strange.» — la respuesta de Aaron cuando Strassman le pregunta qué es lo peor que esos seres podrían hacer

«There is nothing that can prepare you for this. There is a sound, a bzzzz. It started off and got louder and louder and faster and faster. I was coming on and coming on and then POW! There was a space station below me and to my right. There were at least two presences, one on either side of me, guiding me to a platform. I was also aware of many entities inside the space station—automatons, androidlike creatures that looked like a cross between crash dummies and the Empire troops from Star Wars, except that they were living beings, not robots. They seemed to have checkerboard patterns on parts of their bodies, especially their upper arms.» — parte de la carta que el voluntario a quien el libro llama Lucas escribió días después de su sesión, en cursiva: una estación espacial, dos presencias que lo guían a una plataforma y autómatas con patrones de damero en los brazos

«It was at this point in Room 531 that Lucas's heart rate and blood pressure plummeted to nearly unrecordable levels.» — lo que Strassman consigna del cuerpo de Lucas en ese mismo punto de la sesión

«There's this whole different world with architecture and landscape. I saw one or two beings there. The beings even have gender. The skin was not flesh-colored. I communicated with them but there wasn't enough time. I was so strung out, excited, agitated when I arrived there. They wanted to try and reduce my anxiety so we could relate.» — el informe del voluntario a quien el libro llama Carlos, en cursiva: seres con género y piel de otro color que quisieron bajarle la ansiedad para poder relacionarse

«There was an initial sense of panic. Then the most beautiful colors coalesced into beings. There were lots of beings. They were talking to me but they weren't making a sound. It was more as if they were blessing me, the spirits of life were blessing me. They were saying that life was good. At first it felt like I was going through a cave or a tunnel or into space, at a fast rate, definitely. I felt like a ball hurtling down to wherever it was.» — el informe de Gabe sobre su primera dosis alta, en cursiva: colores que se vuelven seres que lo bendicen sin sonido y le dicen que la vida es buena

«Many volunteers' encounters with life-forms in these nonmaterial worlds involved the powerful sense of an exchange of information. The type of information varied widely. Sometimes it concerned the "biology" of these beings.» — lo que Strassman señala como rasgo común de esos encuentros: un intercambio de información, a veces sobre la biología misma de los seres

«There was a set of many hands. They were feeling my eyes and face. It was a little bit confusing. There were more individuals. They were recognizing and identifying me. It was more intimate. At first I thought it was the eyeshades on my face, but it definitely was not!» — el informe del voluntario a quien el libro llama Chris tras la primera dosis del estudio de tolerancia, en cursiva: muchas manos que le tocan los ojos y la cara y lo reconocen. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 201 a la 202

«To get to that space I had to get through some sort of a non-benevolent space. It felt like there were talons and claws there trying to guard it in a way.» — lo que Chris reporta del paso previo, en cursiva: un espacio no benévolo con garras y zarpas que parecían custodiarlo

«If need be, let them rip you to shreds, then you can get on with it.» — lo que Strassman le dice a Chris para animarlo, y que él mismo declara guiado por la intuición

«Dismemberment is part of the shamanic initiation, isn't it? I felt a dragonlike presence. And, there were the same colors—red, golden yellows.» — la respuesta de Chris, que nombra el desmembramiento como parte de la iniciación chamánica y reporta una presencia de dragón

«It was wild. There were no colors. There was the usual sound: pleasant, a roar, a sort of an internal hum. Then there were three beings, three physical forms. There were rays coming out of their bodies and then back to their bodies. They were reptilian and humanoid, trying to make me understand, not with words, but with gestures. They wanted me to look into their bodies. I saw inside them and understood reproduction, what it's like before birth, the passage into the body. Once I established what they were communicating, they didn't just fade away. They stayed therefor quite a while. Their presence was very solid.» — el informe de Chris tras la segunda dosis, en cursiva: tres formas reptilianas y humanoides que le piden mirar dentro de sus cuerpos y le hacen entender la reproducción y el paso al cuerpo

«can't. I thought I was developing tolerance, but then, Bang! There were these three guys or three things.» — lo que Chris dice de su propia incapacidad de programar la sesión, en cursiva. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana: la frase empieza en la 202

«It sure does. I wasn't sure as I was lifting my eyeshades if I wanted to talk to you about it.» — lo que Chris confiesa sobre si quería siquiera contarlo

«They were trying to show me as much as possible. They were communicating in words. They were like clowns or jokers or jesters or imps. There were just so many of them doing their funny little thing. I settled into it. I was incredibly still and I felt like I was in an incredibly peaceful place. Then there was a message telling me that I had been given a gift, that this space was mine and I could go there anytime. I should feel blessed to have form, to live. It went on forever. There were blue hands, fluttering things, then thousands of things flew out of these blue hands. I thought "What a show!" It was really healing.» — el informe de Chris tras la cuarta dosis, en cursiva: seres como payasos y bufones, un mensaje de que ese espacio era suyo y un sentirse bendecido por tener forma y vivir

«It was part of me, not separate. It was a reassurance that this wouldn't go away, that it was mine, that a connection had been made. The whole thing was really crucial to my spiritual development. It's what I tried to do with LSD, a sort of self-initiation. With LSD, it worked in some ways and didn't in others.» — el cierre del informe de Chris, en cursiva: lo llama crucial para su desarrollo espiritual y una autoiniciación que con LSD solo le salió a medias

«I went with them as you suggested. There were clinical researchers probing into my mind. There were sort of long fiber-optic things that they were putting into my pupils.» — el informe del voluntario a quien el libro llama Jim tras seguir la sugerencia de Strassman, en cursiva: investigadores clínicos sondeando su mente con fibras ópticas en las pupilas. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 203 a la 204

«This was years after we had stopped using the pupil measuring card, so it had nothing to do with what was happening in Room 531.1 asked Jim what that was like for him. It was pretty weird, but I figured it was just the drug.» — la acotación de Strassman sobre ese informe, que descarta el estímulo real del cuarto, y la respuesta desapegada de Jim

«It was a nursery. A high-tech nursery with a single Gumby, three feet tall, attending me.31 felt like an infant. Not a human infant, but an infant relative to the intelligences represented by the Gumby. It was aware of me, but not particularly concerned. Sort of a detached concern, like a parent would feel looking into a playpen at his one-year-old lying there.» — el informe del voluntario a quien el libro llama Jeremiah, en cursiva: una guardería de alta tecnología con un solo Gumby de un metro atendiéndolo, y él como infante ante la inteligencia que el Gumby representa

«That was much more intense than the first major dose. It's a different world. Amazing instruments. Machine-type things. There was one person operating some of this stuff. I was in a big room; he was in another part of it.» — el informe de Jeremiah tras su dosis doble ciego de 0.4 mg/kg, en cursiva: instrumentos asombrosos y una persona operándolos en otra parte de la sala

«There was one big machine in the center, with round conduits, almost writhing—not like a snake, more in a technical manner. The conduits were not open at the end. They were solid blue-gray tubes, made of plastic? The machine felt as if it was rewiring me, reprogramming me. There was a human, as far as I could tell, standing at some type of console, taking readings or manipulating things. He was busy, at work, on the job. I observed some of the results on that machine, maybe from my brain. It was a little frightening, almost unbearably intense. It all began with a whining, whirring sound.» — la continuación del informe de Jeremiah, en cursiva: una máquina que sentía que lo recableaba y reprogramaba, y un humano tomando lecturas en una consola

«There were four distinct beings looking down on me, like I was on an operating-room table. I opened my eyes to see if it was you and Josette, but it wasn't. They had done something and were observing the results.» — el informe de Jeremiah en su última sesión doble ciego, en cursiva: cuatro seres mirándolo desde arriba como sobre una mesa de quirófano, que habían hecho algo y observaban los resultados. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y sigue en la 206

«are vastly advanced scientifically and technologically. They were looking just over the traction bar in front of me. I guess they were saying, "Goodbye. Don't be a stranger.» — la continuación del informe de Jeremiah en la plana siguiente, en cursiva: los llama muy avanzados científica y tecnológicamente, y recoge su despedida; el troceo parte por guion a fin de renglón y span() une *Good-bye* en *Goodbye*: el impreso lleva el guion léxico y el verbatim va como lo devuelve la herramienta

«That was a dream you described. This is real. It s totally unexpected, quite constant and objective. One could interpret your looking at my pupils as being observed, and the tubes in my body as the tubes I'm seeing. But that is a metaphor, and this is not at all a metaphor. It's an independent, constant reality.» — la distinción que Jeremiah le hace a la enfermera cuando ella compara su relato con un sueño propio: lo suyo no es metáfora sino una realidad independiente y constante. La capa de texto pierde el apóstrofo de *It's*

«DMT has shown me the reality that there is infinite variation on reality. There is the real possibility of adjacent dimensions. It may not be so simple as that there's alien planets with their own societies. This is too proximal. It's not like some kind of drug. It's more like an experience of a new technology than a drug.» — lo que Jeremiah sostiene sobre lo que el DMT le mostró, en cursiva: variación infinita de la realidad y dimensiones adyacentes, y no tanto una droga como una tecnología nueva

«You can choose to attend to this or not. It will continue to progress without you paying attention. You return not to where you left off, but to where things have gone since you left. It's not a hallucination, but an observation. When I'm there, I'm not intoxicated. I'm lucid and sober.» — el cierre del informe de Jeremiah, en cursiva: ese mundo sigue sin uno, y él se declara lúcido y sobrio ahí, no intoxicado

«Twenty-six years old when he started in the DMT research, Dmitri was of Greek extraction. He lived with Heather, whose experience of unseen worlds we read about in chapter 12. He was a writer and editor and was a seasoned and steady explorer of inner space. He had smoked DMT about sixty times and had taken LSD "hundreds of times," ketamine fifty to a hundred times, and MDMA about thirty times.» — la presentación del voluntario a quien el libro llama Dmitri, con el recuento de su experiencia previa

«Dr. V. worked for the National Institute on Drug Abuse, the agency funding my research. He was developing a project that might treat drug abusers with the African hallucinogen ibogaine. He wanted to see the effects of a powerful psychedelic drug given in a research setting.» — Strassman consigna quiénes asistieron como invitados a esa sesión, incluido un funcionario de la agencia que financiaba su investigación

«The first thing I noticed was a burning in the back of my neck. Then there was this loud intense hum. It was like the fan at first, but separate. It began engulfing me. I let go into it and then . . . WHAM!» — el arranque del informe de Dmitri tras su dosis alta, en cursiva

«felt like I was in an alien laboratory, in a hospital bed like this, but it was over there. A sort of landing bay, or recovery area. There were beings. I was trying to get a handle on what was going on. I was being carted around. It didn't look alien, but their sense of purpose was.» — la continuación del informe de Dmitri, en cursiva: un laboratorio alienígena con una cama como la suya y seres cuyo sentido de propósito le resultó ajeno. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«They had a space ready for me. They weren't as surprised as I was. It was incredibly un-psychedelic. I was able to pay attention to detail. There was one main creature, and he seemed to be behind it all, overseeing everything. The others were orderlies, or dis-orderlies.» — la continuación del informe de Dmitri en la plana siguiente, en cursiva: le tenían un sitio listo, había un ser principal supervisando y los demás eran camilleros. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana

«They activated a sexual circuit, and I was flushed with an amazing orgasmic energy. A goofy chart popped up like an X-ray in a cartoon, and a yellow illumination indicated that the corresponding system, or series of systems, were fine. They were checking my instruments, testing things. When I was coming out, I couldn't help but think "aliens."» — el informe de Dmitri sobre lo que le hicieron, en cursiva: un circuito sexual activado, una carta que aparece como una radiografía de caricatura y la comprobación de sus sistemas

«I am so disappointed I didn't talk to them. I was confused and in awe. I knew that they were preparing me for something. Somehow we had a mission. They had things to show me. But they were waiting for me to acquaint myself with the environment and movement and language of this space.» — lo que Dmitri lamenta de esa sesión, en cursiva: no haberles hablado, y la misión que intuyó que compartían

«The atmosphere in the room was surreal. It was bursting with people and a very strange story. I hoped Dr. V. and Mr. W. were all right. I also wondered if I might lose my funding the next week. Or see it doubled.» — lo que Strassman consigna de su propio estado ante los invitados de la agencia financiadora durante ese relato

«It was not like any UFO abduction I've heard about. These beings were friendly. I had a bond with one of them. It was about to say something to me or me to it, but we couldn't quite connect. It was almost a sexual bond, but not sex like intercourse, but a total body communication. I was filled with feelings of love for them. Their work definitely had something to do with my presence. Exactly what remains a mystery.» — el cierre del informe de Dmitri, en cursiva: lo deslinda de las abducciones ovni que conoce, y describe un vínculo casi sexual que era comunicación de cuerpo entero

«Ben was twenty-nine years of age and had recently relocated from Seattle. He was a drifter, having held thirty jobs in just ten years. He was an old friend of Chris, about whose entity-contact encounter we just read.» — la presentación del voluntario a quien el libro llama Ben, con sus treinta empleos en diez años y su amistad con Chris. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y sigue en la 209

«Ben was an intense fellow—short-cropped, nearly shaven head, a muscular build, and a very direct manner. He actively sought novelty and change, so it's not surprising that in his written statement about why he wanted to participate in the New Mexico research, he replied: "I am an explorer, and I expect this will be an interesting experience.» — el retrato de Ben y su motivo declarado para entrar al estudio en su propia voz: se dice explorador

«At about 3 minutes, his neck showed some hives, something that had also happened to several other volunteers who had truly astonishing stories to tell us later.» — el signo físico que Strassman aprendió a leer: la urticaria en el cuello anunciaba un relato asombroso

«It started with a sound. It was high-pitched like a tightly taut wire. There were four or five of them. They were on me fast. As crazy as this sounds, they looked like saguaro cactus, very Peruvian in color. They were flexible, fluid, geometrical cacti.» — el informe de Ben, en cursiva: cuatro o cinco seres que se le echaron encima rápido y que, por increíble que suene, parecían cactus saguaro de color muy peruano. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y sigue en la 210

«they weren't non-benevolent. They probed, they really probed. They seemed to know time was limited. They wanted to know what I, this being who had shown up, was doing. I didn't answer. They knew. Once they decided I was okay, they went about their business.» — la continuación del informe de Ben en la plana siguiente, en cursiva: sondearon a fondo, sabían que el tiempo era corto y querían saber qué hacía ahí ese ser que había aparecido

«felt like something was inserted into my left forearm, right here, about three inches below this chain-link tattoo on my wrist. It was long. There were no reassurances with the probe. Simply business.» — lo que Ben reporta con dificultad, en cursiva: algo insertado en su antebrazo izquierdo, sin palabras de tranquilidad. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«Maybe at the onset, at just having my ego brushed aside. When they were on me, there was a little bit more confusion than fear. Kind of like, "Hey! What's this?!" And then there they were. There was no time for me to say, "Who the hell are you guys? Let's see some ID!» — la respuesta de Ben cuando la enfermera le pregunta si hubo miedo, en cursiva: más confusión que miedo al verse el yo apartado de un manotazo

«There are surprising and remarkable consistencies among volunteers' reports of contact with nonmaterial beings. Sound and vibration build until the scene almost explosively shifts to an "alien" realm. Volunteers find themselves on a bed or in a landing bay, research environment, or hightechnology room. The highly intelligent beings of this "other" world are interested in the subject, seemingly ready for his or her arrival and wasting no time in "getting to work." There might be one particular being clearly in charge, directing the others.» — el patrón común que Strassman extrae de todos esos relatos: sonido y vibración que crecen, un cambio explosivo de escena, un entorno de alta tecnología y un ser al mando

«Their "business" appeared to be testing, examining, probing, and even modifying the volunteer's mind and body. Sometimes testing came first, and after results were satisfactory, further interactions took place. They also communicated with the volunteers, attempting to convey information by gestures, telepathy, or visual imagery. The purpose of contact was uncertain, but several subjects felt a benevolent attempt on the beings' part to improve us individually or as a race.» — lo que Strassman consigna de la ocupación de esos seres y del propósito que varios voluntarios le atribuyeron: mejorarnos como individuos o como especie

«I was baffled and nonplussed by the sheer volume and bizarre nature of these reports. My crude and minimal responses to volunteers' tales in this chapter clearly reflect my quandary.» — lo que Strassman declara de su propio desconcierto ante estos relatos y de la pobreza de sus propias respuestas

«regularity and consistency of these reports, and the strength of the sense of reality behind them, supported a biological explanation. We were activating certain hard-wired sites in the brain that elicit a display of visions and feelings in the mind. How else could so many people report similar experiences: insect-like, reptilian creatures?» — la primera explicación que Strassman ensaya, la biológica: sitios cableados del cerebro que al activarse dan visiones semejantes en mucha gente. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana: la oración empieza en la 210

«I believed that these experiences were hallucinations, albeit rather complicated ones—simply products of brain chemistry brought on by a "hallucinogenic" drug, like a waking dream. Several volunteers' eyeballs did rotate in their sockets during high-dose DMT sessions, reminding me of rapid-eye-movement sleep, when dreaming occurs. Maybe DMT was inducing a wakeful dream state.» — la hipótesis del sueño en vigilia que Strassman sostuvo, apoyada en la rotación de los globos oculares que observó en varias sesiones

«However, research subjects tenaciously resisted biological explanations because such explanations reduced the enormity, consistency, and undeniability of their encounters. How could anyone believe there were chunks of brain tissue that, when activated, flashed encounters with beings, experimentation, and reprogramming? Neither did suggesting that it was a waking dream satisfy volunteers' need for a model that made sense and fit with their experience. Many even prefaced their reports by saying, "This was not a dream," or, "I couldn't have made it up if I wanted to.» — la resistencia de los voluntarios a esa explicación y las dos frases con que la rechazaban

«At a slightly more abstract level, I tried a psychological explanation. That is, these experiences were symbolic of something else: wishes, fears, or unresolved conflicts. However, these "symbolic" explanations weren't any more successful. Even gently persistent interpretations fell flat. How could these experiences reflect unconscious psychological issues like aggressive or dependent wishes?» — la segunda explicación que Strassman ensaya, la psicológica, y su fracaso declarado

«For others, however, this need took on a pressing urgency. How could they have possibly undergone the experience they just did? Was it their imagination? How could their imagination generate a scenario that felt more real than waking consciousness? If it were "real," how does one now live his or her life, knowing that existing right now are multiple invisible realms inhabited by intelligent life-forms? Who are those beings? What is the nature of their relationship to the volunteers now that they had made "contact"?» — las preguntas que Strassman dice que se les volvieron urgentes a los voluntarios que no podían despachar lo vivido como cosa de la droga

«At a certain point I decided to suspend my reductionistic, materialistic, "I know what this is" approach. Not that doing so helped me feel any more comfortable with what I was hearing. But at least I no longer would risk making things worse by explaining away people's experiences as something else. Interpreting, explaining, or otherwise reducing their reports usually caused volunteers to shut down, and I knew I would be missing valuable and important pieces of the entire story if I couldn't encourage them to talk.» — la decisión de método que Strassman toma: suspender el enfoque reduccionista, no porque se sintiera más cómodo, sino para no perder lo que los voluntarios podían contar

«So, as a thought experiment, I decided to act as if the worlds that the volunteers visited and the inhabitants with whom they interacted were real, as real as Room 531, the hospital bed, the research nurse, and myself. There now was freedom to respond more empathically, and to see where it led. It also made it possible to start considering other ways of understanding research subjects' eerily consistent reports. Nevertheless, there was a nagging discomfort in taking this approach in responding to reports of contact.» — el experimento mental que Strassman declara: actuar como si esos mundos y sus habitantes fueran tan reales como el cuarto 531, con la incomodidad que le quedaba

«I began wondering if I were starting a descent into some sort of communal psychosis.» — la duda que Strassman se plantea sobre sí mismo al adoptar esa postura

«So did the volunteers. Upon hearing of similar encounters by their comrades at our post-study socials, several subjects decided to form a DMT support group that met every month or two. Their reason? "I can't talk with anyone about these things." "No one would understand. It's just too strange." "I want to remind myself that I'm not losing my mind.» — el grupo de apoyo que los propios voluntarios formaron y las tres razones que dieron, en la voz de ellos

«They also left me feeling confused and concerned about where the spirit molecule was leading us. It was at this point that I began to wonder if I was getting in over my head with this research.» — lo que Strassman declara de su propio estado ante los dos casos más complejos de contacto. La capitular se pierde en la capa de texto

«The experiences were such that my models of the mind, the brain, and reality started seeming too limited to absorb and hold the nature of what volunteers like Rex and Sara were undergoing.» — el límite que Strassman reconoce en sus propios modelos de la mente, del cerebro y de la realidad ante esos dos casos

«Were we opening up Pandora's box? How were volunteers going to live their lives from that point on, after having experienced such an inexplicable but certain reality? What could we tell them that would ease their confusion?» — las preguntas que Strassman se hace sobre la responsabilidad del equipo ante lo que los voluntarios vivieron. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana: la oración empieza en la 213

«If their sessions had taken place earlier in the research, we might not have been as supportive of their telling, nor learned the level of detail we did.» — la acotación de Strassman sobre el orden en que ocurrieron esos casos: más temprano en la investigación quizá no los habría acompañado igual

«Rex's and Sara's sessions may have been so extraordinary because they quickly suspended their disbelief and shock when the spirit molecule threw open the doors to the unseen worlds and introduced them to the inhabitants of those places. They both had been through a lot in their lives and were remarkably able to keep their wits about them in stressful and frightening circumstances. They entered those types of situations trying to learn everything they could from them, disregarding nothing, accepting as much as they possibly could.» — la explicación que Strassman ofrece de lo extraordinario de esos dos casos: suspendieron pronto la incredulidad y conservaron el aplomo

«While a journeyman carpenter by trade, he had also won some local awards for his creative writing. He was loosely allied with the Wicca religion, a nature-based practice and community.» — la presentación del voluntario a quien el libro llama Rex, carpintero y escritor premiado localmente, a quien Strassman describe como ligado sin estrechez a la religión wicca

«I want to explore the potentials of the mind, the nature of actual and perceived reality and our relationship to reality, and to God. I hope to gain at least greater selfknowledge.» — los motivos declarados de Rex para entrar al estudio, en su propia voz; el troceo parte por guion a fin de renglón y span() une *self-knowledge* en *selfknowledge*: el impreso lleva el guion léxico y el verbatim va como lo devuelve la herramienta

«There was a humming sound. I couldn't tell if it was the air conditioner. Then I felt like I was suddenly in the presence of an alien or of aliens, vaguely humanoid. There were serpentine colors surrounding them, producing an outline of their shape. Based on my reading, I expected leprechauns, not anything like this.» — el informe de Rex tras su dosis baja, en cursiva: una presencia alienígena vagamente humanoide con colores serpentinos, y la sorpresa de que no fueran los duendes que sus lecturas le hacían esperar

«The bed was spinning, rocking, it was uncomfortable, alarming. There was some constriction in my chest. That feeling then turned into the alien presence. I tried to make contact and relax into it. It seemed a lot more in control than I was. It was interested in my fear and in me.» — la continuación del informe de Rex, en cursiva: la presencia parecía mucho más en control que él y estaba interesada en su miedo

«Be ready to be dismembered tomorrow. I know that's a grim suggestion, but it sounds like you may be in for a fairly rough ride.» — la advertencia con que Strassman prepara a Rex para la dosis alta del día siguiente

«His comment reminded me of a Tibetan meditation practice I had learned many summers before. The method was simply to ask yourself over and over again, "Is this what I am?" With whatever answer you gave— "my body," "my job," "my relationships"—it was important to ask again, "Is this what I am?" My body, mind, identity, opinions, feelings, all began falling away. This meditation upset me so much that I ran outside and vomited.» — la práctica de meditación tibetana que Strassman dice haber aprendido y el efecto que le produjo: preguntarse una y otra vez si eso es lo que uno es, hasta que todo se cae

«Sometimes nausea and vertigo can relate to something that you're not wanting to acknowledge, something deep but obvious. Is there anything important these days that you're trying not to think about?» — la interpretación con que Strassman aborda el miedo de Rex al vértigo y la náusea

«The commitment issue is important. A commitment to yourself and then the commitment to not having a self once that happens. I guess ultimately a commitment to a faith that you will be looked after, and not be abused when you're in need.» — lo que Strassman le devuelve a Rex sobre el miedo al compromiso, hasta la fe en ser cuidado y no explotado en la necesidad

«We went on in this vein for a while. Within half an hour, Rex seemed much calmer, although I was feeling sick to my stomach and dizzy. That seemed a signal that he had expelled his fear, and it had landed in me.» — lo que Strassman consigna del traspaso de malestar entre él y Rex antes de la sesión

«When I was first going under there were these insect creatures all around me. They were clearly trying to break through. I was fighting letting go of who I am or was. The more I fought, the more demonic they became, probing into my psyche and being. I finally started letting go of parts of myself, as I could no longer keep so much of me together. As I did, I still clung to the idea that all was God, and that God was love, and I was giving myself up to God and God's love because I was certain I was dying.» — el informe de Rex tras su dosis alta, en cursiva: criaturas insectoides que pugnaban por entrar y se volvían más demoníacas cuanto más se resistía, mientras él se entregaba a lo que llamaba Dios y amor

«As I accepted my death and dissolution into Gods love, the insectoids began to feed on my heart, devouring the feelings of love and surrender.» — la continuación del informe de Rex, en cursiva: los insectoides se alimentaban de su corazón y devoraban los sentimientos de amor y entrega. La capa de texto pierde el apóstrofo de *God's*

«It's not like LSD. Things really closed in around me, in comparison to the spaciousness that I feel with LSD. There was no feeling of space. Everything was in close. I've never seen anything like that. They were interested in emotion. As I was holding on to my last thought, that God equals love, they said, "Even here?» — el contraste que Rex traza con el LSD, en cursiva, y la pregunta que los seres le repetían mientras él sostenía que Dios es amor

«They were still there but I was making love to them at the same time. They feasted as they made love to me. I don't know if they were male or female or something else, but it was extremely alien, though not necessarily unpleasant. The thought came to me with certainty that they were manipulating my DNA, changing its structure.» — la continuación del informe de Rex, en cursiva: hacer el amor con ellos mientras se alimentaban, y la certeza de que le manipulaban el ADN

«The sheer intensity was almost unbearable. The forms became increasingly sinister the more I fought. I'm going to need therapy after this—sex with insects!» — el cierre del informe de Rex, en cursiva, con el chiste con que lo remata

«Mmmm. Maybe, I don't know. It was nonverbal communication. "Even here? Even here?" was not spoken in words. It was an empathic communication, a telepathic communication.» — cómo Rex rechaza la interpretación psicológica que Strassman le ofrece, en cursiva: insiste en que la comunicación fue telepática y sin palabras

«Right now? My body doesn't feel quite my own. There is still something of the other dimension flowing through it. I feel permeated by something else.» — lo que Rex reporta a los veintiocho minutos, en cursiva: el cuerpo no del todo suyo y algo de la otra dimensión corriéndole por dentro

«That's right. That's true. Depending on the person, it could throw them over the edge. Is it self? Is it other? I just don't know. I just don't know where these things come from.» — la reserva con que Rex cierra su sesión, en cursiva: no sabe si es propio o ajeno ni de dónde vienen esas cosas

«This question about "being high"—/ don't know. I had my capacities. I was able to observe quite clearly. I didn't feel stoned or intoxicated; it was just happening.» — lo que Rex responde a la pregunta de la escala sobre estar elevado, en cursiva: conservaba sus facultades y no se sentía drogado

«now have the feeling that there's something more that I can't access in my daily life. I guess it's the feeling of having made alien contact. I guess I have an expectation of that contact in everyday life. I hope for it. I know it's there.» — lo que Rex reporta del efecto duradero de aquel encuentro, en cursiva: la expectativa de contacto en la vida diaria. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«realize the intense pulsating-buzzing sound and vibration are an attempt by the DMT entities to communicate with me. The beings were there and they were doing something to me, experimenting on me.» — el informe de Rex con 0.2 mg/kg, en cursiva: lee el zumbido y la vibración como intento de comunicación de las entidades del DMT, que experimentaban con él. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«There were creatures and machinery. It looked like it was in afield of black space. There were brilliant psychedelic colors outlining the creatures and the machinery. The field went on forever. They were sharing this with me, letting me see all this. There was a female. I felt like I was dying, then she appeared and reassured me. She accompanied me during the viewing of the machinery and the creatures. When I was with her I had a deep feeling of relaxation and tranquility.» — la continuación del informe de Rex, en cursiva: criaturas y maquinaria en un campo de espacio negro, y una figura femenina que lo acompaña y lo tranquiliza. La capa de texto funde *a field* en *afield*

«know, but they do seem like something else. They seem like guardians, gatekeepers.» — cómo Rex vuelve a rechazar la interpretación psicológica de Strassman: para él son guardianes y porteros, no material propio; va en cursiva en el impreso y la capa de texto vuelve barra su I inicial

«They were pouring communication into me but it was just so intense. I couldn't bear it. There were rays of psychedelic yellow light coming out of the face of the reassuring entity. She was trying to communicate with me. She seemed very concerned for me, and the effects I was experiencing due to her attempts at communicating.» — la continuación del informe de Rex, en cursiva: rayos de luz amarilla saliendo del rostro de la entidad que trataba de comunicarse y se preocupaba por lo que eso le hacía

«There was something outlined in green, right in front of me and above me here. It was rotating and doing things. She was showing me, it seemed like, how to use this thing. It resembled a computer terminal. I believe she wanted me to try to communicate with her through that device. But I couldn 't figure it out.» — el final de ese informe, en cursiva: un artefacto como terminal de computadora que ella le enseñaba a usar y que él no supo manejar. La capa de texto separa *couldn t*

«Rex's blood pressure was quite high at the 2-minute point, 180/130, and I gestured for Laura to check it again at 3 minutes. It remained high, and his heart rate was slowing, a normal physiological defense mechanism to protect the brain and other organs from too high a pressure. However, he looked well.» — lo que Strassman mide en esa sesión de Rex con pindolol, y la lectura fisiológica que le da a la baja del pulso

«I have a sensation that is really strange. Its kind of like lying in a hot bath. "Are you warm?" Mmm, a little. Mostly I'm drowsy. Things about the room look funny. It came on real strong. I thought it would last and last and never go away. It was the same place, neon lights defined everything. I was in a huge infinite hive. There were insectlike intelligences everywhere. They were in a hypertechnological space.» — el informe de Rex tras la dosis con pindolol, en cursiva: una colmena infinita de inteligencias insectoides en un espacio hipertecnológico; el troceo parte por guion a fin de renglón y span() une *hyper-technological* en *hypertechnological*: el impreso lleva el guion léxico y el verbatim va como lo devuelve la herramienta

«At one point I felt wet stuff hitting me all over my body. They were dripping stuff on me. Everything in there was friendly. I don't think I lost consciousness but I can't bring it all back.» — la continuación del informe de Rex, en cursiva: algo húmedo goteando sobre su cuerpo y todo amistoso ahí dentro. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 220 a la 221

«There was one that was with me by my side. There was the same pulsating vibration. They wanted me to join them, to stay with them. I was tempted.» — lo que Rex reporta de la invitación a quedarse con ellos, en cursiva, y su propia tentación

«It was very intelligent. It wasn't at all humanoid. It wasn't a bee but it seemed like one. It was showing me around the hive. It was extremely friendly, and I felt a warm sensual energy radiating throughout the hive. I decided it must be a wonderful thing to live in a loving and sensual environment such as that. It said to me that this was where our future lay. I don't know why it said that or what it meant or if that's a good thing or not.» — el informe de Rex sobre el ser que lo guiaba por la colmena, en cursiva: algo como una abeja que le dijo que ahí estaba nuestro futuro, sin que él sepa qué significaba

«Where had Rex gone? Who were the insectlike beings with such a keen interest in and complex relationships with him—devouring and consuming, but also loving and nurturing? My attempts at suggesting a personal psychological meaning fell on deaf ears, something that routinely occurred in our volunteers whenever I tried to help them interpret their experiences in that manner.» — las preguntas que Strassman se hace sobre el caso de Rex y el reconocimiento de que sus interpretaciones psicológicas caían en saco roto

«Rex was at peace with his experiences, and he incorporated them into his understanding of the increasingly complex and symbol-rich dreams that began developing. He also started reading more seriously about psychedelic plants and shamanism.» — lo que Strassman consigna del efecto posterior en Rex: paz con lo vivido, sueños más simbólicos y lecturas de plantas psicodélicas y chamanismo

«Before one of his last pindolol days, he asked me to look at a festering mole on his leg. I urged him to immediately consult with a dermatologist, who diagnosed malignant melanoma. Rex could not be in any more studies until his cancer was worked up and treated. Thankfully, the melanoma had not spread, and he was treated successfully with simple removal of the tumor. By that time, though, I had left New Mexico.» — el desenlace médico del caso de Rex: un melanoma maligno detectado a tiempo y extirpado

«Sara probably had suffered from the most serious depression of any of our volunteers, having overdosed on prescription tranquilizers in her midtwenties. She had to be involuntarily hospitalized for two weeks after her suicide attempt and subsequently took antidepressants for several years. Nevertheless, her mood had been excellent without any medication for over a decade, and she was one of our most content and insightful research subjects.» — la presentación de la voluntaria a quien el libro llama Sara, con su historia de depresión grave y su estado al entrar al estudio

«Sara told us that an "angel" had visited her once when she had had a high fever as a child, and she now had "spirit guides" with whom she communicated for advice and support. She considered herself "more sensitive than most people to healing and psychic energies.» — lo que Sara declara de su propia vida espiritual: un ángel que la visitó de niña con fiebre alta y guías espirituales con quienes se comunica

«the Wicca religion, as did Rex, and they knew each other through the greater Wiccan community.» — lo que Strassman consigna de la adscripción religiosa de Sara y de Rex y del vínculo entre ellos dentro de la comunidad wicca. El verbatim arranca donde el troceo reemite la marca de la plana 222 al abrir chunk, a media oración

«Sara volunteered for this study for "personal understanding and expansion of consciousness. I hope I will come to a deeper understanding of myself and my relationship to the universe and unseen worlds." Her fears hinged on "being lost in an abyss, and of not being brave enough to face the challenge.» — los motivos y los temores declarados de Sara, en su propia voz

«There was a sound, like a hum that turned into a whoosh, and then I was blasted out of my body at such speed, with such force, as if it were the speed of light. The colors were aggressive, terrifying; I felt as if they would consume me, as if I were on a warp-speed conveyer belt heading straight into the cosmic psychedelic buzzsaw. I was terrified. I felt abandoned. I'm completely and totally lost. I have never been so alone. How can you describe what it feels like to be the only entity in the universe?» — las notas que Sara escribió sobre su dosis alta, en cursiva: la salida del cuerpo a velocidad de la luz, los colores agresivos y la soledad de ser la única entidad del universo. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 222 a la 223

«There are sounds: high-pitched singing, like angel voices. But they aren't comforting. They are very impersonal and don't care about me. They are simply part of the background noise of blasting through the void of the universe. It felt like going backward from life in a physical body to life as simply an energy form with no body. The essence of who I am was alone in the void, back in the staging area for life where souls wait to incarnate. I was in a place where there are no physical life-forms, only colors and sounds. The singing angels were there only to observe me, not to comfort me. But even though they didn't comfort me, I did bring back an incredible sense of Love.» — la continuación de las notas de Sara, en cursiva: voces de ángeles impersonales que solo observaban, el área de espera donde las almas aguardan encarnar, y el amor que aun así se trajo

«A male presence tries to communicate with me, but I don't understand. I use my mind to ask, "What?" The reply is garbled. It (he) is trying to tell me I will see something. But what? I try to ask, "Will I know it when I see it?" The presence tells me I will see something. Is it by the horizon's light I see in the vast darkness? There is a great roaring sound. It interferes with the voice because I know it is a jet "out there." I'm coming back. The Voice is gone.» — la continuación de las notas de Sara, en cursiva: una presencia masculina que le anuncia que verá algo, interrumpida por el ruido de un avión

«It starts with my face seeming to harden up, become firm rather than nebulous. I feel the blood pressure cuff inflate. The rest of my body comes together, and I know I'm completely back. I lift up the eyeshades. I feel a deep and poignant love for Laura and Rick, whom I see first. I turn my head to see Kevin. What a beautiful relief.» — el regreso que describe Sara en sus notas, en cursiva, con el amor hondo por los presentes

«The first trip was lots of spinning colors. I was scared, but I kept telling myself, "Relax, surrender, embrace." Then I saw what I can only describe as a Las Vegas-casino type of scene, all flashing and whirling lights. I was rather disappointed. Here I'm expecting this profound spiritual experience and I get Las Vegas! But then, before I had much time to be disappointed, I "flew" on and saw clowns performing. They were like toys, or animated clowns. I had the overwhelming urge to laugh. I was kind of self-conscious about it at first, but I couldn't contain myself and I laughed out loud watching those clowns.» — las notas de Sara sobre la primera dosis del estudio de tolerancia, en cursiva: una escena de casino de Las Vegas en lugar de la experiencia espiritual esperada, y luego los payasos

«Rick told me the clowns are a common experience. In fact, he said, "Oh, you saw the clowns?" as if they were old friends or something. Then he said, "Yes, they're hilarious." I felt more confident and not as scared.» — lo que Sara anota de la respuesta de Strassman ante los payasos, que él reconoció como viejos conocidos, y el efecto que le hizo

«This time the aggressive spinning colors were almost familiar. Suddenly, a pulsating "entity" appeared in the patterns. It sounds weird to describe it as "Tinkerbell-like." It was trying to coax me to go with it. At first I was reluctant, because I didn't know about finding my way back. By the time I made up my mind that I did want to go with it, I could tell the drug was starting to wear off, and I wasn't "high" enough to follow it.» — las notas de Sara sobre la segunda dosis, en cursiva: una entidad pulsante que ella describe como de hada y que la invitaba a irse con ella cuando el efecto ya bajaba

«It didn't seem to be offended and, in fact, "followed" me back until I sensed it had reached its boundary. I felt like it was saying good-bye. Reentry was slow, and I was reluctant to take off the eyeshades.» — el cierre de esa nota de Sara, en cursiva: la entidad la acompañó de vuelta hasta su propio límite y pareció despedirse

«The best is to have no intention. If you intend something and it doesn't happen, you'll bump against it. You'll react against it. Just feel your body lying in bed and try and empty your mind.» — la instrucción de Strassman a Sara sobre cómo entrar sin intención

«realized what Rick said was true, that the most intense part of each trip was spent tangled up in these colors. This time, I quickly blasted through to the "other side." / was in a void of darkness. Suddenly, beings appeared. They were cloaked, like silhouettes. They were glad to see me. They indicated that they had had contact with me as an individual before.» — las notas de Sara sobre la tercera dosis, en cursiva: atravesó pronto los colores al otro lado y aparecieron seres encapuchados que se alegraron de verla y dijeron haber tenido contacto con ella antes. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«They seemed pleased that we had discovered this technology. I felt like a spiritual seeker who had gotten too far off course and, instead of encountering the spirit world, overshot my destination and ended up on another planet.» — la continuación de esa nota, en cursiva: Sara se compara con un buscador espiritual que se pasó de destino y acabó en otro planeta

«They wanted to learn more about our physical bodies. They told me humans exist on many levels. I needed to reconnect with my body in time for the blood pressure check and blood sampling. It was as if they, rather than Laura, were collecting the information, and they appreciated my doing it for them. Somehow we had something in common. They told me to "embrace peace.» — el resto de esa nota, en cursiva: los seres querían saber más de nuestros cuerpos, le dijeron que los humanos existen en muchos niveles y le pidieron abrazar la paz

«could feel myself begin to slip away from them as the drug wore off. As I started to come down, I saw these things from their world that I really can't describe. I thought of how the South Pacific natives could see only Captain Cook's small boats, and not his big ships, until they actually climbed on board and touched them.» — el cierre de las notas de Sara sobre esa dosis, en cursiva, con el símil de los isleños del Pacífico que solo veían los botes de Cook y no sus barcos

«We have things we can offer you too. Spirituality. . . . Okay, hurry up. Right there, right there. I did it for you. There, you can go out.» — lo que Strassman registró a la cabecera durante la cuarta dosis de Sara, en cursiva en el impreso

«I went directly into deep space. They knew I was coming back and they were ready for me. They told me there were many things they could share with us when we learn how to make more extended contact. Again, they wanted something from me, not just physical information. They were interested in emotions and feelings.» — las notas de Sara sobre la cuarta dosis, en cursiva: los seres la esperaban y querían de ella algo que no era información física, sino emociones y sentimientos

«I felt a tremendous energy, brilliant pink light with white edges, building on my left side. I knew it was spiritual energy and Love. They were on my right, so I reached out my hands across the universe and prepared to be a bridge. I let this energy pass through me to them. I said something like, "See, there I did it for you. You have it.» — la continuación de esa nota, en cursiva: la energía rosa de bordes blancos que ella identifica con lo espiritual y el amor, y el hacerse puente para pasársela

«I was a little disappointed that experience was spent "giving" when what I wanted was spiritual enlightenment. Should I have asked for something to take back first? I guess I don't feel comfortable in my role as an earthly spiritual emissary. But I did my best. I always knew we weren't alone in the universe. I thought that the only way to encounter them is with bright lights and flying saucers in outer space. It never occurred to me to actually encounter them in our own inner space. I thought the only things we could encounter were things in our own personal sphere of archetypes and mythology. I expected spirit guides and angels, not alien life-forms.» — el balance que Sara hace de esa sesión, en cursiva: esperaba guías espirituales y ángeles, no formas de vida alienígenas, y no acaba de sentirse cómoda como emisaria espiritual terrestre

«It's difficult to sort through all this. Was it real? It certainly seemed real, but so do dreams when they are happening. But there was something about this that was different from a dream, even the lucid dreams I some» — las notas de Sara sobre su estado después de esas sesiones: parecía real como parecen reales los sueños, y a la vez distinto de un sueño. El tramo se corta donde el troceo reemite la marca de la plana 227 al abrir chunk, a media palabra de *sometimes*

«Were there really other life-forms out there? Did I really send them the power of Love and spirituality? Even more disturbing, did they somehow mark me? Are they watching me somehow? It makes me feel a little crazy and very confused. Even worse, I feel very isolated in my experience. How can anyone except someone who has been there understand? Maybe this stuff did make me go nuts. I know it sure changed my life. Now, what am I going to do with it? How do I keep something this big inside?» — la continuación de esas notas, en cursiva: las preguntas por si la marcaron y la vigilan, el aislamiento de quien no puede contarlo, y la de qué hacer con algo tan grande

«I was not at all familiar with the alien abduction literature before beginning the DMT study. Neither were many of our volunteers. I knew almost nothing about it, and had little desire to learn more. It seemed much more "fringe" than even the study of psychedelic drugs! However, once we began hearing so many tales of entity encounters, I knew I could no longer plead ignorance of the larger phenomenon.» — lo que Strassman declara de su propia ignorancia previa del asunto de las abducciones y de por qué dejó de poder alegarla

«ease our acceptance of my proposition that the alien abduction experience is made possible by excessive brain levels of DMT. This may occur spontaneously through any of the previously described conditions that activate pineal DMT formation. It also might take place when DMT levels rise from taking in the drug from the outside, as in our studies.» — la proposición central de Strassman sobre las abducciones, enunciada como tal: la experiencia sería posible por niveles cerebrales excesivos de DMT, de origen espontáneo o administrado. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana: la oración empieza en la 226

«Psychiatrist John Mack has published many reports from "abductees," people whom he now calls "experiencers," in his books Abduction and Passport to the Cosmos.» — Strassman nombra a John Mack y sus dos libros, y consigna que Mack pasó de llamarlos abducidos a llamarlos experienciadores

«consciousness is disturbed by a bright light, humming sounds, strange bodily vibrations or paralysis . . . or the appearance of one or more humanoid or even human-appearing strange beings in their environment.» — según Strassman, así describe Mack el inicio del episodio, en la letra de Mack; el verbatim arranca dentro de la cita que Strassman abre, tras las palabras con que la introduce

«Mack emphasizes the sense of highfrequency vibrations many abductees report, which may cause them to feel as if they are coming apart at the molecular level.» — lo que Strassman destaca del relato de Mack: la vibración de alta frecuencia que hace sentir que uno se descompone a nivel molecular; el troceo parte por guion a fin de renglón y span() une *high-frequency* en *highfrequency*: el impreso lleva el guion léxico y el verbatim va como lo devuelve la herramienta

«Experiencers are absolutely under the aliens' control. Despite the obviously unexpected and bizarre nature of what they are undergoing, there is no doubt in their minds that it really is happening. Thus, they describe their experiences as "more real than real."» — el rasgo que Strassman subraya del relato de Mack y que empalma con el de sus voluntarios: la certeza de que lo vivido es más real que lo real

«Varying degrees of anxiety occur in this preliminary stage, especially if it feels as if one's consciousness is separating from the body. For many, the experience of fear is by itself somehow transformative. "Letting go" into the terror seems to change the nature of the experience from negative to positive.» — lo que Strassman consigna del papel del miedo en esos relatos: soltarse dentro del terror cambia el signo de la experiencia

«The "typical" alien looks like the ones portrayed commonly in the media: large head, skinny body, big eyes, small or no mouth, gray skin. However, Mack also reports frequent descriptions of reptiles, mantises, and spiders.» — el retrato del alienígena típico según Strassman, y las formas que Mack reporta con frecuencia y que coinciden con las de los voluntarios

«Many abductees report a complicated scenario revolving around the aliens using their reproductive machinery to breed "human-alien hybrids." However, Mack reports that the hybrid project "is by no means all that happens. . . . They may be gazed at closely . . . and otherwise examined, probed, and monitored.» — lo que Strassman resume de Mack: el proyecto de híbridos no es todo lo que ocurre, y los experienciadores también son mirados de cerca, examinados, sondeados y vigilados, con la letra de Mack dentro

«On other occasions, the experiencers report probes being inserted into their brains through the nose, ears, and eyes, and they may feel that their psyche has been transformed. . . . Implants are inserted under the skin ... and they may feel certain that these represent some sort of tracking or monitoring devices.» — la continuación de esa exposición de Mack: sondas metidas al cerebro por nariz, oídos y ojos, e implantes bajo la piel que los experienciadores toman por aparatos de rastreo

«Abductees report "that the beings appear to be greatly interested in our physicality and emotionality, seeming, as is said of angels, to envy our embodiment. . . they need something that only human love can provide.» — según Strassman, Mack reporta que los seres envidian nuestra corporalidad como se dice de los ángeles y necesitan algo que solo el amor humano da

«As Mack describes, the "experience of connection between one or more of the alien beings and the abductees with whom they relate is a powerful and consistent aspect of the experience. . . . Commonly the initial memories . . . are of cold, indifferent contacts in which the aliens (especially the gray reptilian or praying-mantis-like beings) render the person altogether helpless.» — lo que Strassman cita de Mack sobre el vínculo entre el ser y el experienciador, frío e indiferente en los primeros recuerdos

«It is common for abductees to feel as if there is one alien in particular with whom they have a special relationship. It's as if this alien is "in charge."» — el rasgo que Strassman destaca por coincidir con sus voluntarios: un ser en particular al mando

«Experiencers often report that the aliens are urgently notifying them that Earth is in danger.» — el mensaje de urgencia que Strassman consigna del material de Mack: los seres avisan que la Tierra está en peligro. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la frase sigue en la 230

«either provide reproductive material for the hybrid project or decide to spread the message of environmental degradation to a wider audience.» — la continuación en la plana siguiente: los abducidos o aportan material reproductivo o difunden el mensaje de la degradación ambiental

«As Mack's work with his subjects has progressed, he notes another common, perhaps even basic, element of the abduction experience. This is the transformational and spiritual nature of the encounter: "[t]he collapse of space/time perception, a sense of entering other dimensions of reality or universes . . . a feeling of connection with all of creation.» — el elemento que Strassman destaca como quizá básico en el trabajo de Mack: el carácter transformador y espiritual del encuentro, con la letra de Mack dentro

«Abductees' sense of belonging in that realm may be so acute as to create a yearning for it—a desire "not to come back." Many abductees no longer feared death, knowing that their consciousness would survive the body's death. One even considered the idea of killing himself so that he could return to the blissful state he encountered during his abductions.» — lo que Strassman consigna del anhelo de no volver y de la pérdida del miedo a la muerte entre los abducidos, incluido el caso del que pensó en matarse para regresar

«The resemblance of Mack's account of the alien abductions of "experiencers" to the contacts described by our own volunteers is undeniable. How can anyone doubt, after reading our accounts in these last two chapters, that DMT elicits "typical" alien encounters? If presented with a record of several of our research subjects' accounts, with all references to DMT removed, could anyone distinguish our reports from those of a group of abductees?» — la conclusión de Strassman sobre ese paralelo, formulada como pregunta al lector

«Shocking and unsettling as they were, contact with life-forms from another dimension was never on the list of volunteers' reasons for participating in our research. Neither was it something I expected with any frequency. Rather, it was the transpersonal, mystical, and spiritual states to which they aspired. It is to these that we now will shift our attention.» — la acotación con que Strassman cierra los dos capítulos de contacto: nadie entró al estudio buscando eso, y lo buscado eran los estados transpersonales

«oince Raymond Moody published Life After Life in 1975, and Kenneth Ring Life at Death in 1980, the expression "near-death experience" has been a part of our vocabulary.» — Strassman fecha la entrada del término experiencia cercana a la muerte en el vocabulario común, con los dos libros que la trajeron. La capitular se pierde en la capa de texto y el renglón arranca en *oince* donde el impreso pone *Since*

«The broad outline of a near-death experience (NDE) includes the sensation of rapid travel through a tunnel, sometimes accompanied by voices, songs, or music. There is the presence of "others"—living or dead relatives, friends, and family members. These beings also may take the form of spirits, angels, or other "helpers." The realization may come that one really is dead.» — el esquema general de la experiencia cercana a la muerte que da Strassman: el túnel, las voces o la música, la presencia de otros y la constatación de estar muerto

«Some experience a "life review," the organized and rapid recollection of personal memories ending at this» — el rasgo de la revisión de la vida, que Strassman describe como recolección organizada y rápida de los recuerdos hasta el momento presente. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana

«present moment. Some feel "commanded" to return to life because it is not yet time for them to die.» — el otro rasgo del esquema, ya en la plana siguiente: el mandato de volver porque aún no es hora

«The NDE may climax with a merging into an indescribably loving and powerful white light that emanates from the divine, holy, and sacred. This leads to a mystical or spiritual experience in which time and space lose all meaning. Those who undergo an NDE feel embraced by something much greater than themselves, or anything they previously could have imagined: the "source of all existence." There's a certainty that consciousness exists after death. Those who reach the mystical level of the NDE emerge with a greater appreciation for life, less fear of death, and a reorientation of their priorities to less material and more spiritual pursuits.» — el clímax de la experiencia cercana a la muerte según Strassman: la fusión con una luz blanca amorosa, la certeza de que la consciencia sigue tras la muerte y la reorientación de las prioridades

«Since one of the theories motivating my DMT research was the belief that the spirit molecule is released by the pineal gland when we die, or nearly die, I listened carefully for these types of experiences. If outside-administered DMT replicated features of the NDE, it would strengthen my hypothesis that endogenous DMT mediates naturally occurring NDEs.» — la hipótesis con que Strassman escuchaba esos relatos: si el DMT administrado repite los rasgos de la experiencia cercana a la muerte, refuerza que el endógeno la medie

«However, in only two research subjects, Willow and Carlos, did themes of death and dying clearly dominate the sessions. Therefore, based upon what we actually saw during our research, I now think this original expectation was naive.» — el resultado que Strassman consigna contra su propia expectativa, y el adjetivo con que la califica

«The problem with anticipating frequent NDEs in our volunteers concerns set and setting. Clearly, many of our research subjects experienced a radical and complete separation of consciousness from their bodies. For most of us, this would make us feel as if we had died. However, many of our recruits had already undergone this type of dissociation in their previous psychedelic experiences. They knew what it was when it happened at the Research Center. They realized they weren't dying or near death, and therefore they could watch the unfolding of effects with far greater balance and poise. They did not panic, but instead kept alert and focused» — la explicación que Strassman da de ese resultado por el *set* y el *setting*: sus voluntarios ya conocían la disociación por sus experiencias previas, sabían que no estaban muriendo y podían observar con aplomo. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y sigue en la 233

«However, our volunteers were undergoing experiences probably only inexperienced and unprepared individuals would have interpreted as death or near-death.» — la acotación con que Strassman cierra ese punto

«More than once, the DMT sessions gave me the gift of truly subjectively knowing the phenomenon described in "Introductions to the Dead" in The Tibetan Book of the Dead. Even greater is the gift of knowing that I have had practice dying and returning.» — la carta que la voluntaria a quien el libro llama Elena envió un año después, en cursiva: dice haber conocido en carne propia lo descrito en el Libro tibetano de los muertos y haber practicado morir y volver

«In this centuries-old text, Tibetan Buddhist practitioners have "charted" out the various bardo states that one enters along the path from dying to rebirth into one's next life-form. Bardo is sometimes defined as "intermediary state," that is, between life, death, and rebirth. Many descriptions of the bardos echo unerringly reports gathered from those who have had an NDE.» — lo que Strassman consigna del Libro tibetano de los muertos: los estados bardo entre la muerte y el renacimiento, y su eco en los relatos de cercanía de la muerte

«It's so far out, so weird, so out of control, you have to learn something.» — lo que Sean dice de la sesión, en cursiva: es tan raro y tan fuera de control que algo se tiene que aprender. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y sigue en la 234

«I think I've learned what it's like to die, to be completely helpless in the throes of something. That's been helpful.» — la continuación en la plana siguiente, en cursiva: Sean dice haber aprendido lo que es morir y estar del todo inerme, y lo llama útil

«began to change noticeably. I knew I was going through the first bardo of death, that I had been here many times before, and it was okay. "This is just like the last time," / thought. Enough continuity with my waking consciousness gave me this thought next: "But this is my first time crossing over.» — la carta de Eli tras su primera dosis alta, en cursiva: reconoce el primer bardo de la muerte y lo halla familiar, con la contradicción de saber a la vez que es su primera travesía. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana: la nota empieza en la 233

«no longer fear death. It's like you're there one minute and then you're somewhere else, and that's just how it is. So I think it had that effect. These experiments are helping me in my reading of the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying.31 know what it's like to be totally free.» — lo que Eli reporta meses después, en cursiva: perdió el miedo a la muerte y liga la experiencia a su lectura del Libro tibetano de la vida y de la muerte. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«think the high dose is like a death trauma. It knocks you out of your body. I could have tolerated death or some major physical leaping-out-ofthis-plane type of experience under DMT. This would be a good drug for people in a hospice program or the terminally ill to have some acquaintance with.» — lo que el voluntario a quien el libro llama Joseph dice de la dosis alta, en cursiva, y el uso que le ve en cuidados paliativos. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«Willow was thirty-nine years old when she joined the DMT project. She was married and lived in a semirural part of the county. She was a medical social worker who treated drug-abusing professionals.» — la presentación de la voluntaria a quien el libro llama Willow, trabajadora social médica que atendía a profesionales con problemas de drogas. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la ironía de su propia participación se dice en la 235

«Willow used psychedelic drugs two or three times a year and had taken them around thirty times in total. She volunteered for the DMT project due to her "curiosity, and the opportunity to experience deeper or higher states of consciousness, to gain insights about my own functioning.» — los motivos declarados de Willow para entrar al estudio, en su propia voz

«Good. It's a very enchanting place. I almost don't want to leave it. Transitions are completions. How I am. Who I am.» — lo primero que dice Willow tras veinticinco minutos inmóvil, en cursiva en el impreso

«First I saw a tunnel or channel of light off to the right. I had to turn to go into it. Then the whole process repeated on the left. It was intentional that way. It was as if it had a source, further away. It got bigger farther away, like a funnel. It was bright and pulsating. There was a sound like music, like a score, but unfamiliar to me, supporting the emotional tone of the events and drawing me in. I was very small. It was very large. There were large beings in the tunnel, on the right side, next to me. I had a sense of great speed. Everything was unimportant relative to this. Things were flashing, flashing by, as if from a different perspective. It was so much more real than life.» — el informe de Willow sobre el túnel de luz, en cursiva: dos canales que se abren a derecha e izquierda, una música desconocida que la atraía y seres grandes junto a ella

«The left and right tunnels joined in front of me. There were gremlins, small, faces mostly. They had wings and tails and stuff. I paid them little» — la continuación del informe de Willow, en cursiva: los dos túneles se unen delante y aparecen duendecillos alados a los que presta poca atención. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y sigue en la 236

«attention. The larger beings were there to sustain and support me. That was their realm. A sort of good and evil thing: the gremlins versus the tall beings. The tall beings were loving, smiling and serene.» — la continuación en la plana siguiente, en cursiva: los seres altos la sostenían y eran amorosos y serenos, frente a los duendecillos, en lo que ella describe como una cosa de bien y mal

«Something rushed through me, out of me. I remember thinking at some point, "Here comes the separation." I felt my body only when I swallowed or breathed, and that really wasn't a physical feeling as much as a way of setting ripples through the experience. I felt strongly, "This is dying and this is okay.» — el momento que Willow nombra como separación, en cursiva, con la frase con que lo acepta

«I'm amazed DMT is in the body. It's therefor a reason. It's therefor dying today. I had a sense of dying, letting go and separating, after the beings in the tunnel helped me along.» — lo que Willow concluye de la presencia del DMT en el cuerpo, en cursiva: está ahí por una razón y está ahí para morir. La capa de texto funde *there for* en *therefor*

«The other side is very, very different. There are no words, body, or sounds there to limit things. I first saw deep space, white with stars. Then there was this multidimensional experience starting. It was alive. It was the aliveness that I heard. My body was trying to say, "Remember the body" as I was going into that place. It wasn't a desperate cry, but an attempt to keep it real, make the experience real from the point of view of the senses. The body wanted me back.» — la continuación del informe de Willow, en cursiva: el otro lado sin palabras ni cuerpo ni sonido, y su propio cuerpo llamándola de vuelta

«I thought I could see light down below, the world's light. It was like a little flap was lifted, like a simultaneous alternate reality.» — el cierre del informe de Willow, en cursiva: la luz del mundo vista desde abajo como una realidad alterna simultánea

«It's like a cosmic joke. If we all knew what was waiting for us, we'd all kill ourselves. That's why we stay in this form for so long, to figure that out. That's also why it's so hard to remember the immediacy of it.» — lo que Willow dice en su segunda dosis alta, en cursiva: si todos supiéramos lo que espera nos mataríamos, y por eso cuesta recordar

«I've been reading books about the near-death experience: Saved by the Light and Embraced by the Light. They really do a good job describing» — lo que Willow reporta de sus lecturas sobre la experiencia cercana a la muerte, en cursiva, con los dos títulos que nombra. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la frase termina en la 237

«Everyone should try a high dose of DMT once. I don't know if the beings today were saying "Try death once" or "Try life once." That place is so full and so complete that the idea of this place is to try and be as complete as possible. Yet when I came back into my body it was so heavy and so confining. Also, time here seems so strange. Eternity is an attribute of the place.» — lo que Willow sostiene tras esa sesión, en cursiva, sin decidir si los seres decían probar la muerte o probar la vida

«Her consciousness separated from her body, she moved rapidly through a tunnel, or tunnels, toward a warm, loving, allknowing white light. Beings helped her on the way, and some even threatened to drag her down. Beautiful music accompanied her on the early stages of the journey. Time and space lost all meaning. She was tempted not to return, but realized she needed to share the incredible information she received with this world. There were spiritual and mystical overtones to her joining with and basking in the white light.» — el resumen con que Strassman llama clásica, con reservas, la experiencia de Willow; el troceo parte por guion a fin de renglón y span() une *all-knowing* en *allknowing*: el impreso lleva el guion léxico y el verbatim va como lo devuelve la herramienta

«Willow's dawning awareness of a "light down below, the world's light" also reminds us of one of the last bardos in The Tibetan Book of the Dead. This is the stage in which the soul starts looking for a new body in which to incarnate, sees the lights of the world, and starts its descent.» — la correspondencia que Strassman traza entre ese pasaje de Willow y uno de los últimos bardos del Libro tibetano de los muertos

«Her comment about everyone committing suicide if they knew how great the "afterlife" is points out another similarity between Willow's experiences and those of "naturally occurring" NDEs: That is, those who have had an NDE do not rush off to suicide. Rather, they reside in the knowledge that there is "life after death," and that transition loses its sting. Thus, they are able to live life more fully, because the fear of death that drives so many to distraction is now so much less.» — la acotación de Strassman sobre el suicidio: quienes tienen una experiencia cercana a la muerte no corren a matarse, sino que viven con menos miedo

«I was interested to hear that she found reading popular books describing the near-death experience to be like reviewing her own DMT sessions. I needed little more validation to believe we were on the right track in relating high levels of DMT to the NDE.» — lo que Strassman toma del caso de Willow como validación de su hipótesis

«He hailed from Hispanic and northern Mexican-Indian families, had been married for nearly twenty years, and had two grown children. Carlos was a full-time software programmer and had attended the University of New Mexico for several years. He also was a practitioner of urban shamanism. In this capacity, he led a group in which chanting, visualization, and his teachings provided his students with a wide range of alternative states of consciousness. He had his feet in several worlds at once.» — la presentación del voluntario a quien el libro llama Carlos, programador y a la vez practicante de lo que el libro llama chamanismo urbano. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 237 a la 238

«He recently also had used the seeds of Datura stramonium, or jimsonweed, a highly toxic and dangerous plant that induces delirium and, at times, terrifying breaks with reality. There is not much difference between psychedelic and lethal doses of these seeds.» — lo que Strassman consigna del uso de semillas de Datura stramonium por Carlos y del margen estrecho entre la dosis psicodélica y la letal

«Carlos was not expecting much from "white man's medicine." This set up a curious dichotomy within me. On the one hand, I wanted to "show him who's got the better drugs." Not the most noble reaction, but true! On the other hand, I was concerned that his scoffing at DMT was not wise, and that he might be unpleasantly surprised by the intensity of its effects. Perhaps his cavalier attitude hid deeper fears.» — el conflicto que Strassman declara en sí mismo ante el escepticismo de Carlos, incluido el impulso poco noble de mostrarle quién tiene mejores drogas

«Before we began, he wanted to bless the DMT to "the four directions" and for the good of the community. This was traditional shamanic preparation of a mind-altering substance. His benedictions were simple but profound. They successfully established a feeling of deeper reverence for the work than was usually the case.» — la preparación chamánica con que Carlos bendijo el DMT a las cuatro direcciones, y el efecto que Strassman le reconoce en el cuarto

«hate this part. My own body, my energy starts to shake. It's like after any spiritual trip. It's like an aftershock. Every time I do any kind ofpsychoactive drug I shake for awhile. Do other people do that?» — lo que Carlos dice al empezar a temblar tras la dosis baja, en cursiva. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«Don't worry, this is nothing. It doesn't matter if it's a big dose or little dose of anything. I shake because of the post-traumatic effects.» — la explicación que Carlos da de sus propios temblores, en cursiva

«Oh, boy! There is no spiritual value . . . none! Ask me some questions.» — lo que Carlos exclama a los doce minutos de la dosis de 0.2 mg/kg, en cursiva

«I was wondering, "What is this?" Then it came to me. This is the drug. This is what it does. There was too much to process. It's like trying to listen to music that is just loud. I didn't know what was going on. I wondered if I'd died. I've taken so many psychedelics and nothing like this has ever happened. My nervous system was squashed. My spirit was smashed.» — el informe de Carlos sobre esa dosis, en cursiva: demasiado que procesar, la duda de haber muerto y el sistema nervioso aplastado

«When I think of spirit, it's the unborn and the undying. That which is before and after and doesn't depend on the body.» — la definición de espíritu que Strassman le opone a Carlos en el mismo cuarto

«saw who I am at a fundamental level. You know sonically or visually there is a certain spectrum that one can tune into that is one's individual self? That was just totally bare and it was there.» — lo que Carlos reporta haber visto de sí mismo, en cursiva. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«guess I will complete this study. I'll take the 0.4 and then I'll do the pindolol study. But I don't think I will do anymore. I think that the shamans» — el juicio con que Carlos cierra esa sesión, en cursiva: hará la dosis alta y el estudio con pindolol y no más. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial y el tramo se corta en el cruce de plana

«in South America use other plants to fill out and make the DMT more reasonable. Pure DMT seems empty or hollow.» — la continuación en la plana siguiente, en cursiva: Carlos sostiene que los chamanes sudamericanos usan otras plantas para hacer el DMT más razonable, y llama hueco al DMT puro

«It's a body fear primarily. It's stress. This is no chance to build up to it. It's just there so fast. With Datura, I have the fear of death but you can build up to it gradually. On that 0.2 dose last week, I thought you gave me the wrong drug, that I was poisoned, that I had died. The duress is terrible. I take substances to leave my body, not to put it under duress.» — lo que Carlos declara antes de la dosis alta, en su propia voz: con la Datura el miedo a morir se construye poco a poco y aquí está ahí de golpe

«It was really quite special. I wasn't human for about three and a half minutes. This dose creates a level of stress that's unparalleled in the annals of Carlos's history.» — lo que Carlos reporta tras la dosis de 0.4 mg/kg, en cursiva: no fue humano por tres minutos y medio

«met myself as the Creator.» — la frase con que Carlos nombra lo que le ocurrió, en cursiva. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«There was the sound of the entire universe, more like a hum. It was pervasive, overwhelming. I thought, "Holy moly, how did I get into this?" Things weren't right and were getting more wrong all the time. Then my ability to perceive as a human being winked out. There were no more emotions, because emotions work only up to a certain point.» — el informe de Carlos, en cursiva: un zumbido que era el sonido del universo entero y el apagarse de su capacidad de percibir como ser humano

«saw a man lying in a hospital room. He was naked with a person on either side of him, one female and one male. At first they didn't look like anybody I knew. They were perfect generic human beings. I recognized, in context, that they were me, you, and Laura. The way of knowing was totally different from this reality. I didn't know I was in a study of any kind.» — el informe de Carlos, en cursiva: se ve a sí mismo como un hombre desnudo en un cuarto de hospital entre dos seres humanos genéricos que reconoce como él, Strassman y la enfermera. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«There was something wrong with him. He was there to get better. The hospital was a healing center. What was wrong with him was death. The naked person was dead. What killed the person was the stress from the DMT. None of my guardians or protectors made an appearance. They were out of the loop.» — la continuación del informe de Carlos, en cursiva: lo que le pasaba al hombre era la muerte, y sus guardianes y protectores quedaron fuera

«He was healed, more than healed. He was reborn. He got cured from death, healed from death. And then he became the creator of a whole universe.» — el punto de giro del informe de Carlos, en cursiva: curado de la muerte y vuelto creador de un universo entero

«I gradually became more and more solid and moved toward my everyday presence. I watched the universe's creation down from fundamental mental energy to a vibratory rate to material things. I realized I was recreating the hospital and the room. As the world jelled more and more, I wanted to see it and asked to have the eyeshades taken off. I became fascinated with my fingers, like a newborn.» — la continuación, en cursiva: Carlos dice haber visto la creación del universo desde la energía mental hasta la materia, y haberse recreado el cuarto del hospital

«I've taught classes on how the universe is a construct of your own mind. And here it was happening. My attitude was different when I knew you were my creations. I felt as close to you as to my own son and daughter.» — lo que Carlos dice de su propia enseñanza y de lo que le pasó al verla cumplirse, en cursiva

«I would have to say my experience was a classical death/rebirth experience. I had done it before, but never in the same way as with DMT. It was spectacular in imagery, texture, and atmosphere and had incredible lighting and effects. Boil it down and it's very, very classic.» — la clasificación que el propio Carlos le da a su experiencia, en cursiva

«The 0.2 was harrowing—this was way beyond. I knew the boundary beyond life existed. I never thought I'd be there, though, at such an early age. It's one of those things that old men talk about, like "once I got there." It's just the wrong place and time. I expect these sorts of things in the mountains with my friends in a more ceremonial setting.» — la reserva con que Carlos cierra, en cursiva: dice que ese no era el sitio ni el momento, y que esas cosas las espera en la montaña y en un entorno ceremonial

«Carlos did not have the type of near-death experience about which we hear so often in today's popular clinical literature. Willow's case exemplifies this more contemporary version of the NDE. However, Carlos's high-dose DMT session did partake of many features that practitioners of shamanism report as part of the initiation into the more advanced realms of their practice; that is, the death-rebirth experience.» — la distinción que Strassman traza entre el caso de Carlos y la versión contemporánea de la experiencia cercana a la muerte: lo de Carlos se parece a la iniciación chamánica de muerte y renacimiento. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 242 a la 243

«Carlos experienced himself as dead rather than dying. He saw his lifeless body lying on the bed, although not quite the way he left it, as he was wearing all his clothes before the spirit molecule entered his brain. As he was reborn, so was his universe reconstituted. Here again we see a mystical culmination of the near-death experience. He experienced creation in a way similar to Sara's first high-dose experience in the last chapter, and to Elena's in the next: vast energy slowing to vibrations, finally resulting in matter. Carlos, feeling like a newborn, marveled at his fingers the way an infant is fascinated with his newly discovered body.» — el análisis con que Strassman lee el caso de Carlos, incluida la reconstitución del universo al renacer

«There is a progression from the personal to the transpersonal series of experiences DMT elicits. It's possible to work through one's own psychological and psychosomatic problems with the spirit molecule's light and power. The near-death encounter spells what seems to be the end of those concerns by simulating or foretelling what it's like once our individual bodies fall away.» — la progresión que Strassman describe de lo personal a lo transpersonal en los efectos del DMT

«ne of the most compelling factors fueling my decision to make a career of psychedelic research was the similarity between high-dose psychedelic experiences and mystical experiences.» — la razón que Strassman declara para dedicarse a la investigación psicodélica: el parecido entre la experiencia psicodélica de dosis alta y la mística. La capitular se pierde en la capa de texto y el renglón arranca en *KJne* donde el impreso pone *One*

«For example, books such as The Varieties of Psychedelic Experience make the obvious connection to William James's early-twentieth-century book The Varieties of Religious Experience. Recently, Entheogens and the Future of Religion continues a long and controversial tradition of recommending that any deep spiritual practice include psychedelic sacraments.» — los tres libros que Strassman nombra en esa discusión, entre ellos el de William James, y la tradición de recomendar sacramentos psicodélicos en toda práctica espiritual honda

«In my early visits to the Zen Buddhist community at which I studied, I raised this question with many of the young American monks. Nearly everyone I asked at this training center answered that psychedelic drugs, especially» — lo que Strassman consigna de sus primeras visitas a la comunidad budista zen donde estudió: casi todos los monjes estadounidenses a quienes preguntó dijeron lo mismo. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la respuesta se completa en la 245

«LSD, first opened the doors to a new reality for them. It was the pursuit of stabilizing, strengthening, and broadening their initial psychedelic flash that led them to the discipline of a communal, meditation-based ascetic life.» — la respuesta de esos monjes, ya en la plana siguiente: el LSD les abrió la puerta a una realidad nueva, y buscar estabilizarla los llevó a la vida ascética de comunidad y meditación

«Naturally, I wondered if psychedelic drugs could speed up and simplify attainment of sublime states of mind free of the "side effects" of institutional practice, such as ritualistic behavior and withdrawal from the everyday world.» — la pregunta que Strassman se plantea a partir de eso: si los psicodélicos podrían acortar el camino sin los efectos secundarios de la práctica institucional

«The answer that did emerge from our New Mexico research was complicated. Yes, psychedelics could induce states similar to mystical experiences; but no, they didn't have the same impact.» — la respuesta que Strassman da a esa pregunta con los resultados de su estudio: sí inducen estados semejantes, y no tienen el mismo impacto

«The three pillars of self, time, and space all undergo profound transfiguration in a mystical experience.» — los tres pilares que Strassman dice transfigurados en la experiencia mística

«There no longer is any separation between the self and what is not the self. Personal identity and all of existence become one and the same. In fact, there is no "personal" identity because we understand at the most basic level the underlying unity and interdependence of all existence.» — la descripción de Strassman del primer pilar: no queda separación entre el sí mismo y lo que no lo es, y no hay identidad personal

«Past, present, and future merge together into a timeless moment, the now of eternity. Time stops, inasmuch as it no longer "passes." There is existence, but it is not dependent upon time. Now and then, before and after, all combine into this exact point. On the relative level, short periods of time encompass enormous amounts of experience.» — la descripción del segundo pilar: el tiempo deja de pasar sin que deje de haber existencia

«As our self and time lose their boundaries, space becomes vast. Like time, space is no longer here or there but everywhere, limitless, without edges. Here and there are the same. It is all here.» — la descripción del tercer pilar: el espacio sin bordes, donde aquí y allá son lo mismo

«In this infinitely vast time and space with no limited self, we hold up to examination all contradictions and paradoxes and see they no longer conflict. We can hold, absorb, and accept everything our mind conjures up:» — lo que Strassman dice de las paradojas en ese estado: se sostienen todas las contradicciones sin que entren en conflicto. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y sigue en la 246

«good and evil, suffering and happiness, small and large. We now are certain that consciousness continues after the body dies, and that it existed long before this particular physical form. We see the entire universe in a blade of grass and know what our face was like before our parents met.» — la continuación en la plana siguiente, con las dos fórmulas del universo entero en una brizna de hierba y del rostro anterior al encuentro de los padres

«Extraordinarily powerful feelings surge through our consciousness. We are ecstatic, and the intensity of this joy is such that our body cannot contain it—it seems to need a temporarily disembodied state. While the bliss is pervasive, there's also an underlying peace and equanimity that's not affected by even this incredibly profound happiness.» — la descripción del afecto en la experiencia mística: un éxtasis que el cuerpo no contiene y, por debajo, una paz que ni esa dicha altera

«There is a searing sense of the sacred and the holy. We contact an unchanging, unborn, undying, and uncreated reality. It is a personal encounter with the "Big Bang," God, Cosmic Consciousness, the source of all being. Whatever we call it, we know we have met the fundamental bedrock and fountainhead of existence, one that emanates love, wisdom, and power on an unimaginable scale.» — la descripción de Strassman del encuentro con lo sagrado, con los nombres que le da: Big Bang, Dios, Consciencia Cósmica, la fuente de todo ser

«We call it "enlightenment" because we encounter the white light of creation's majesty. We may meet guides, angels, or other disembodied spirits, but we pass them all as we merge with the light. Our eyes now, finally, are truly open, and we see things clearly in a "new light."» — la etimología experiencial que Strassman propone para la palabra iluminación, y el paso de largo ante guías, ángeles y espíritus al fundirse con la luz

«Cleo was forty years old when she started our study. She was legally blind due to a genetic eye disorder. Nevertheless, she had persevered, having earned an academic degree and massage therapy certification. She now was enrolled in a master's program in counseling. Red-haired, petite, and with a fiery spirit, Cleo was born into a Jewish family but later began practicing nature-oriented rituals within the Wiccan faith.» — la presentación de la voluntaria a quien el libro llama Cleo, legalmente ciega, nacida en una familia judía y luego practicante de rituales de orientación natural dentro de la fe wicca. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 246 a la 247

«Once, while on LSD, Cleo saw a "past-life experience" in which she was burned at the stake for being a witch.» — lo que Strassman consigna de una visión de vida pasada de Cleo bajo LSD

«Her father had molested her sexually when she was a child, memories of which emerged for the first time during a recent psilocybin mushroom trip.» — lo que Strassman consigna del abuso sexual sufrido por Cleo en la infancia y de cuándo emergió el recuerdo

«Curiously, Cleo had suffered from a phobia to snow as a child, hyperventilating and vomiting whenever she was out in it. She no longer was troubled by this irrational fear, having worked it through on psilocybin several years before.» — la fobia a la nieve de Cleo y el modo en que, según ella, la resolvió

«I am curious. I think I am ready for the next step. I believe in this type of research—from an academic stance—and believe there may be a valid clinical/therapeutic use for hallucinogens.» — los motivos declarados de Cleo para entrar al estudio, en su propia voz

«There was the lightest feeling of a beckoning for me to follow something. It was like a light on the horizon, like two roads merging with the horizon. There were some eyes looking at me, friendly. They wanted to see who was there, and seemed to say that I would follow them later.» — el informe de Cleo tras la dosis baja, en cursiva: unos ojos amistosos que querían ver quién estaba ahí

«Rick, I can see why you became a psychiatrist. "Why?" To give this to people.» — el intercambio que Cleo tiene con Strassman a los diecinueve minutos de la dosis alta, en cursiva, y el asentimiento de él

«I had the expectation that I would be going "out," but I went in, into every cell in my body. It was amazing. It wasn't just my body . . . themselves . . . themselves ...it's all connected.» — el informe de Cleo, en cursiva: esperaba salir y entró, a cada célula del cuerpo

«I felt the DMT go in and it burned in my vein. It was hard to breathe into it. Then the patterns began. I said to myself, "Let me go through you." At that point it opened, and I was very much somewhere else. I believe it was at that point that I went out, into the universe—being, dancing with, a star system.» — la continuación del informe de Cleo, en cursiva: pedir paso a los patrones y hallarse bailando con un sistema estelar

«I asked myself, "Why am I doing this to myself?" And then there was, "This is what you've always been searching for.» — lo que Cleo se responde a sí misma en esa sesión, en cursiva

«There was a movement of color. The colors were words. I heard what the colors were saying to me. I was trying to look out, but they were saying, "Go in." / was looking for God outside. They said, "God is in every cell of your body. "And I was feeling it, totally open to it, and I kept opening to it more, and I just took it in.» — el núcleo del informe de Cleo, en cursiva: los colores hablaban y le decían que Dios está en cada célula del cuerpo, no afuera. El troceo reemite aquí la marca de la plana 249 al abrir chunk

«The colors kept telling me things, but they were telling me things so I not only heard what I was seeing, but also felt it in my cells. I say "felt," but it was like no other "felt," more like a knowing that was happening in my cells. That God is in everything and that we are all connected, and that God dances in every cell of life, and that every cell of life dances in God.» — la continuación del informe de Cleo, en cursiva: no solo oía lo que veía, lo sentía en las células como un saber, y lo que le decían era que Dios danza en cada célula de la vida. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 248 a la 249

«am changed. I will never be the same. To simply say this almost seems to lessen the experience. I don't think that anyone hearing or reading this can truly grasp what I felt, can really understand it deeply and completely. The euphoria goes on into eternity. And I am part of that eternity.» — la carta que Cleo envió días después, en cursiva. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«Cleo was ready and well-prepared for her DMT sessions. Thus, when the spirit molecule called in Room 531, she leapt up to answer. In her session we see many of the hallmarks of a mystical experience: the suspension of normal boundaries of time and space, the ecstatic nature of the encounter, and how poorly words function in describing it. She experienced the certainty of her own divine nature and that all her questions were answered in these brief but intensely felt moments.» — la lectura con que Strassman cierra el caso de Cleo, con los rasgos de experiencia mística que le reconoce

«Elena had taken psychedelics about twenty times in her life. More recent were her almost one hundred MDMA experiences, which she believed contributed to her decision to slow down her professional life's trajectory. She sold her counseling business and house and began an intense process of inner work. She hoped her participation in the DMT study might "lead to a clearer understanding of my spiritual truths.» — la presentación de la voluntaria a quien el libro llama Elena y su motivo declarado, en su propia voz

«Her heart rate soared from 65 to 114 and her blood pressure from 96/66 to 124/70 just while watching me prepare the drug!» — lo que Strassman mide en Elena solo por ver preparar la jeringa, antes de cualquier inyección. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 249 a la 250

«Before you spoke the words, "Okay, we're done," there arose in me an energy so forceful that no words could describe it. It drove my heart. The swirl of color reminded me of the visual experience the day before, but» — el informe escrito de Elena sobre su dosis alta, en cursiva: una energía tan fuerte que no cabe en palabras. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y sigue en la 251

«multiplied a millionfold. I could only hold on, remembering not to fall off into the distracting light show. Then everything stopped! The darkness opened to light, and on the other side of space all was utterly still. Then the words "just because it is possible" emerged out of nothingness and filled me.» — la continuación del informe de Elena en la plana siguiente, en cursiva: la quietud del otro lado del espacio y la frase que emergió de la nada, solo porque es posible

«The great power sought to fill all possibilities. It was "amoral," but it was love, and it just was. There was no benevolent god, only this primordial power.» — el núcleo del informe de Elena, en cursiva: el poder primordial era amoral y era amor, y no había un dios benevolente

«All of my ideas and beliefs seemed absurdly ridiculous. I never wanted to forget this. I was aware I could open my eyes and relate to those around me. But first I had to wait for all this to solidify, to allow the fullness of the experience to congeal, so I could bring it back to the others.» — la continuación del informe de Elena, en cursiva: sus ideas y creencias le parecieron absurdas y esperó a que la experiencia cuajara para traerla de vuelta

«It came on fast and big, and an incredible pressure arose in my head, pushing me back. It blasted me into the realm in which pure living energy begins to take form. As it began to slow down, I saw the process of separated awareness. This slowing down creates form and consciousness. Before the slowing down, it's not there. It's not unconscious, but not conscious. It's real, of its own substance, not fragmented. It's amazing how slowly things move here on Earth!» — el informe de Elena en su dosis alta doble ciego, en cursiva: el reino donde la energía viva pura empieza a tomar forma, y el frenado que crea forma y consciencia

«Going out and slowing down into the periphery, to the fringes of it, into form. There is the endless outflow of creation, effortless, and then this vast process takes it back in. My little piece of energy goes in and out, too, not more or less than any other piece. You can't die. You can't go away. You can neither add nor subtract. There is a continual outflow that is immortality. The "I am" notion goes around and around. I have the certainty of that.» — la continuación del informe de Elena, en cursiva: el flujo sin esfuerzo de la creación y su retorno, y la certeza de que no se puede morir ni añadir ni restar

«There were loads of paradoxes. I was not disoriented but there was no orientation. I didn't know where or who I was, but there was nothing to» — el cierre del informe de Elena, en cursiva: no estaba desorientada y a la vez no había orientación. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la frase termina en la 252

«know who or where it was. I didn't have to wonder what to do next. There are no empty spaces, they were all filled up.» — la continuación en la plana siguiente, en cursiva: no había qué preguntarse ni espacios vacíos

«While Elena described the essence of her encounter as "amoral," her joy and wonder suggest she found it anything but cold or lifeless. Rather, "it was love," and she was so happy there she considered not "coming back." She understood the cycle of birth and rebirth with the resulting personal certainty of immortality. Like Carlos in the last chapter, she also saw what modern cosmologists propose is the source of the universe. First there is nothing, then the Big Bang, out of which slowed-down and cooled particles become the elements of matter. From matter comes our own separate bodies and minds.» — la lectura con que Strassman cierra el caso de Elena y el paralelo que traza con lo que proponen los cosmólogos modernos

«Thirty-eight years old at the time we began working together, Sean received more DMT than any other volunteer. He participated in every double-blind placebo-controlled experiment as well as the pilot studies in which we determined the best doses of DMT to use in combination with pindolol and cyproheptadine. He also came in for the DMT EEG study and several psilocybin sessions in our preliminary work with that compound.» — la presentación del voluntario a quien el libro llama Sean, que recibió más DMT que ningún otro

«To experience another hallucinogen. I don't know what» — el motivo declarado de Sean para entrar al estudio, en su propia voz. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la frase termina en la 253

«to expect at all—but I'm not afraid of new experiences or myself or what I may do.» — el final de esa declaración de Sean, ya en la plana siguiente: no le teme a las experiencias nuevas ni a sí mismo

«Sean's non-blind low dose of DMT went well, but the high dose the next day was an aberration. The IV line had worked itself loose, and I inadvertently injected the drug under his skin rather than into his vein. We suspected this but were not certain until he was well into the full double-blind dose-response study. He got much higher on several of these doses than on what we thought was his first "large" dose. The effects of this initial non-blind 0.4 mg/kg dose were quite slow to develop and not much more than those from his low dose the day before. The injection did feel odd as I gave it, but it did not fully dawn on me that it missed his vein. I didn't think to repeat it.» — el error de técnica que Strassman consigna sin atenuarlo: inyectó la dosis alta bajo la piel y no en la vena, y no lo advirtió a tiempo

«I wonder if you could focus on that space within the grains of the wood, rather than the grain itself. You might go further once you're more familiar with what happens on DMT. The visions and display are not all that's there.» — la indicación con que Strassman lleva a Sean más allá de lo visual

«believe the last trip was a near-death experience. Everything is more alive now. I'm not bored, even when I should be! It was the awe and fear of God. I thought about barely anything else for the first day or two afterward. The desire to talk about it to anyone and everyone faded after three or four days.» — lo que Sean reporta de la sesión anterior, en cursiva: la llama experiencia cercana a la muerte y habla del temor y el asombro de Dios. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«It's curious that Sean had such a deep experience without any of us knowing about it at the time. It reminded me to remain alert to how different people were in their comfort or ability to discuss the contents of their sessions, especially right after they occurred.» — lo que Strassman aprende de ese caso sobre las diferencias entre voluntarios para hablar de lo vivido

«I couldn't watch it all, it was so busy. Something asked me, "What do you want? How much do you want?» — lo primero que Sean reporta de oír a otro, en cursiva, que Strassman señala como su primera vez

«answered that I wanted to see fewer things, but more of it. That reduced the intensity of the busy, crackling, colorful Chinese-like panels. It became more manageable and focused. I'm feeling freer about going out there. I'm not lost. I'm asking questions and getting answers.» — la continuación del informe de Sean, en cursiva: pedir ver menos cosas y más de ello, y el sentirse más libre ahí fuera. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«Dreams are a basic tool for any personal growth and understanding, and DMT may generate highly symbolic dreamlike images. Marsha's high-dose sessions are a beautiful example of how the spirit molecule can show us what we need to know using this particular facet of its power.» — lo que Strassman sostiene del sueño como herramienta y del DMT como generador de imágenes oníricas muy simbólicas

«A high dose of DMT shares many features with physical and psychological trauma. We'll see how it is possible to turn these aspects to good use in Cassandra's story.» — la tesis con que Strassman anuncia el caso de Cassandra: la dosis alta comparte rasgos con el trauma físico y psicológico

«I was ready for these types of sessions. I believed it was possible for the volunteers to reach some valuable insights into personal conflicts, difficulties, and psychosomatic symptoms by using psychedelics. In addition, many years of undergoing, practicing, and teaching psychoanalytic psychotherapy prepared me for dealing with the painful emotions I thought would emerge during some DMT sessions.» — lo que Strassman declara de su propia preparación psicoanalítica para las sesiones de conflicto personal

«Then I noticed a middle-aged female, with a pointed nose and light greenish skin, sitting off to my right, watching this changing city with me. She had her right hand on a dial that seemed to control the panorama we were watching. She turned slightly toward me and asked, "What else would you like?" I answered telepathically, "Well, what else have you got? I have no idea what you can do.» — el informe escrito de Sean sobre su primera dosis del día, en cursiva: una figura femenina de piel verdosa que controla el panorama con un dial y le pregunta qué más quiere. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 254 a la 255

«Then she stood up, walked up to my right forehead, touched it and warmed it up, and then used a sharp object to open up a panel in my right temple, releasing a tremendous amount of pressure. This made me feel much better than I'd felt before, even though I realized I'd felt fine in the first place.» — la continuación del informe de Sean, en cursiva: la figura le abre un panel en la sien derecha y le libera una presión enorme

«For the first time ever, I went into a blank state before the DMT injection. I had no thought, no hopes, no fears, no expectations.» — lo que Sean anota de su tercera dosis, en cursiva: entró en blanco, sin pensamiento, esperanza, miedo ni expectativa

«The trip started with an electric tingling in my body, and quickly the visual hallucinations arrived. Then I noticed five or six figures walking rapidly alongside me. They felt like helpers, fellow travelers. A humanoid male figure turned toward me, threw his right arm up toward the patchwork of bright colors, and asked, "How about this?" The kaleidoscopic patterns immediately became brighter and moved more rapidly. A second and then a third asked and did the same thing. At that point, I decided to go further, deeper.» — la continuación de la nota de Sean, en cursiva: cinco o seis figuras que caminan a su lado como compañeros de viaje y le ofrecen intensificar los patrones

«I immediately saw a bright yellow-white light directly in front of me. I chose to open to it. I was consumed by it and became part of it. There were no distinctions—no figures or lines, shadows or outlines. There was no body or anything inside or outside. I was devoid of self, of thought, of time, of space, of a sense of separateness or ego, or of anything but the white light. There are no symbols in my language that can begin to describe that sense of pure being, oneness, and ecstasy.» — el núcleo de la experiencia de iluminación de Sean, en cursiva: entra en la luz amarilla y blanca y queda sin cuerpo, sin pensamiento, sin tiempo, sin espacio y sin yo, y declara que su lengua no tiene símbolos para decir ese ser puro. El tramo se corta antes de la marca reemitida de la plana 255, que parte la palabra *stillness* de la frase siguiente

«have no idea how long I was in this confluence of pure energy, or whatever/however I might describe it. Finally I felt myself tumbling gently and sliding backward away from this Light, sliding down a ramp. I could see myself doing this, a naked, thin, luminescent childlike being that glowed with a warm, yellow light. My head was enlarged, and my body was that of a four-year-old child. Waves of the Light touched me as my body receded from it. I was almost dizzy with happiness as the slide down the ramp finally ended.» — la salida de esa experiencia en la nota de Sean, en cursiva: se ve a sí mismo como un ser luminiscente de cuerpo de niño deslizándose por una rampa lejos de la Luz. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«It's interesting. I chose to enter a bright light.» — lo que Sean dice tras llenar la escala, en cursiva, sobre haber elegido entrar en la luz

«There were wire people everywhere riding bicycles, like programmed people, like video-game people having fun. I watched them. They were blue-green, running all around me. Like being in a parking tower. I forget what happened at the end. They did it for a long time! I kept wondering if anything else would happen. Slowly the trip ended, but I can't remember how.» — la nota de Sean sobre su cuarta dosis, en cursiva: gente de alambre en bicicleta como personajes de videojuego

«Clearly there are striking similarities between naturally occurring spiritual experiences and those induced in certain individuals by DMT. Cleo's, Elena's, and Sean's high-dose sessions were ecstatic, insightful, revolutionary, and profound. All three volunteers were steady and solid people with knowledge of religious concepts. The words they used to describe their sessions are remarkably like those we read from the great mystics of the ages.» — la conclusión de Strassman sobre los tres casos de estados místicos, con la comparación que hace de su lenguaje con el de los grandes místicos

«DMT reproduces many of the features of an enlightenment experience, including timelessness; ineffability; coexistence of opposites; contact and merging with a supremely powerful, wise, and loving presence, sometimes experienced as a white light; the certainty that consciousness continues after death of the body; and a first-hand knowledge of the basic "facts" of creation and consciousness.» — la lista de rasgos de la iluminación que Strassman da por reproducidos por el DMT

«While gratified and in awe of these sessions, larger questions began to loom as I heard more of them. Because DMT can elicit mystical experiences, are the experiences necessarily beneficial? Or, put another way, do they have a spiritual effect in those who've undergone them? If they did, I'd feel justified in labeling these encounters truly spiritual.» — las preguntas que Strassman se plantea sobre esas sesiones: si el hecho de provocar experiencias místicas las vuelve benéficas y con efecto espiritual

«In preparation for writing these chapters on the DMT sessions, I reviewed every page of my bedside notes. It took a month to look over all of them, cutting and pasting people's reports into various groupings of experience. One of these categories was "adverse effects," in which I placed difficult or troublesome responses to DMT. Parts of twenty-five people's sessions landed in this "bin." These adverse effects ranged from being subtle, minor, and extremely brief to those that were terrifying, dangerous, and lingering.» — el método con que Strassman clasificó los efectos adversos y la cifra que le salió: partes de las sesiones de veinticinco personas

«Twenty-five out of sixty volunteers seemed like a lot. At the time, I never sensed that nearly half of our volunteers were having problems. Was I minimizing difficulties in my desire to forge ahead in the research under any and all conditions?» — la pregunta que Strassman se hace a sí mismo ante esa cifra: si minimizaba las dificultades por seguir adelante con la investigación

«This number was even more surprising because I hoped to reduce the incidence of frightening reactions to DMT by studying only normal volunteers with previous psychedelic drug experience. This seemed a safer path than enrolling those who had no idea what to expect, or who were already psychologically troubled.» — la razón por la que esa cifra sorprende a Strassman: había reclutado solo usuarios experimentados justamente para reducirla

«Looking more closely at these sessions, it became clear that the vast majority of these problems were, if not especially minor, very brief. This reassured me to some extent. One of the primary reasons I chose DMT as the drug with which to resume clinical psychedelic research was that its effects were so short. I anticipated that no matter how bad things became, at least they wouldn't last too long.» — lo que Strassman consigna al mirar más de cerca esas sesiones, y la razón por la que eligió el DMT: que los efectos no duran mucho. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 258 a la 259

«The research setting was ripe for the development of negative responses to the drug, and this may have contributed to the high frequency we saw. The clinical environment was quite unpleasant, even though it reassured some research subjects about our ability to respond to medical emergencies.» — lo que Strassman reconoce del entorno de investigación como caldo de cultivo de las reacciones negativas

«In addition to the actual physical environment of the Research Center, the research attitude also created a tension that does not normally exist in typical psychedelic settings. The blood drawing, questionnaire administration, and various other experimental manipulations impacted our relationship with the volunteers. We wanted something from them other than just their own psychedelic experience, and that expectation was impossible to ignore.» — lo que Strassman llama la actitud de investigación y la tensión que introducía: el equipo quería algo del voluntario además de su experiencia

«We realized that supportive, caring, and understanding attitudes and responses were the best insurance against serious adverse effects, and the best initial treatment should they emerge.» — lo que Strassman da por mejor seguro contra los efectos adversos graves: actitudes de apoyo, cuidado y comprensión

«The issue of adverse effects becomes extraordinarily important when we assess the risk-to-benefit ratio in working with psychedelics. Do benefits outweigh risks? Are the negative consequences of psychedelics' use worth accepting in light of their positive effects?» — las preguntas de riesgo y beneficio que Strassman plantea sobre el trabajo con psicodélicos

«It is frightening because I cannot terminate it [by opening my eyes]. .. . How unpleasant! Oh, how bad. It would be better to fall down in a faint. Will it endure still for one hour? Give me something so that I shall die quickly, it would be better to die. How were you capable to do such?» — el testimonio de una médica del estudio de Szara de los años cincuenta, en cursiva: pide algo para morir pronto y le reprocha al investigador haber sido capaz de hacer eso

«These subjects reported 1 to 2 days later that they were convinced that someone wanted to kill or poison them during the experiment. DMT was the poison, and the person conducting the experiment was the murderer. One subject became very violent during the experiment and had to be restrained forcibly.» — el resumen de Szara de las cinco reacciones paranoides o delirantes entre sus treinta voluntarios, en su propia letra

«Szara's descriptions are unusually forthcoming for a psychiatric researcher. It usually is rather difficult to get a clear sense of what exactly happens during psychedelic drug sessions in the research environment. This is especially common when adverse reactions occur in studies when the research team has a vested interest in demonstrating the drug's beneficial effects.» — el juicio de Strassman sobre la franqueza de Szara, y la razón por la que en general no se sabe qué pasa en las sesiones de investigación

«What made the effects adverse was not the experience itself, but the volunteers' reaction to it. The subjects' responses to the anxiety-provoking elements subsequently determined whether they'd continue the fearful descent or pull out of it into a more positive resolution.» — la distinción que Strassman traza: lo adverso no era la experiencia sino la reacción del voluntario a ella

«She was interested in the DMT research because of her fascination with shamanism. She had taken LSD and psilocybin mushrooms about twenty times in her life, but not once since beginning to raise her family nearly two decades previously.» — la presentación de la voluntaria a quien el libro llama Ida y su interés declarado en el chamanismo

«didn't like it. I didn't like the feeling. My head got real hot. I was out of my body. It was hard to breathe.» — lo que Ida dice tras la dosis baja, en cursiva. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«was waiting for it to get over with immediately after I started feeling it. I felt the effects while the flush was going in. I couldn't have moved if you'd asked me to. I looked down at my feet and didn't recognize them as my own. It was scary, and I didn't feel safe.» — la continuación de lo que Ida reporta, en cursiva: no reconocía sus propios pies y no se sintió a salvo

«There was no way I could give Ida eight times this dose tomorrow. "Some people just don't like the drug, you know.» — la decisión que Strassman toma de inmediato al oír eso, y cómo se la dice a Ida. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la conversación sigue en la 262

«Let's call it a day, and chalk it up to experience. No need to press our luck.» — el cierre de esa sesión, ya en la plana siguiente

«He had taken MDMA quite often and admitted to having problems limiting his use. He enjoyed the "fun, celebration, love, bonding, depth, and spirituality" it provided.» — la presentación del voluntario a quien el libro llama Ken, con su uso de MDMA y lo que declaraba obtener de ella

«There was something just a little unsettling about Ken. He seemed ever so slightly "too cool" and "New Age," and Laura and I both wondered about his shadow side. Where were his edges, his anger, and his boundaries? What really made him tick? He seemed to be flitting through life rather than really taking it in. In retrospect, naturally, this seems to have been the basis for his subsequent difficulties, but there was little way we could have truly predicted his negative response to DMT.» — lo que Strassman y la enfermera percibían en Ken antes de la sesión, con la reserva de que era imposible predecir su reacción

«MDMA is what I like to call a "love and light" drug, one that accentuates the positive and minimizes the negative. If only life were so simple.» — la caracterización que Strassman hace del MDMA y de quienes lo prefieren a los psicodélicos típicos

«There were two crocodiles. On my chest. Crushing me, raping me anally. I didn't know if I would survive. At first I thought I was dreaming, having a nightmare. Then I realized it was really happening.» — el informe de Ken tras su dosis alta, en cursiva, que Strassman consigna sin suavizarlo

«It was awful. It's the most scared I've ever been in my life. I wanted to ask to hold your hands, but I was pinned so firmly I couldn't move, and I couldn't speak. Jesus!» — la continuación del informe de Ken, en cursiva: quiso pedir que le tomaran las manos y no pudo moverse ni hablar

«His experience was over, so there was little advice we could give about letting go, or trying to get past his reptilian assailants. He had been stuck, and the most we could do was try and help him accept, and maybe even learn something from, his session.» — lo que Strassman consigna de su propia impotencia ante una sesión ya terminada

«don't think this is the drug for me. I prefer the mellowness of MDMA. This is too hard and intense.» — la salida de Ken del estudio, en su propia voz. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«We stayed in touch with Ken, although he soon left Albuquerque and moved to California. His reaction had been so traumatic that I was concerned he might have some permanent psychological damage. We wondered if perhaps he had been sexually molested as a child. He did not recall any such episodes, so this remains speculation.» — lo que Strassman consigna del seguimiento de Ken y de la conjetura que él y la enfermera se hicieron, declarada como especulación

«In a way, Ken's session scared him straight. His reptile rape had become a bad memory, one that he rarely thought about, but whose effects continued to ripple outward. He stopped taking any psychoactives, including MDMA, and cut back significantly on his marijuana use. He found work at an herb store and was living with his girlfriend. It could have been a lot worse for him.» — el desenlace del caso de Ken: dejó los psicoactivos y redujo el consumo de marihuana

«As a child Andrea began experiencing what we call "sleep paralysis" and "hypnagogic hallucinations." Upon drifting asleep, she would be unable to move and would see brief, frightening visual scenes. Her mother, a strict Catholic, told her it was Satan coming to torture her and that she should pray to Jesus for protection. These frightening experiences continued even now, although rarely.» — la historia de parálisis del sueño y alucinaciones hipnagógicas de la voluntaria a quien el libro llama Andrea, y lo que su madre católica le decía de ellas. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 264 a la 265

«For some reason I placed the "emergency kit"—Valium for panic and nitroglycerin pills for severe high blood pressure—on the blood pressure machine. I couldn't remember when I had ever done that before a high-dose session.» — el presentimiento que Strassman consigna sin explicarlo: puso el botiquín de urgencia a la vista, cosa que no recordaba haber hecho antes

«never really left my body. I fought it all the way. I thought I was going to die. I didn't want to die. I was afraid. I realized that I had a body for a reason and that I have work to do in this body.» — lo que Andrea reporta tras su dosis alta, en cursiva: peleó todo el tiempo, creyó que moría y concluyó que tiene un cuerpo por una razón. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«When I was coming down, I wasn't sure if I ever wanted to do this again, but now I think I do. I don't think it will be as scary next time. It was death. I saw myself in that void, the void. It was just black, just too much. I've never had anything like that happen before. On LSD and mushrooms you can build up to things and you are still in your body and you can move in and out of it. With this you have no choice. I was just totally unprepared and startled and scared.» — la continuación del informe de Andrea, en cursiva: el contraste con el LSD y los hongos, donde se puede entrar y salir del cuerpo, frente al DMT que no da opción

«of the ward nurses asked if everything was all right. They were alarmed by the screams coming out of Room 531.» — lo que Strassman consigna de la alarma del personal de enfermería por los gritos que salían del cuarto. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana: la oración empieza en la 266

«Things I want to do with my life before I die are more clearly defined now. I'm not ready to go yet. We had originally moved to New Mexico so I could go to college, particularly in bodywork. I got discouraged and never followed through. My life is finite, though, and if I am to go to school, this is the time to do it.» — lo que Andrea reporta por teléfono al día siguiente, en su propia voz: la experiencia le definió lo que quiere hacer antes de morir

«Are you afraid of being unconscious? If so, it's all right to black out. You can just pass out. Go for it. You can lose your mind, you will get it back, it'll be all right. Four doses of DMT will wear you down today. Hopefully, you'll just give up without too much pain and fear.» — la instrucción con que Strassman prepara a Andrea para el estudio de tolerancia, dirigiéndola hacia su propio miedo

«ful for the experience. I really wanted to blow things out.» — lo que Andrea reporta por teléfono esa semana, en su propia voz. El verbatim arranca a media palabra tras el cruce de plana, donde el troceo parte *grateful*, y se corta antes de la llamada de nota pegada a la última palabra

«It's changed my perspective. It's helped me refocus on my interest in healing work. There is so much I want to do.» — la continuación de ese reporte de Andrea, en su propia voz: la experiencia le reenfocó el interés en el trabajo de sanación

«I'm more relaxed now in general after that 0.4 dose. It seems to have cleared out some energy blocks. The momentum from two years of pushing really hard at my job is hard to get rid of. When I was coming down from the big dose, I saw how the energy was blocked by fears and holding on to things. Nothing specific, but more alertness and awareness of my state. I'm not in such a hurry to get things done now. I am more relaxed in general. I am less goal-oriented. If things don't get done now, they will sooner or later.» — lo que el voluntario a quien el libro llama Frederick reporta del efecto del DMT repartido en el tiempo, en su propia voz

«I've been feeling a peacefulness from having been in the study. It's a whole different realm than other high-dose psychedelics. I can access deep stuff in the psyche. It's right there, it's like a movie screen. It's in your face. With LSD it's not as much a movie as with DMT. For two or three weeks after the tolerance study, I was much more there for the people I work with. I was super-there.» — lo que Gabe reporta del efecto posterior, en su propia voz, con el contraste que traza entre el DMT y el LSD

«Philip's 0.6 mg/kg DMT overdose occurred in the initial stages of the study, when we were testing to find the right dosages for "high" and "low" DMT sessions. He went on to develop over the next several months mild panic symptoms whenever he found himself in unfamiliar or uncertain circumstances. It was as if he had become overly sensitive to any inkling of losing control. Nevertheless, he worked these through himself and successfully negotiated his way through the dose-response project.» — lo que Strassman consigna de las secuelas de la sobredosis de Philip: síntomas leves de pánico ante lo incierto durante meses, que él mismo trabajó

«I now have a much more tangible sense of cosmic and divine consciousness with an altered sense of selfhood in relationship. A more real sense of connectedness to all around me. I am more integrated. My own divinity is less of an abstraction. Thinking and feeling overlap more now.» — lo que Philip reporta en la entrevista de seguimiento, en su propia voz: su propia divinidad le resulta menos abstracta

«Don was a thirty-six-year-old waiter and writer. His transpersonal high-dose DMT sessions destabilized his world view so much that he stopped writing for the first time in years. As opposed to Elena, when Don met face-to-face the vast and impenetrable nature of the source of all existence, he despaired. Elena was steeped in Eastern mysticism, while Don was raised in, and continued believing in, the Catholic faith.» — la presentación del voluntario a quien el libro llama Don, cuyas sesiones transpersonales lo dejaron sin escribir por primera vez en años, y el contraste que Strassman traza con Elena

«Elena saw the love behind the "impersonal" void. Don, on the other hand, felt shocked, stunned, and betrayed by the absence of a personal God or Savior behind it all. DMT had knocked away his spiritual and philosophical underpinnings, and he found himself at a loss for something to replace them.» — la otra mitad del contraste: Don, católico, se sintió estafado por la ausencia de un Dios personal detrás de todo y quedó sin sustento filosófico

«I'm doing better than I was before the study. I have more enthusiasm for life, as it was a death experience for me. I've gotten back into writing and found a patron to support me part-time. There's a little bit of my DMT sessions in my writings, but not too much.» — lo que Don reporta después, en su propia voz: volvió a escribir y está mejor que antes del estudio

«I've adopted a few new words into my mental vocabulary to describe the psychedelic experience. I see people more as organisms. I think the DMT experiences validated certain spiritual ideas, particularly a belief in the value of the subjective, beyond or in addition to the validity and value of the scientific.» — lo que el voluntario a quien el libro llama Ray reporta años después, en su propia voz: el DMT le validó ciertas ideas espirituales y el valor de lo subjetivo. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 283 a la 284

«He also sent us a photograph of his young son, whose middle name was Strassman.» — el dato con que Strassman cierra el caso de Ray

«I don't see the world in quite the same way since DMT," he said. "I'm more open-minded and laid-back. The experience reconfirmed my path and what I'm involved in. As far as my beliefs and spiritual perspectives, everything was reinforced.» — lo que Lucas reporta pese a su colapso circulatorio, en su propia voz

«Most of my experiences fade with time. Not so with DMT. The images and ordeals from my sessions have grown more clear and refined. I recall being able to face the eternal fire of creation and not be burned, to bear the weight of the entire universe and not be crushed. This brings some perspective to my mundane life and I am able to relax and embrace it more easily. Outside me, not much is different. Inside, I rest in the comfort of knowing my soul is eternal and my consciousness endless.» — la carta que Elena envió un año después del estudio, en su propia voz: haber podido enfrentar el fuego eterno de la creación sin quemarse

«Let's summarize this small number of follow-up conversations and interviews. Volunteers reported a stronger sense of self, less fear of death, and greater appreciation of life.» — el resumen que Strassman hace del seguimiento: más sentido de sí, menos miedo a la muerte y mayor aprecio por la vida

«We also have heard about powerfully felt validation and confirmation of previously held beliefs. In these cases, views and perspectives became broader and deeper, but not essentially different.» — la acotación de Strassman sobre el alcance de esos cambios: las perspectivas se ensancharon y se ahondaron, pero no cambiaron de raíz

«The few examples of visible change in volunteers' "outside" lives all were underway in some form or another before they met the spirit molecule.» — el hallazgo que Strassman consigna contra su propia expectativa: los cambios visibles ya venían en marcha antes del estudio

«No one left an established career for a more heartfelt vocation. Peter, one of our recruits, had images while on DMT of a community in Arizona to which he had been considering relocating. He made the move after completing the dose-response study. He was wealthily retired, however, so the move was easy and natural for him.» — el caso que Strassman pone y a la vez acota: el único que se mudó era un retirado con holgura económica

«Andrea, whose screams of "No! No! No!" rang through the Research Center, seemed like one of the most likely people to make major shifts in her life. Her high-dose DMT sessions showed her the preciousness and limits of the body and helped her remember some youthful idealism regarding her career. However, by the time I left New Mexico two years later she had gone no further than obtaining some catalogs from local natural therapeutics schools.» — lo que Strassman consigna del caso de Andrea dos años después: de los cambios esperados, solo unos catálogos de escuela

«Even in Elena's case, I was not convinced that she really had benefited from her experiences in a practical way. We remained friends and I continued to be involved in her and Karl's life, and there did not seem to» — la reserva con que Strassman trata el caso de Elena pese a la amistad que los unía. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la frase termina en la 286

«be evidence of basic changes in her everyday pattern of interactions and reactions to her world. Hers was one of the earliest cases causing me some reluctance in accepting at face value the transformative power of even the most profound and incredibly spiritual experiences.» — la continuación en la plana siguiente: Strassman señala el caso de Elena como uno de los primeros que le hicieron dudar del poder transformador de la experiencia espiritual más honda

«It was especially disappointing that no one began psychotherapy or a spiritual discipline to work further on the insights they felt on DMT. The few people for whom therapy was an issue returned to therapy, or restarted antidepressants, because of relapses into depression at some point after their high-dose DMT sessions. That is, they sought help for possible adverse effects rather than capitalizing on psychological or spiritual breakthroughs from their sessions.» — el resultado que Strassman llama especialmente decepcionante: nadie emprendió terapia ni disciplina espiritual a partir de lo vivido

«Why wasn't there more obvious benefit to our volunteers?» — la pregunta con que Strassman aborda ese resultado

«Within sessions, we were not focusing on helping people with problems. These were not treatment studies. Volunteers were relatively well-adjusted. Neither did we intend to treat our research subjects. We planned to, and mostly did, sit by and support them rather than steer or guide them in any particular direction. When we did apply psychotherapeutic principles or techniques, it was out of clinical necessity or prudence. We scrupulously avoided working on a psychological level with the vast majority of our volunteers.» — la primera respuesta: el estudio no era de tratamiento y el equipo evitaba deliberadamente trabajar en el plano psicológico

«Another answer became clearer only as the study progressed. This was the deep and undeniable realization that DMT was not inherently therapeutic. Instead, we again had to face the crucial importance of set and setting. What the volunteers brought to their sessions, and the fuller context of their lives, was as important, if not more so, than the drug itself in determining how they dealt with their experiences. Without a suitable framework—spiritual, psychotherapeutic, or otherwise—in which to process their journeys with DMT, their sessions became just another series of intense psychedelic encounters.» — la segunda respuesta, que Strassman llama realización innegable: el DMT no es terapéutico por sí mismo y sin un marco para procesarlo las sesiones quedan en encuentros intensos

«As the years passed, I began feeling a peculiar anxiety about listening to volunteers' accounts of their first high-dose DMT sessions. It was as if I didn't want to hear them. These psychotherapeutic, near-death, and mystical sessions repeatedly reminded me of their ineffectiveness in effecting any real change. I wanted to say, "That's very interesting, but now what? To what purpose?» — lo que Strassman declara de su propio desgaste: llegó a no querer oír los relatos, porque le recordaban su ineficacia para producir cambio real

«By extension, these sessions' lack of lasting impact began eroding the basic foundations of my motivation for performing this type of research. Additionally, the reports of contact with invisible worlds and their inhabitants, while utterly amazing, left me grasping at conceptual straws as to their reality and meaning. My attitude to high-dose sessions started turning from hope for breakthroughs to relief at volunteers emerging unharmed and intact.» — la erosión que Strassman describe en su propia motivación, hasta cambiar la esperanza de avances por el alivio de que los voluntarios salieran ilesos

«The need to shift the focus of the psychedelic research in Albuquerque was clear. Risks were real, and long-term benefits vague. I began looking for a way to improve the benefit-to-risk ratio. This required a more concerted effort to develop a therapy study, one that would involve working with patients instead of normal volunteers. It also called for using a longer-acting drug that would allow time to perform psychological work during the acute intoxication.» — la conclusión práctica que Strassman saca: pasar a un estudio de terapia con pacientes y con una droga de efecto más largo

«At a certain point I felt I had less to lose, and more to gain, by discontinuing the psychedelic research.» — la fórmula con que Strassman anuncia el fin de su investigación

«wide range of difficulties began affecting our psychedelic drug studies. Their cumulative effect led to my leaving New Mexico and stopping the research. I will begin describing those events in this chapter.» — la frase con que Strassman abre el capítulo del desenlace. La capitular se pierde en la capa de texto

«Many of the stumbling blocks were ones I dimly saw but chose to minimize, hoping they might "take care of themselves": There should have been little surprise that a critical mass of collaborators at the University of New Mexico failed to materialize as promised. I suspected, but needed to see for myself, that there would be few sustained beneficial effects on our volunteers from isolated high-dose DMT sessions.» — los obstáculos que Strassman reconoce haber visto y minimizado: la masa crítica de colaboradores que no llegó y la sospecha de que las sesiones aisladas dejarían poco beneficio. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y la lista sigue en la 289

«the research team an especially troubled and troubling graduate student. I chose to disregard reports I had heard about contact with beings on DMT and was unprepared for dealing with their frequency in our work. I ought to have predicted what would be my Buddhist community's response to publicly linking psychedelics with Buddhist practice. Certain developments truly were completely unexpected, but in retrospect they appear related to the strain of performing the research, and its effects on those around me. My former wife's sudden development of cancer falls into this category.» — la continuación de esa lista en la plana siguiente: el estudiante problemático del equipo, los relatos de contacto con seres que él había decidido desoír, la reacción de su comunidad budista y el cáncer de su entonces esposa

«The repercussions of working with spirit molecules are so complex, so widespread and far-reaching, that no one who was not there from the very beginning could really understand what this research was like. However, the purpose of this book is to tell the entire story. Part of every story is its end. For those who are now working, or wish to work, with psychedelic drugs, it's important to convey these details, in a spirit of "informed consent." You'd better know what you're getting yourself into.» — la razón que Strassman da para contar también el final: dejarlo escrito para quien quiera trabajar con estas sustancias, en espíritu de consentimiento informado

«The biomedical model's explicit task is to dissect, dig deeper, and explain-by-describing the biological phenomenon under examination. Since this model holds sway in psychiatric research, I learned it thoroughly and presented the DMT studies in those terms.» — la definición que Strassman da del modelo biomédico y la razón por la que presentó así sus estudios

«Nevertheless, the most fascinating and rewarding data were obtained by listening to and watching our volunteers in Room 531.» — lo que Strassman declara sobre de dónde salieron los datos más interesantes, contra el modelo que él mismo eligió. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 289 a la 290

«These types of studies no longer placed the subjective effects of DMT at the forefront of our inquiry. The mechanisms were now more important than the experience. The explicit setting had shifted in a titanic manner.» — el giro que Strassman señala en los estudios de mecanismo de acción: el mecanismo pasó a importar más que la experiencia, y el *setting* declarado cambió por completo

«Combined with the gradually growing incidence of adverse effects, I saw the risk-to-benefit ratio turning less favorable. I needed to change the model to one in which people might benefit from participating in the studies.» — el balance de riesgo y beneficio que a Strassman se le vuelve desfavorable, y la necesidad de cambiar de modelo

«The two frameworks that might contain projects where people "got better" were the psychotherapeutic and the spiritual. A spirituality-based project was unlikely in a clinical research environment. So I began work on a psychotherapeutic project, a psilocybin-assisted psychotherapy study with the terminally ill.» — los dos marcos posibles que Strassman identifica y el que eligió: un estudio de psicoterapia con psilocibina en enfermos terminales

«A large part of why I began our work with a strictly biomedical model related to promises by other psychedelic research scientists, especially psychotherapeutically oriented ones, to join forces with me once the New Mexico research started. I was willing to take the set and setting risks inherent in the biomedical model in anticipation of colleagues later helping me shift to more treatment-based activities.» — la razón por la que Strassman aceptó el modelo biomédico: la promesa de otros investigadores de sumarse después

«At these meetings was a unanimous complaint that "the government won't let us study these drugs." If only somewhere someone could begin, that place would become the center of a psychedelic research renaissance.» — la queja unánime que Strassman recogía en esas reuniones y la expectativa que la acompañaba

«My wife thinks Albuquerque's too small. There aren't enough malls. My daughter doesn't want to leave her friends." "We have to wait until our son graduates from high school in seven years." "The University of New Mexico is second-rate. I'd never take my research there." "We've already moved enough. I can't commit to another move unless I know it's the last one I'll ever make." "I have to wait until I get my Ph.D. I don't know when that will be." "I don't want to work that hard. I like my part-time job at a mental health clinic. I get to take a lot of vacations and go on meditation retreats.» — las seis respuestas que Strassman recibió de sus colegas al pedirles que se sumaran, en la voz de ellos. Tramo largo releído entero en el crudo; salta el cruce de plana de la 292 a la 292

«In retrospect, I had succumbed to my own wishful thinking. It was easier to talk about the transformative value of the psychedelic experience than it was to put into practice some of its contents. My colleagues may have had inspiring experiences, but they were not committed to goals that required work and sacrifice.» — el juicio de Strassman sobre esas respuestas y sobre su propia ilusión

«Anyone who knows anything about administering psychedelics gets nervous just thinking about it.» — la explicación más benigna que Strassman ofrece de esa retirada

«Another issue concerned political motives. That is, who was going to lead the way in psychedelic research? Rather than combining our efforts, some colleagues saw the breakthrough occurring in Albuquerque as an opportunity to establish their own research foundations, putting themselves at the head of such organizations.» — la segunda explicación que Strassman ofrece: la disputa por encabezar el campo. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 292 a la 293

«Psilocybin, the active ingredient in magic mushrooms, is closely chemically related to DMT. It's orally active and much longer-acting. It also is significantly more popular than DMT, so learning about its effects has greater relevance to public health issues of drug abuse.» — las razones por las que Strassman elige la psilocibina para el giro: pariente química del DMT, activa por boca, mucho más larga y más difundida

«However, the setting of the Research Center was an obstacle to designing and thinking about psilocybin protocols. Many of our DMT volunteers would have leaped at the opportunity to participate in a psilocybin project if it were not for the prospect of spending an entire day in an altered state of consciousness in the hospital.» — el obstáculo que Strassman identifica para el proyecto con psilocibina: pasar un día entero en estado alterado dentro del hospital. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 293 a la 294

«Even so, there were many times when the sounds of jet planes, laughing and debating medical personnel, crashing carts, groaning and screaming patients, the overhead duct fan, and roaring compactors had a major negative impact on people's DMT sessions. The smells of burning food, medication, and powerful disinfectants were especially grim. And the rare but regular occurrence of hospital service personnel walking into Room 531 was a constant source of anxiety.» — el inventario de ruidos, olores e intrusiones del centro de investigación que Strassman consigna

«Several brave DMT volunteers agreed to come in for some psilocybin pilot work in which we would determine what were "low," "medium," and "high" doses of the drug. A few people dropped out after low-dose experiences, finding the hospital room and setting too restrictive. There were no significant problems with these research subjects other than that they felt cramped and bored. Then we had a serious incident.» — lo que Strassman consigna del trabajo piloto con psilocibina y de las primeras deserciones por lo restrictivo del entorno

«I was concerned by her tales of driving long distances, swimming in lakes, and undertaking other tasks requiring focus and attention while under the influence of psychedelics. Perhaps she was trying to fend off the effects of the drugs with her hyperactivity. She was physically rather robust, but it didn't seem as if her physique was the only thing contributing to the sense she exuded of being tightly wound, bunched up, and restricted. Nevertheless, careful questioning on my part failed to turn up any sign that she could not manage situations that came up while she was under the influence.» — lo que a Strassman le inquietaba de la voluntaria a quien el libro llama Francine, y la conjetura de que su hiperactividad le servía para no sentir el efecto

«doubt it will be that big. After all, I've taken a lot of LSD with little effect in the past.» — lo que Francine dice antes de su dosis alta, en cursiva. La capa de texto vuelve barra la I cursiva inicial

«The DMT said, "Come with me, come with me," and I wasn't sure I could really afford to go.» — la frase con que Francine resume su actitud ante el DMT, en cursiva en el impreso

«It was the most unbelievable thing. I've never been that high in my life. It made 0.4 DMT look small by comparison. It was the ultimate trip. I may never want to trip again. Why would I? What would be the point? Certainly no higher dose of psilocybin would be necessary.» — lo que Francine dice al cerrar su sesión de psilocibina, en cursiva: el viaje definitivo, y la duda de si querrá volver a hacerlo

«Francine called Laura, feeling as if she needed to "keep up" with the rest of the volunteers, not wanting to be considered a "lightweight tripper." With some misgivings, I agreed to let her return.» — lo que mueve a Francine a volver, según Strassman, y las reservas con que él aceptó

«Both of these irregularities—the bed placement and the student—set up high anxiety in me before we started. I nearly cancelled the study, but everyone seemed willing to carry on.» — el estado de ánimo con que Strassman entra a esa sesión y la decisión de no cancelarla. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 296 a la 297

«Within 15 minutes of swallowing the psilocybin capsule, Francine became restless, frightened, and anxious. She accused me of "messing" with her mind. When her panicked cell-phone call to her husband disconnected mid-conversation, she blamed my "mind waves" for the technical difficulties.» — lo que Strassman consigna del inicio de la crisis de Francine: lo acusó de manipularle la mente y atribuyó a sus ondas mentales una falla telefónica

«Francine could tolerate only Laura in the room, and she asked if the medical student and I would step out for a while. While we were at the nurses' station deciding how to proceed, Francine's hus» — la fuga de Francine del centro de investigación: solo toleraba a la enfermera en el cuarto y su marido irrumpió mientras el equipo deliberaba. El tramo se corta donde el troceo reemite la marca de la plana 297 al abrir chunk, a media palabra de *husband*

«band raced down the hall, entered Room 531, and gathered her up. They pushed their way past Laura and flew out the Research Center's double doors before I got my bearings. As her husband ran past me, he said, "I've seen her this way before.» — la continuación en la plana siguiente: la salida a la fuerza del centro y la frase que el marido le dijo a Strassman al pasar

«The security guards came too late. While peaking on psilocybin, Francine was loose in Albuquerque.» — la frase con que Strassman consigna el desenlace

«I referred to Francine's session as "an unfortunate, but not unexpected adverse reaction. Psychotic breaks do happen under the influence of these drugs, and they are nearly always brief. The volunteer recompensated quickly and is showing no ill effects of her session.» — los términos con que Strassman reportó el incidente a las agencias, en su propia letra

«Strictly speaking, this was true. Francine "felt fine" that next morning and went back to work as if nothing had happened.» — la acotación con que Strassman matiza su propio reporte. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y sigue en la 298

«remained convinced that leaving the Research Center against our advice, and under the influence of psilocybin, was the only thing—in fact, the courageously noble thing—to do. My "negative influence" left her little choice. Neither Laura nor I, after many months, could make even the slightest inroads into her fear and anxiety about what she began experiencing that morning.» — la continuación en la plana siguiente: Francine siguió convencida de que irse fue lo noble, y ni él ni la enfermera pudieron hacer mella en su miedo

«We made some modifications in our protocols, requiring that we interview more carefully volunteers' spouses in order to learn about the nature and basis for any serious misgivings on their part. We more clearly stated the requirement that the research team give final permission to leave the hospital. We also decided to begin with the administration of a high dose of DMT in anyone interested in the psilocybin project. By doing so, we could assess more carefully their ability to handle extreme psychedelic states.» — las modificaciones de protocolo que el incidente obligó a hacer

«Francine's session also effectively dashed any hopes for taking the research out of the hospital.» — la consecuencia que Strassman consigna: se acabó la esperanza de sacar la investigación del hospital

«I was deeply shaken. Francine was intelligent and experienced, and she had been through our DMT work before. On the one hand, she had warned us by saying she might never want any more psilocybin after her previous peak experience. On the other hand, I didn't want to disappoint her by refusing further participation. Her unpleasant experiences on DMT could have warned us about her inability to let go into fully psychedelic states, but it was hard to tell at the time. In addition, I chose to ignore the warning signs that morning: the peculiar bed arrangement and the visiting medical student's intrusiveness. I began doubting my own judgment.» — lo que Strassman declara de su propio estado tras el incidente, incluido el haber desoído las señales de esa mañana

«I also feared for giving fully psychedelic doses of psilocybin in the hospital. But if we didn't give full, active doses, what was the point? We needed to study the psychedelic, not sub-psychedelic, properties of psilocybin. Lower doses would not do, and the setting could not hold higher doses.» — el callejón sin salida que Strassman formula: dosis bajas no sirven al estudio y el entorno no aguanta las altas

«A relative latecomer to the psychedelic field, Bob was like a child in a candy shop. He exuded enthusiasm about the projects and was very helpful in recruiting new subjects. He found the volunteers fascinating and wanted to spend time with them. He loved attending meetings and conferences in which well-known psychedelic research scientists reminisced about the "good old days" and the next generation of investigators planned future studies.» — el retrato del estudiante de posgrado a quien el libro llama Bob

«However, he had a difficult time knowing when to stop. One of our volunteers invited Bob over to his house to take drugs, and he couldn't pass up the opportunity. When I shared my concern about this, he looked hurt and replied, "You've been doing this for so long, I need to catch up.» — el primer incidente con Bob: tomar drogas en casa de un voluntario, con su explicación en su propia voz

«Leanne and Tom started having sex a few months after beginning therapy. Neither Leanne, in our medication visits, nor Tom, in our weekly supervisory sessions, mentioned this. Within a few months, Leanne demanded that» — el caso de supervisión que Strassman cuenta como advertencia: el interno y la paciente empezaron una relación que ninguno de los dos le mencionó. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y sigue en la 300

«Tom leave his wife and marry her. Tom panicked and broke off the relationship. Leanne sued Tom, the clinic, and the university. Tom then threatened to sue me for "lack of supervision" if the university didn't let him leave without serious consequences. The university, wanting to avoid a lengthy, expensive, and highly public trial, settled the case out of court» — el desenlace de ese caso en la plana siguiente: la demanda, la amenaza de demandarlo a él por falta de supervisión y el arreglo extrajudicial de la universidad

«Learning from this experience how liable I was for the behavior of those working under me, even if I didn't know what they were doing, I decided it was time to reign in Bob the wayward graduate student.» — lo que Strassman aprende de ese caso sobre su propia responsabilidad por quienes trabajan bajo su supervisión

«Crying and accusing me of being unfair, Bob did not take well to being told he could not take drugs with the volunteers. My department chairman suggested I let him go. However, our research team was small, and it would have taken months to train someone to take his place.» — la reacción de Bob al límite y la razón por la que Strassman no lo despidió enseguida

«I've got so much more to learn about psychedelics. I can't take them with volunteers now. But you've got so much to teach. I want to tap some of that knowledge and experience. What better way than to trip with you in your home?» — lo que Bob le propone a Strassman en su casa, en su propia voz

«No. That's not going to happen. You can trip with your friends, of course, but not with volunteers nor with me. What seems best, though, is that you get into some therapy to talk about this. You need to get a bit of professional distance on this, and it seems hard to do.» — la respuesta de Strassman a esa propuesta. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 300 a la 301

«That wasn't the end of it. For the next several months, whenever Laura, Bob, and I would meet to discuss the research, Bob cried, or came close to tears, around the issue of taking drugs: either with the volunteers or with me. Worse, his feelings began spilling over in his dealings with prospective volunteers. People shared with me some of the comments he casually dropped while discussing the project with them: "Rick's pretty uptight about the research, you know." And, "It's too bad Rick keeps so much to himself about his feelings and motivations for this work." He also wasn't getting to the volunteers important forms to sign and articles to read.» — lo que siguió con Bob hasta su salida, incluidos los comentarios que dejaba caer ante los voluntarios

«Bob had to go, and it wasn't easy telling him. He actually seemed relieved that he no longer had to labor under what he thought were such unreasonably restrictive conditions of employment. Unfortunately, he was now free to socialize and take drugs with whomever he desired. Despite his efforts to keep such activities to himself, I never stopped hearing about them.» — el desenlace del caso de Bob, y lo que Strassman consigna de su propia impotencia después

«Finally, I was having problems taking in and dealing with all that the spirit molecule was showing us it could do. I expected psychotherapeutic, near-death, and mystical experiences during our work. However, the lack of substantial change induced by them made me wonder about their validity.» — lo que Strassman declara de su propia dificultad para asimilar lo que el estudio mostraba

«I also was unprepared for the overwhelmingly frequent reports of contact with beings. They challenged my view of the brain and reality. They also stretched and frayed my ability to empathize and support our volunteers. The lack of any close psychiatric peer colleagues added to my sense of isolation and concern about how I was responding to these sessions.» — lo que Strassman declara del efecto de los relatos de contacto sobre su propia capacidad de acompañar. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 301 a la 302

«The biomedical model was making it difficult to recruit volunteers, or to be encouraging about what awaited them. Long-term benefits seemed minimal, while adverse effects stood out more sharply and were accumulating. I could not comfortably accept nor incorporate the remarkably high frequency of being contact. Hoped-for colleagues did not join me or decided to compete for precious funds and collaborators. The hospital setting for a psilocybin study was impractical and possibly dangerous, thus making me pessimistic about working with full doses. Research team conflicts threatened what fragile hold I did maintain over the project.» — el inventario con que Strassman resume todo lo que se le juntó en contra

«I see evil spirits hovering around you. They want to come through this plane, using you and the drugs. I'm worried. This does not look good to me.» — lo que la masajista a quien el libro llama Margot le dice a Strassman, en su propia voz

«She was, nevertheless, accurate. Whether metaphorical, symbolic, or real, there was a tremendous amount of negativity piling up around me.» — cómo Strassman consigna esa advertencia sin decidir su estatuto: metafórica, simbólica o real, era exacta

«My former wife, Marion, suddenly developed cancer. Fortunately the tumor was localized, and the surgeon was confident none remained after the quickly scheduled operation. However, "just to be safe," the physician recommended more radical surgery, which Marion refused, preferring instead to pursue alternative medical therapies.» — el suceso que Strassman llama el del todo inesperado y que decide la mudanza

«Marion asked if we could move to Canada to be near family while she recuperated, to help out her son, and to give me some breathing room. Uncertain as to how successfully I could commute to Albuquerque, I nevertheless agreed to the move.» — la mudanza a Canadá y la razón que Strassman da. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 302 a la 303

«Every two months I scheduled a two-week stay in New Mexico, and I tried running as many studies as we could during those visits. The wear and tear was tremendous, and I worried about local support when I was gone. No one knew the studies, nor the volunteers, as well as I did.» — el régimen de viajes con que Strassman intentó sostener el estudio a distancia y lo que le costó

«When told we wanted him to take a break from further studies, he bought a semiautomatic weapon, "just in case of Armageddon." He adamantly denied any intention of using it against us. I was not especially reassured, so I invited him to my office during one of my New Mexico trips to assess his dangerousness. I relaxed somewhat after a twohour meeting, but Vladan did not want to give up the gun.» — lo que Strassman consigna del caso de Vladan con la psilocibina, hasta la compra del arma semiautomática y la reunión de dos horas para evaluar su peligrosidad; el troceo parte por guion a fin de renglón y span() une *two-hour* en *twohour*: el impreso lleva el guion léxico y el verbatim va como lo devuelve la herramienta

«Finally, my former Buddhist monastic community began criticizing my research and withdrawing their personal support at the same time. These events were the final ones that led me to discontinue the psychedelic research, and they are the focus of the next chapter.» — el último factor que Strassman enumera: la crítica y el retiro del apoyo de su antigua comunidad monástica budista

«here generally is little support for the incorporation of spirituality, with its nonmaterial and therefore non-measurable factors, into clinical research's fold. We will see in this chapter that neither is organized religion, no matter how mystically inclined, open-minded and secure enough to seriously consider the spiritual potential of clinical research with psychedelics.» — la tesis con que Strassman abre el último capítulo de la quinta parte: ni la investigación clínica ni la religión organizada dan cabida al potencial espiritual de los psicodélicos. La capitular se pierde en la capa de texto

«In addition to theoretical and practical contributions to the research, I also received much personal support and guidance from decades of involvement with an American Zen Buddhist monastery. From the initial inspiration for the psychedelic research to the development of the rating scale and our methods of supervising sessions, my understanding of Buddhism pervaded nearly every aspect of working with the spirit molecule.» — lo que Strassman declara deberle a su vínculo de décadas con un monasterio zen estadounidense, desde la inspiración inicial hasta la escala de medición

«Being raised a Jew in southern California in the 1950s and 1960s, my religious training emphasized learning the Hebrew language and Jewish festivals, history, and culture. We also remembered the Holocaust and supported the newly formed Jewish state of Israel. We learned little about how to directly encounter God. This was something for the ancient patriarchs alone: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and Moses.» — lo que Strassman consigna de su propia formación judía: lengua hebrea, fiestas, historia y cultura, y poco sobre cómo encontrarse con Dios. El tramo salta el cruce de plana de la 304 a la 305

«There were moments of joy in my Jewish education. Singing Hebrew folk songs and prayers in large groups was ecstatic, although I didn't use that word at the time. So were the complex swirling and whirling Israeli folk dances we learned. In addition, one of my religious school teachers did try teaching us to meditate.» — lo que Strassman recuerda como gozoso de esa formación: el canto en grupo de canciones y oraciones hebreas, las danzas israelíes y una maestra que intentó enseñarles a meditar

«Once or twice during this classroom meditation I glimpsed something inside that felt good, calm, and right, but I also was startled and a little uncomfortable contacting it.» — lo que Strassman dice haber entrevisto en esa meditación escolar, con la incomodidad que le acompañó

«I later found Eastern religious teachings and practices provided the most accessible methods to begin satisfying the desires for deeper truths that emerged during my college years. In this way I'm similar to many of my generation. These "new religions" included Zen and other forms of Buddhism, Hinduism, and Sufism. Their emphasis on mystical union with the source of all being resonated deeply with that need for ultimate truth.» — lo que Strassman declara haber hallado en las enseñanzas orientales, que nombra por su nombre: zen y otras formas de budismo, hinduismo y sufismo

«My introduction to the mysteries of the East came in the form of Transcendental Meditation in the early 1970s. I enjoyed the quiet and peacefulness of this practice, but the intellectual underpinnings did not appeal to me. Soon thereafter, I discovered in Buddhism both the practical and intellectual inspiration I was seeking.» — la secuencia que Strassman da de su propio camino: meditación trascendental a principios de los años setenta y luego budismo

«Buddhism is a meditation-based religion, 2,500 years old, that in impartial, psychological, and relatively easily accessible terms describes and considers all the states of mind one could possibly imagine, whether» — la definición de budismo que da Strassman: religión de base meditativa que describe en términos psicológicos e imparciales todos los estados mentales imaginables. El tramo se corta en el cruce de plana y sigue en la 306

«horrific, beatific, neutral, helpful, or harmful. In addition, Buddhism offers practical, cause-and-effect moral codes that apply the insights of meditation to daily life.» — la continuación en la plana siguiente: el budismo ofrece además códigos morales prácticos que aplican a la vida diaria lo que la meditación descubre

«It took a few tries to find a suitable Buddhist community. Once more, Jim Fadiman at Stanford pointed me in the right direction, this time to a midwestern United States Zen monastery run by a rather reclusive, but startlingly solid, Asian teacher. I attended two weekend meditation retreats there in 1974 and felt as if I had arrived home. The monks were serene but down to earth, and we enjoyed being with each other. Most interesting was that most of them had gained their first view of the spiritual path while on psychedelic drugs.» — cómo Strassman llegó al monasterio zen del medio oeste en 1974, y lo que halló ahí: casi todos los monjes habían visto el camino espiritual por primera vez bajo psicodélicos

«It was as simple as asking, "Did you take psychedelics before becoming a monk? How important were they in your decision?" The overwhelming majority had taken them and had experienced their first glimpse of the enlightened state of mind with their assistance.» — la pregunta con que Strassman lo averiguaba y la respuesta mayoritaria que recibió

«The meditation was straightforward: sit comfortably, back straight, and just sit. "Just sit" as in "just walk," "just wash the dishes," "just breathe." In other words, focus all your attention on the task at hand. When sitting, therefore, you just sat. No thinking, daydreaming, fidgeting, emotional reactions, talking, or whatever else complicated the sitting process. The regular in-and-out movement of the breath functioned as an excellent anchor, a point upon which the wandering mind could ground and focus its attention whenever distracting thoughts or feelings interrupted uncluttered awareness.» — la instrucción de meditación que Strassman aprendió en el monasterio, con la fórmula de solo sentarse y la respiración como ancla

«professionals at the Nyingma Institute, which had been established by a Tibetan Buddhist lama in the hills of Berkeley, California. During this course we learned the basic principles and practices of Buddhist psychology. It was here that I first learned about the Abhidharma, the Buddhist system of psychology.» — cómo Strassman llegó al Nyingma Institute de Berkeley, fundado por un lama budista tibetano, y al Abhidharma como sistema budista de psicología. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana: la oración empieza en la 306

«Abhidharma roughly translates into "catalog of mental states." There are hundreds oi Abhidharma texts, but the Nyingma lama was interested in sharing with us only the most basic principles.» — la traducción que Strassman da del término Abhidharma y el alcance de lo que se le enseñó

«One fundamental tenet was that the normal flow of personal experience actually was a smooth synthesis of several component parts. These facets are called the skandhas, or "heaps," the five "things" that make up our conscious state: form, feeling, perception, consciousness, and habitual tendencies.» — el principio del Abhidharma que Strassman expone: los cinco skandhas o montones que componen el estado consciente

«Another important point was the possibility of, and methods for, dissolving the glue that held these skandhas together. By deconstructing, as it were, the facade of our sense of self, Buddhists believe we can access deeper layers of reality, compassion, love, and wisdom.» — el segundo principio que Strassman expone: disolver el pegamento de los skandhas para acceder a capas más hondas de realidad, compasión, amor y sabiduría

«At the monastery, I underwent a layperson's ordination into the Buddhist sect whose teachings the abbot followed, and I maintained close ties with my original monk friends, who now were becoming senior members of the priestly hierarchy.» — lo que Strassman consigna de su propia ordenación laica en la secta del abad y de sus lazos con los monjes

«Many monks had left the fold as the teachings became increasingly focused on the teacher himself and his spiritual experiences. At the same time the abbot was becoming more reclusive, surrounding himself with trusted assistants. In addition, there now existed a hierarchy within the lay community. The atmosphere had taken a turn toward "who is in, and who is out." The informal and relaxed give-and-take no longer existed.» — lo que Strassman consigna del cambio en el monasterio: enseñanzas centradas en el maestro, un abad más recluido y una jerarquía dentro de la comunidad laica

«While the monastic community as a whole had lost some of its luster, I considered it my spiritual home and was married there in 1990.» — lo que Strassman declara de su vínculo con el monasterio pese a ese cambio

«Supervising psychedelic sessions usually is called "sitting." Many believe this comes from the idea of "babysitting" people who are in a highly dependent, at times confused and vulnerable state. Even more importantly, though, is "sitting" in the meditational sense.» — el doble sentido que Strassman le da al término con que se nombra el acompañamiento de una sesión psicodélica

«while being with our volunteers: watching the breath, being alert, eyes gazing straight ahead, ready to respond, keeping a positive and aware» — cómo Strassman describe la práctica del equipo durante las sesiones, en términos de meditación: vigilar la respiración, estar alerta, la mirada al frente y una actitud positiva. El verbatim arranca tras el cruce de plana, y se corta donde el troceo reemite la marca de la plana 309

«My understanding of meditation also helped me guide people through the stages of the DMT experience. For example, I applied the Abhidharmas model of mind when coaching volunteers not to get swept away by the onslaught of colors, or to investigate the space within the grains of wood in the door if they kept their eyes open. Suggesting volunteers let go, focus on the breath and body sensations, keep an open but fluid mind to whatever came their way—all of these were tools I had acquired during decades of meditation practice and study.» — lo que Strassman adjudica a su práctica de meditación dentro del estudio: las indicaciones de soltar, atender a la respiración y no dejarse arrastrar por los colores

«Previous paper-and-pencil psychological questionnaires that measured psychedelic drug effects had serious shortcomings. They assumed that psychedelics were "psychotomimetic" or "schizotoxic," and therefore they emphasized unpleasant experiences. Many of these scales were developed using volunteers, sometimes ex-narcotic-addict prisoners, who were not told what drugs they were given, or what the effects might be.» — la objeción de Strassman a los cuestionarios previos: suponían que los psicodélicos eran psicotomiméticos y se aplicaban a sujetos que no sabían qué recibían

«To offer an alternative to these tools for measuring the psychedelic experience, I used an Abhidharma- and skandha-b&sed method of characterizing mental states. This purely descriptive model meshed well with what's known as the "mental-status" approach to interviewing psychiatric patients: You talk with someone and gently investigate the quality of their basic mental functions, such as mood, thinking, and perceptions.» — el método con que Strassman construye su escala: un modelo de estados mentales tomado del Abhidharma y de los skandhas, casado con el examen del estado mental de la psiquiatría

«The familiar Abhidharma terms "form," "feeling," "perception," "consciousness," and "habitual tendencies" became the framework or structure within which the rating scale's questions emerged, and how we classified replies to those questions. However, instead of calling them skandhas, "clinical clusters" seemed more appropriate and palatable for a Western scientific audience. We gave and analyzed this new questionnaire, the Hallucinogen Rating Scale, or HRS, at the end of every DMT session for the entire project.» — cómo los términos del Abhidharma se volvieron el armazón de la Hallucinogen Rating Scale, rebautizados como grupos clínicos para el público científico occidental

«For example, Tibetan and Japanese versions of Buddhism possess a full roster of demons, gods, and angels. I understood these encounters to symbolically represent certain qualities of ourselves, not autonomous noncorporeal life forms.» — lo que Strassman consigna del repertorio de demonios, dioses y ángeles del budismo tibetano y japonés, y la lectura simbólica con que él lo entendía