Life is Real Only Then, When 'I Am'

«No one interested in my writings should ever attempt to read them in any other than the indicated order» — la instrucción que ata la trilogía: el orden de lectura es dato de la obra, no convención editorial.

«Life is real only then, when "I am"» — el título, que es también la tesis: la realidad de la vida queda condicionada a la presencia de sí.

«the real, indubitably comprehensible, genuine objective truths which will be brought to light by me in the third series» — lo que se promete para esta serie, y conviene leerlo junto al hecho de que quedó sin terminar.

«ALL AND EVERYTHING Ten Books in Three Series FIRST SERIES: Three books under the title of "Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson" or, "An Objectively Impartial Criticism of the Life of Man," SECOND SERIES: Three books under the common title of "Meetings with Remarkable Men." THIRD SERIES: Four books under the common title of "Life Is Real Only Then, When I Am."» — el plan declarado del corpus entero: diez libros en tres series, con el título alterno de la primera. Este volumen es el que lo imprime.

«All written according to entirely new principles of logical reasoning and strictly directed towards the solution of the following three cardinal problems:» — declara que las tres series obedecen a principios nuevos de razonamiento y a tres problemas cardinales, que enuncia a continuación.

«FIRST SERIES: To destroy, mercilessly, without any compromises whatsoever, in the mentation and feelings of the reader, the beliefs and views, by centuries rooted in him, about everything existing in the world.» — el fin de la primera serie, formulado como demolición sin compromiso. La ficha de Meetings recoge la misma fórmula por boca de su prologuista.

«SECOND SERIES: To acquaint the reader with the material required for a new creation and to prove the soundness and good quality of it.» — el fin de la segunda serie: dar el material para una construcción nueva y probar su calidad.

«THIRD SERIES: To assist the arising, in the mentation and in the feelings of the reader, of a veritable, nonfantastic representation not of that illusory world which he now perceives, but of the world existing in reality.» — el fin de esta tercera serie, que la propia edición declara inconclusa: hacer surgir una representación del mundo real frente al ilusorio.

«No! This cannot be! . . . Something here is not right!» — el arranque del prólogo, escrito en primera persona y en el momento en que constata que su capacidad de recordarse se le va.

«If this is true, then everything in the sphere of reason is illogical.» — la consecuencia que saca de esa constatación, y con la que abre la crisis que el libro narra.

«Moreover, my Being is necessary not only for my personal egoism but also for the common welfare of all humanity.» — la razón que se da a sí mismo para no rendirse, y que enlaza su caso particular con un fin general.

«Since I had not, when in full strength and health, succeeded in introducing in practice into the life of people the beneficial truths elucidated for them by me, then I must at least, at any cost, succeed in doing this in theory, before my death.» — el motivo declarado del giro a la escritura: fracasada la vía práctica, queda la teórica.

«I had decided to write three series of books.» — narra la decisión de escribir las tres series, y la data en aquella crisis.

«During this common reading, by the way, I enlightened myself for the first time with regard to the particular form in which it would be necessary to write in order that it might be accessible to the understanding of everyone.» — cuenta que la forma accesible de la segunda serie la descubrió en una lectura en voz alta, es decir por el efecto sobre oyentes.

«But time is needed for the exposition of the second and third series; and time will be also necessary for introducing into practical life the essence of these writings of mine.» — plantea el problema del que depende todo el libro: el tiempo que le queda.

«And indeed there remains to me but one or two or perhaps, at the most, three years more of life.» — el plazo que se atribuye, con su perhaps. Conviene leerlo junto al hecho de que la obra quedó sin terminar.

«Concerning this, that is, that I have soon to die, any one of hundreds of physician-specialists knowing me can now confirm.» — respalda ese plazo con una apelación a médicos que no nombra.

«In fact, all the functions of my organism which previously had been, as my friends said, "steel-cast," had gradually degenerated, so that at the present moment due to constant overworking not one of them was, even relatively, functioning properly.» — el balance de su estado físico, referido con el término que atribuye a sus amigos.

«At this time it was ascertained that below, in the process of civil war, the upper hand, as it is said, had been taken by the Russian army and that already everywhere the Cossacks were poking about and arresting every "suspicious" inhabitant who was not a native.» — sitúa el episodio de la herida de bala dentro de la guerra civil; el libro cuenta sus heridas con el contexto militar puesto.

«The fact of the matter is that, in places where the railroad passed, there had only recently been completed a so-called "realization of a higher gradation" of the "national psychosis,"» — nombra con su propia terminología irónica la matanza interétnica de la región.

«My misfortune in this case consisted in the fact that, having a "universal appearance," I represented to the Armenians a pure-blooded Tartar and to the Tartars a pure-blooded Armenian.» — narra su propia ambigüedad de aspecto como peligro; es el reverso de los disfraces que Meetings cuenta como recurso.

«He was arrested only because he was here for the first time and nobody here had ever seen him before.» — refiere la detención de su acompañante, y la causa: ser desconocido en el lugar.

«And as there were now many dangerous revolutionaries everywhere, he was arrested only in order to establish his identity.» — completa la explicación del arresto, sin comentario político.

«This place is located on the southwestern edge of the Gobi desert and represents to my mind the most fertile of all the parts of the surface of our earth.» — sitúa el lugar de su convalecencia en el borde suroccidental del Gobi, sin más precisión.

«And concerning the air of this place and its salutary influence on everyone inhaling it, I will say that it is truly purgatorial.» — llama purgatorial al aire del lugar, término que el pasaje siguiente explica en sentido literal.

«If in reality there exist paradise and hell, and if from them arises any radiation, then the air in the space between these two sources would surely have to be similar to this.» — la explicación del término, planteada como condicional doble y no como afirmación cosmológica.

«For on one side is a soil which almost literally pours from itself, as from a cornucopia, all kinds of earthly flora, fauna and phoscalia, and right next to this fertile soil is an area of many thousands of square kilometers representing literally hell, where not only nothing crops up but anything originating elsewhere that happens to get in its midst, is destroyed in a very short time, leaving no trace.» — la descripción geográfica de la que saca la figura del aire entre paraíso e infierno; phoscalia es término suyo.

«Living there, far from people of all sorts, attended by these two sympathetic people who treated me almost maternally, and all the time nourished by the above-mentioned "cleansing air," I, within six weeks, recovered so that I already wished and was able at any moment to leave this salutary place.» — narra su restablecimiento en seis semanas y atribuye parte de él al aire, que trata como segundo alimento.

«For instance, the development of the power of my thoughts had been brought to such a level that by only a few hours of self-preparation I could from a distance of tens of miles kill a yak;» — se atribuye poderes de acción a distancia. Se consigna como lo que la obra afirma de su autor, no como hecho.

«or, in twenty-four hours, could accumulate life forces of such compactness that I could in five minutes put to sleep an elephant.» — la segunda de esas afirmaciones sobre sí mismo, con las mismas cautelas de lectura.

«I could not attain the state of "remembering myself even sufficiently to hinder the associations flowing in me automatically from certain undesirable hereditary factors of my nature.» — el hallazgo que ordena el libro: los poderes no bastan para recordarse a sí mismo. El OCR pierde la comilla de cierre.

«From one side it is clear that it is necessary to "remember myself" during the process of ordinary life also, and from the other side that there is a necessity for the presence of attentiveness which is able to merge, in case of contact, with others.» — plantea las dos condiciones del auto-recuerdo: en la vida ordinaria y con atención capaz de fundirse en el contacto.

«However, there is; there is one exit only—to have outside myself, so to say, a "never-sleeping-regulating-factor."» — nombra la solución que adopta: un factor regulador exterior que no duerma nunca.

«Namely, a factor which would remind me always, in my every common state, to "remember myself."» — precisa la función de ese factor, que es la que da sentido al juramento que sigue.

«I am a man, and as such I am, in contrast to all other outer forms of animal life, created by Him in His image!!!» — la premisa teológica de la que deriva lo que sigue, con los signos de admisión que la fuente imprime.

«I am God also, although only of my inner world.» — la conclusión que saca de esa premisa, con su límite dentro: solo de su mundo interior.

«Therefore I also have now for my small inner world to create out of myself, from some factor beloved by me, an alike unending source.» — el razonamiento por analogía que lo lleva a sacrificar lo que más quiere de sí.

«Thanks mainly to this my inherency, developed in me by myself, /, in the process of general life, especially for the last two years, had been spoiled and depraved to the core, so that most likely this would remain for all my life.» — el juicio sobre sí mismo del que sale el juramento; la inherencia le sirvió para corromperse.

«And so, if consciously I would deprive myself of this grace of my inherency, then undoubtedly always and in everything its absence would be felt.» — el cálculo que hace: la privación misma será el recordatorio permanente.

«I take an oath to remember never to make use of this inherency of mine and thereby to deprive myself from satisfying most of my vices.» — el juramento que el libro pone en su centro, y con el motivo que él le da.

«I must also mention that, when I took the oath not to apply in life this inherency of mine, I made a reservation that my oath should not concern the application of it for scientific purposes.» — la reserva que él mismo pone a su juramento, y que conviene tener a la vista cuando se cita el juramento solo.

«The trouble is that until this time the aim of my inner world had been concentrated only on my one unconquerable desire to investigate from all sides, and to understand, the exact significance and purpose of the life of man.» — declara cuál había sido hasta entonces el fin único de su mundo interior.

«Even my propensity during this period for always traveling and trying to place myself wherever in the process of the mutual existence of people there proceeded sharp energetic events, such as civil war, revolutions, etc., had sprung also from this, my sole aim.» — explica sus viajes hacia zonas de guerra y revolución como método de investigación, no como azar.

«After two years of constant psychophysically tense work this organization was rapidly nearing completion when suddenly war broke out, a war which no one expected would continue long but which gradually became chronic and is now» — narra la interrupción del primer proyecto de Instituto por la guerra.

«By this time it had already become clear, on the one hand, that without exception all I had had in the way of material resources in the country of former Russia had disappeared forever, and, on the other, that if» — consigna la pérdida total de sus recursos en Rusia; el capítulo económico de Meetings narra lo mismo desde el lado de los negocios.

«When these two indubitable facts became quite clear to me, there began in me, within the already enveloping sphere of physical sufferings, moral sufferings also.» — distingue las dos capas de sufrimiento, la física y la moral, que el libro trata por separado.

«I intentionally put away from me all thoughts about the reasons for this second series of moral sufferings, because I clearly understood my helplessness.» — declara haber apartado el pensamiento a propósito, y la razón: comprender la propia impotencia.

«I decided to devote all the functions of my inner world to the end that somehow I might expound the very essence of all the material elucidated by me for the welfare of humanity in the form of some kind of exposition.» — la decisión de volcarlo todo en la escritura, tomada desde la impotencia práctica.

«I say "dictating" because at first I was still so weak that I could not myself write but only dictate.» — precisa que la obra empezó dictada; el dato importa al estatuto textual de lo que se lee.

«My categorical decision, to which I came on the 6th of November, 1927, consisted in the following: To mobilize all the capacities and possibilities in my common presence, both those personally achieved and those inherited, and until the moment of the arrival of the next new year, which moment is that of my appearance on God's Earth, to discover some possible means of satisfactorily emerging from such a situation.» — data en el 6 de noviembre de 1927 la decisión con plazo que ordena esta parte del libro.

«If unable to discover this means, then, on the evening of the last day of the old year, to begin to destroy all my writings, calculating the time so as, at midnight with the last page, to destroy myself also.» — la alternativa que se impone si el plazo vence: quemar los escritos y matarse con la última página. Meetings trae una amenaza paralela, la hoguera en el jardín, sin la segunda mitad.

«Both of these completely satisfying wishes could be fulfilled only if there were actualized three definite aims.» — anuncia los tres fines de los que hace depender su continuidad.

«First, that I rewrite anew all of my expositions, but in a new form which I now already understood.» — el primero de esos fines: reescribirlo todo en la forma nueva.

«And third, that there may be the possibility during this period, while I am fulfilling all this, of renewing my physical body and my spirit to such a degree that, when my writings are completed, I can direct the spreading of them myself, with the energy and persistence which were peculiar to me in my youth.» — el tercero: recobrar salud bastante para dirigir él mismo la difusión. Es el fin que la obra no alcanzó.

«It will not be amiss to remark here that with regard to my estimate of the period of seven years there even arose in me a feeling of selfderision, and with such a feeling I thought the following: Would it not be curious if I really lived for seven more years and finished during this period everything I have mentioned?» — consigna su propia burla del plazo de siete años; el libro no oculta la inverosimilitud de lo que se propone.

«The fact is that my mother knew not one word of the language which my wife spoke and my wife in turn understood no word of the language which my mother spoke.» — abre el episodio con que ilustra una comunicación sin lengua común.

«In spite of this, not only did they very freely interchange their ordinary opinions, but they had imparted to each other in a very short time all the peculiar experiences and the full biographies of their lives.» — refiere el hecho sin explicarlo; el libro lo deja como observación y no lo lleva a doctrina.

«It is necessary here to confess that my sufferings were chiefly on behalf of my wife.» — declara el origen del sufrimiento que el capítulo narra: la enfermedad de su mujer.

«The trouble was that while I was considered by many people at that time (and perhaps even now still am, I don't know) the sole man on earth who could cure completely this illness of hers, nevertheless, at the given time, because of my own illness, I could not do this.» — consigna la reputación de curador que se le atribuía y su propia impotencia, con la reserva I don't know puesta por él.

«It perplexed me seriously because I already knew, and had been convinced before without any doubt, thanks to my own manifold experience, that although it is possible to attain any self-imposed aim it can only be done exclusively through conscious suffering.» — enuncia la regla del sufrimiento consciente como única vía, y a la vez el caso en que a él no le sirvió.

«And it was impossible to explain because in this particular case I suffered unconsciously, while this process proceeded in me automatically in accordance with my typicality and the accidental crystallization in it of corresponding psychic factors.» — la distinción entre sufrimiento consciente e inconsciente aplicada a sí mismo, y el reconocimiento de que el suyo era del segundo tipo.

«The beneficent result for me from this "Inner-World Revolution" occurring within me was that from that moment on I could freely, without influence of partial feelings, again think in my habitual way.» — nombra Inner-World Revolution el vuelco interior que narra y consigna su efecto.

«Second: whomever I should meet, for business, commerce or any other purpose, whether an old or new acquaintance, and whatever his social standing might be, I had immediately to discover his "most sensitive corn" and "press" it rather hard.» — la regla del callo sensible, formulada por él mismo como programa deliberado. Es el pasaje que la obra de Wellbeloved cita al describir su método con los alumnos.

«And third: not to refuse anything to my physical body, especially insofar as food is concerned; at the same time always, after satisfying myself and during digestion, to stimulate within myself for not less than fifteen minutes the feeling of pity, thinking of other people who had no means of having such food.» — la tercera regla de aquel programa, que une la satisfacción del cuerpo con un ejercicio cronometrado de compasión.

«Their sincere sympathy in reality gave birth in me every time to thoughts which may be expressed as follows: "came, sucked me out like vampires and went away.» — consigna sin suavizar lo que pensaba de quienes lo visitaban con simpatía.

«In the future, under the pretext of different worthy reasons, to remove from my eyesight all those who by this or that make my life too comfortable.» — la resolución de apartar a quienes le hacían la vida cómoda, tomada como norma.

«First, "puffed" three small booklets into ten substantial volumes.» — describe su propia obra como tres folletos inflados a diez volúmenes; el libro se juzga a sí mismo con la misma dureza con que juzga a otros.

«Second, not only understood from all sides different deep-rooted minutiae of the common psyche of man, suspected by me and intriguing me all my life, but constated unexpectedly many such "delicacies," which, had they been known to Mr. Beelzebub, would, I daresay, grow the horns mentioned by me in the next to the last chapter of the first series of my writings, even on his hooves.» — el segundo de los balances que hace de aquellos siete años, con remisión a un capítulo de la primera serie.

«Third, my health is now in such condition that I not only, as you may see, live and write such an already ultra-fantastic book, but intend to outlive all my past, present and future conscious enemies.» — el tercero, en que califica de ultra-fantástico su propio libro.

«First, last year I was not entirely satisfied with the degree of achievement of my third fundamental aim; namely, during changes of weather, I still felt rather serious rheumatic pains.» — mide el cumplimiento de sus tres fines por síntomas concretos.

«Of the name alone of such a law, I happened to learn for the first time, when still very young, from a certain very ancient Armenian papyrus, and the details of this law I accidentally cleared up many years later, during my study of the so-called "map of pre-sand Egypt" which had come, also altogether accidentally, into my possession.» — da la procedencia de la ley solioonensius: un papiro armenio y el mapa del Egipto anterior a la arena, que es el mismo mapa que Meetings narra haber copiado a escondidas.

«To odds-and-ends out of the totality of what I cleared up about the law of "solioonensius," I referred, it seems, in the second book of the first series of my writings, in the chapter entitled "Russia."» — remite la exposición de esa ley a un capítulo de la primera serie, con la reserva it seems.

«This book which I am now writing [was originally intended to be] the last book of the third series of my writings, which will be published.» — declara el lugar de este volumen en el plan; los corchetes son del editor y así se ven en el facsímil.

«I was compelled to destroy not only this book itself but also everything prepared for the affirmation of the spirit of its essence.» — narra la destrucción de un libro terminado y de todo su aparato. Es uno de los huecos declarados del corpus.

«I refer to that already-mentioned principle which I characterized by the words "to press the most sensitive corn of everyone I met.» — vuelve sobre el principio del callo sensible y lo trata como principio inventado por él, no como táctica ocasional.

«Because of it I lost not only the wealth that I possessed but also all socalled "friends," and even the so to say "privilege of being envied"—in a word, all that because of which only I was several years ago considered by a great many people no mere "dog's tail" but one of the first-ranking "aces" of contemporary life.» — cifra el costo de aquel principio en pérdida de fortuna y de amistades.

«In spite of all this, I, today, when I write these lines and when the surrounding conditions of my ordinary life—grown law-abidingly worse and worse because of my inflexible carrying out in life of the tasks set myself, and among them this principle of mine—are already so far gone that I cannot even imagine how I shall pull through, bless this principle with all my being.» — pese al costo, lo suscribe; la afirmación va con la situación material en el mismo período.

«The first, formed in my being while yet in childhood, and which is the sovereign of my convictions, may be formulated as follows: "Only then may a man be a good altruist to his nearest, when at times he can be a complete egoist.» — la convicción que él llama soberana entre las suyas, y que empareja egoísmo y altruismo. Wellbeloved documenta el mismo consejo dado a una alumna.

«If I should attain my self-imposed aims, and should still survive, then I would live with a definite program, as follows:» — condiciona su programa futuro a sobrevivir, con lo cual el libro se escribe sin dar por hecho su desenlace.

«Thus now, after everything that has been clarified in this introductory chapter, I advise, and at that very sincerely, all my readers, both those who know me and those who do not, and also all my dear friends and not less dear "enemies," to try to understand properly the essence of the text of this, my last book, and especially the essence of the concluding chapter.» — dirige el libro a amigos y enemigos por igual y señala el capítulo final como su clave.

«Above I used the word "enemies" not casually but because, first, the very best friends for my real self, that is, for my inner world, appear, strange as it may seem, to be some from among a great number of my "staunch enemies," at the present time scattered all over the world; and because, second, it may serve me ideally as a good example for the concluding chapter of the present book, and therefore I shall use it as such.» — explica por qué llama amigos a sus enemigos: le sirven al mundo interior, y de paso le sirven de ejemplo.

«I said for their pleasure or displeasure because I do not know which current of life's river they follow at present.» — introduce la figura de las dos corrientes del río de la vida, que el libro desarrollará después.

«Since then much time has elapsed. . . . Whether they have remained in that current of life's river into which I, unmerciful to myself, had directed them—just that current which sooner or later must fall into the fathomless ocean—I do not know; or whether the temptations of life, likewise law-abiding, have pushed them into the current which sooner or later must fall into the abyss, for further involution and evolution.» — desarrolla la figura de las dos corrientes con sus dos destinos, y declara no saber en cuál quedaron aquellas personas.

«While I, as may be said, "groaned" and "puffed" over the last chapter of the third book of the second series of my writings, in the process of my "subconscious mentation," that is to say, in my automatically flowing thoughts, the center of gravity of interest was concentrated by itself on the question: how should I begin the third series of books predetermined by me for writing, namely, that series of books which according to my conviction was destined to become in a short time so to say "edifyingly instructive" for all the creatures of Our Common Father similar to myself; but here I must sincerely confess» — sitúa la concepción de la tercera serie mientras cerraba la segunda, y le atribuye un fin edificante.

«I determined by this very series of books consciously to acquit myself with Great Nature for my arising and existence, chiefly for an existence not merely as an "ordinary life," automatically fulfilling some purpose necessary for the general realizations of Great Nature, but rather as an existence» — declara el fin personal de la serie: saldar con la Naturaleza la deuda de su propia existencia.

«I wish to begin with this description chiefly because upon these talks, as I planned them in my thoughts, a corresponding foundation may be built for everything which I have decided to introduce into the conscious life of people by means of this third and last series of my writings; furthermore, because the publication of these lectures, combined with the description of the events and causes which provoked them, to which events and causes I reacted by means of these very talks of definite form and sequence, will, I have almost no doubt» — declara la forma del libro: charlas más la narración de lo que las provocó, y no exposición doctrinal.

«This phrase burst forth from me almost involuntarily and took a shape which derived from the totality of my instinctive and conscious conviction that by this act of making known this last series of my writings, I could rely on fulfilling» — consigna que su decisión más pesada le salió casi involuntaria; el libro registra sus propios automatismos.

«To characterize my intentional "inner isolation" from those external impressions which hindered my writing activity, it will be enough to say that during this time I did not once read a newspaper or even hold one in my hand, and it was almost the same with letters» — narra su aislamiento voluntario de la prensa mientras escribía. La primera serie de Meetings dedica páginas a por qué la prensa daña.

«When in the second year I was especially "bombarded" with big piles of letters, I commissioned one of the people near me to open these letters without giving them to me, and if there were no what are called "enclosures" nor any indication of their immediate dispatch, to destroy them in such a way that not even their "astral smell" should remain in my house, but if there were enclosures, then, as I had the habit of expressing myself, according to the number of English, or at worst American, "zeros" adorning them, to act in the following way:» — describe el procedimiento con que filtraba su correspondencia por el número de ceros del cheque; lo cuenta sin disimulo y con humor.

«This arrangement of mine, by the way, still continues today, but in the near future, that is to say, the moment I finish this first book of the third series of my writings, I propose to change this arrangement in such a way that all the letters and telegrams without exception are to be destroyed and the enclosures with no fewer than four zeros, handed to me, those with three to my secretary, those with two to the children living in my house, and all the enclosures with one zero will be sent to the poor children of the towns of Fontainebleau and Avon.» — el escalón completo del reparto, que llega hasta los niños pobres de Fontainebleau y Avon.

«it is because I have already succeeded in fulfilling the greatest part of the task I set myself, in spite of all kinds of obstructive factors—both those which arose according to law and those engendered by various types» — declara cumplida la mayor parte de la tarea; conviene leerlo junto al estado fragmentario en que el volumen quedó.

«The second of the facts I mentioned was that, while the acuteness of my memory in connection with the questions of writing had become sharpened during my writing activities to an extraordinary degree, so that, for instance, I always could and even now still can remember where, in which notebook out of many thousands I have filled up, and in what connection with another thought a particular thought is expressed and has to be repeated in a different form and precisely in what other place, and could and even still can remember on which of the already tens of thousands of pages of the notebooks I have filled» — describe una memoria extraordinaria para su propio archivo, junto a la pérdida de memoria para la vida corriente que narra al lado.

«These repeated constatations not only began to alarm me but aroused gradually in my psyche the "needful thirst for knowledge," for the purpose of understanding the causes of this fact.» — sitúa el origen de la investigación que este libro narra en una alarma repetida sobre sus propios seguidores.

«The result of this was that at subsequent meetings with such people I began, for the purpose of elucidation, to observe them particularly and by means of indirect questions to probe for more material which might enable me to understand the origin of this strange and, for me personally, sorrowful fact.» — describe su método: observación y preguntas indirectas sobre sus propios alumnos.

«Each new meeting with such people, and even the associations provoked by recollection of this as yet inexplicable fact, on the one hand began to increase my interest and the thirst for knowledge to such a degree of manifestation that it became almost my idee fixe; on the other hand, the automatic thoughts about it began to hinder me seriously in my usual inner struggle with the lawful refusal of my nature to submit to my consciousness and interfered thus with the possibility» — reconoce que la investigación se le volvió idea fija y le estorbó el trabajo interior.

«But when finally, at the end of 1930, 1 arrived in New York and on the first day I happened to find myself among a large number of Americans, followers of my ideas, and when I observed the same phenomenon also among them, then this produced such a deep impression on me, and the force of reaction was so strong, that it provoked a cold shivering similar to that which takes people who are afflicted by the so-called "yellow malaria of Kushka.» — data en el final de 1930 el episodio de Nueva York que desencadena la ruptura con el grupo de Orage.

«I must frankly confess that if such a strong reaction occurred in me, thanks to which I decided this time by all means to understand and elucidate from all sides the causes of this psychic peculiarity, and if possible to take all the corresponding measures, it was principally because in regard to people just of this group, long before, owing to their good attitude toward me during the hard years that followed my misfortune, there had long before gradually formed in me "something" commanding me to consider myself, in certain respects» — explica su reacción por una deuda de gratitud con ese mismo grupo; el libro no separa la doctrina de la obligación personal.

«On the first evening of my arrival in New York, the 13th of November, 1930, there was arranged on the initiative of certain members of this group—it must be presumed of "pure-blooded" Americans, judging by their ability to find ways of economizing time—a general meeting to enable them all to meet and personally greet me, in one of the studios of the famous theater, Carnegie Hall, to which I was invited by Mr. S. on the steamer as soon as it arrived in New York.» — da la fecha y el lugar exactos de aquella reunión. El libro fecha los episodios de esta parte con precisión de diario.

«During the first greetings and the famous "manipulation" called "shaking hands" I noticed in their faces and glances the same "something" that I had noticed among the people from Germany, England, Turkey and other European countries who had also somehow or other become followers of my ideas.» — consigna que el rasgo que le alarma no es americano sino común a sus seguidores de varios países.

«I want, right from the beginning of this series, to speak also of such external facts, the description of which for a naive reader might appear at first sight almost a meaningless, mere succession of words» — advierte que los hechos externos que narra tienen sentido interior, y pide leerlos así.

«As perfect "showing material" for searching and understanding the inner sense in the description of similar, at first sight seemingly meaningless, external facts, there may serve what I said then at the end» — remite al propio discurso de aquella noche como muestra de esa manera de leer.

«Half-and-quarter powerful Gentlemen and to the extreme degree powerful Ladies of this 'dollar harvest continent' . . . I was very, very glad to see you and, although sitting so long among you» — el arranque literal de su discurso en Nueva York, con el apelativo que dirige a su auditorio.

«I said 'out of boredom' because the contents of this chapter, over each sentence of which I had to think and again to think for three months almost day and night, bored me more than your fish called 'mackerel'» — dentro de aquel discurso, el juicio que hace de su propio capítulo recién terminado.

«To speak frankly, I am not yet convinced of the exact cause of the reawakening in me of this previously existing undesirable impulse» — consigna que no sabe la causa de lo que le ocurre; el libro deja abiertas sus propias preguntas.

«Three days after the significant American meeting just described, days which the inhabitants there would characterize differently—those having many dollars in their pockets, no matter what were the ways of obtaining them, as "passed with no monotony,"» — encadena los hechos por fechas y de paso ironiza sobre el criterio con que allí se mide el tiempo.

«According to the deductions after the observations and questionings made by me during these days, to my great regret, I shall be compelled during my present stay in New York to take various measures toward many of your comrades in order that either they should become completely disappointed in my ideas or there should disappear the faith crystallized in their individuality during these years in regard to Mr. Orage and his authority.» — enuncia la alternativa con que va a operar sobre el grupo: o pierden la fe en sus ideas o la pierden en Orage.

«I think I succeeded finally in working out in my thoughts an approximately corresponding form of exposition.» — declara que la forma de las charlas fue estudiada de antemano, con su approximately.

«In accordance with this so to say "scheme of exposition," I shall now first of all arouse in you and explain several such questions which, as I presume, will appear on first sight quite unfitting for what you expect to hear from me in the sense of what I have promised to say with respect to your welfare, whereas in reality only such a scheme of sequential development of the promised explanations may, in my opinion, crystallize in your abnormally constructed "mental apparatus" those notions, the cognition of which I consider not only very useful for you but absolutely indispensable.» — expone el método de exposición y a la vez el juicio con que trata a su auditorio, cuyo aparato mental llama anormalmente construido.

«This Institute, by the way, was first founded by me while still in Russia, two years before the beginning of, as one calls it now, "the World War," but I could not succeed in establishing firmly this "child" of mine, as one says, "on its own legs"—in spite of many repeated attempts to set it up in various other countries which ended every time, thanks to all kinds of consequences of this war, with a "crash," accompanied for me with enormous material loss and waste of effort, which demanded almost superhuman tension of my physical and moral strength—until, as I have already said, eight years ago, in noble France.» — data la primera fundación del Instituto en Rusia dos años antes de la guerra, y cuenta sus fracasos sucesivos. Wellbeloved data la fundación con el nombre completo en Tiflis en 1919.

«The second of these points, in my opinion indispensable for you to know, included the detailed working out and form of actualization of that supposition of mine, in order, with the establishment of a more or less balanced "tempo" of life in the main section of the Institute, to subdivide immediately all the pupils, according to the results obtained in their subjective inner work upon themselves, into three independent groups named: the first—exoteric, outer group; the second—mesoteric, middle group; and the third—esoteric, inner group.» — expone la división del Instituto en tres grados, con los nombres exotérico, mesotérico y esotérico.

«To the first, exoteric group were to belong all those who had newly entered, as well as those who had not yet acquired by their subjective merits the right to belong to the second, the mesoteric group.» — define el primer grado por exclusión: los que aún no han merecido el segundo.

«The pupils belonging to this second, mesoteric group, according to the fundamental program, were to be as yet initiated only theoretically into all the questions not accessible to the average man which have been elucidated by me personally owing to my half a century's special searchings both on my own and together with a specially organized group of people of the highest contemporary culture, who devoted themselves to the search for objective truth.» — define el segundo grado como iniciación solo teórica, y de paso nombra el grupo de búsqueda que Meetings llama Seekers of Truth.

«The members of the third group, the esoteric, according to the same detailed program, were to be initiated not only theoretically into all these questions, but also practically, and to be introduced to all the means for a real possibility of self-perfecting, but of course only after having been for a long time experimentally tried and verified in quite exceptionally planned circumstances.» — define el tercer grado por la iniciación práctica, condicionada a una prueba prolongada.

«The first of these "initiative psychic factors," which even till the present time often enervates me, formed itself in me just at the time of working out this program thanks to an unremitting fight between themselves of my consciousness and my nature.» — atribuye el origen de un factor psíquico propio a la pugna entre su conciencia y su naturaleza mientras redactaba el programa.

«Unfortunately, nothing of the concrete consequences for general human welfare expected from this program, which had been foreseen in the smallest details, could be realized, on account of the event» — consigna que nada de aquel programa llegó a realizarse.

«I began an almost daily series of lectures for the pupils of the Institute» — data la práctica de conferencias diarias en el Instituto.

«Among other things, I said then that the most important work for a man» — abre la recapitulación de aquellas conferencias, que el libro reproduce en resumen.

«I was compelled to make the decision, without waiting for the complete preparation of the material I had planned upon, to travel immediately to you Americans-people covered at that time with so to say "a dollar deposit"— with only that material which had been already more or less prepared.» — declara que el viaje a América se adelantó por necesidad material y con el material a medio preparar.

«I had not only successfully enough regulated the "material question" of the Institute, but also prepared everything required for the foundation here in America of several permanent sections.» — el balance del primer viaje, en los mismos términos con que el capítulo económico de Meetings mide sus empresas.

«I at once without losing time opened here in New York, by the way, temporary classes in rhythmic movements and in music with the intention on my next visit, which was supposed to be six months later, of transforming these classes into the first fundamental branch of the Institute in America.» — data la apertura de clases de movimientos y música en Nueva York, y el plan que el accidente interrumpió.

«The beginning of the multiplication and nourishing of these misunderstandings, already previously existing in great number in relation to me and to the process for the actualization of my intentions, as well as the scattering of new ones as if from a horn of plenty, was due chiefly to the fact that for several months after this "misfortune" I lost my memory entirely and then for several months more lay in a semiconscious state.» — adjudica la proliferación de malentendidos a su propia ausencia tras el accidente, que narra como pérdida total de memoria.

«As each of these pupils of the Institute founded by me, in the sense of his "subjective being," belonged as yet only to the mentioned exoteric group, that is to say, still had the being of an ordinary average man and» — sitúa a los alumnos que quedaron a cargo de la enseñanza en el grado más bajo de su propia escala.

«I think that it will be, for now, enough to note, by the way, that at present, for all the people existing in different countries who have in one way or another become followers of my ideas, the totality of» — abre la exposición sobre cómo sus ideas se fragmentan por países.

«People from Germany, especially those from Bavaria, thanks to the information assimilated by them about the possibility of an effective nutrition not only with the ordinary food but also with air, have taken as their "fancy" the idea of giving to the composition of their blood the property of being able to fulfill all the exigencies of the physical body» — el ejemplo concreto de esa fragmentación: cada grupo cristaliza la parte que le conviene.

«my choice, from among those who were near me, of the most suitable person for this preliminary departure fell upon one of the older followers of my ideas, who was then the chief physician of the Institute, Dr. Stjernvall, but as, at that time, he was not at all acquainted with the English language, I decided to send together with him, as assistant and translator, one of the newly entered English pupils.» — narra la elección de los enviados a América, con nombre propio.

«who, according to the so-called "individual record" usually made in the Institute for each pupil, was previously an English journalist and, I thought, as a journalist ought surely to know English very well.» — consigna que el Instituto llevaba ficha individual de cada alumno; el dato es de organización, no de doctrina.

«to my sincere regret, instead of finding, in comparison with other people, data of a "higher level"—which obligatorily ought to have been formed during this time in you, as people who happened prematurely to come in contact with the truths learned by me through my halfcentury's conscientious labors, almost incomprehensible for contemporary people, which give the possibility and chance to every man to obtain the Being of a real man—there is formed, as I can now impartially constate, something quite contrary.» — el juicio que hace de sus propios alumnos americanos: no un nivel más alto sino lo contrario.

«Mr. Orage, being present as well, unexpectedly offered his services and with great excitement began to affirm his able-ness to do it brilliantly.» — narra cómo entró Orage en la empresa americana; el capítulo entero se ocupa después de expulsarlo.

«the solving of which was above his capacities, said to me that just that day he had received from America, from Mr. Orage, $1, 000, adding that it was the third time that he had received such a sum and that it always came most appropriately.» — consigna que el dinero de Orage sostuvo al Instituto en su peor momento; el reproche posterior no borra el dato.

«Only a year after the mentioned talk about money sent by Mr. Orage from America, when I had more or less liquidated all the dangers of the advancing catastrophe and the state of my health had improved, I found out that these "sendings" from Mr. Orage, though diminished, still continued, and that some of your compatriots participated in them.» — precisa que las remesas continuaron y que otros participaban en ellas.

«Mr. Orage, who was left by me in America and who was occupied at first only by fulfilling my errands regarding my projected second visit, after the catastrophe which occurred to me, while very much captivated by my ideas, and still not yet completely under the influence of his "left-shoulder Angel," when he learned of all that had occurred to me, at once began profiting from the strong impression still continuing by inertia which I had made on your compatriots, and for several months began to collect money and to send a part of it» — el reproche a Orage, formulado con la misma frase en que le reconoce el envío del dinero. La obra deja las dos cosas juntas.

«And at the same time, obviously with the aim of giving an external justification to these collections, he began, without my permission for» — el segundo cargo contra Orage: haber enseñado sin permiso para justificar las colectas.

«It will be right and just because the Americans, chiefly you who compose this group, besides having been for a long time in contact with my ideas, were the only ones who proved to be grateful to me during the hard years of crisis, and you were also the only ones with whom I had personal relations after the misfortune which occurred to me, when I gave my» — reconoce a ese mismo grupo como el único que le fue leal en los años duros.

«In spite of my most natural sincere desire, which must be clear to you, that the first branch of the "fundamental kernel" of such a first institution connected with my ideas should be organized just here among you, I, impartially analyzing with my consciousness all the past and confronting certain obvious facts, cannot fulfill in peace such a wish» — declara que no puede fundar allí el núcleo del Instituto pese a desearlo, y da la razón por hechos.

«I have therefore decided, during the period of my stay here among you, to devote all the time left after the fulfillment of my fundamental task to the organization and opening here of the first club of this kind.» — la decisión que sustituye al Instituto: abrir un club.

«I took a categorical decision: to postpone the organization of these clubs until next year and to devote» — el aplazamiento, tomado en la misma charla en que había anunciado la apertura.

«The second part of this plan designed by me, that is to say, the purification of undesirable elements from your group, will manifest itself from the very beginning of the formation of this new group because there will be placed before its members among other things several very definite conditions, allowing of no compromise whatsoever, to which in all probability not all of you will be able to agree, and in this way some of the members of the former group will naturally fall away.» — declara que las condiciones sirven de criba, y lo dice por escrito y de antemano.

«Detailed explanation of the significance of all thirteen conditions, and the explanation of the motives logically justifying the necessity of these conditions, will be given by me in advance exclusively to those members of the former group who agree to and bind themselves under a special oath» — consigna que las trece condiciones solo se explican a quien ya se ha obligado por juramento.

«I, undersigned, after mature and profound reflection, without being influenced by anyone else at all, but of my own free will, promise under oath not to have, without instructions from MR. GURDJIEFF or a person officially representing him, any relations whatsoever, spoken or written, with any of the members of the former group existing till now under the name of 'Orage's group'» — reproduce el texto del compromiso que exigió firmar, que corta el trato con el grupo de Orage. Wellbeloved documenta que el propio Orage lo firmó.

«Those of you who, as is said in the text of the paper I have just read, agree 'after mature and profound reflection' to sign this paper must do so before twelve o'clock noon the day after tomorrow in the presence of my secretary-translator.» — fija el plazo y el procedimiento de la firma; el episodio se narra con detalle administrativo.

«This benevolent advice of mine to you Americans, composing in the given case this group, and who became, thanks to a series of accidentally arranged circumstances of life, my nearest essential friends, consists in indicating the categorical necessity that each of you should cease entirely, at least for three months, the reading of your newspapers and magazines, and during this time should become as well acquainted as possible with the contents of all three books of the first series of my writings entitled An Objectively Impartial Criticism of the Life of Man.» — la condición que impone al grupo: tres meses sin prensa y la primera serie leída entera.

«Such is the ordinary average man—an unconscious slave of the whole service to all-universal purposes, which are alien to his own personal individuality.» — la definición del hombre medio dentro de la cosmología del sistema.

«He may live through all his life as he arose and was crystallized thanks to all kinds of influences eventually forming the conditions of life around him, and as such after death be destroyed for ever.» — la consecuencia: sin trabajo, destrucción definitiva tras la muerte. Es la misma doctrina del alma no dada que Meetings pone en boca de su padre.

«And although this is the lot of every life, yet at the same time Great Nature gave to some lives, as in the given case, to man, corresponding possibilities to be not merely a blind tool of the whole entire service to the all-universal aim but at the same time, serving Nature and actualizing consciously what is predetermined for him, to produce what is required in excess and to utilize this excess for his 'egoism,' that is to say, for the definition and manifestation of his own individuality.» — expone la salida que la Naturaleza deja: producir un excedente y emplearlo en la propia individualidad.

«Speaking thus about it, I consider it my moral duty here to add and particularly to underline that, although the said liberation is possible for man, not every man has a chance» — pone el límite a la doctrina que acaba de exponer, y lo llama deber moral hacerlo.

«It is just these uncontrollable conditions which may not permit this liberation.» — precisa que el impedimento puede estar en condiciones fuera del control del interesado.

«My special investigations and experimentally statistical elucidations on this subject showed me clearly and very definitely that by Great, Allsolicitous Mother Nature the possibility is also foreseen for beings to acquire the kernel of their essence, that is to say, their own I, even after entering into responsible age.» — afirma, apoyándose en investigaciones propias, que el yo puede adquirirse también en la edad adulta.

«The foresight of Equitable Nature consists in the given case in this, that the possibility is given to us after our completed formation into responsible life, by our own intentions through certain inner experiencings and certain outer conditions to crystallize in our common presence data for the obtaining of such a kernel—of course with greater difficulty than in preparatory age.» — precisa el modo y el precio de esa posibilidad tardía.

«As to the possibility of this crossing for a man who in his responsible age has already entered into the stream of the 'nether region,' although it is given by Great Nature, I must warn you, in order not to provoke in you so to say 'light-hearted illusions' regarding this possibility to cross from one stream to another, that it is not so easy— merely to wish and you cross.» — acota la figura de las dos corrientes con una advertencia explícita contra las ilusiones fáciles.

«For this it is indispensable, with a constantly active consciousness, first of all with extremely great intensity to obtain the intentional crystallization in oneself of the data for engendering in one's common presence an unquenchable impulse of desire for such a crossing, and then will follow a long inner struggle, requiring great tension of all the inner forces, with the obvious abnormalities crystallized in one's individuality and evident even to one's own self-reasoning, that is to say, a struggle with the crystallized habits unworthy for man even in his own understanding in a period of repose, which contribute, first, to the arising in us of our inner 'Evil-God' and second, to the supporting and increasing in us of its power and» — describe el precio del paso de una corriente a otra: deseo inextinguible y lucha larga contra los propios hábitos, a los que llama Evil-God interior.

«This third impulse, which should be sometimes in the waking state of man, one of certain definite manifestations in the general presence of every normal man, is of all the seven exclusively-proper-to-man impulses the most important, because its association with the first two, namely, those which I have already said can be approximately expressed in English by the words "can" and "wish," almost composes and represents the genuine I of a man who has reached responsible age.» — expone los tres primeros de siete impulsos propios del hombre y hace del tercero la clave del yo genuino.

«It is only in a man with such an I that these three impulses, two of which are approximately defined in English by the words "I can" and "I wish," acquire in their turn that significance which I presume; which significance, and the corresponding force of action from their manifestation, is obtained only in a man who by his intentional efforts obtains the arising in himself of data for engendering these impulses sacred for man.» — precisa que los tres impulsos solo tienen fuerza en quien ya posee el yo, y que el yo se obtiene por esfuerzo intencional.

«Only such a man, when he consciously says "I am"—he really is; "I can"—he really can; "I wish"—he really wishes.» — la formulación más apretada de los tres impulsos, y la que da título al libro.

«I wish—I feel with my whole body that I wish.» — precisa que el querer del sistema es corporal y no mental.

«No. "I wish." I never like, never want, I do not desire anything and I do not need anything—all this is slavery; if "I wish" something, I must like it, even if I do not like it.» — separa I wish de gustar, querer, desear y necesitar, y llama esclavitud a los cuatro.

«Based on my own experience, I consider it absolutely necessary to note here that the difficulty of a clear understanding of all this without a long and deep reflection and, in general, the complication of the process of standing on the right path for the obtaining in one's common presence of factors for engendering even only these first three, from the number of seven, impulses characterizing genuine man, derives, from the very first attempts, from the fact that, on the one hand, these impulses can exist almost exclusively when one has one's own genuine I and, on the other hand, the I can be in man almost exclusively when he has in him these three impulses.» — enuncia el círculo de la doctrina —el yo requiere los impulsos y los impulsos requieren el yo— y lo declara como dificultad, no lo disimula.

«I said "simple" because in various serious schools, existing even in present times, for the self-perfecting of man, there are for the same purpose very complicated exercises.» — sitúa sus ejercicios como los simples frente a los de otras escuelas que dice existentes en su tiempo.

«you must know first of all that the obtained totality of results of various functions proceeding in the psychic life of people, which is called "attention," is itself split automatically by the accidental surrounding conditions, as well as by an intentional force of will» — define la atención como totalidad divisible, por accidente o por voluntad.

«For the given case, it is indispensable first to learn to divide one's entire attention in three approximately equal parts, and» — el primer requisito del ejercicio: repartir la atención en tres.

«First, all one's attention must be divided approximately into three equal parts; each of these parts must be concentrated on one of the three fingers of the right or the left hand, for instance the forefinger, the third and the fourth, constating in one finger—the result proceeding in it of the organic process called "sensing," in another—the result of the process called "feeling," and with the third—making any rhythmical movement and at the same time automatically conducting with the flowing of mental association a sequential or varied manner of counting.» — el ejercicio descrito con precisión de manual, dedo por dedo y función por función.

«say "cultivated soil" for the germination and growth of that upon which lay the hopes and expectations of the CREATOR OF EVERYTHING EXISTING, then you must always and in everything, struggling with the weaknesses that are in you according to law, attain at any cost, first of all, an all-round understanding, and then the practical realization in your presence, of this exercise just elucidated by me, in order to have the chance for a conscious crystallizing in yourself of the data still engendering the three mentioned impulses which must be present obligatorily in the common presence of every man who has the right to call himself a GODLIKE CREATURE.» — cierra la tercera charla ligando el ejercicio con la condición de criatura semejante a Dios, en las versalitas que la fuente imprime.

«FOURTH TALK delivered by me on December 12th, 1930, at a meeting of a newly formed group, to which were again admitted the members of the so-called Orage group.» — data la cuarta charla y consigna que el grupo de Orage fue readmitido.

«temporary people in general, and is manifested in the fact that a man does not guide himself in his acts by his own reasoning but follows blindly the example of others, and how the degree of development of his mentation—in the sense of his ableness to make logical confrontations—is really of a very low level.» — el rasgo que dice haber querido mostrar con el episodio: la imitación ciega en lugar del razonamiento propio.

«The first party consisted of those who decided not only to sign the obligation required by me but also in the future unconditionally to fulfill all kinds of orders and indications issued exclusively only by me personally.» — la primera de las tres facciones en que se partió el grupo.

«The second consisted of those in the psyche of whom through incomprehensible, at least to my mind, causes there was formed in this short time for some reason a strange factor, bidding their whole peculiar individuality not to recognize anything whatsoever issuing from me, but to remain true to the one who for several years had been for them, as one of them expressed himself, "not only teacher and mentor but also, as it were, their own 'loving father,' " that is to say, Mr. Orage.» — la segunda facción, la que le fue fiel a Orage; consigna la fórmula con que ellos lo nombraban.

«And as regards those of my charming "dainty" American followers of my ideas who then made up the third party, it is just they who have shown and proved the degree of con» — la tercera facción, presentada con ironía.

«I confess that I did not expect this because, as it was known to me, many of the members of the group had written to him about all that had happened here and particularly, of course, about my reiterated not very flattering opinion of him.» — consigna su propia sorpresa ante la llegada de Orage, y reconoce haber hablado mal de él ante el grupo.

«I have no more the right to meet you on the former conditions, even merely as an old friend!» — sus palabras a Orage al recibirlo, que rompen la relación anterior.

«I at once understood, without any doubt whatsoever, what was hidden behind the proposal made to me by Mr. Gurdjieff, which at first glance seemed really absurd—a proposal to me to sign also, like the others, the obligation which would deprive me of the right to have any relationship not only with the members of that group which I directed for such a long time but, however strange it may sound, even with myself.» — voz de Orage, reproducida por Gurdjieff, sobre el sentido que él vio en la exigencia de firmar contra sí mismo.

«I understood it at once, obviously because during these last days I meditated very much regarding the lack of correspondence between my inner conviction and what Mr. Gurdjieff calls 'my playing a role here,' and the heavy, unpleasant feeling created in me by the sincere cognition of that lack always increased more and more.» — voz de Orage, que acepta el diagnóstico en los propios términos de Gurdjieff. El discurso llega al lector solo por esta transcripción.

«I decided therefore to begin by signing the obligation required by Mr. Gurdjieff, and at the same time I give my word in your presence that, from this moment on, I shall not have any further communication either with any of the members of the former group, or even with my former self, on the grounds of the former conditions of mutual relations and influences.» — voz de Orage al firmar; el episodio queda cerrado con la sumisión del acusado, contada por el acusador.

«The first condition is to pay a fine, for not having signed the obligation in time, of a sum of dollars corresponding to the material possibilities of the given person, which will be established by a committee, specially chosen for this purpose, of several members of the former group.» — la primera condición impuesta a los rezagados: una multa graduada por capacidad de pago.

«The second condition is that all those who have fulfilled the first condition, that is, the immediate payment of the fine imposed on them which will not in any circumstances be returned, will be enrolled for the time being only as candidates for the new group, and only after a certain established term will it be decided, depending on the fulfillment or nonfulfill-ment by them of subsequent conditions, who is worthy to remain in the group as a full member and who is unconditionally to leave the group.» — la segunda condición, que deja a los que pagaron en calidad de candidatos a prueba.

«According to all kinds of historical data and to sane logical human mentation, man, as compared to the other external forms of life arising and existing on Earth, both by bodily organization, as well as the degree of complexity of the form of functioning of his psyche for every kind of perceiving and manifestation, ought to be, among these other external forms of life, really supreme and so to say 'directive' in respect of regulating the correctness of ordinary life, as well as in respect of giving indications for the worthy justification of the» — sitúa al hombre como forma directiva entre las formas de vida, con el ought to be que marca el desajuste.

«As the correctness of the functioning proceeding in us of any relatively independent organ depends on the correctness of the tempo of the general functioning of the whole organism, so also the correctness of our life depends on the correctness of the automatic life of all the other external forms of life arising and existing together with us on our planet.» — el argumento por analogía organismo-planeta que sostiene su ecología cósmica.

«As the general tempo of life on the Earth engendered by the cosmic laws consists of the totality of all the tempos both of our human life and also of all the other external forms of life, therefore, the abnormalities of the tempo of any one form of life, or even only the disharmony, must inevitably evoke abnormality and disharmony in another form of life.» — la consecuencia: el desajuste de una forma de vida contagia a las demás.

«I began to speak about such an abstract theme, at first glance distant from the one put by me for your immediate interest, chiefly because, wishing today to explain to you the method of one so to say 'cardinal' exercise for the conscious crystallization in you of the first of the seven» — declara por qué antepone la cosmología al ejercicio: el ejercicio depende de ella.

«I consider it important and for you very useful to note that such an aspect of objective truth in the process of human life was always, since ancient times on Earth, one of the fundamental secrets of initiates of all epochs and ranks, and the knowledge of it, as it is already established, might contribute by itself to increase the intensity of assimilation of the results deriving from this first, as well as other similar exercises.» — adjudica a los iniciados de todas las épocas el secreto que va a exponer, sin nombrar ninguno.

«I wish to explain to you just about that totality of cosmic substances and properties inherent to the totality which, not only in our human life but also in the other external forms of life, is the chief actualizing factor, and which, being the 'second substantial food,' is nothing other than the 'air' we breathe.» — identifica el segundo alimento con el aire, que es la doctrina que el derviche persa de Meetings enuncia treinta años antes.

«The air, from which are eliminated the elements necessary for our life, to be transformed afterwards in our organism into other cosmic substances for the needs of the general universal actualization, like every definite cosmic concentration is composed of two kinds of active elements with two properties, quite contradictory in their totality.» — expone la composición dual del aire dentro de su doctrina de los alimentos.

«One kind of active element has a subjective process of evolutionary striving, and the other, of involutionary.» — precisa la oposición de los dos elementos, evolutivo e involutivo.

«You must here know that on the Earth, in almost all epochs, the persons who deserved to become genuine initiates were divided into three categories.» — la tripartición de los iniciados, que corresponde a los tres grupos del Instituto.

«The first of the aforementioned secrets is that as a means for selfperfecting a man can use a certain property which is in his psyche, and which is even of a very negative character.» — presenta el primer secreto: usar como medio una propiedad psíquica que el propio sistema condena.

«If you have understood without any doubt what you must do, and how, and fully hope at some time to attain this in reality, you must at the beginning often imagine, but imagine only, that this is already present in you.» — el ejercicio del auto-engaño deliberado, con la acotación puesta: imaginar solamente.

«He who is exercising himself with this must at the beginning, when pronouncing the words "I am," imagine that this same reverberation is already proceeding in his solar plexus.» — la técnica concreta del segundo ejercicio, con su localización corporal.

«Here, by the way, it is curious to notice that as a result of the intentional concentration of this reverberation on any part of his body, a man can stop any disharmony which has arisen in this said part of the body, that is to say, he can for example cure his headache by concentrating the reverberation on that part of the head where he has the sensation of pain.» — atribuye a la técnica un efecto terapéutico concreto. Se consigna como lo que la obra afirma.

«Without this even if only imagined experiencing of the reverberation, the pronouncing aloud or to oneself of the words "I am" will have no significance at all.» — el límite del ejercicio: la fórmula sin reverberación no vale nada.

«The result of the pronouncing of them without this reverberation will be the same as that which is obtained from the automatic associative mentation of man, namely, an increase of that in the atmosphere of our planet from our perception of which, and from its blending with our second food, there arises in us an irresistible urge to destroy the various tempos of our ordinary life somehow established through centuries.» — hace de la repetición vacía una causa cósmica de desorden, no un simple gesto inútil.

«If "I am," only then "I can"; if "I can," only then do I deserve and have the objective right to wish.» — el encadenamiento de los tres impulsos, formulado como una escala de derecho.

«Without the ability to "can" there is no possibility of having anything; no, nor the right to it.» — la consecuencia práctica de esa escala.

«Although the normal man must be able to be sincere, yet he must also know when, where and for what purpose it is necessary to be sincere.» — acota la sinceridad con una condición de oportunidad; el mismo libro condena después la insinceridad de cortesía.

«Although, in the normal man, this attention in the passive state is also a "something" of proportionately blended results of the corresponding actions of all the three independent automatized parts in his whole individuality, and is always one whole, yet in an active state such a man can consciously concentrate this whole attention of his on anything, either on some part of his common presence or on something outside him, in such a so to say "collectiveness" that all the associations automatically proceeding in him, which being law-conformable results of the general functioning of his organism must always, as long as he breathes, inevitably proceed, will totally cease to hinder him.» — distingue atención pasiva y activa, y precisa que la activa no detiene las asociaciones sino que deja de sufrirlas.

«Here it might as well be remarked that, according to authentic information which has reached us from the very ancient past, it is clearly stated that it was very definitely proved by learned persons then that these automatically flowing associations never cease while a man lives, and in certain people still continue to proceed after death for several days by momentum.» — atribuye a sabios antiguos la afirmación de que las asociaciones siguen días después de la muerte, con la fórmula authentic information y sin fuente.

«But when owing to some disharmony in the general functioning of a man's organism—most often to a non-normal expenditure in his waking state of the law-conformably accumulated energy—this part of the general psyche of his waking state is not capable of normally actualizing itself during sleep, then, from the associations flowing in him, constated with this attention so to say "a bit here and a bit there," these famous "dreams" are obtained, that is to say, human foolishness.» — explica el sueño onírico como subproducto de un gasto anormal de energía, y lo despacha como necedad.

«Well then, I am now sitting among you, as you see, and although I am looking at Mr. L. yet I am intentionally directing all my attention, which you are not able to see, on my foot, and consequently any manifestation Mr. L. produces within my field of vision I see only automatically—my attention, which at the present moment is one whole, being in another place.» — hace la demostración del ejercicio delante del grupo y en tiempo real; el libro conserva la escena entera.

«I do not know just what this is nor do I wish to know, but I definitely constate, feel and sense that this is some definite "something" arising from the process automatically proceeding in my head brain of associations of previously consciously perceived impressions.» — declara no saber qué es lo que percibe y no querer saberlo; la abstención es aquí parte de la enseñanza.

«In spite of the fact that I have done this exercise just now among you for the purpose of illustratively elucidating its details to you, and have in consequence done it under conditions not corresponding to the possibility of accumulating to the full in my common presence the entire beneficial result of» — acota el valor de su propia demostración por las condiciones en que la hizo.

«But you, if you please, do not get too enthusiastic and too animated about my state which you vividly sense and which you also desire to acquire.» — corta el entusiasmo del auditorio en el momento mismo del efecto.

«You, for the time being, must not expect such a definite result from your intentional repetitions of this same exercise.» — pone el límite a lo que los alumnos pueden esperar del ejercicio.

«Now, without philosophizing and without your, for you, maleficent discussions, try first of all to understand the totality of all that I have said today, and then do the exercise for yourself, but without any hope or expectation of any definite results.» — la instrucción de cierre: practicar sin esperar resultado.

«Although the subject which I intend to elucidate by means of the text of this chapter of the last book of my writings is entirely lacking in the mentation of contemporary people, there nevertheless flows from the ignorance of the meaning of this subject the greatest part, if not all, of the misunderstandings which take place» — abre el capítulo que él mismo señala como clave del libro.

«Not only do the causes of almost all the misunderstandings of our common life flow from the lack of understanding of the significance of the given subject, but also exclusively in it are contained all the answers to the possibility of solving the chief problem» — enuncia el alcance que atribuye al asunto del mundo exterior e interior.

«That is, thanks alone to the recognition and all-round understanding of the sense and significance of this subject is it possible to solve the problem of the prolongation of human life.» — liga ese asunto con el problema de la prolongación de la vida, que es el hilo del capítulo.

«This very ancient manuscript, the contents of which I intend to make use of, is one of those relics which is handed down from generation to generation by a very limited number of people, that is, by "Initiates"— not such "initiates," however, as have been multiplying recently in Europe, but genuine ones.» — presenta su fuente como manuscrito antiquísimo transmitido por iniciados, y de paso descarta a los iniciados europeos de su tiempo. La fuente no se identifica.

«The factors producing the second totality of functioning begin to form in boys from the age of nine years, and in girls even from the age of four years, lasting in different cases a different length of time, approximately until the attainment of maturity.» — da edades precisas para la formación de la segunda totalidad, distintas por sexo.

«But in the case of people who have consciously perfected themselves to the so-called "all-centers-awake state," that is, to the state of being able in their waking state to think and feel on their own initiative, these factors still continue to form in man until the age of three hundred years and in woman until the age of two hundred.» — atribuye al estado de todos los centros despiertos una duración de trescientos y doscientos años. Se consigna como lo que el manuscrito citado sostiene.

«Even that idea, "absurd" for all contemporary scientists, that there proceed in man simultaneously three associations of independent nature, did not surprise me, and I accepted it with a feeling of great respect for the knowledge of ancient people.» — declara qué del manuscrito aceptó sin dificultad y por qué.

«Most important of all is that not only do the three kinds of independent associations flow simultaneously, but also there participate in all of them» — señala el punto que le costó entender, que es el de la participación de la atención en las tres.

«In connection with the writing of this book there have been, altogether, many coincidences, seemingly very strange at first glance, but which on closer scrutiny have shown themselves» — anuncia la serie de coincidencias que el capítulo narra, y con la reserva puesta: a examen dejan de parecer extrañas.

«All at once, there began to be constated in my consciousness various conclusions which I had drawn in my past life, but which had not yet been formed into a conviction, concerning the fact of "noticeable coincidences" which take place in our lives.» — sitúa las coincidencias como asunto de estudio, no como prodigio.

«As in those days I was completely filled with thoughts about my own sickness, and almost entirely convinced of the possibility of regulating my health by means of intentional suffering, I, of course, advised him to do the same—but in a form corresponding to his individuality and the conditions of his ordinary life.» — narra el consejo que dio a Orage sobre su salud, fundado en el sufrimiento intencional. Wellbeloved consigna que la muerte de Orage llegó siete años después de esa carta.

«Among the many unprofitable consequences of this event, namely, the death of Mr. Orage, unprofitable for me and my writings, was also that from that day on, just that 6th of November, for two months, in spite of my constant wish, and constant efforts, I was not able to add a single word to what I had written up to half-past eleven that morning.» — data la muerte de Orage y el bloqueo de dos meses que le siguió; el libro registra sus propias interrupciones con hora exacta.

«I shall not relate here about his further letters and our personal conversations in connection with his illness and my advice; I shall only point out that the essence of the cause of the failure of my advice can be clearly explained to every reader by the words occurring in one of the chapters of this third series, which come from his own mouth.» — remite la causa del fracaso de su consejo a las propias palabras de Orage transcritas en otro capítulo, sin decirla él.

«It has just occurred to me that the thoughts which I expressed to a small group of people at a meeting in a suburb, in connection with the death of Mr. Orage, might serve as a better clarification of the meaning and significance of the whole contents of this chapter, and I have therefore decided to recollect these thoughts in my memory and to add them here.» — declara que lo que sigue está reconstruido de memoria; el estatuto del texto queda dicho por él mismo.

«But why be insincere even in those cases when there is absolutely no advantage in it for your being, not even for the satisfaction of your egoism?» — la pregunta con que abre su condena del pésame; el argumento es de economía, no de sentimiento.

«Is it not enough that our daily life is filled to overflowing with insincerity, thanks to the abnormally established habits of our mutual relationships?» — extiende la crítica de la fórmula de duelo a las relaciones corrientes.

«Unfailingly to express sympathy at the death of anyone or anybody is just such a vicious habit, instilled in childhood, thanks to the totality of which our half-intentional actions come to an automatic end.» — clasifica el pésame entre los hábitos que automatizan lo que era medio intencional.

«To express one's sympathy to someone in the case of the death of a person close to him was considered in ancient times an immoral, even criminal action.» — adjudica a la antigüedad la condena del pésame; la afirmación se da sin fuente.

«Perhaps it was considered so because it is easily possible that, in the being of that person who is being thus addressed, the process of the fresh impression of the loss of a close person has not yet quieted down, and by these empty words of sympathy he is reminded of it again and his suffering aroused anew.» — propone la razón con dos atenuantes seguidos, perhaps y it is easily possible.

«Many thousand years ago, when a person died, for the first three days no one would be present at the place of this sad happening, except the priests and their assistants.» — narra el rito funerario antiguo que opone al contemporáneo, empezando por los tres días de reserva.

«Only on the fourth day there would assemble all the relations and relations by marriage, as well as neighbors, acquaintances and even strangers who wished to come.» — el segundo tiempo del rito, con la asamblea abierta incluso a desconocidos.

«After this meal, they gathered in the largest room of the house, and set themselves down to the so-called 'Remembering Feast,' recalling to mind and relating only the bad and evil deeds of the deceased during his life.» — el núcleo del rito que describe: recordar del muerto solo lo malo.

«I will not add more but will leave it to each one of you to decide for himself what advantage there might be if such a 'savage' custom could be established again.» — se abstiene de sacar la conclusión y la deja al oyente, con el entrecomillado sobre salvaje puesto por él.

«Only the complete realization by man of the inevitability of his own death can destroy those factors, implanted thanks to our abnormal life, of the expression of different aspects of our egoism, this cause of all evil in our common life.» — la doctrina del recuerdo de la muerte como único destructor del egoísmo. Es el pasaje que Wellbeloved cita al exponer esta entrada.

«As I spoke the above, there occurred to me, I don't know why, the verse of a very old Persian song and, quite involuntarily, I recited it on the spot.» — advierte que los versos que siguen son de una canción persa antigua, recitada de memoria y no compuesta por él.

«With the words of these ancient Persian verses, a scientific wisdom is expressed, which one may express in your customary language approximately as follows:» — declara además que lo que se lee es una versión aproximada al inglés y no la letra de aquella canción.

«If all men bad a soul, Long ago there would have been no room left on earth For poisonous plants or wild beasts, And even evil would have ceased to exist.» — los versos persas tal como los da el libro: el alma es excepción y no dote común. El facsímil imprime bad por had.

«Soul is for the lazy fantasy, Luxury for the indulger in suffering;» — la continuación de los versos, donde el alma queda entre la fantasía y el lujo.

«But, after a few hours of sleep, as I began again to write further, and came to that point where I had first used the expression "problem of the prolongation of human life," I became stuck again.» — narra el atasco de la escritura en el punto exacto del que sale el capítulo siguiente.

«It became absolutely clear to me that without such an introductory theme everything else would have no worth at all.» — declara por qué necesitaba una introducción científica al asunto de la vejez.

«Involuntarily, I began to consider how I might make use of such a chance coincidence and, after I had thought it over a little, I decided simply to include the entire article in a corresponding place in this chapter.» — anuncia que va a insertar entero un artículo ajeno; lo que sigue en el capítulo no es suyo.

«And in order that quotation of this article may not be considered plagiarism, I am inserting it in full, with information on where it was» — declara la razón de dar la procedencia completa: no ser tomado por plagiario. La atribución es del propio autor.

«THE PROBLEM OF OLD AGE by P. MANN Russky Golos Sunday, April 14, 1935» — el encabezado con que la fuente identifica el artículo insertado: autor, periódico y fecha. Todo lo que sigue sobre Metchnikov, Brown-Séquard, Steinach y Voronov es de P. Mann, no de Gurdjieff.

«When Metchnikov's works were published, it seemed as if the problem of the prolongation of human life had been solved.» — del artículo de P. Mann: el punto de partida de su reseña sobre la vejez.

«Without doubt, the poisons of the intestinal bacteria are harmful; but there are many still more important causes for the premature ageing of the animal organism.» — del artículo de P. Mann, que acota a Metchnikov sin descartarlo.

«The famous French physiologist, Brown-Séquard, attempted to slow down the approach of old age, and to rejuvenate the organism by injections from the sex glands of animals.» — del artículo de P. Mann: la segunda vía de rejuvenecimiento que reseña.

«After the wide use of this method had shown no great results, Steinach and Voronov, returning to the idea of the French physiologist, tried to achieve rejuvenation by tying back the testicles and grafting on the sex glands of young animals.» — del artículo de P. Mann: la tercera vía, con el resultado ya consignado como escaso.

«But they are in agreement only in their general conclusion, the conclusion, namely, that death is doubtless in too great a hurry to reach man.» — del artículo de P. Mann: lo único en que los investigadores coinciden.

«It is known that in extraordinary cases man can live to a hundred, a hundred and twenty, and even to a hundred and fifty years!» — del artículo de P. Mann; conviene leerlo junto a las cifras de trescientos y doscientos años que el manuscrito citado por Gurdjieff da unas planas antes.

«This method has opened new and great possibilities to Soviet Russian science.» — la línea con que se cierra el artículo insertado, y que sitúa su procedencia editorial.

«What they call the "soul" does really exist, but not everybody necessarily has one.» — recuperada su voz tras el artículo, enuncia la doctrina del alma no dada. Es la misma que Meetings pone en boca de su padre y la que Wellbeloved documenta como posición dominante en él.

«A soul is not born with man and can neither unfold nor take form in him so long as his body is not fully developed.» — precisa la condición del alma: no nace con el hombre y espera al cuerpo formado.

«The highest esoteric science calls such a man "a man in quotation marks"; in other words he is named a man and at the same time he is not a man.» — el hombre entrecomillado, término que Wellbeloved recoge en su diccionario con esta misma referencia.

«The "I" in a real man represents that totality of the functioning of his general psyche whose factors have their origin in the results of contemplation, or simply in the contact between the first two totalities, that is, between the factors of his inner world and of his outer world.» — la definición del yo como producto del contacto entre los dos mundos, que es la tesis del capítulo final.

«And thus, this third world of man is, strictly speaking, as the ancient sciences understood, the real "inner world of man" as opposed to the real "outer world."» — corrige el uso corriente de los términos: el mundo interior verdadero es el tercero, no el de los automatismos.

«A man who does not possess his own world can never do anything from his own initiative: all his actions "are done" in him.» — la consecuencia práctica: sin tercer mundo no hay iniciativa, solo cosas que se hacen en uno.

«And it is indeed in this sense that one must understand the saying, common to all the old religious teachings, that "man receives all his possibilities from On High.» — reinterpreta el dicho religioso en clave de su propia doctrina, y consigna que es común a todas las enseñanzas antiguas.

«"The sharpness of the contradiction which appears between two diametrically opposed actions is directly proportional to the duration of their meeting."» — la ley que formula para explicar por qué sus allegados acaban volviéndose contra él.

«The more someone has direct relations with me, the more strength he shows later in the diametrically opposed actions that he manifests towards me.» — la aplicación de esa ley a su propio caso; con ella el libro explica la ruptura con Orage sin culpar a nadie.

«First of all, you must know that throughout the entire Universe every concentration, to whatever species it belongs, has the property of giving off radiations.» — la premisa cosmológica de la doctrina de las radiaciones.

«The general radiation of a person also consists of three independent kinds of vibrations, each with its own quality of vivifyingness.» — reparte la radiación humana en tres clases, una por totalidad.

«The first kind of vibrations has its origin in the process called "active thought," and sometimes even, thanks to certain known combinations, in the process of "passive thought."» — la primera clase de vibraciones, con su excepción incluida.

«The second kind of vibrations has its origin in the process called "feeling."» — la segunda clase, la del sentimiento.

«The third kind of vibrations corresponds to the totality of the results issuing from the functioning of all the organs of the physical body— they are also referred to as "vibrations of the instinctive functions."» — la tercera clase, la instintiva, con el nombre alterno que la fuente da.

«The vibrations given off by the whole presence of a man in a state of complete relaxation constitute in themselves an atmosphere analogous to the spectrum of colors, having a known limit to its expansion.» — describe la atmósfera humana por analogía con el espectro, y le pone un límite de expansión.

«If two people are together, the closer they are to each other, the more intimate is the mixing of their atmospheres, and therefore the better is the contact achieved between their specific vibrations.» — deriva de esa doctrina una física del trato personal, que es la que cierra el libro.

«The blending and fusion of the specific vibrations given off by different people take place mechanically, depending on their situation in relation to each other and on the conditions they are in.» — precisa que esa mezcla es mecánica y no voluntaria; con ello el capítulo final vuelve a la mecanicidad de la que partió el libro.

«No one interested in my writings should ever attempt to read them in any other than the indicated order; in other words, he should never read anything written by me before he is already well acquainted with the earlier works» — la instrucción de orden de lectura que firma

«as regards the real, indubitably comprehensible, genuine objective truths which will be brought to light by me in the third series, I intend to make them accessible exclusively only to those from among the hearers of the second series of my writings who will be selected by specially prepared people according to my considered instructions» — y la reserva que declara: las verdades de la tercera serie las hace accesibles solo a lectores seleccionados según sus instrucciones

«Although this text is no more than a fragmentary and preliminary draft of what G. I. Gurdjieff intended to write for the Third Series» — de la nota editorial, y es el dato más importante de esta ficha: lo que circula como tercera serie es un borrador.

«Publish as and when you are sure that the time has come» — de la misma nota, sobre la instrucción bajo la que los editores dicen haber actuado. La decisión de publicar es de ellos; el criterio se lo adjudican a él.

«we consider we are being faithful to his intention when he wrote the introduction» — la fórmula con que los editores justifican su intervención: fidelidad a una intención, no a un texto acabado.

Cadena de transmisión (quién tomó de quién) — El orden de lectura de las tres series lo impone el autor por escrito, y sin él el corpus no se entiende como quiso.

Crítica de fuentes (criterios de inclusión y descarte) — La tercera serie es un borrador publicado póstumamente por decisión de terceros que declaran obrar según su intención.

Secreto (lo que se jura no fijar por escrito) — Las verdades objetivas se prometen para esta serie, que quedó sin terminar.