Life is Real Only Then, When 'I Am'

«No one interested in my writings should ever attempt to read them in any other than the indicated order» — la instrucción que ata la trilogía: el orden de lectura es dato de la obra, no convención editorial.

«Life is real only then, when "I am"» — el título, que es también la tesis: la realidad de la vida queda condicionada a la presencia de sí.

«the real, indubitably comprehensible, genuine objective truths which will be brought to light by me in the third series» — lo que se promete para esta serie, y conviene leerlo junto al hecho de que quedó sin terminar.

«ALL AND EVERYTHING Ten Books in Three Series FIRST SERIES: Three books under the title of "Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson" or, "An Objectively Impartial Criticism of the Life of Man," SECOND SERIES: Three books under the common title of "Meetings with Remarkable Men." THIRD SERIES: Four books under the common title of "Life Is Real Only Then, When I Am."» — el plan declarado del corpus entero: diez libros en tres series, con el título alterno de la primera. Este volumen es el que lo imprime.

«All written according to entirely new principles of logical reasoning and strictly directed towards the solution of the following three cardinal problems:» — declara que las tres series obedecen a principios nuevos de razonamiento y a tres problemas cardinales, que enuncia a continuación.

«FIRST SERIES: To destroy, mercilessly, without any compromises whatsoever, in the mentation and feelings of the reader, the beliefs and views, by centuries rooted in him, about everything existing in the world.» — el fin de la primera serie, formulado como demolición sin compromiso. La ficha de Meetings recoge la misma fórmula por boca de su prologuista.

«SECOND SERIES: To acquaint the reader with the material required for a new creation and to prove the soundness and good quality of it.» — el fin de la segunda serie: dar el material para una construcción nueva y probar su calidad.

«THIRD SERIES: To assist the arising, in the mentation and in the feelings of the reader, of a veritable, nonfantastic representation not of that illusory world which he now perceives, but of the world existing in reality.» — el fin de esta tercera serie, que la propia edición declara inconclusa: hacer surgir una representación del mundo real frente al ilusorio.

«No! This cannot be! . . . Something here is not right!» — el arranque del prólogo, escrito en primera persona y en el momento en que constata que su capacidad de recordarse se le va.

«If this is true, then everything in the sphere of reason is illogical.» — la consecuencia que saca de esa constatación, y con la que abre la crisis que el libro narra.

«Moreover, my Being is necessary not only for my personal egoism but also for the common welfare of all humanity.» — la razón que se da a sí mismo para no rendirse, y que enlaza su caso particular con un fin general.

«Since I had not, when in full strength and health, succeeded in introducing in practice into the life of people the beneficial truths elucidated for them by me, then I must at least, at any cost, succeed in doing this in theory, before my death.» — el motivo declarado del giro a la escritura: fracasada la vía práctica, queda la teórica.

«I had decided to write three series of books.» — narra la decisión de escribir las tres series, y la data en aquella crisis.

«During this common reading, by the way, I enlightened myself for the first time with regard to the particular form in which it would be necessary to write in order that it might be accessible to the understanding of everyone.» — cuenta que la forma accesible de la segunda serie la descubrió en una lectura en voz alta, es decir por el efecto sobre oyentes.

«But time is needed for the exposition of the second and third series; and time will be also necessary for introducing into practical life the essence of these writings of mine.» — plantea el problema del que depende todo el libro: el tiempo que le queda.

«And indeed there remains to me but one or two or perhaps, at the most, three years more of life.» — el plazo que se atribuye, con su perhaps. Conviene leerlo junto al hecho de que la obra quedó sin terminar.

«Concerning this, that is, that I have soon to die, any one of hundreds of physician-specialists knowing me can now confirm.» — respalda ese plazo con una apelación a médicos que no nombra.

«In fact, all the functions of my organism which previously had been, as my friends said, "steel-cast," had gradually degenerated, so that at the present moment due to constant overworking not one of them was, even relatively, functioning properly.» — el balance de su estado físico, referido con el término que atribuye a sus amigos.

«At this time it was ascertained that below, in the process of civil war, the upper hand, as it is said, had been taken by the Russian army and that already everywhere the Cossacks were poking about and arresting every "suspicious" inhabitant who was not a native.» — sitúa el episodio de la herida de bala dentro de la guerra civil; el libro cuenta sus heridas con el contexto militar puesto.

«The fact of the matter is that, in places where the railroad passed, there had only recently been completed a so-called "realization of a higher gradation" of the "national psychosis,"» — nombra con su propia terminología irónica la matanza interétnica de la región.

«My misfortune in this case consisted in the fact that, having a "universal appearance," I represented to the Armenians a pure-blooded Tartar and to the Tartars a pure-blooded Armenian.» — narra su propia ambigüedad de aspecto como peligro; es el reverso de los disfraces que Meetings cuenta como recurso.

«He was arrested only because he was here for the first time and nobody here had ever seen him before.» — refiere la detención de su acompañante, y la causa: ser desconocido en el lugar.

«And as there were now many dangerous revolutionaries everywhere, he was arrested only in order to establish his identity.» — completa la explicación del arresto, sin comentario político.

«This place is located on the southwestern edge of the Gobi desert and represents to my mind the most fertile of all the parts of the surface of our earth.» — sitúa el lugar de su convalecencia en el borde suroccidental del Gobi, sin más precisión.

«And concerning the air of this place and its salutary influence on everyone inhaling it, I will say that it is truly purgatorial.» — llama purgatorial al aire del lugar, término que el pasaje siguiente explica en sentido literal.

«If in reality there exist paradise and hell, and if from them arises any radiation, then the air in the space between these two sources would surely have to be similar to this.» — la explicación del término, planteada como condicional doble y no como afirmación cosmológica.

«For on one side is a soil which almost literally pours from itself, as from a cornucopia, all kinds of earthly flora, fauna and phoscalia, and right next to this fertile soil is an area of many thousands of square kilometers representing literally hell, where not only nothing crops up but anything originating elsewhere that happens to get in its midst, is destroyed in a very short time, leaving no trace.» — la descripción geográfica de la que saca la figura del aire entre paraíso e infierno; phoscalia es término suyo.

«Living there, far from people of all sorts, attended by these two sympathetic people who treated me almost maternally, and all the time nourished by the above-mentioned "cleansing air," I, within six weeks, recovered so that I already wished and was able at any moment to leave this salutary place.» — narra su restablecimiento en seis semanas y atribuye parte de él al aire, que trata como segundo alimento.

«For instance, the development of the power of my thoughts had been brought to such a level that by only a few hours of self-preparation I could from a distance of tens of miles kill a yak;» — se atribuye poderes de acción a distancia. Se consigna como lo que la obra afirma de su autor, no como hecho.

«or, in twenty-four hours, could accumulate life forces of such compactness that I could in five minutes put to sleep an elephant.» — la segunda de esas afirmaciones sobre sí mismo, con las mismas cautelas de lectura.

«I could not attain the state of "remembering myself even sufficiently to hinder the associations flowing in me automatically from certain undesirable hereditary factors of my nature.» — el hallazgo que ordena el libro: los poderes no bastan para recordarse a sí mismo. El OCR pierde la comilla de cierre.

«From one side it is clear that it is necessary to "remember myself" during the process of ordinary life also, and from the other side that there is a necessity for the presence of attentiveness which is able to merge, in case of contact, with others.» — plantea las dos condiciones del auto-recuerdo: en la vida ordinaria y con atención capaz de fundirse en el contacto.

«However, there is; there is one exit only—to have outside myself, so to say, a "never-sleeping-regulating-factor."» — nombra la solución que adopta: un factor regulador exterior que no duerma nunca.

«Namely, a factor which would remind me always, in my every common state, to "remember myself."» — precisa la función de ese factor, que es la que da sentido al juramento que sigue.

«I am a man, and as such I am, in contrast to all other outer forms of animal life, created by Him in His image!!!» — la premisa teológica de la que deriva lo que sigue, con los signos de admisión que la fuente imprime.

«I am God also, although only of my inner world.» — la conclusión que saca de esa premisa, con su límite dentro: solo de su mundo interior.

«Therefore I also have now for my small inner world to create out of myself, from some factor beloved by me, an alike unending source.» — el razonamiento por analogía que lo lleva a sacrificar lo que más quiere de sí.

«Thanks mainly to this my inherency, developed in me by myself, /, in the process of general life, especially for the last two years, had been spoiled and depraved to the core, so that most likely this would remain for all my life.» — el juicio sobre sí mismo del que sale el juramento; la inherencia le sirvió para corromperse.

«And so, if consciously I would deprive myself of this grace of my inherency, then undoubtedly always and in everything its absence would be felt.» — el cálculo que hace: la privación misma será el recordatorio permanente.

«I take an oath to remember never to make use of this inherency of mine and thereby to deprive myself from satisfying most of my vices.» — el juramento que el libro pone en su centro, y con el motivo que él le da.

«Although this text is no more than a fragmentary and preliminary draft of what G. I. Gurdjieff intended to write for the Third Series» — de la nota editorial, y es el dato más importante de esta ficha: lo que circula como tercera serie es un borrador.

«Publish as and when you are sure that the time has come» — de la misma nota, sobre la instrucción bajo la que los editores dicen haber actuado. La decisión de publicar es de ellos; el criterio se lo adjudican a él.

«we consider we are being faithful to his intention when he wrote the introduction» — la fórmula con que los editores justifican su intervención: fidelidad a una intención, no a un texto acabado.